I wanna talk about me

Chasing Spring

2012-02-16T00:14:00.000-08:00

I am soooo over winter. It is cold, there is no snow this year, I've been sick for three weeks, AND, my mom (who helps me all the time) is in Hawaii for the entire month. So to put it mildly, I've got the winter blues. It's time to start thinking about Spring. At least our spring wardrobe. This is what I would be buying right now (if I had the means...)

I love Boden. Their clothes never fit me but it doesn't stop me from ordering their stuff (and then returning it all.)

I love this whole outfit..the dress, the belt, the cardigan:

I also drool over this pencil skirt-cardigan combo (totally sold out):

I have an unhealthy addiction to White House Black Market. I love this sweater jacket. I think I could wear it to work..that is if I actually worked, which I don't, but whatever:

I've got a hankerin' for some red jeans. Every guy I know hates red jeans but girls love them. These would not be for dates but for impressing my lady friends (I'm thinking I'm going to skip the bare midriff look):

For the gym, a Lululemon skirt (I may or may not have already purchased this item!) To my friends in Utah, did you hear the good news? We now have a Lululemon store at Trolley!

And don't forget a swimsuit for the tropical get-away I'm not taking..this one is from Nordstrom (I'm a sucker for black and white and polka dots)

And I think this one by Hapari is really cute too (under wire..hallelujah!)

And let's not leave the kids out. I would get Sammie this outfit at Gymboree (It would be cute for an Easter egg hunt):

And this outfit for my two little boys from Janie and Jack (matching of course)..I never get tired of plaid shorts:

And for Luke, cute swim trunks and fake Vans from Old Navy:

I have a big surprise in store for you. Check back tomorrow for an awesome "Beat the Winter Blues" swimsuit giveaway!

I Love Valentine's Day

2012-02-14T18:40:00.000-08:00

It's Valentine's Day and I've got love on the brain. I have a friend who used to refer to Valentine's day as "single awareness day." Yes, that is true. But it was still a good day. I usually do a "What I Love..What I Don't Love" format on V day but today, it's all about my kiddos.

Here goes:

I love that Luke constructed his own lego Valentine's box with no help from me. When he came upstairs with it, he said, "isn't it cool how our family always takes Valentine's boxes to the next level?" Yes, son, it is...especially when I am not involved in them whatsoever.

I love that Sammie (who thinks she is a teenager) still wants to wear this over-the-top headband to school.

I love that Ryan asked me to marry him yesterday and I said yes. I wish he was 30 years older and not my son.

I love that Buster wore this shirt today and takes baths with me and is basically my dream date every day. He gives awesome kisses and says "night night mama" in the cutest softest voice ever.

So there you have it. I am love with these four. Happy Valentines Day!

ps. I found this post when I was looking for a pic of the Valentine boxes and it made me sad.

The People Have Spoken

2012-02-11T09:16:00.001-08:00

You want me back! I'm flattered. I didn't even realize how long I had been gone. Life has been crazy...like really crazy..like Christmas crazy on 'roids times five. I haven't even been watching the Bachelor..that is how crazy my life has been. I miss the Bachelor. Should I be watching?

My divorce became final while I was on my girls' trip with my mom and Sammie. It was bittersweet news. I cried but I also felt relieved. The next chapter of my life can begin. The big announcement is I have started dating. And it has taken over my life. This really is a post for another day because there has been some hilarious stuff and sad stuff and dating is a completely different animal the second time around..especially in your thirties with kids, and all the technology (think texting, messaging, facebook). It takes a lot of emotional energy and time but it is a lot of fun. That post is coming. Get excited!

But mostly, I am just trying to be a good mom, dragging my trash to the gym, dealing with divorce odds and ends like getting the utilities changed over to my name (just little pain in the butt stuff), making time for friends and family, churchy stuff, and making dinner here and there (Thank Heavens for fast food!)

But I haven't given up on the blog (or your blogs!) I need to get back in. I am always writing blog posts in my head but never get around to doing them..like am I the only one who is completely sad about Heidi Klum and Seal?

I have always wondered how they ended up together but they seemed totally real and in love. I always take celebrity divorces hard. I should learn..but I never do...I am still trying to come to terms with Nick and Jessica!

So don't give up on me! I have some really fun stuff coming down the pike. My friend's dad owns all the Corner Bakery's in SLC and I am going to be doing a really cool giveaway for him! And I have another give-away in the works...maybe something I have done in the past...we'll see. Check back soon!

American Girl Doll Store aka the Time Grandma Linda Completely Blew the Wad

2012-01-25T13:57:00.000-08:00

The whole purpose of the girls' trip was to take the little girls to the American Girl Doll Store in LA and it did not disappoint. Friday morning, we got up and drove first to South Coast Plaza, a true shopping destination. If you know anything about the Warner women, you know that for us, a beautiful shopping mall is better than any natural landmark or stuffy museum.

South Coast plaza was huge and we didn't have anywhere near enough time to do it justice. I spent a good portion of my time in Nordstrom dealing with an exchange of the awesome Hobo wallet I gave myself for Christmas. Mine was defective and I am getting a new one in the mail any day...because I know you care.

Anyhoo, after trying on swimsuits at Nordy's and spending our gymbucks at Gymboree, we met up with my sis-in-law Sarah and headed north to LA.

The American Girl store was so cute. It is in an outdoor shopping center with a trolley driving people around and palm trees...Heaven. We had the most fabulous lunch...seriously! Best food of the trip. We started with little sweet rolls, then they brought out more appetizers, our entrees and then these cute dessert plates. That little flower pot is mouse...it was all divine.

Don't think I didn't eat every thing that wasn't glued to the table. See post where I completely blew my fitness plan.

The cafe had little chairs and plates for the dolls and everything was hot pink and black! We ate out on the balcony and the weather was perfect. I never wanted to leave.

Then we shopped in the store. Just like Sammie, I found a doll that is my mini-me!

Grandma completely spoiled the little girls and they each left with a big bag of goodies:

Then we got back on the freeway and I drove two hours in the LA traffic back south (THANK GOODNESS for the Garmin!) What on earth did we do before navigation?!

My mom and I met my friends Greg and Julie for dinner at the Yard House. We had a blast and then drove back to my brother's house for the night (totally flashed out photo):

When we got there, Sammie and her cousin Kate had put out a display of their dolls and outfits...so funny!

Girls' Trip 2012 aka The Time I Totally Blew My Fitness Plan

2012-01-24T14:19:00.000-08:00

Last week, Sammie, my mom and I went on a short girls' trip to Southern California. We met up with my sis-in-law Sarah and her daughter Kate. Both Sammie and Kate got American Girl dolls for Christmas so the point of the trip was to visit the American Girl doll store in LA. Wow. It was fantastic!

We flew in Wednesday night and ate at California Pizza kitchen. This was no small victory for me because my mom has never been a fan of CPK. But I think the chopped BBQ chicken salad and tortilla soup won her over.

I am going to divide the trip into two parts--Disneyland and LA (lucky you!)

Thursday morning we woke up bright and early and headed to Disneyland. (First time ever without a stroller!) I was able to talk a worker into letting us into the park an hour early even though we didn't have the early entry passes. There may or may not have been some deceit involved.

I have always wanted to eat lunch at the Blue Bayou...something about being on Pirates and looking up at all those lucky people eating in there and the sound of the silverware tinkling. Since we didn't have my other kids, we ate there. It was good but very expensive.

Our favorite thing was the salad...delicious. I didn't realize the Monte Cristo sandwich was deep fried and I had to kind of pick my way through it.

The rest of the day was really fun. My brother Rex and his family joined us.

Sammie loves the big rides like California Screamin' and Space Mountain. The park was really empty and we walked on most of the rides.

The weather was perfect. I am sold on Disneyland in January. The best part was that "It's a Small World" still had the lights up and the "Christmas overlay" which was adorable.

And we happened to catch a parade right at the end of the night. Disneyland doesn't do anything half-way:

On the way out of the park I got the most delicious almond hot chocolate...probably the best treat at Disneyland next to the peanut butter cookies at Pooh Corner! Tomorrow I will post about LA!

No Ifs. Ands, or Jiggly Butts (or arms)

2012-01-17T11:30:00.000-08:00

About this time last year, I did Club Phat. It dang near ruined my life. So like an idiot, I am doing another weight loss competition again. I started last week. Honestly, I don't have a ton of weight to lose this time, I just really want to eat better, i.e. less junk, and be inspired to get in really great shape.

So my friend Kaari started a contest called Flab to Fit where we get points for working out and a point for every pound we lose. Simple. Which is what I love about it. No points for getting sleep, eating veggies, or drinking water. Which is good because I suck at all three. I love that you can get as many points as you want for working out and since I work out almost every day anyway, that one is easy.

My main goal in all of this is to lose five pounds (that I put on over Christmas) and firm up my lunch lady arms. I am a Warner. It is my destiny to carry weight in my upper arms (hi mom!) (Except Ashley, I don't know how she avoided chubby arms.) In fact, I got my body fat tested at the gym and it was 21% going off my leg and stomach measurements and freaking 26% going off the back of my ham hock arm! So I am going to be focusing on lifting more weight with my arms and eating less Oreos. Oreos=fat arms in my world.

So here is my plan (notice everything is moderation...I don't do well with hard and fast rules or strict diets.)

1. Get my can to the gym everyday for an hour.

2. Lift weights at least twice a week..focusing on my arms (increasing weight.)

3. Cut back on junk food. I have already lost 3 pounds in the first week by merely cutting back (not cutting out!) junk food. I have a serious addiction. I was eating a whore's breakfast of Oreos and diet coke and then going to work out. Insanity people! Now I eat oatmeal for breakfast...small changes make a big difference.

4. Get more protein in my diet...protein shakes, protein bars, hamburgers, Costco dogs (whatever..I don't worry about fat..for me cutting out the sugar and junk food allows me to eat whatever real food I want.)

5. I try to only drink the black acid (Diet Coke) when I go out to eat or when I really really want one.

That's it. Simple right? Six weeks and I am going to be a new woman. Let's DO THIS!

The Dance

2012-01-15T20:56:00.000-08:00

Right after the holidays, I was having some bad days, more specifically, some bad nights. For me, the grief of my divorce hits me after my kids are in bed, when the house is quiet and I have time to think. The mornings are hard too, right when I wake up and I remember that this is my life, and I am really getting divorced, and it wasn't all a bad dream. Sam and I have been separated for over five months so I am used to being alone. I think I have come to terms with my current situation. What is hard for me, is how to deal with the past.

Divorce is hard on so many levels. I could never possibly explain to someone who has not been through it, all the ways it hurts. And it hurts in a different way than it would hurt if your spouse died. I mentioned in my earlier post about my divorce that I don't know what to do with my memories. I got married at 21 and have been married my entire adult life. Every memory I have from adulthood includes Sam. We went through law school together, worked in Washington D.C. together. We got our first jobs, bought our first home and took vacations and trips together. We had four kids together. We experienced all of the excitement and hard times that goes along with that, together.

And I don't know what to do with those memories now that our marriage is over. It makes me feel like a part of me is gone. I am crying even as I type this because no one else will ever really know me the way Sam did. He has seen me at my very best and my very worst. He knows me so intimately and knows all the funny stories of my past. He was the witness to my life, so to speak. I worry that whoever I end up in the future, will only be getting a part of me..the current me. My history will be boxed up in photo albums and old blog posts. My future husband will never know the whole me.

I talked to my counselor about these feelings and for the first time since I started seeing her, she really didn't have any answers for me. She simply said, "that is one more thing to mourn."

But tonight, as I was doing dishes and listening to my ipod, Garth Brook's "The Dance" came on. As I was listening to the words, it made me realize that I'm glad I didn't know the way it all would end with Sam. I'm grateful for the 13 amazing years we spent together. I'm happy that I was able to have a best friend and lover in my life and even though the time has come that we have to go our separate ways, I am grateful we had "the dance." I don't regret marrying Sam. We had something special. And it's okay to be sad that it's over.

As for the memories, I don't know. Hopefully, with time, I will make sense of all of it. That part of my life still made me who I am today. So even if the past is tainted a bit by my present situation, it isn't gone.

"Our lives are better left to chance. I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance. Video here:

http://www.veoh.com/watch/v18764241fqS6FyPC

Girl's Day

2012-01-14T22:03:00.000-08:00

Sammie and I spent all day together running errands, getting my eyebrows waxed, shopping, etc. I have said it before but I will say it again. She is God's gift to my world. I love my boys more than I can express (they are my three lovey-dovey snuggly boyfriends who say "I love you mom" and kiss me all day long.) But Sammie is different. She isn't lovey dovey and isn't quick to hug. You have to earn her affection. But today as we were walking down the mall, she took my hand and it made my heart leap.

She cracked me up all day talking about how this was a "girls' day" and how she can't wait for our girls' trip we are taking this week with my mom and my sis-in-law and neice. She mentioned that on our girl trip we aren't going to eat any boy food. We are only going to eat girl food like salads.

I had to run my ipad into the Apple store to get it fixed. Don't get me started on the workers in there...that is a post for another day..WOW. Basically my little boys have ruined the area on my ipad where you plug the charger in. On the way home, Sammie said "When they grow up and get ipads, you need to go to their houses and ruin their chargers...that is what I call PAYBACK." What the? Scary right?

Anyhoo, she is so fun. I am so excited to have the same kind of relationship with my daughter that I have with my mom. Speaking of my mom, Linda would have been proud with Sammie's shopping stamina today...Five hours on her feet going from store to store...that's my girl!

Backhanded Compliment

2012-01-13T23:34:00.000-08:00

After my barbell class at the gym today, a girl approached me and said "I loved standing behind you in class."

I wasn't sure what she was getting at, but I was sure a compliment was coming...maybe she loved my outfit, maybe she thought I had great form and liked following me, maybe she even thought I had a great caboose.

Nope. None of those. She said "I loved standing behind you because I knew I wasn't the whitest person in the class." She then walked away.

Thanks...I guess.

It's Just A Phase I'm Going Through

2012-01-10T15:04:00.000-08:00

I got bangs. The day after I said I never would. Never say never right? I went to see my hairdresser Holly today and it was the perfect storm of 1) having admired Rachel's bangs on the Bachelor last night 2) Holly suggested that I get bangs and assured me they would be cute and 3) I have nothing else to lose. Seriously though, when you go through big life changing stuff, hair just doesn't seem like a big deal...even bad hair.

So i took the plunge and I kind of like them and I kind of hate them and will probably only have them for two months and then I will be sick of them because that's how I roll. I go back and forth between feeling sassy and feeling totally frumpy/mommish. What do you think? Here is a before picture I took of myself a few days ago for my profile pic for facebook:

Sammie just told me "They look nasty but no offense."

Weekend Review

2012-01-08T20:58:00.000-08:00

It is Sunday night and I had to Become Bobby to get the kids to help me pick up the house..aka Thunder dome after the weekend. It wasn't pretty and I hate getting like that but the mess makes me crazy.

The highlights of the weekend:

Friday evening my wonderful in-laws brought us Zupas for dinner. Food is my love language and it was delicious.

We woke up to a beautiful blanket of snow (finally!) Saturday morning. I have such a love hate relationship with the white stuff and by love hate I mean mostly hate. My kids dragged out the snow clothes and I spent 20 minutes getting them ready to go out:

Buster did this after they went out until I went and found him some snow clothes:

yes..those are bells on my front door...Christmas is in full swing around here...haven't got the decor down yet..sue me.)

All I could find was Sammie's old pink snowsuit. I think he makes a pretty little princess though:

Saturday afternoon I went to lunch with my friends Mandee and Katie at Hagerman's. Yum. Turkey Pomodoro, tomato bisque, diet coke. I decided to forgo the sugar cookie in a moment of complete restraint and then wished I had gotten it the rest of the day.

After lunch, I headed to Nordstrom to check out a new uniform. My friend Susan called me a few days ago to tell me she found my next uni. And let me say, I do understand what this says about my wardrobe to have a friend feel compelled to call when she finds a really exquisite sweat suit. She was right. It was everything I've ever wanted in a uni and it was on sale. Hallelujah! So cute. Check it out here:

It is Zella brand. If you want to order it, go to your local Nordstrom and they can order it in your size. They only have the xl online.

Saturday evening I took my kids swimming at my gym pool with Susan and we saw my friend Kami there with her kids. It was really fun. We hit In N Out burger on the way home and it made me grateful all over again for fun friends who help me be a fun mom who does fun things cause it's a lot easier to go do fun things with a mama friend in tow.

Sunday was church at 11 and we still managed to be late. This was supposed to be my year to be on time because of the later church but no dice. Every week I feel like a hero just for getting there with everyone dressed and fed. After church, my kids came home, stripped down, cranked up the Lady Gaga on my ipad, and had a dance party. They crack me up. Yes...check out that mess...swweeeeet.

That's real life folks. And it's finally clean. I should be taking down Christmas right now. Do me a solid and don't come to my house until Valentine's..it should be down by then!

Thank You

2012-01-04T12:34:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

The above picture is of me and my kids at the happiest place on earth. At the risk of sounding totally cheesy, whenever I am with them, I am still at the happiest place on earth. I am so lucky to have them. I have never felt alone even once in this process because I am surrounded by these four darling, fun, energetic kids. I am a lucky mama!

I am overwhelmed with all of the emails, text messages, facebook messages, phone calls and comments on my blog. I feel so loved and supported. I didn't even know I had 44 readers, let alone, that many people who cared enough to leave super nice comments. The only time I have received more comments is when I did that controversial post about home births and people came out of the woodwork to rip me...so this was a big improvement!

Most of you were probably coming over yesterday to read a Bachelor recap. I wanted to do it but the divorce has just been consuming my thoughts and I knew I couldn't give the recap the attention it deserved. Luckily for you, my friend Greg picked up the torch and did an awesome recap over on his blog. Go here if you watched the Bachelor (and even if you didn't!)

Please be patient with me if you have sent a message and I haven't responded yet. I will get to you! It is probably inevitable that I will talk more about my divorce on my blog..probably more along the lines of surviving a divorce and moving forward. But this blog will remain first and foremost about all the stuff that really matters like shopping and celebrity gossip and my crazy mothering. Maybe even some fun dating stories if that day ever comes..Heaven help me!!

Thanks again. I have the best blog readers in the land. XOXO

Brooke

New Year, New Life

2012-01-03T11:24:00.000-08:00

Without a doubt this last year and a half has been the hardest time of my life. I don't know how to lead up to what I am about to say so I will just say it. My marriage is ending. Sam and I are getting divorced. I know that for many of you, this will come as a total shock. It still seems surreal to me on so many levels. I never ever thought I would be someone who would get divorced...that is something that happens to other people. I even remember assuring my children a couple years ago when they asked what divorce was, that Sam and I would never get divorced. Never say never.

I will not be sharing the details of why we are getting divorced here out of respect to Sam and our children. But I will say that I will always love Sam and I truly believe we will always be friends. He is a fantastic father and his children mean the world to him. I am proud of the life we had and the children that we are raising together. And speaking of our kids, by far and a way, the hardest part of divorce is trying to explain to our children why dad is moving out when they have never seen us fight or even argue. My children are heartbroken but are doing amazingly well for the most part.

I have learned so much through this trial in my life. It is so cliche to say but it is true that our trials refine us. This experience has changed me into a stronger, more compassionate, deeper person..the person Heavenly Father wanted and needed me to be. I am convinced that while Heavenly Father didn't want this for our family, he knew that this was the only way for me to grow in that way. My testimony is stronger, I have more confidence in myself and my abilities and quite frankly, I have seen miracles this year with my children and in my home. I know my Savior Jesus Christ on a more intimate level and His Atonement means so much more to me now.

I also have grown so close to my family and I can honestly say I would not have survived this last year and a half without their unwavering support and love. I am so lucky to have them. Ashley has given me hundreds of hours of free therapy. Sam's family is wonderful too and have been very supportive of both of us as well. I also have the most incredible friends. People who love me even when I am not funny or even all that fun to be around.

I know the path ahead is not going to be easy. I still have some really dark days. I was doing really well for a long time and some days now I feel like I am right back to where I started. My therapist tells me grief is cyclical and I am mourning the death of my marriage and the life I thought I was going to have. Sometimes, I think I am doing fine and then something completely small and insignificant will put me over the top. It is especially hard for me to look at old photographs and videos of our family. I don't know what to do with my memories of the last 13 years. I had such a happy marriage. And while I am grateful for that, it also makes this whole thing harder in a lot of ways.

The great news for me is that I get to stay in our home and I don't have to go back to work. It is a priority for Sam to have me stay home with our kids and he wants to keep providing for us and wants our lives to stay the same. He is a good person and I am so grateful that we get along and still do things together with our children. We spent a lot of time together over the holidays and I am happy that he will still be in my life.

I remember telling a friend that I was getting divorced a couple months ago. She looked at me and said "What are you going to DO?" and repeated it several times completely frantic. I just looked at her and said "Probably get up tomorrow morning, get my kids breakfast, put my shoes on, take them to school, go to the gym...." Life goes on. The point is to not let this break me. I can go to bed and be sad for months or I can just pick up the pieces and keep going forward. I know there are good things to come...brighter days ahead. I know that. And I am excited to see what this new year will hold for me and my kids.

Could You Love Him?

2012-01-01T23:40:00.000-08:00

Now that the season is about to start..I have been asking myself if I could make a little room in my heart for a caveman. I don't know ladies. I'm just not feeling it. But come talk to me mid February and I may be singing a different tune. I did fall for Jason Mesnick for like five minutes.

I am excited because one of the dates will be happening in Park City, Utah..pretty close to my hometown. And, Chris Harrison is promising this season will be like no other....

The finale kicks off tonight. Could you love Ben?

Update: I watched the show last night and couldn't bring myself to recap it. I just don't care. There was so much drama and crying and over the top nonsense...I had so much to say and then I sat down and didn't feel like saying any of it. I am going to keep watching..maybe I will do a recap later in the season. Feel free to comment on last night's show here. Why does SLC always deliver the crazy people?!

Go Elf Yourself!

2011-12-24T14:22:00.000-08:00

I wish each of you a very Merry Christmas!

Best of Christmas 2011

2011-12-23T21:08:00.000-08:00

I know Christmas isn't even here yet but I know you don't want to read about all this stuff come Dec 26th. And instead of doing a post for each of these activities, I am condensing it all into a single post. Consider it an early Christmas present from me to you!

Best Yearly tradition: Seeing the lights from a trolley at Thanksgiving Point. This year we did it twice with two different groups of family members. Mama doesn't do the cold...so the lights at Temple Square are out. And Thanksgiving Point has real reindeer!

Best Mom of the Year moment: Throwing a gingerbread house party for Sammie's friends. She invited five friends over to decorate tiny gingerbread houses (purchased at Bed Bath and Beyond for $9.99!) We also played games and had lunch and these little girls couldn't have been cuter.

Best Party that never happened: Luke's cub scout den party at our home. The other leader's son got the stomach flu and we had to cancel...no tears here!

Best breakfast we will never do again: Breakfast with Santa at Thanksgiving Point. Apparently, I didn't learn my lesson last year. Crowded and overpriced for a mediocre breakfast. Next year, I am taking my kids to our gym's breakfast with Santa that is catered by Kneaders!

Best activity that sounds good in theory but is a massive pain in the butt: Festival of Trees:

Best big baby/boyfriend a mom could ask for: Buster in the boots he refused to take off. He only has two words..ball and "Ho Ho Ho." He says it everytime he sees a Santa.

Best Stage Mom Moment: Watching Sammie's small dance performance and dying at how cute she was.

Best escape from Christmas craziness: Jury duty. I was summoned the week before Christmas and had to call in each night to see if I had to appear. Sure enough, I had to go in Wednesday morning. Is it wrong that I enjoyed dressing up (yes, I'm old school and can't enter a courtroom without wearing slacks and a cardigan. I had to resist the urge to wear a blazer!)

I must have a face that says "Please stranger..tell me your life story as you scoot your chair one inch from mine." The guy next to me (rides motorcycles, hates policeman, has been called to jury duty 4 times in the past two years and lives less than a mile from my house)...he told me all of this with a toothpick hanging out of his mouth. I was scared to death he was going to ask to exchange email addresses.

Best Free activity: Sam's boss' annual Christmas party at his home. Joe Morley's BBQ for the adults, Chic fil a for the kids and an appearance by Santa who brings a nice gift for each child...my kids live for this.

Best grandma activity: tie between making gingerbread houses and baking cut out cookies for Santa.

Best Girls' Night out: Gourmet Dinner Night/gift exchange at Jaime's house..fabulous food, hilarious conversation.

Best trip: Luke and Sam's boys' trip to San Francisco to see the Steelers play the 49ers. The miracle is, I haven't heard Sam mention the Pomp and Pageantry of Monday Night Football even once. But I have heard about all the fun stuff they did...Alcatraz, the Aquarium, NFL training camp for Luke, and I am happy for them!

I am not even mentioning the school parties I helped with, the ward Christmas party and the many other small activites. It is a wonderful time of year, and by wonderful, I mean crazy hairy busy!

My Life in Triage Mode

2011-12-22T21:22:00.001-08:00

Do you ever feel like you are in "triage mode?" That is when all you do is put out fires and stay one step ahead of the next emergency.

I know my life is in triage mode when:

I am at Harmon's grocery store searching for a gift for our piano teacher 15 minutes before she gets to my house.

I let the house go to hell in a hand basket.

Mr. Peeks (our version of the Elf on the Shelf) hasn't been hid in two weeks...no one notices.

My car is so dirty that my kids are disgusted and beg me to wash it.

I am at the store at 11:30 at night in my uni looking for gingerbread houses for a party I am throwing the next morning at 10:00 am.

All of the clean laundry is still in baskets waiting to be folded and we have to "go fish" to find underwear or a pair of socks. I am just happy that there is clean laundry.

We are eating Little Caesars for lunch and dinner and lunch again.

I mix up the tags on the gifts for the primary teachers and don't even bother to call and apologize.

I am ten minutes late for EVERYTHING.

I am texting babysitters at stoplights and making all of my phone calls in the car.

I am running into my house and back out again 15 times a day.

I find a rump roast in the trunk of my car that has been there for two weeks....thank goodness for the cold.

I don't have time to read the newsletters that come with my friends' Christmas cards.

I am summoned for jury duty and have to appear. I am actually grateful for the diversion from the craziness at home.

Getting to the gym every day feels like One.More.Thing.

Christmas is exhausting.

Anyone else in triage mode right now?

Three Pairs of Fuggs and a Partridge in a Pear Tree

2011-12-17T22:36:00.000-08:00

Real Uggs

What are Fuggs you ask?

They are Fake Uggs. But they are also called Fuggs because they are fugly. Up until this point, I have never had a need for Fuggs in my life. But today something changed. And for the record, I don't for one minute think these are cute. They are fugtastic beyond words. But I need a pair, just the same.

You see, I go to spinning once a week at the gym, where I change into spinning shoes and in the summer I wear flip flops to and from the gym on those days. In the winter, I would love a pair of cozy boots to slip on my bare feet and not put back on my Nikes. Ditto for pilates class.

The Fuggs will also go nicely with my uni on cold winter mornings when I drive the carpool to school.

So I brought home three pairs of Fuggs to compare. I can really smother a project like this. I spent 30 minutes with Buster in DSW trying on everything they had to offer. Then I went to Famous Footwear and finished at Payless.

DSW's best:

Famous Footwears' best (I would wear them all the way up without the fur showing):

Payless' best:

I am leaning toward the Famous Footwear pair because they are an inch taller in the shaft and a little less bulky and fugtastic. I am just a bit worried that the sole might not hold up to the snow. They almost seem like a slipper sole. Behold:

Plus, I got them for a mere 20 bucks after working the kid over at the register with three different coupons.

Okay ladies, what say you of Fuggs? Do you all own them? Do you think they are as fugly as I do? Do I need a better sole? Before I wear them outside..is there another brand I need to consider? Talk to me.

Sweet Ride

2011-12-17T22:28:00.000-08:00

I saw this car in the Walmart parking lot today

If you look closer, there are nude figures doing various "deeds" all over the vehicle.

I seriously stopped in my tracks and checked out the entire thing. Then I whipped out my camera and grabbed a couple photos. Then I saw a dude sitting in the passenger seat and got the heck outta there.

Who does this to their car? Unbelievable.

Proof I Have Lost My Mind

2011-12-14T20:46:00.000-08:00

All of this happened in a 72 hour window:

1. I left my purse at Sam's boss' house after his Christmas party. I was too busy enjoying all the fun stuff like launching these huge lanterns:

2. I completely spaced that Ryan had preschool yesterday...took him to the gym with me. Didn't even remember that I had forgotten it until last night.

3. I was helping the kids wrap presents for each other and put a gift for Sammie into a medium sized (fairly flat) box. The present wasn't cheap for being relatively small. I gave the gift to Ryan to carry upstairs. A mere minute later, I saw him playing and he didn't know where the gift was. We searched for THREE HOURS. I was going out of my mind and trying not to beat him. We finally found the gift behind the door right where he was playing. Why didn't I think to look there before I tore apart my entire house?

My naughty little helper:

4. I took Buster to a well child dr appt yesterday afternoon. When I got there, the receptionist told me they had no record of him having an appt that day.

Awesome photo of Buster with Santa:

5. I made a batch of chocolate chip cookies with Ryan and burned the entire thing. That's what you get for having a double oven and putting cookies in both ovens and forgetting to set the timer. We are still eating them.

6. I drove to Gourmet Dinner night last night and forgot my camera. Turned around and drove all the way back home to get it just because I wanted this picture:

7. I forgot to pick up Luke's friend today for scouts. I drive this kid every week. I had to go back home and get him (15 minutes late!)\

8. I prepared everything to put a roast into the crockpot and then couldn't find the roast. I knew I had purchased it at the grocery store the day before.

Impressive right? Someone please tell me they are as brain dead as I am right now. I am hoping it is a combination of Christmas and some other stressful stuff going on in my life. I am too young for this!

Holiday Home Tour

2011-12-06T12:49:00.000-08:00

Come on in! I've been waiting for you...Here is your hot chocolate...let's take the tour! I know you think you've see all this before..but not so fast...I got some new balls on my Xmas tree! and I am desperate for a new blog post.

Let's start in the living room with my tree....no one lays a finger on this tree. I don't even like my kids looking at this tree. Buster already broke one of the ornaments this year.

A close up:

And if you turn to the left you will see my entry decor.. My mom bought these knitted stockings for me last year. I love them:

Now, into the family room where we have the...wait for it...family tree! My kids help me decorate it. Don't look too close. I had to appease my children with the PBK stockings.

Check out these big balls...hehe. I found them at Taipan. I obviously have a thing for red and white polka dots. These balls were sold out and I had to drive to Orem to get them. Truth be known, I would have driven a lot further..I love them so much.

And turn around. What is that? My hutch. Probably my favorite piece of furniture. I try to cluster my Santa stuff here:

In the kitchen, I have my Xmas plates:

And candy jars (these are my only claim to fame..they have been pinned thousands of times on pinterest:

One of my favorite things about this season is displaying the cards from family and friends:

Let's go back to Sammie's room. Remember this candy tree? I am anal about it because it is flocked and it loses more flocking each year. I used my lamanze breathing and let her help decorate it.

Back to my bedroom..this is where the magic happens.. (I hate how they always always say that on MTV cribs...get a new line!) Just kidding. We're not going in my messy bedroom.

Let's go into the boy's room. The sports tree. Ryan decorated this one:

And finally out front. You saw my elaborate Halloween display (wink wink) I decided to keep it simple for Christmas. My sole piece of outside decor:

And my new star wreath..waiting for my friend Heidi to come adorn it with ribbon..hint hint.

And of course, my favorite thing in my house...these four! Their excitement about Christmas is palpable. Ryan talks non stop about reindeer, Santa, and elves. I love it.

Now I am coming over for a tour of your house. Don't stress, I will let myself in. Just leave the Fernwood mints out on the table!

First Demi and Ashton and Now This...

2011-12-06T12:30:00.000-08:00

I never saw it coming. Ali and Roberto are splitting up. Why do I ever think it's going to work? And to make matters worse, I'm about to have a caveman for my bachelor.

My Trip to Visit Ashley

2011-11-26T08:00:00.000-08:00

I returned home from my trip to visit Ashley on Sunday evening. Here it is Thursday and I am finally blogging about it. Re-entry to the grind was hard. I am still doing laundry and battling a nasty head cold. But it was all worth it.

The trip was anything but relaxing. She lives in the Bay Area and there is a lot to do. Ashley had us booked every minute and I never knew from one minute to the next where we were headed. But she is a great hostess and I had a blast.

Here is what was waiting for me on her bed (we sleep together when I come!)

There are movie passes there, warm socks, trashy mag, and an assortment of other goodies. When she comes to my place, she is lucky to find a clean towel.

Here are the highlights of the trip:

The Eating:

The meals are a big deal for me and Ash. This time we shared almost every entree so we both felt better about eating out for every meal. This trip wasn't quite the binge fest that we've done in the past..but the food was still delightful. We ate at a place called Xanh with the Mostess (Kaari) and another friend from the blogging world, Kristine. The food was to die for. Here we are outside the restaurant:

We went straight from dinner to see Moneyball..fantastic.

We also got to go to lunch with one of Ashley's old bosses who we are friends with on Facebook. He is hilarious and he definitely entertained us. We ate at an Italian restaurant in a shi shi little area of town called Santana Row. Ashley and I outside the restaurant:

We also ate at our beloved CPK (where the waiter thought we were twins. We got that A LOT on this trip). We also ate at Chevy's. We split the fajitas and Ashley admitted to me she has never had fajitas before...what the?

We made a short trip into San Francisco and ate at Boudin Bakery in the basement of the big Macy's there. We were impressed with this new diet coke fountain machine that makes your diet coke to order with lime, orange, cherry, etc...snazzy.

The Shopping:

Ashley and I did a ton of shopping. That's what we do. I won't bore you with all the stores we went to but we did find 40% off at nearly every one of them. Ashley was completely bugged by this. "Oh look! Another 40% off sale..no way!"

Here we are in one of our favorite stores..can you tell where we are?:

I love the Container store's Christmas gift wrap section..so festive:

Ashley spent her time looking for a brown cardigan to go with some brown riding boots she is getting. I teased her the whole trip about how the brown boots are a mistake and she will call me in a month and tell me as much.

Here I am in my favorite store WHBM. I shopped so long they had to bring me water:

Ashley did find this awesome canvas in TJ Maxx for above her bed. I have to admit I was horribly jealous of it and was trying to think of any way I could to buy a matching one and take it home with me....but no dice.

Activities:

Hot stone pedicures: These are the bomb ladies. We went on a rainy day and I loved being in a cozy place getting a pedicure.

The Temple: Ash and i did a session at the Oakland temple. It was nice and I felt better about all of our shopping. I also went to church with her for all three hours on Sunday so that should count for something.

It was just really fun to have all that time to chat with Ashley. Everytime I am with her, I am reminded what a good person she is. Plus, we laugh a lot and she just gets me. I can't wait for our next trip.

A very hearty thank you to my mom and dad, Sam and Tyler, who made this trip possible!

Thankful

2011-11-24T20:17:00.000-08:00

Our family usually goes out to dinner for Thanksgiving (yeah..we're weird) but this year, my mom cooked dinner at her house (everyone helped with something) and it was really relaxing and nice. We fed the kids first and then sent them downstairs to watch a movie. The adults got to eat their meal in peace and then we all hung out around the fire and chatted and ate pie, etc.

On this day of gratitude, I just want to say how grateful I am for my family. My friends are always always telling me how lucky I am to have my mom (she deserves her own post!) but I am grateful for the rest of my family too. I am so lucky to be surrounded by such loving, fun, supportive people. I am also grateful for Sam. He is a great dad and he does so much to help me. Sam has a wonderful family too and I'm grateful for them as well. My kids are the joy of my life and make me a happy lady.

Here are some photos of our Thanksgiving dinner (I wish I would have taken my good camera..these photos are the worst...and I apologize for not getting any photos of the menfolk.)

These are the placecard turkeys my mom made with the kids a few days before the big day:

My obnoxious boys:

Sweetness:

Ashley and my mom hovering over the bird..I wish I had gotten an action shot of everyone in the kitchen working on their different assignments:

My mom with Ashley's boys:

My sis-in-law Katie made these darling candy turkeys for the kids to eat for dessert:

Look at Buster's face..can you tell he loves Katie:

Okay..now onto Christmas. I put up my tree this morning!

Leaving on a Jet Plane

2011-11-16T18:23:00.000-08:00

Doesn't that song make you miss John Denver?...may he rest in peace.

Tomorrow morning, I am getting on a plane to go visit my sister Ashley for a weekend of eating, shopping, eating, pedicures, eating, movies, meeting up with friends and did I mention eating? It has been nearly two years since I went down to see her (though she comes here a lot.) I am so excited.

Thank you to Sam and my mom for making this trip possible. I think they know my sanity depends on it.

In the meantime, check out some of my new (to me) favorite blogs:

http://www.designtimesfour.com/. This is written by my very talented, fashionable friend Andrea and her uber talented husband. They both cook, redo furniture (I have no idea what the correct term for this is) and have the most stylish modern home. Check it out..they post almost daily.

http://www.maryromney.com/. This blog is written by one of Mitt Romney's daughter-in-laws. I may or may not have a small crush on Mitt. If you do too, you will love this blog. The daughter-in-law, Mary, has amazing taste and you get a glimpse into their very fun life. Go Mitt 2012!

http://www.ablogaboutlove.com/. This blog is about love, divorce, forgiveness, infertility and life in New York. It is written by a husband wife duo (it is a second marriage for both of them.) I love their happy love story and their optimistic outlook on life. If you are going through a divorce, or struggling with anything really, this blog will appeal to you.

Enjoy! I will be back soon with a full report!

Which Brad Do You Prefer?

2011-11-11T08:29:00.001-08:00

I am dying to see Moneyball while it is still in the theater. Has anyone seen it? Is it worth my time? Generally, anything with Brad Pitt is worth my time.

My sister Ashley just saw Moneyball and gave it the thumbs up. That doesn't mean the movie is good. It just means Brad was good.

The tricky thing is, sometimes Brad can be totally hot in a movie..think A River Runs Through It:

and Ocean's Eleven:

(gratuitous photo of George!)

and sometimes he can be on the edge of nasty..think Legends of the Fall:

Angelina has not done good things for that man.

I much preferred him in his Jennifer Aniston days.

How cute were their his and hers highlights?

I guess I just prefer a more clean cut Brad:

Damn Baby!

This one, I have no use for:

Which Brad do you prefer? And if you don't prefer Brad, please refrain from bagging on him in your comments. This blog is a bagging on Brad free zone.

11 Things on 11/11/11

2011-11-11T08:14:00.000-08:00

1. I met a guy at my gym's spooktacular who told me I look just like Keesha. I had no idea who he was talking about. I went home and googled her and found stuff that looked a lot like pOrn. Unfortunately, I kind of see the resemblance:

2.I am almost done Christmas shopping for my kids. I love shopping for them because they are so easy to please and I know just what they would love. This time of year, I have this neurotic condition where if I buy anything...(think underwear or a clock radio) for one of my kids, I have to fight to urge to save it for Christmas. Anyone else have this problem?

3. Buster is finally taking steps....not walking. But this is not nothing people! The kid is 18 and 1/2 months old and heavier than a load of bricks. He is one lazy mother and I didn't think he would ever turn the corner.

4. Snapfish has the best customer service on the planet. I don't know whether to be proud or ashamed to admit that I have called them twice in the past week to get price adjustments for various things. Both times, I spoke to some guy in India who I could barely understand but both times the dude totally hooked me up...yesterday I got $19.99 in shipping refunded to my account just because I called and asked him to do it.

5. I am the proud owner of a new yellow handbag! Thanks mom. Isn't it cute?!

6. I've got my eye on a Shellac UV nail dryer on Amazon for about 50 bucks. If I bought my own Shellac polish, I could do my own manicures and save a ton of cash. It usually costs 2o bucks to get a shellac manicure and that is if you are getting a Groupon deal and it doesn't include anything except getting your nails painted. So my friend Lisa recommended buying my own dryer and doing it myself...what do we think folks?

7. Are flower headbands still in style for adult women? I am guessing no. I was going to wear this to the Spootacular and then felt silly in it. These headbands are much cuter on Sammie.

8. I love Tiny Prints Christmas cards. This year, their selection of cards are colorful, modern and original. You will pay more, but they are the cutest. I went with Snapfish this year (thanks for the free shipping Rashan!) but I still think Tiny Prints are #1.

9. Ryan recently went on a field trip to a fire station with his preschool where they each got to hold the hose and knock down orange cones with the water. This was heaven for a little boy who is obsessed with being a fireman.

10. I love Fall and this year was no different. I love the leaves on the ground before they get raked. I wish it could be fall year round. Notice Luke is in his cub scout uni. I am his Akaela...for those of you not down with cub scout lingo..that is his leader. Shoot me now. I am trying to learn to love it.

11. Is it totally tacky to return a giganto unopened bag of candy to Costco? Good, because I am doing that today. The alternative is that I will eat the whole damn thing before Thanksgiving.

American Soldier

2011-11-11T07:21:00.000-08:00

On Veteran's Day, I always think of my Grandpa Poole...a great American Soldier. I have talked about him before on my blog. He served in World War II and was captured by the Japanese and forced on the Bataan Death March. He was a prisoner of war for 3 1/2 years and endured all kinds of suffering and starvation. When he was finally rescued at the end of the war. He came home to lead a quiet, humble life as a mailman.

Miraculously, he was able to forgive his tormentors and carried no hatred in his heart. It was only in his last few years that he spoke of his time as a POW and his war experiences. Yet, he always spoke of his love of this country and what it meant to him to serve and fight for our freedom. He is a true hero. He died last March and Mitchell (Buster) was born the next month. Mitchell's middle name is Harold after my grandpa.

Please take a minute today to think of all of those who have served and continue to serve out country so courageously. Many made the ultimate sacrifice and I am so grateful for them today.

One of my favorite videos:

http://youtu.be/DWrMeBR8W-c

My Mini-Me

2011-11-09T12:43:00.000-08:00

There is no question that Sammie is her mother's daughter. Here is why:

Like me, she hates pain. Her front tooth has been dangling for the last few days. Everyone has wanted to yank it out. She has been such a baby about it...holding a tissue on it, not eating, crying. FINALLY, the tooth came out at school yesterday.

She is waaaay too smart for mythical things like the tooth fairy. She went and got in my wallet and told me she was making change for a fiver because she has lost two teeth.

She is constantly asking in a very loud voice in front of her three brothers whether Santa is real. She is a born cynic. And Sammie, since I know you are reading my blog, he is!

She is all about going shopping with me and getting new clothes. She alternates between two backpacks at school just because she gets bored. Since the poor kid wears a uniform to school every day, her life is all about accessories and shoes. I indulge her.

She is always reading blogs on my ipad or texting Sam with my phone. Where does she get it?

She has no self-control when it comes to presents. I especially relate to this one. When I was a kid, I would find the xmas presents no matter how crafty and sneaky my parents got. I remember one year standing on a ladder on top of my dad's car to get into a box on the top shelf of the garage where all the presents were. I was also known to unwrap things and re wrap them before xmas. Sammie is getting an American Girl doll that looks like her for xmas from my mom and dad. It got delivered to my house and she wouldn't rest until she got a peek at it. I was completely beaten down from a day of badgering and she finally got my mom to show it to her.

She is constantly doing cartwheels, performing dance routines and various tricks in the house. I mean constantly. It makes me batty until I remember doing the same thing down the grocery store aisle or doing pirouettes in my mom's kitchen. Last night, Sammie insisted on performing the entire first grade program for me including all of the dances she is not in. It was my greatest achievement in patience as a mother.

So there you have it. I love that sassy girl but I understand now what I put my parents through. Mom, I'm sorry!

Magic Pants Revisited

2011-11-09T11:27:00.000-08:00

Apparently, I only own one top...sorry. The ridiculous side pose is so you can see the back pockets.

I bought my five pocket leggings at Gap today with the Friends and Family pass. They let us super important, super classy, Gap Silver card holders in a day early. Don't be jealous.

These pants are the bomb diggity. I love that the leggings are a little thicker and have the pockets in case my sweater creeps up and my bum is out there in all of it's jiggly glory.

I wish they came in a long, which they don't. But I plan to wear them with tall boots or black booties when I want to dress them up...what? You don't dress up leggings? I do!

Anyhoo, please go get them. You will love them! You can copy this image and print it out and take it to a Gap store:

ps. Thank you for all of your comments and suggestions on the grey boots. I am still fasting and praying about them...I'm kidding. But I did order the boots Greg suggested and I am waiting to compare. I will keep you posted!

pss. White House Black Market (my favorite store of all time) is having a friends and family sale that starts tomorrow..20% off. Leave me a comment with your email if you want in and I will forward it to you. I got the sweater I am wearing in the picture above there.

These Boots Are Made For Walkin'...

2011-11-04T21:38:00.000-07:00

The question for you is...should I be walkin' them right back to the store?

Yes, I know there is way too much flash in this picture and I am wearing two different boots. Stay with me. It will all make sense in a minute.

I loooove my tall black boots. I wear them daily.

I have been wanting a pair of grey boots for sometime but I'm not sure these are the ticket. These are Madden Girl and on the cheap side. They are trendy and may only work for this season. They are also really big around the calf. I may be able to live with it because they are comfortable. Be brutally honest. Do I just stick with my black ones or do you like the grey as well? Do I need a different pair of grey ones?

Another photo of them for your consideration:

Or I could buy them in a short version:

And now for the magic pants I have been telling you about. I love leggings. (To me, they are elegant sweats.) I sometimes have tops (like the one pictured above) that cover my bum but just barely. So I wanted some leggings that had pockets and look like skinny jeans. Enter BR's five pocket legging. This picture does not do them justice.

They are thick and a tiny tiny bit looser than leggings. In fact, I plan to wear them with short sweaters as well and dress them up like nice black pants (with a skinny fit.) Give them a try. You can tuck them into boots or wear them with a pump or ankle boot. And Banana is having a 30% off sale on all women's full price apparel through tomorrow night.

Update: I have turned my back on the BR leggings. I can't do dry clean only and I think they may be a tad loose through the knee and calf area. So I now have my sights set on the Gap's version of the same pant. I have a Friends and Family for 40% off at the Gap starting Thursday. Email me if you want in on that.

To my male readers..both of you...stop laughing at me.

Colbert is my Hero

2011-11-04T21:05:00.000-07:00

Generally, if you are interested in politics, business, social movements, you don't come to this here blog. You come here for shopping, celebrity gossip and general craziness. But if you have been following the Occupy Wall Street movement at all or even if you haven't, you need to watch this clip from the Colbert show:

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

Just When You Thought You Had Seen All of our Halloween Pictures...

2011-10-31T20:41:00.000-07:00

A few more from the big day:

I have never been so happy to see November 1st!

You Know It's Halloween...

2011-10-31T08:01:00.000-07:00

when you are pulling through McD's for a huge Diet Coke before 8:00 in the morning.

Here's to all the moms putting on cheesy costumes and heading to school today to help with parties. We are good people.

*this morning when I told Ryan he couldn't have candy for breakfast, he told me to "keep an open mind." What the?

Happy Halloween Friends!

High Maintenance Halloween

2011-10-30T21:58:00.000-07:00

I condensed Halloween this year all into one action-packed high-maintenance week. Here is what we did:

I took my kids to our ward Trunk or Treat: It was obscenely cold. I don't do cold. That is why I gave up skiing. We lasted thirty minutes and I called it quits.

It pains me to not have them coordinate in any way. Luckily, tomorrow I am helping at Sammie's Halloween party in a matching poodle girl outfit.

We made Halloween cut-out cookies:

I wore this get up to help at Ryan's Halloween party:

I know this is a recycled picture but trust me, I looked exactly the same this year. Ryan wanted to be a pirate for his preschool party (I forgot his sash):

I made freezer jam. This has nothing to do with Halloween but I have to brag about it. Forget the fact that it is easier than a batch of cookies. I feel so domestic making jam! I'm a homemaker for crying out loud!

I took my kids to our gym's Spooktacular. It was awesome. This year was a Harry Potter theme which thrilled Luke. Here he is with some dude dressed as Hagrid:

My gym doesn't do anything half-way. Here is part of the buffet table:

And live owl. I just loooove owls:

Luke and Sammie loved doing the climbing wall in costume:

Saturday afternoon, I took a much needed break and saw Footloose with Mandee.

I loved the original so I was surprised at how much I loved the new one as well. They do a good job of updating the original and yet keeping some of the things that made the original so good. And the new kid that plays Ren McCormick reminds me of Kevin Bacon. I may or may not have an inappropriate crush on him. Yes, I know I should be crushing on Dennis Quaid who plays Ariel's father. He is much closer to my same age. Bygones.

Back to Halloween.

Saturday evening, I hauled Luke's rotting pumpking back to the pumpkin patch and traded it for a new one. Then we carved pumpkins and by we, I mean Sam. Sam donned his orange shirt (way to be festive!) I sat in a big chair and looked at my ipad and yelled words of encouragement.

Check back for photos of Buster in his costume. On Saturday, I also found the world's best leggings...miracle magic pants I tell you. I will reveal them next week.

Happy Halloween Week!

2011-10-24T06:00:00.000-07:00

Buster's face kind of describes my feelings about Halloween this year. In the past, I have hit Halloween hard. We started early and did pumpkin patches, barnyard boos, and every Halloween party on the planet. Not this year. I am taking it easy. We only have one week until Halloween and we are going to do a few things but it is certainly a departure from years past. See here and here and here.

I did get my kids in their Halloween shirts and took them to our local pumpkin patch (which is just a guy's house with a million pumpkins and they're cheap!) to take the obligatory photos. My kids understand that they don't lay a finger on a wagon or a pumpkin until they have posed for the photos:

Stay tuned for the trunk or treat, school Halloween parties, my gym's Harry Potter Spootacular and Halloween night. I'm glad we are condensing it this year and gettin 'er done!

Dear Carson Kressley,

2011-10-19T14:34:00.001-07:00

Thank you for being the best star ever on Dancing with the Stars. You had a better attitude than 95% of the stars that go on that show. You were truly hilarious.

The American public are idiots for not voting for you. The show is dead to me now that it is left with the likes of David Arquette, Nancy Grace and Chaz freakin Bono.

And it is all the more unfair that you were sent packing right before Broadway week.

Your friend,

Brooke

Go Big or Go Home

2011-10-17T08:00:00.000-07:00

I am linking up today to my sister Ashley's porch display Spooktacular Specktacular. I decided to join at the last minute but that didn't stop me from pulling out the big guns.

Sam was totally cool with me painting the front door orange for the month:

I never forget the steps:

I went KA-RAZY with the pumpkins this year:

I loooove owls:

And here is what I put together for the yard at night:

If you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch!

Fall Favorites

2011-10-09T13:01:00.000-07:00

You wouldn't know it by the way I dress but I am a shopper. I enjoy the thrill of the hunt. I love to know what is out there. Here are my favorite things that I have picked up recently:

Caldrea Counter Top Cleaner Spray: This one is from Target..usually on an end cap in the cleaning section. I am a sucker for anything with orange scent..I find it invigorating. This stuff is a steal for around $5.99.

Black pencil skirt: While you are at Target (pronounced "Tar-jay") swing over to the jr's section and grab yourself a black Mossimo pencil skirt for $19.99. Honestly, best purchase I have made in a long time. My fashionista friend Nicole told us about them at GDN last year and we all ran to get them. When she speaks, we listen. They have them again this year. Trust me. Put it on and everyone will think you lost 10 pounds. And while you are at it, grab a Merona cardi. They are my favs. I promise the skirt is better in real life:

Sammie's new bow holder. This is supposed to be a pinboard from Pottery Barn Kids. I was looking for something like this forever to put all of her bows on and actually display (not something for the back of her door.) I was planning to make one and then had a "come to Jesus" with myself and knew I would never get around to it. Of course, I paid good money for this and then found it the next week at Down East. Bygones.

Spray Bottles instead of water guns. Hello. My friend Linde clued me into this a few weeks ago. Where has this been all my life. When Ryan has a friend over, I send them outside with a spray bottle and let them go to town spraying the swing set, bugs and each other. So much easier for little hands to use than big ole' water guns.

Snicker's Peanut Butter treats: My new addiction. Think of a Snickers mating with a Butterfinger. They make delicious babies.

Save Ferris Shirt: You all know my love of Mr. Ferris Bueller. I actually think Sam looks like him. Ashley sent this shirt for Buster and it makes me extremely happy. I believe she picked it up at Target as well.

Jamba Juice Strawberry Nirvana Smoothie: I hate to drink my calories but I make exceptions for this smoothie. This one is low cal and I have them add protein powder and immunity boost. My friend Greg drinks one when he feels like he is getting sick. I am a hypochondriac and always feel like I am getting sick. I am going to drink these babies all winter.

Mustard Yellow Sweater: I wear this thing like a uni. Everyone asks me where I got it. I actually picked up mine at Nordstrom. I throw it on over tees or anything really. I feel like it elevates my outfit. Now I am in the market for a mustard colored handbag. Let me know if someone sees a cute one.

Sammie's entire fall wardrobe: I love the changing of the seasons just so I can bust out the new duds. I spend more money on Sammie than the rest of us combined. It is an illness..but doesn't she look cute? I hope Sam is nodding. Outfit from Gymboree. I am obsessed with Janie and Jack's Bonjour black and white line. Love love love.

And for anyone with a girl...go to Costco and get their pettiskirts..this one has sparkles in it and is so cute for Halloween:

Okay..now it's your turn..what is your fall favorite item?

Halloween Dinner Night

2011-10-07T13:10:00.000-07:00

I hosted Gourmet Dinner Night at my house last night. As you know, when it is at my house, it is simply called "dinner night." I can't guarantee gourmet but I can guarantee a dinner of some sort. I have darling friends...see photo above. Lisa wasn't there yet and Liz couldn't come but there are nine of us in the group.

Since it is October, I decided to do soup, salad and bread sticks, since that seems like Halloween food to me. I have to admit, I am not wild about this soup and that should have been my first red flag in making it. But I pressed on. The soup was not good. It was Pasta Fagioli's from Olive Garden and it just did not turn out right. This always seems to happen to me on at least one item...unfortunately for my guests, last night it was the main course...

At least the table looked cute. I borrowed the candelabra from my mom (who has the world's cutest decorations and tableware.)

I put out the bubbly cauldron which is just a mist maker put into water that you can actually buy at Harmon's. It is one of the best Halloween purchases I have ever made.

We started with a Halloween punch (that I pulled from a Country Living magazine at Harmon's the night before). It kind of tasted like a apple cider with a kick. I liked it but it was nothing to write home about. I threw some plastic spiders in for good measure.

When I got home from Harmon's (our local grocery store) with the ingredients, I pulled out the Martinelli's and they had put it in its own brown bag...like I had just been to the liquor store and was going to be swigging it from the bottle in a park next to my shopping cart full of everything I own.

We had bruschetta from Harmon's (I love that place!)

and apples and caramel dip to start:

Then had a knock-off of the house salad at Smokey Mountain Pizza. My family loves this salad and we always eat it with pizza and Italian food.

I also served garlic Parmesan bread twists that I got from the cookbook "When Life Gives you Friends" that Ashley recently gave away on her blog. The bread twists were yummy and I will make those again. Here they are pre-cooked and before they had risen:

My piece de resistance was a made from scratch peach pie with ice cream...I got the pie crust recipe from my sis-in-law Sarah. She got it from a Lion House cookbook. I love that you can mix it in a Kitchen Aid Mixer. Most pie crusts require a pie cutter and they take forever but not this one.

I am totally relieved that it is over. I love this group of friends so much and love doing this every month because it forces us to get together but just don't love when it is my turn to host. Cooking stresses me out. With this group, the conversation is always a bit racy and I laugh really hard. We have been through a lot and I am so glad these girls are in my life.

Recipes:

I am sparing you from the soup.

Parmesan Garlic Bread Twists:

2 loaves frozen bread dough, thawed
1/2 cup butter, melted
1/2 t. garlic salt
Parmesan cheese

Thaw bread dough in the refrigerator overnight. Remove from frige 2 hours before you want to serve hot. Roll each loaf into 12x20" rectangle. Melt butter in a microwave safe bowl and add garlic salt. Cut dough into 1 inch strips (the short way). Dip each breadstick in buter and lay on large cookie sheet. Take two strips and twist together. Arrange on cookie sheet. Sprinkle with garlic salt and parmesan cheese. Let rise for one hour. Backe at 400 degrees 12-15 minutes, or until lightly browned on top.

Smoky Mountain Salad

lettuce (any kind will do)
mushrooms (sliced)
olives (sliced)
tomatoes (diced)
feta cheese

Buy dressing at Smokey Mountain Pizza and Pasta--the one in SLC is on 9400 South and Highland Dr.

Pie Crust (makes two crusts)

1/4 c butter
1/4 c margarine
1/3 cup shortening
1/3 cup lard (I don't go anywhere near lard...I just do 1/2 cup butter and 1/2 cup shortning)
1 Tbsp sugar
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 Tbsp nonfat dried milk (I never have this and it's fine)
3 cups flour
1/2 cup cold water

In mixer cream together fats and sugar, baking powder, salt and dried milk. Add half of flour and mix well. Add water and remaining flour. Mix. Roll thin. Put bottom crust in plate. Put peach filling in and put top crust on. Back at 400 for 30 minutes. Cover in foil after about 15 minutes.

Peach Pie filling

3/4 to 1 cup sugar
3 Tbsp flour
1/4 tsp ground nutmeg
1 tsp cinnamon
dash salt
about 7 ripe peaches

Apple Cider punch

1 gallon apple cider
1/2 gallon white grape fruit juioe chilled
1 bottle sparkling apple cider chilled
8 oz orange juice
apple slices to float
sonic ice

So Long September

2011-10-02T20:18:00.000-07:00

September is one of my favorite months. Back to School, the leaves are starting to change and yet, none of the Halloween craziness has hit yet. Here are the highlights of this past month.

I took Sammie to see Mary Poppins. It is my favorite Broadway show, hands down. The dancing is phenomenal and we had great seats. Sammie loved her girl time with mom and i love hearing her talk like a valley girl as she gave me all the first grade gossip.

Luke and I went to a BYU football game. The whole experience was a bit frantic, as I was not prepared for the ridiculous traffic getting to Provo and then the nightmarish parking situation. (I ended up paying a college student 20 bones to let me park in his apartment complex. I told him it was highway robbery but I was over a barrel and the game had started.) We had fun and I tell you what--nothing tastes better than a stadium dog sometimes.

Ryan started preschool and looooves it. I wish it was all day.

I went to my law school reunion and since I know you are all wondering...no, I did not wear tights. It was really hot and I was glad I didn't. I did have the worst zit on my chin and I was praying for dim lighting. No such luck--the dinner was in a room in the Wilkinson Center with florescent lighting (the kind in dressing rooms.) Shoot me now. Despite that, I had a great time and enjoyed seeing old friends. We had about 150 people in our graduating class but only about 30 came. It was still fun.

Luke started Flag Football and two nights out of the week, I am dragging my four kids, tons of treats (since it is dinner time), stroller and three camp chairs to the games. Luke absolutely loves it. I have no idea how some of you moms are doing tackle football every night!

Sammie is doing Tumbling, jazz, ballet and Luke and Sammie are doing piano. I spend a lot of time in the car.

Oh, and I am leader of the pack..the wolf pack that is...imagine me trying to manage five 8 year olds, keyed up like crazy, right after school, every Wednesday. I want to put a gun to my head but I am soldiering on.

The absolute highlight of the month was one glorious four hour spa day. Happy belated Mother's Day to me!

This week, the craziness begins...I am hosting Gourmet Dinner night...stay tuned!

Big Baby

2011-09-25T20:17:00.000-07:00

Remember Big Baby from Toy Story 3?

I have got one of my own. The kid turns 17 months this week. He doesn't talk (not a single word!), he doesn't walk, or hold his own bottle. Yes, he still takes a bottle every morning and evening and wants to be held in his glider like a newborn while he drinks it.

Yet, he can climb like a monkey:

He is off the charts for height and weight:

And gives the world's best smooches.

The last few times I have gone to the gym, I have found him back in the newborn room in a bassinet. The ladies tell me that is where he wants to be....big baby.

You can't tell he's my last can you?

Buster's Got Himself A Girlfriend!

2011-09-17T22:37:00.000-07:00

One of my blogging friends Em called me this last week and invited me to meet her for breakfast while she was in town. I was so excited to finally meet her in person. She is one of the funniest bloggers out there. Go to her blog here.

Plus, she has an ADORABLE little girl the same age as Buster. We decided a long time ago that these two are getting married. What? You say that arranged marriages are a thing of the past? Nonsense. How could these two little chubbies not meet and fall in love?

They did.

And I fell in love with Em and the Chunky French Toast at Kneaders. We talked about everything from fashion to kids to serious family stuff and back again. That is what I love about blogging...no need to get to know each other...we felt like we already did.

A couple weeks ago, my friend Greg and his cute wife Julie came to visit me as well. I met Greg in law school and haven't laid eyes on him in ten years. We got to laugh and catch up over Cafe Rio. It was so much fun. Greg and Sam are my only male commenters and I have been bugging Greg for some time to start a blog. He finally did! I like reading blogs written by men because I think they offer a different perspective on life. And Greg is really funny so he's easy to read.

He just did a male fashion post. Go show him some love here. Tell him Brooke sent you.

The Color Purple

2011-09-16T16:13:00.000-07:00

This post is not about that movie where Oprah was nominated for an Oscar. No, this post is about my current obsession with the color purple. I used to hate purple but for some reason, I'm into it right now. Maybe it's the fall weather...I can't get enough.

It all started with a pair of purple tights. I was at Macy's a couple weeks ago and saw these bright purple tights. I had nothing to put them with but I bought them anyway and started my search for a cute church outfit.

I ended up with the dress (pictured above) from Dillard's and cropped sweater from Charlotte Russe (don't judge...cropped purple sweaters are hard to find) Forgive me for my awkward poses...now you see why Barbazon never came calling

But when I tried on the outfit with the purple tights, Luke said "Why do you have on a Halloween outfit mom?" I knew the tights were too much. Of course, it looks best with bare legs.

Black tights are okay too for fall:

So I put the purple tights with a black pencil skirt and purple tank (also purchased at Dillard's). What do you think? Is it too crazy for church? (Sammie was my photographer and cut off my legs):

I'm not that conservative in what I wear as long as it is dressy...don't get me started about t-shirts and flip flops at church!

And when this line goes on sale at Janie and Jack..I'm totally picking up the bubble skirt, top and shoes for Sammie so we can coordinate:

Oh, and I found this handbag in the back of my closet that was a free gift from Lancome a couple years ago...I am going to be so matchy-matchy!:

Does anyone else out there where colored tights to work or church? Do you like bare legs or black tights for my law school reunion with the dress? I want to look hot but lawyerly....but not too lawyerly or I would be wearing a suit.

Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning?

2011-09-11T05:00:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it has been 10 years since 9/11. My heart still sinks when I see the footage of that terrible day. My heart goes out to each and every one of the victim's families who were affected by the tragedy.

I will never forget where I was when I heard that a plane had hit the first tower. Sam and I were driving into work and heard it on the radio. The minute I got into work, I went down to the conference room where people were gathering and we watched footage all day as the tragedy unfolded. In the days after, I was glued to the tv, sobbing as the stories were told of the people who died and the many heroes that were born that day.

I was especially touched by the story of Todd Beamer, who was a passenger on United Airlines flight 93. He tried to call his wife Lisa to say goodbye and was redirected to an operator. He asked the operator to call his wife and children and tell them that he loved them. Then he said "Let's Roll" and he and three other men stormed the cockpit and attacked the terrorists. The plane went down in a remote field rather than it's intended target. A few months later, his wife had a baby girl. Todd Beamer is a true hero.

Alan Jackson wrote a really amazing song in the days following 9/11. This video is set to that song, though it is not him singing.

Where were you when the world stopped turning?

What I Won't Be Wearing This Fall

2011-09-09T20:48:00.001-07:00

I spend a fair amount of time perusing In Style Magazine. I probably should spend more time in the Ensign but that is a post for another day. While I generally know what the trends are, I rarely follow them. I much prefer sweats. So here is what I won't be wearing:

Anything Menswear Inspired:

I spent the better part of the 90s dressing like a man. I don't need to ever do that again.

Brogues/oxford shoes:

Goes along with the menswear...I don't understand the appeal of these.

Fur:

Apparently, fur is all the rage this fall. Can you even imagine me putting this on to go pick up the carpool?

Calf Length Hemlines:

Frumpy McFrumpy!

Ponchos:

The heat Jerry!

Liberty boots:

I cannot figure out this trend for the life of me...Little House on the Prairie? Pioneer? Amelia Earhart? Not for me.

I'm still waiting for my uni to come back in style.

90's Flashback (High School Dance Edition)

2011-09-04T22:42:00.000-07:00

Since going to the 80s Prom last weekend, I have been thinking about my high school dances. I went to high school in the 90s, not the 80s. But the 90s did us no favors. Think high rise jeans, huge rugby shirts and don't get me started on the shoes and perms.

I finally dug out my old scrapbook to see what I was wearing to my school dances. Oh my goodness. Someone should have stopped me. Here is just a random sampling of my favorites or "the best of the worst":

Sophomore year theme dance (we were cowboys):

Straight denim, baby, with a freakin' BOLERO tie! My date told me I was "churchy." I will never forget it!

Sophomore year Prom:

I borrowed this dress from my MOM! It doesn't scream "mom dress" at all does it? Notice my black flats with those little clip on shoe accessories!

Junior year Christmas Dance:

I really liked this guy (notice he is wearing uber cool Girbaud jeans!) So what better to wear than an oversize denim shirt with Christmas button covers!! I borrowed the plaid skirt from my friend Jaime. Love the perm!

Junior Year Valentines Dance:

Valentines= pink jeans. I wore those all the time. Don't forget the button covers again! I also wore those ankle cowboy boots everywhere. They were shoes that looked like boots...anyone else wear those?

Senior Year Morp Dance:

We were bikers. What is funny to me is that we actually thought it would be cool to pretend to ride another guy.

Senior Year Women's Association Dance:

The dress ain't bad--classic velvet Jessica McClintock number (I think this was the one I bought in San Diego to wear to Homecoming the year before.) It might have been a bit immodest but this was back in the day before they pushed "For the Strength of Youth"...

The funny thing about this dance is the group picture. I had "photo shopped" it myself. I thought my arms looked fat (I know...if only my high school self could see me now!) so I took a black Sharpie and tried to thin my arms out. I butchered the job but still had to deliver the photos to my date. His wife reads my blog...Jessica, ask him if he noticed!

Christmas dance Senior year:

Same date again. Lovin' on the Christmas sweater. I wore that same Christmas sweater to the Christmas dance my sophomore year too so I must have thought it was a winner. Once again...wearing the awesome low boots.

Skyline Prom:

Going for the bridal look (what the?) My date was really cute..we were both red heads but I should have saved the white lace dress for my wedding.

Brighton Prom:

This is the best dress yet...the sleeves could be worn up on the shoulders at home when my parents were taking the pre-dance photos

and then down off the shoulder at the Prom!!

It is a miracle I was even asked to these dances. Now you can see why I'm excited to go to my 20 year reunion. I have no where to go but up!

Telephone Games

2011-09-03T21:27:00.000-07:00

I saw this video on CJane's blog a couple weeks ago. I fell in love with the song and Brooke White's voice. It is the perfect song as we go into Fall. (I'm sorry that you can't see Brooke...I don't know what happened to the other half of the picture!) Take a listen:

Seriously, People!

2011-08-29T13:37:00.000-07:00

People do obnoxious things.

For example:

This house down the street from me started having a garage sale about three weeks ago. I say "started" because the sale is still going. Yup. They drag the stuff in every night and pull it all back out the next day. If you see anything you like, let me know and I will point you toward their home. It will all be there again tomorrow. I want to send them a memo that says "take it all to the DI ...or better yet, the dump!" At some point, you've got to cut your losses and throw stuff out.

People do scary things:

Ashley and I were out on the road and saw this guy working on his laptop while he was driving! For reals! Texting doesn't look so bad anymore right?!

People do funny things:

When Ash and I were at the zoo with our kids, we saw this couple wandering around taking in the animals...no kids. Nothing wrong with that...who doesn't appreciate a regal cat or a majestic lion? But this cracked me up...taking close up photos of the pretend dinosaurs. Those photos are going to be keepers!

Finally, people do annoying things:

Ashley and I were at Robert's crafts today and I was trying to buy some supplies for Buster's baby book. In the past, I have always been able to use two coupons at a time. But at the register, the lady said "We only allow two coupons on Tuesdays and Fridays...you can come back Monday when everything in the store will be 50% off or you can just use one coupon today."

The extra coupon would save me $7.50 so I was torn on the value of my time vs driving back to save the money. Ashley finally asked the lady if her son Charlie (who is almost five) could buy my item and use a coupon. The lady said "I guess." So I gave Charlie a ten spot and he made the purchase.

What crazy things have you seen people doing lately?

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

2011-08-29T12:52:00.001-07:00

Saturday night, Ashley and I went to Prom...an '80s prom birthday party that is. My cousin Liz's husband Bill was turning 40 and since he is officially halfway to 80, an 80's prom was in order. This is my darling cousin Liz and rockin' husband Bill:

The funnest part for me and Ashley was finding the dresses and getting ready. We spent Saturday afternoon going to various friends' houses, trying on dresses, laughing pretty hard and wondering how we were going to fit in these obscenely small dresses. Unfortuntely, every single dress required a shade top.

Ashley tried on a really awesome white hot dress from my friend Susan that I begged her to wear. It reminded me of the white suede dress from "Can't Buy Me Love."

Remember when Cindy throws the wine glass "Ronnie bought me and he bought alllll of you!" Such a good movie.

But white is so unforgiving and if she wore it, she would not be able to dance or move or breathe for that matter. She went with a classy bedazzled number that I bought at the DI a few years ago.

I ended up wearing one of Susan's dresses that she wore to Prom in 1991! My friend Marni loaned us a crimping iron and we were on our way.

When we got there, I saw my friend (also named Ashley) who I hadn't seen in a long time. She told me she reads my blog which made my night. This one's for you Ashley J.!

We had a really great time and I was so impressed with all the work my cousin did to make the party great. They had Atari's set up for people to play, Ferris Bueller playing on a large projector, 80's movie posters on the walls and an 80's trivia contest. There was a photographer taking prom pictures and of course, an awesome spread of refreshments and small Rubik's cubes favors. Happy Birthday Bill!

I Like Rules

2011-08-26T11:07:00.000-07:00

I just don't think they apply to me. I am a "spirit of the law" type person.

Exhibit 1: Sammie came home from school on the first day and told me the teacher told her that her shorts were too short and she couldn't wear them anymore. Nonsense. She is 6 people! Apparently in the school's uniform policy, it outlines how long the shorts must be. I don't have time to read that, nor do I care. I will keep sending her in these until I get a personal note or call telling me to stop.

Exhibit 2. When I was at BYU, I got a letter from the Honor Code Office asking me to come meet with them because I had worn a skirt that was too short. (Like Mother, Like Daughter.) I thought I was being punked by some guys in my ward. Nope. Turns out I had worn a skirt that was about an inch above my knee to dinner one evening at the Cannon Center and a worker turned me in. I didn't like being told what to wear and I continued to wear whatever I pleased. I just was more careful about not wearing it to dinner.

Exhibit 3. I was driving through my town (where every road is under construction) and I came upon a construction worker who was directing cars to turn around and go back the other way. I needed to get through to my street because going around would add at least five minutes to my trip home. I ignored said construction worker dude and soldiered on.

He chased down my car, pounded on my window and yelled at me. I rolled down the window and he said "What are you doing lady...you are going the wrong way and YOU ARE EATING A SANDWICH! You've got kids in the car..think of their safety!" I was laughing so hard from his sandwich comment (I was eating a six inch sub) I just rolled up the window and kept going. Oh, and Ryan was riding shotgun. I think that really impressed him.

Exhibit 4. I don't put my baby in a waterproof swim pants at the pool even though it is required. I think a swim diaper is good enough.

Exhibit 5. I bring outside food in almost everywhere including movie theaters, Lagoon, Disneyland, etc.

Exhibit 6. I haul all four of my kids into the aerobics room at the gym to get my spot and set up. This is off limits and I don't care. Gotta get my spot.

Exhibit 7. I don't leave my underwear on when I try on bathing suits in the dressing room. Ashley is especially appalled by this.

Exhibit 8. I break every rule of fashion...I wear silver and gold together, I never match my shoes to my bag and I wear white pants after Labor Day.

Exhibit 9. I park where I shouldn't.

I could go on all day. What rules to you break?

Salute to the End of Summer

2011-08-23T21:06:00.001-07:00

Today is the last day of summer...not officially, but for all the reasons that really count. My kids are going back to school tomorrow. Hallelujah! We have had a lot of fun but the last two days have put me over the top...Can you say "Friend Overload!"

When I was in high school, the night before school started, my parents actually let me and my friends climb onto our roof, sit on lawn chairs and watch summer die. ( I have a picture I will scan tomorrow) Now that I think about it, chances are good my parents had no idea we were up on the roof. Bygones.

Circa 1994

With today being the last day of summer, what better time than now to learn to use my grill? To hell with waiting for Sam to put things on the BBQ! I am woman, hear me roar. I have always been afraid that the thing would blow up in my face. But I put on my big girl panties and went out and got er' done....all with a baby on my hip!

I also made a peach pie just for kicks...I know...I don't even recognize myself anymore. I plan to eat the whole thing myself, with no plate, just a fork that stays in the dish. Thanks to my sis-in-law Sarah for the delicious recipe.

Here is my favorite recipe for Chicken Teriyaki Kabobs (a Warner family favorite): (sorry Ash, I loved your Asian style ones but they were too spicy for my kids.)

2 Pkgs chicken breasts--cleaned and cubed

Marinate in:

4 TBSP soy sauce
4 TBSP oil
4 TBSP orange or lemon juice
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp ground ginger

Thread chicken on skewers with green peppers, cherry tomatoes and small white mushrooms. I forgoe all of the veggies because my kids don't eat them but they do give the chicken flavor.

In another final salute to summer, we took a picnic of KFC up to Snowbird the other night. Say what you will about KFC, the Colonel knows chicken. I love me a piece of fried chicken now and then. And the mashed potatoes are second to none.

This little boy has a thing for my mother. He won't let the woman out of his sight. If she is around, he wants nothing to do with me. He only has eyes for her:

Who is excited for fall? I'm ready to start unpacking the Halloween decorations...who's with me?

Best of Summer 2011

2011-08-14T20:36:00.000-07:00

This is our last real week of Summer vacation. Summer always goes by way too fast but we packed a lot into three months. We are hitting 7 Peaks tomorrow and then I will feel like we have done it all.

I give you the Best of Summer 2011:

Best Movie: the Help (with 17 Miracles coming in a close second)

Best Trip: San Diego without the kids

Best Activity for little kids: The Farm at Thanksgiving Point (little boy Heaven)

Best Lessons: Swimming lessons at Swim Kids

Best free Lesson: Tennis with my brother Cam

Best Family Activity: Bike Rides to the Park

Best Meal: Toscano with my Parents (artisan pizzas, divine Caesar salad and gelato to die for) How come no one has told me about this place?

Best Value: Art and Games in the Park

My kids went twice a week for two hours a day for the entire summer and it cost me 44 bucks a kid. Awesome. They came home every day with amazing crafts (like tie-dye t-shirts, dream catchers, etc.

Best Friends when you really need them: Kristen and Susan

Best Accomplishment: Getting Ryan potty trained (It took Divine Intervention...ask me in person if you want details!)

Best Cousin Activity: Noah's Ark at Thanksgiving Point

Best Easy Birthday Party: Luke's birthday at Boondocks

Luke with his two bffs who happen to be my bff's sons (Are you still with me?)

Best Breakfast: Kneaders chunky French toast

Best Fourth of July: Being in a parade as the Patriotic Pirates

Best Spiritual Experience: Luke's baptism

Best Girls' Night out: Zupas with my High School Friends

(We went back to Natalie's amazing house for dessert and laughed our guts out--yearbooks and facebook was involved!)

Best low-key weeknight dinner: S'mores and dogs up the canyon.

Best shopping experience: Finding the perfect jeans at the Nordstrom Sale (Hudson's baby boot)

Best Treat: Golden Spoon Frozen Yogurt:

Best Shindig at my house: Throwing a bridal shower for my favorite girl Morgan

Favorite Summer colors: Red and Torquise (candy bought for Morgan's shower)

We hit everything on the Summer Bucket List except Snowbird, Alpine Slide and the Zoo. But I'm planning to do all of these in the fall. What was your Best Summer activity?

The Day I Turned Into My Parents

2011-08-11T20:52:00.000-07:00

Sam and I took the kids to Lagoon on Monday. I had high hopes since we had a pretty good time there two years ago. My philosophy with Lagoon is that you have to give in to the Nasty, embrace it, if you will. This is not where we turned into Paul and Linda. They don't embrace the Nasty.

I came with my game face on and we immediately rode a new small coaster called the Bombora. Instantly, I knew it was going to be a long day. I was already feeling nauseous. Then we headed over to The Bat. After getting my head thrown around, I told Luke I was cashed out for the day. He was not impressed.

This is when I turned into my parents. I started complaining about the "lagoon headache" and got myself a huge diet coke and kept looking for a bench in the shade. Except if you've been to Lagoon lately, you know there is no shade.

Look how scared Ryan is on Puff the Magic Dragon:

I did the Tidal Wave and Turn of the Century (the swings) and then I was really DONE.

From that point on, I couldn't do another ride. We found the only indoor restaurant at Lagoon for lunch..a Subway. After laying down 36 bones, yup you read that right!, for lunch we were back at it.

Sam made a very insightful comment about why I was so sick. Lagoon has nothing but carni rides--they all go in circles. I love a good roller coaster (my favorite is California Screamin' at Disneyland) but I can't do carni rides anymore...I'm too damn old.

So that was our day at Lagoon. Sam and I ended up bribing the kids by letting them each do a $5.00 carni game on the way out just to let us leave. They all brought home huge stuffed animals that I'm sure are full of AIDS. But it's over. Cross it off the Summer Bucket List!

On the way out, Sammie spotted this lady with the super long hair:

Seeing that hair swinging around was all it took for me to cut three inches off my hair yesterday!

The end.

My Window Got the Treatment

2011-08-07T15:25:00.000-07:00

Behold the new window treatment in my kitchen:

My kitchen window has looked like this for the last 9 years.

I have always hated how the window stopped about 18 inches from the ceiling (Brian Apsley are you reading this?) Anyway, I found some cute fabric at Joanne's and my amazing friend Heidi whipped it up.

I know you are wondering who this uber talented Heidi is. Remember this wreath from by birthday?

Heidi made that too.

Heidi and I met about 5 years ago when I was YW's president in my ward and she was in the Stake YW's presidency. We became fast friends. Now I am in cub scouts (Heaven help me!) and she is Stake YW's president (Heaven help her more!) I am constantly amazed at her many talents. Not only is she one of the smartest women I know, she is insanely talented in the home decor/craftiness department. In case you don't know me in real life--that gene skipped me.

I forced Heidi to pose in front of the valence for a picture. She is slowly going to make my house cute:

So Heidi not only sewed that valence, she brought her drill over and installed it too. Then I mentioned that I would have to get my blinds down sometime and she climbed back up on the counter and took them down. That is what I love about her. She thinks about doing something and does it. I think about doing something for 9 years and do nothing about it.

I can't stop staring at my window. I love it so much. Heidi also bought some chairs at IKEA and had a lady sew slipcovers for them. So of course, I had to copy her. I special ordered this fabric from Joanne's too.

Sam recovered my kitchen chairs in the same fabric. Here is the before and after:

I had the same lady make me some pillows:

And I bought new plates for my hutch (Heidi also gave me the glass dome on the middle shelf):

Today Heidi brought me over a Family Home Evening kit with this awesome book of easy lessons--perfect for my kids.

And just so I don't put her on too much of a pedestal, I have to remind myself that she was the cause of some major Eater's Remorse a couple years ago.

Don't you all wish Heidi was your friend too?

Ashley + J.P. = True Love Forever

2011-08-02T09:45:00.001-07:00

or at least for a couple more weeks. I loved the finale. I loved Ashley's dress and she made the right choice. I thought it was funny that Ben said "She went with the safe bet" because that's not how I saw it at all. I thought Ben was the safe bet--the one her family liked, the one her head was telling her to pick. But she went with her heart and picked J.P. We all saw their chemistry. He was the right pick from the start.

I have to start by saying what a piece of work Ashley's sister is. I had to actually concentrate on what she was saying because my mind was so distracted by the tattoos. Why would someone that pretty do that to themselves? Sad. I have no problem with someone speaking their mind, especially when she was there to give Ashley her opinion, but I thought she had no tact. She should have waited until she met both men to say something to Ashley and she should have done it in private. She never even gave J.P. a chance and she put him in an awkward spot where nothing he could say was going to change her mind.

I'm glad she apologized on ATFR. I'm also glad she wore a long sleeve shirt! And can I just say right now how glad I am that Ames left the show when he did. Can you even imagine someone that classy hanging with Ashley's family?

Usually I say poor poor Ben. But not today. I do feel bad that he honestly believed it was going to be him. He was so confident. The guy has really grown on me. He will always be a caveman but his hair looked better and he is genuinely funny.

I just think he should never have started to propose to Ashley without waiting to see if he was going to get the final rose. If you watched the re-run of his proposal on ATFR, you will notice Ashley's face and she looks like she is about to cry right before he bends down. If he had actually looked at her and heard her start to say something, he wouldn't have dropped to his knee. But he came in on a mission (Mr. Confidence) and he was going to propose come hell or high water. Ashley also should have interrupted him and not let him do the whole proposal.

I think he ended up being embarrassed and that is why he got so angry. I can appreciate the anger though. He felt totally strung along. (But like I always say, you know what you signed up for!) I liked that he didn't want Ashley to sugar coat it. If I were in his shoes, I would have no time to have someone tell me how "amazing" I am on national tv while they dumped me either.

I do think Ashley should have had the decency to break up with him in his room (a la Ali and Chris) and not have put him through the final rose ceremony/proposal mess. I think if you care enough about someone, you would want to spare them that.

I loved J.P.'s proposal. He always says he is "madly in love" with her. You can tell he is so crazy about her. Luckily for Ashley, J.P. also picked a gorgeous ring. Ben picked an ugly one (as ugly as one could be that costs 50 Gs. And Ben got first pick! Did you all love how Fleiss had Neil Lane act as a sort of therapist and ask the guys questions as they picked out the rings? "How are you feeling?" "What will you do if this doesn't work out?" Just stick to what you know Neil.

What did you all think about Ashley's new hair do on ATFR? I'm not a fan. Did you all like Ben's new do? It was shorter and smoother on the ATFR. It made me really nervous that Fleiss is grooming him to be our next bachelor. Ben is a great guy but I don't want a caveman as our next bachelor! To be honest, I wouldn't have wanted to watch J.P. either but he was perfect for Ashley. Maybe they can bring Brad back for a third go at it!

As a side note, Sam met Bentley a few weeks ago at work. Bentley came in to visit his friend and they called Sam to come hang out. Sam described him as very small and very tan. He is so smarmy. I will be surprised if he ever dates again.

Are you all watching Bachelor Pad? I'm sitting this one out. I can't do Jake and Sausage!

My Own Brand of Mangy

2011-07-22T22:28:00.000-07:00

My sister recently did a post where she made the point that a mangy baby is the sign of a good summer.

If that is the case, I must be having a good summer:

Barefoot, mangy Buster and I shared a hot dog at Costco tonight for dinner. I think I did earn some points for being at Costco.

And if a mangy baby is the sign of a good summer, a mangy kid is the sign of a great summer:

And if a mangy kid is the sign of a great summer, a mangy husband is the sign of a totally awesome summer:

Sam in all of his mangy glory while we took the kids to visit my friend's cats. That's how we roll folks.

May summer never end...

Meet the Family

2011-07-21T15:00:00.002-07:00

My entire family came into town over the Fourth of July weekend. It was so nice to have everyone here for Luke's baptism and to participate in the parade with us. We had Jill take pictures of the whole clan while we were all together.

I've been told in the past that I never talk about my brothers on the blog. Some have even questioned their existence. Let me introduce you.

Rex is my older brother (by 15 months) but he has always sort of felt like my younger brother if you know what I mean. Rex used to beat the crap out of me growing up but has mellowed a bit in recent years. He is an FBI agent in southern Califoria. He packs heat so I wouldn't mess with him. Rex likes to tease and is known for his kool-aid stunt with Ashley and leaving hilarious comments on my blog. Here is Rex and his family:

You all know Ashley. She is a regular around these parts. She is the smartest one in our family (and that includes you dad!) Ashley is a retired attorney and if she has it her way, she will never work again. She lives in the bay area and she and her husband Tyler make red headed boys:

My little brother Cam is the one you probably don't know. He is a law student at BYU and his wife Katie is the best thing that has ever happened to our family (along with Rex's wife Sarah.) Cam and Katie are the favorite aunt and uncle for many reasons. Cam and I have had some pretty sweet fights as adults and it's good to know I can still take him.

My parents Paul and Linda. You all know my mom as the best grandma on the planet. I used to not use that term for fear of offending others but lets call a spade a spade. She is. As I type this, she is at Cowabunga Bay going down water slides with Luke and Sammie. God bless her. My dad is awesome too. I have really relied on him a lot over the years and I appreciate him more every year.

My family (enjoy it because you will see this same picture on the Christmas card!)

Just because I know you are all clamoring for more, here you go:

If you want Jill's contact information, you can go to her website here.

The Hometown Dates

2011-07-19T13:00:00.001-07:00

The hometown dates episode is always my favorite episode of the season. Last night, I went up to my mom's to watch on the big screen. My mom and I are so similar. We agree on everything about the show. We both can't stand Constantine. We both cried during Ben's date and we both feel so bad for Ames.

Let's start with Constantine. Nothing wrong with his big Greek family. They were as nice as could be. I loved watching Ashley in the restaurant and I thought it was pretty funny how all the waitresses were spying on Ashley and Constantine. I just don't like Constantine. He isn't funny. He isn't handsome. He isn't really all that nice. Send him packing Ashley! He is the original caveman.

Ames. Poor poor Ames. My mom and I both agree that he was born a century too late. He is sooo polite, so nice, such a gentleman. He is so smart and classy and I think that is why I am still drawn to him even though he is so cheesy. I loved his older sister. I knew he was going home though. Ashley always described Ames as "unique" and "amazing" but never said she was "smitten with him" like she said about J.P.

By the way, I hate the word "amazing." It is the new "sweet spirit." If you don't want to date someone and they aren't cute or sexy or whatever, they are "amazing." just a fact folks.

Just to make us all feel better (or maybe I'm the only one who cares.) Ames is now dating Jackie from Brad Womack's season. She was the smart, outspoken brunette. Apparently, they met on Bachelor Pad 2. She is perfect for Ames:

My friend Mandee made a very wise comment. She said Ames is Creme Brulee and Ashley is Baskin Robbins. So true.

Onto Ben. First, I loved his mom's house. How cute was the outside with the white fence and red front door? Ben's mom and sister were so classy and nice. Ben's sister was really pretty. Unfortunately, Ben's mom looks like a caveman in a blond wig. I'm horrible.

I did cry through the whole date hearing Ben talk about his father. I just don't see Ashley picking Ben in the end but he is definitely my second choice. That caveman has grown on me.

Let's talk about the only guy who matters at this point. J.P. He's got it in the bag and he knows it. She is so head over heals for him and I love them together. I don't love small men but I'm a sucker for a guy with dimples. I thought his mom was so cute and I laughed out loud when she brought out the Bar Mitzvah picture. The only thing I'm worried about with J.P. is that he may still live at home. I swear he said "I've spent all 33 of my years in this house." Um, 33 and living with mom...not a good sign.

Now, the 25,000 dollar question. WHO COMES BACK? My mom and I rewound the DVR three times to try to figure it out. Ashley says "You flew to Fiji?" So we know it isn't one of the three who are already there. The producers clearly want us to think it is J.P. that she sends home and then he comes back but I don't think so. Mandee says it could be Brad Womack. What do you think?

Best of San Diego

2011-07-13T21:15:00.000-07:00

Sam and I returned Sunday evening from a trip to beautiful San Diego. The Utah Bar conference was there this year instead of Sun Valley. Sam and I decided to make it a real vacation and leave the kids home. I love San Diego. I lived there for five years when I was a kid and if money was no object, Sam and I would move back tomorrow. Here are the best things from our trip:

Best Meal: Blue Ribbon Pizzeria in Encinitas. Sam and I were driving up PCH on Sunday before going to the airport and found this pizzeria. They do the most divine artisan pizzas. Everything is organic (which is very important to me (wink) and they have the best bruschetta I've ever eaten:

Best Dessert: Ghiradelli's malt. Sam is not one to go light on desserts. My cousin told me about a place called Extraordinary desserts that we also hit hard, but we both liked good old Ghiradelli better. We ordered a malt and a brownie sundae but the malt was the best. We went to a movie after eating both desserts and I felt so sick the entire time. I've got to stop eating to the point of complete illness--I did it at least three times on this trip.

Best Company for a Meal: My aunt and uncle and cousin Kelly, and my parents. My cousin Kelly is one year younger than me and we grew up together. She is hilarious and my aunt Pandy and uncle Mark and like second parents to me. I love them!

Best Pool: Marriott Marquis downtown San Diego. This one seems obvious since there was only one pool on the trip. But this pool was the nicest pool I've ever been to in my life, even nicer than our pool in Hawaii...palm trees everywhere, shade, waiters bringing me fruity drinks at the snap of my fingers...I don't know why I came home.

As a side note, I felt very mom-ish in my tankini. I honestly think I was the only woman out there not in a bikini. Young, old, big, small, everyone had on a bikini. Which leads me to...

Best Awkward Moment: There were two extremely beautiful, blond, tan teenage girls (from somewhere in Europe) directly in front of us by the pool. (I referred to them as the Swedish bikini team). They both removed their tops and were sunbathing lying on their stomachs. At one point, they both sat up and veeerrrrry slowly put their tops back on (exposing their breasts for what seemed like an eternity.) I looked over at Sam, who was locked on, mouth slightly agape, making no attempt to avert his gaze. No, I did not get a picture.

Best Book: Tiny Fey's Bossy Pants. I think Tiny Few is sooooo funny. Sometimes I would laugh so hard I had to put the book down. Do yourself a favor and buy it today.

Best Shopping: Horton Plaza (only because it was within walking distance from the hotel.) I did some serious damage at Nordstrom and Gap--40% off sale stuff plus I had a coupon for an additional 25% off. Think how much I saved!! Two of the outfits I purchased for Sammie:

Best Shopping Companions: Paul and Linda Warner. My parents were at the same conference. When Sam would go on his four hour bike rides, I would go shopping with my mom and dad. I totally felt like I was back in high school, with mom showing me all the "really amazing" bathrooms, and my dad paying for lunch. He has the patience of Job when it comes to my mom's shopping. The man can follow her for hours and not say one word.

When we were at Horton Plaza, my dad and I got laughing about when we were there on a trip when I was in high school. I was in the Jessica McClintock store trying on Homecoming dresses (they were the rage in 1994) and I left my jean jacket (also the rage) in the dressing room. We came back an hour later and it had been stolen. That was a tough day for my teenage self.

Mom and Dad in front of "the Del"

Best Fast Food: La Salsa. I ate lunch here two days in a row with the 'rents. They love it. The shrimp tacos are really good.

Best Binge Meal: El Torrito in La Jolla. Fajitas, excellent salsa and gigantic Diet Cokes. What more could a hungry girl ask for?

Best Tourist Trap: Seaport Village. I love their Christmas shop "Mistletoe." They also had this restaurant that made me miss my little Chubby:

Best Laugh: Finding Spanx for men at Nordstrom. There is justice in the world!

Best Celebrity Meeting: CJane in the San Diego airport. I promise I will never bring it up again!

CJane says I am a Tall, Luminous, Blonde

2011-07-11T23:03:00.000-07:00

so you know it must be true. I feel pretty awesome right now. See the post here. Sam and I were at the airport in San Diego getting ready to come home from a very fun vacation (that post coming.) I rue the day I didn't have Sam take a picture of me with CJane. Quite honestly, she had her hands full with her kids and I just couldn't ask. But she was as nice as she could be and it is the closest I've ever come to meeting a celebrity. I did touch Kenny Loggins once....

I am hosting a shower at my house tomorrow night for 60 ladies (you better believe it is open house style!) and if you could see my house right now, you would not believe I would let my own mother in here tomorrow. But here I am still giving you a Bachelorette post people!

Tonight I watched the Bachelorette while I "helped" Sam recover the seat cushions on our kitchen chairs. All the while, I was texting Mandee and loading up my Old Navy virtual cart with school uniforms only to discover an hour later that the 35% off code I was using didn't apply to unis...what the?

So here is the extremely quick and dirty on Bachelorette in Taiwan:

Ashley looked really cute in the white jeans but holy crap girl--can you find a shirt with a back? I especially loved it when she went to the temple with Ryan backless! It didn't seem right.

I texted Mandee at the beginning of Ashley's date with Ryan and said he is going home at the end of their date. Told you so!!

I felt bad for Ry Ry (that's what we call our Ryan.) It is hard to see someone who is ALWAYS happy sad. He is sweet and will be a great dad. Please please Mr. Fleiss, don't make him our next bachelor (Jake Pavelka part deux!) I would rather watch a caveman and I already swore I wouldn't do that.

Speaking of the cavemen, Ben is growing on me. It started last week but I had too much pride to admit it. I still don't want him to win but he is alright. Constantine still sucks.

I loved Ames in the baby blue tux. He is so cute when he doesn't talk. He is so cheesy but I still like him. Sue me.

Emily should totally be our next Bachelorette. Love her. Why oh why can't she and Brad make it work? Is he crazy? Tell me please people!

Patriotic Pirates

2011-07-04T20:55:00.001-07:00

Ahoy matey! This year for the Fourth of July, my mom built a pirate ship float for all of the grand kids to ride on in the annual East Millcreek parade.

Actually, Sam built the ship, Ashley's husband Tyler sewed and rigged up the sails and my mom did everything else. She really is a creative genius. We thought we might actually have a chance to win this year but once again, no dice. We lost to a very sub-par covered wagon float.

Every year, Sam grumbles about having to do the parade, but honestly, it is so fun and my kids looooove it. This year, the three oldest grand kids walked and threw candy:

The four little boys rode in the float:

and the three babies got pushed in decorated strollers:

All of the kids wore pirate costumes and me and my sister, sisters-in-law and my mom wore these red and white striped shirts I bought on Ebay...of course, my smart aleck brother Rex had to give us a hard time about wearing horizontal stripes:

The back of the float was the only thing I was responsible for. I ordered vinyl lettering and called it a day. It was a four man job getting it on straight.

Because I know you are dying for more, here are some action shots from the parade:

Of course, we finished off the morning at Kneaders eating their chunky french toast and strawberries 'n cream. I'm not much of a breakfast eater but it is DELICIOUS! I may or may not have finished every one's plate:

The rest of the day was low key and I actually got a nap while Sam took the older three kids to Kung Fu Panda 2. I needed the sleep after the crazy weekend we had--it has been Warner-Palooza with tons of activities and dinners and a family picture and Luke's baptism. I will report on that later!

Happy Fourth everyone!

High Maintenance Woman

2011-06-30T21:05:00.000-07:00

I would not usually classify myself as a high maintenance woman (at least not in the beauty department.) But lately, all of that has changed. Each year that I get older, I have to try harder to look cute.

A few weeks ago, I saw my hairdresser Holly at the gym. She had the most gorgeous eyelashes. Turns out she had eyelash extensions. I was all over it, not so much because I wanted longer lashes, but because I have always dreamed of dark lashes. I went in and voila--no more mascara for me!

I honestly love them so much, I may have to keep them forever. Did I mention I've quit wearing make-up since I got them...I guess that negates some of the high maintenance right? I also got my eyebrows tinted which also helps me not look like an albino.

A while back, I bought a shellac mani-pedi on Groupon and decided to go use it since I have a family picture and vacation coming up. Look at my pretty nails wrapped around a DC:

Shellac baby! I love it. It's your own nails so you can still do everything but they are super hard and don't chip. Honestly, Shellac, where have you been all my life?

This is in addition to getting my hair done and I'm going in for a spray tan tomorrow for all of the upcoming festivities. Seriously. I can't even keep track of all my appointments. But it is because I have no natural beauty. I shudder at the thought of me as a pioneer. I would have never married.

Now it's your turn. What is your latest high maintenance thing you do in the name of beauty?

ps. Hapari is having a Fourth of July sale where everything is 40% off if you use the coupon code sale40. If you have been thinking about getting a suit from them, now is the time!

Best Ever Bachelorette in Hong Kong

2011-06-28T21:27:00.000-07:00

I loved last night's show for so many reasons. The drama people!! What a good show!

I went up to my mom's house to watch Ashley reunite with Bentley on the big screen. My sister Ashley was in town and it was so fun to eat everything in sight and watch the show together.

The funniest part of the night was when my mom and I declared that Ames was the best guy left. A mere moments later, he had his scene in the elevator with Ashley where he was sooo cheesy and both me and my mom tried to back off of our love of Ames. My sister held us to it and kept saying "he's your guy!"

I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's start at the beginning. Hong Kong is the coolest city in the world. I dream of going there on a vacay.

Next, Bentley is sooooo lame. He is disgusting and I love that Ashley got closure with him. He was still trying to flirt with her while he was saying he wasn't interested. I can't stand him. I love that Ashley told him off. She can finally put an end to the dreaded dot dot dot! Good-bye forever Bentley!

I am loving Ashley these days. I know. She won me over. I think she is cute and smart and ready to find love. I do have to say, she is the most bow-legged woman I have ever seen. I also think telling the guys about Bentley was a crucial mistake. That totally backfired. Sometimes honestly isn't always the best policy. But I felt really bad for her when all the guys ganged up and were being mean to her. I seriously wanted her to take Lucas' rose back. I would have. He is a total jerk. And I'm glad she didn't give Blake a rose. I know he came around at the end of the show but he made Ashley cry. I don't think she was into him anyway and it was time for him to go.

My sister Ashley loved Mickie. I think he is really good looking but I didn't like how he acted like Ashley owed him something. He was traveling the world on ABC's dime. With that said, I am voting for him to be our next Bachelor. Check out these photos I found of him. Ashley, these are for you:

I loved the group date. It was like Bachelorette meets the Apprentice or something. My mom and sis and I were cheering for Ames and Mickie so we were thrilled when they won. I have to hand it to the cavemen though. It did make me laugh when they gave up on finding people and just went looking for sweet robes to wear in the race.

I thought one of the funniest parts of the show was when Ashley gave Ryan the rose on the group date. The looks on the other guys' faces were priceless.

What do we think about Ames? My friend Laura calls him "a Ken doll that slipped through quality control." I am so torn on him. I think he is cute--he's got a Harry Connick Jr. thing going and he is so polite which I love but he says really cheesy stuff which I don't love. All of my gourmet dinner night friends will totally laugh at what he was wearing at the rose ceremony last night (with the navy blazer!--inside joke!)

I still like him though, mostly because he is smart and can look cute sometimes when he keeps his mouth shut. Rumor has it that he is actually on the upcoming Bachelor Pad 2 (did he just lose all credibility?!) and is dating Jackie from Brad's season of the Bachelor.

J.P. is totally the front runner. I'm convinced she picks him and I would be happy with that. What scares the living hell out of me is that caveman #1 (Ben) would be the runner up and thus be our next bachelor! My prediction is that Caveman #2 (Constantine) sticks around a bit longer but he is on the way out. At the end of the show last night, we watched the preview of the upcoming episodes twice! Every time we could identify a guy, we said his name so we could figure out who was going home next week and who goes to Fiji. Whenever we saw Ben or Constantine, we simply said "caveman" and didn't differentiate between the two.

I predict Lucas is going home next week. He is rude and didn't have a good reason for his divorce and I say good riddance. Plus, we didn't see him in Fiji so we know he gets canned next week. We are trying to figure out who gets sent home and then comes back. My guess is J.P. but it could also be Blake. What do you all think?

Mystery

2011-06-26T22:10:00.000-07:00

I have started finding the same odd holes in the front of all of my shirts. Aargh!

Here is a close-up:

And this is an example of when it gets really bad:

I can't figure out where they are coming from. Anyone else have this problem?

Trimming the Fat

2011-06-20T22:52:00.001-07:00

This isn't another post about my weight loss efforts. I've pretty much fallen off the wagon on that front. This is about Ashley getting rid of three guys who didn't stand a chance.

To be honest, I liked lawyer Ben. He was a bit eager at times, but he was sincere and he was smart and kind. And next to William, he looked like George Clooney. William is the world's biggest dufas. I was sooo annoyed with him when he was totally sloshed before the date and kept saying cocky stuff to Ben. Then he goes on the date and acts totally immature and throws Ben under the bus ("I'm not trying to throw the guy under the bus but....")

I felt so bad for Ben. The whole way it went down was so cowardly. Ashley should have given Ben a chance to defend himself before getting rid of him. Clearly, she wanted him to go anyway, but she shouldn't have canned him right after she spoke to William. Ben deserved to be angry.

I was thrilled when she sent William packing as well.

As for Meathead, I feel bad for him. He seems really nice and genuine, and he spoke more tonight than he has the entire season. But he wasn't a contender so he had to go.

Poor poor Ames. What the crap were the producers thinking having them fight? I hated that whole thing. Ames is so polite, he let all the other guys pick their outfit first, and he ends up in hot pink! And then gets his bell rung in the ring because he's not a fighter. He still has a pretty good bod though. I wonder what he is doing to work out. The only silver lining of the whole fighting business was seeing the guys with no shirts on. There really hasn't been enough hot tubbing this season!

I don't think Mickie said a word tonight. Lucas is cute but I'm still afraid of him. The cavemen are soooo ugly. Constantine wants to go home and for the love, I hope Ashley comes to her senses soon and sends him packing. Ben is so gnarly and if she ends up with him, I swear on a stack of bibles I will never watch the show again. That little kissing charade in front of the temple was so nasty. I thought I was watching Elizabeth tease Jake (don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about!)

I want Ryan gone. I'm tired of him blowing sunshine up Ashley's skirt. I actually like Blake. I've come around on him. I think he might have a chance.

Bentley--it is all making sense now. Sam's friend said Bentley went to Hong Kong but then the previews last week made it look like he was going to be in Thailand. Next week is going to be so ugly. It looks like all the guys turn on Ashley and Bentley does too!

Real World Salt Lake

2011-06-16T20:10:00.000-07:00

Just to prove my blog is more than just the Bachelorette (not much more)..Here is what we have been up to this summer:

End of School craziness--I love the last two weeks of school but it it madness. I helped with three Kindergarten parties. Sammie had to make a car and bring it to school for a road rally (because that's really what every mom wants to be doing during the busiest week of her life).....I gave the job to Sam and he ran with it:

Here are Luke and Sammie on crazy hair day:

My favorite was that she had a mini tiara stuck into her bangs

And Hawaiian day:

We have started swimming lessons again (my favorite part of summer because I get to sit in the shade and pick up a big diet coke on the way home.)

Yes, I dress them the same every day...it is my right.

We finally finished soccer (Sam coached Luke's team):

We have also done plenty of pool time, some mall time (it's not all about the kids), and two Bee's Games:

I took the kids to Boondocks to scout the place out for Luke's upcoming birthday party. My three kids got into one of the bumper boats and went out on the water with a group of teenage girls who made it very clear they didn't want to get wet. Well guess who didn't give a rip what they wanted? Luke sprayed those girls until they were sopping wet. I had to walk away because I was laughing so hard:

Ryan tooling around Boondocks after he got wet in the boats...I have no pride.

And of course, we take lots of rides in the jeep in the evenings...good times!

Bachlorette in Thailand

2011-06-14T14:13:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the delay in posting. It is summer and my kids are in my grill full time.

I was really bored with last night's show. I don't know if the dates were just boring or the guys but I found myself fast forwarding a bit.

The beginning of the show was so lame with Ashley sitting down and having the staged conversation with the concierge pretending she was planning the dates. As if the producers don't plan every detail of those dates!

I'm glad they did the orphanage date. At least the show did something to give back. I was annoyed with Ashley though that she insisted on giving out an extra rose. She needs to trim the fat. There are way too many guys to keep track of.

Let's talk about the guys we have left:

Ames: I'm torn on him. One minute, he is cute and sweet and funny and the next, he is Quasimodo (thanks Laura!) Sam will hate me for saying this, but something about him reminds me of Sam except Sam's eyes aren't that far apart and Sam doesn't turn his fork over when he eats meat (drove me crazy!)

The caveman (Constantine and Ben) These two are so unattractive. Did you love Constantine's Adidas sandals and orange shorts? Yes, I know he thought he was going on a boat. I honestly can't tell these two apart and they are both ugly. Constantine "owns a restaurant" back in Georgia. Best case scenario: he has a Fazoli's franchise. Ben put that ugly elephant on the wall at the orphanage. I can't believe he got the rose. He said Ashley was "buzzing around him" like three times. These two need to go stat.

Add some beards and these two would be the Geico Cavemen:

Ryan (sunshine boy) I was wrong about him. I thought he was charming at first but turns out he is just plain annoying. His smile seems fake, he is bossy and I can totally see why the other guys can't stand him. The worst was how he pulled Ashley aside right before she gave out the rose just to say "I like you" or "I'm having a good time' or something else equally inane:

Blake: Even though I don't like Ryan, Blake shouldn't have pulled him aside to tell him no one liked him. I'm all for confrontation (ask Sam!) but you save that for when someone is truly out of line. Blake is a short-timer.

Meat head (aka the personal trainer from Florida) This guy doesn't even have a name in my book. He never ever talks. I'm glad we got that last clip of him doing push-ups with Ashley on his back or I would have assumed he never had any contact with her. He is always red-faced and flexing his guns. While I'm not against such things, you've got to talk too, pal.

Lucas: I think Lucas is cute but I am leary of any man who "fell out of love" with his first wife. Run Ashley!

The good guys:

J.P. Hello! These two have chemistry! I love them together. My sister Ashley thinks J.P. is totally hot and I don't. But I like him with Ashley. He is the front runner.

Mickie: He is a young Tom Hanks. I like Mickie. I hope she gets more time with him. I am always weary of the occupation--"chef"--could be microwaving stuff at the O.G.

William: I honestly forgot about him last night. He had no airtime and remains in the background. I still like him even though he made a total arse of himself at the roast.

Who am I forgetting? Sheesh. Too many guys.

I'm glad West went home. He was nice but boring.

Could you believe how many times Ashley brought up Bentley last night? She is obsessed. Rumor has it, Ashley begged the producers to bring him back to the show. So they called him up and offered him a free week in Thailand but he had to spend an hour with Ashley on tv. He was like "I've never been to Thailand...so I guess I'll do it...hope my hair looks good."

Can't wait to see that train wreck next week!

Poor poor Ashley

2011-06-06T23:11:00.000-07:00

I came into this season not being a big Ashley fan. But how can you not feel sorry for the girl after tonight?

Let's start at the beginning. I never really liked Ben. He always seemed too eager. But during the dance portion of his date, he started to grow on me. I love the flash mob business and he was really cute dancing with Ashley to the band. I turned to Sam and said "he's cute." Then they went to dinner and he started talking super duper fast about love and he started to freak me out. Not cute anymore dang it. But Ashley didn't seem to mind. He still got a rose. I still like Ben. Hopefully, he can chill a bit.

Onto the group date at the Comedy club. These dates are ALWAYS a disaster. I thought Blake (the dentist) did pretty well. The guys who played it safe and only made fun of the other guys were the smartest. I don't care if the point of the whole thing was to roast Ashley--you don't do it!

Willian William William. You were so cute and had so much potential. You have those cute dimples--why do you have to be such a bonehead? He really blew it tonight. I almost started crying when he roasted Ashley. It was soooo uncomfortable. And why all the jokes about her boobs? Seriously.

This is where Bentley comes in full force. I don't get it folks. Why is he on the show. He isn't promoting his business (the trampoline place). Why does he keep leading Ashley on? And for the love, why does he keep telling the cameras how he has no feelings for her, is not attracted to her, etc etc. Ashley is going to be 10x as crushed as she is right now when she watches the show.

Could he be a bigger jerk? I have no idea why she is so attached to him. He mumbles, he doesn't compliment her or tell her he is in love with her. He is just weird and cocky and awkward and sooooo mean.

Did you all love how he paused in his diatribe about how unattractive Ashley is to say that at one moment she straddled him and he thought he could hook up with her here and there. He is disgusting. The rumor is, he comes back at some point in the show. Honestly. I hope every woman in America is watching and seeing what a smarmy, skeaze he is.

J.P. looks like a knight in shining armor after Bentley. I felt bad for him though. He got Ashley in glasses and sweats and a puffy face...not cute.

I liked Chris Harrison's chat with Ashley. He is always the voice of reason. I forgot to even talk about the old dude taking off the mask...so anticlimatic...who even cares?

Don't you all think Costantine and the other Ben look like twins?

Who are we rooting for now people? I kind of like Ryan and J.P. and I hate to admit it, William. I kind of think Ames is cute too even though his eyes are way too far apart. What about you folks?

Surprise, Surprise (said in a sarcastic tone)

2011-06-01T22:16:00.000-07:00

So the big surprise fell through. I was supposed to have dinner with Bentley tonight. Sam works with his best friend and had the whole thing lined up. I was planning to ask him all sorts of questions about the process of applying for the Bachelorette, what made him decide to go on the show, what role the producers play in all of it and what on earth is the deal with the dude in the mask. But alas, Bentley cancelled at the last minute.

I was not surprised. Apparently, after Monday night's show, he was pretty embarrassed and rightly so. Honestly, I am embarrassed for the guy too. I would be hiding in a cave in Afghanistan if I said "tickle my pickle" on national tv.

I don't think he could have been a bigger jerk on the show if he had tried. His best line yet was "I'd rather be swimming in pee than planning a wedding with Ashley." I have a feeling it only gets worse next week. I was really hoping he was going to show me he was a decent guy in real life and I could blame his poor showing on the producers. But now I'm just going to blame him. I'm not a huge Ashley fan, but he is out of line. I don't think another contestant has ever said that many mean things about the person he is supposed to be wooing.

Keep hiding Bentley!

Tune in next week for a no-holds barred Bachelorette recap!

Bachelorette Surprise Coming...

2011-05-31T08:16:00.000-07:00

Sorry ladies (and the few guys with great taste who read my blog). There won't be a recap today. I am sick as a dog with the flu but check back on Thursday for a little Bachelorette surprise you won't want to miss!

Part 3--The Beach

2011-05-29T22:17:00.000-07:00

I kind of forgot that I was doing a three part series on our trip to California. Not that anyone cares, but here is part three--the Beach.

When Sam told me he wanted to get a four-day park hopper, I demanded one day at the beach. Next time, I will wise-up and demand at least two days there. We went to Newport Beach and it was perfect.

The weather could have been a little warmer but it wasn't terrible. The kids built sand castles and loved playing in the water. Luke even made a couple buddies and went body surfing for about an hour.

There is nothing finer than Mickie D's on the beach:

My dad taught me a long time ago, you never come to the beach unprepared. The necessary items are a cooler, beach chairs, mats, towels, umbrellas, sand toys and sunscreen. I looked over at the family next to us who literally brought nothing but towels, and felt bad for them. That is no way to spend a day at the beach.

The only bad part of the day was when I was tossing a frisbee with Sam and I stepped into some tar in the sand. It looked like some sort of sea creature had crabbed my toes and I couldn't get it off. I screamed like a maniac until I figured out it was just tar. It took me all night in the hotel hot tub to work the tar off my toes with a towel...don't say I'm not classy.

Please Tell Me I Wasn't the Only One Who Got Sucked In!

2011-05-23T22:21:00.001-07:00

I wasn't going to watch. Then I thought of 20 guys getting out of the limo and I had to watch. I'm not going to commit to recapping every week. It starts to feel like a job and Heaven knows I hate to work!

So here are my really quick thoughts from tonight (because I'm dead tired but I always have something to say.)

*Ashley looked cute in her dress. Do we think she got an "augmentation?" She was sooo flat before. I think she may have eyelash extensions too but who can blame her. If I was going on the show (just humor me for a minute) I would have a spray tan, fake eyelashes, and every procedure the show was willing to pay for.

*I liked the Butcher. He was sooo the cliche guy named Anthony from New Jersey. He reminded me of Nicholas Cage in Moonstruck. I was so sad she sent him home.

*There were a lot of guys this season with real careers (with the exception of the cell phone salesmen and the guy who works at Staples.) I like that. She likes that.

*Do I even have to say how completely ridiculous it was for Tim to get fall down drunk and pass out? My question is why did Ashley feel like she needed to go to all the work to put him in a cab? I would have just left him for dead and not wasted my time!

*I've seen a lot of party tricks and gimmicks over the years on this show but the masked dude is the very worst. It is totally embarrassing that he is 35....way too old for that crap.

*How did you like Ashley's conversation with Chris about Bentley? Leave it to SLC to bring the drama. We are two for two folks. I'm going to give Bentley the benefit of the doubt for now. Rumor has it, his ex-wife is besties with Michelle Money. Do the math.

*I don't trust the producers further than I can throw them (and with my bad knee, I shouldn't be throwing anybody..name the movie!) I can pretty much guarantee that Bentley doesn't say all of the stuff they have him saying in the preview of the season.

*There is a guy (I'm too lazy to look up names) that totally looks like a young Tom Hanks.

*Love Ryan who got the first impression rose. He is cute and seems confident without being arrogant.

*Love Nick, the blond surfer looking guy from Florida who is a personal trainer. He is a hottie.

*I like the two lawyers so far but I think Ben might be a little too eager.

*West is sweet. He would have been the perfect match for Emily...both from the South...both with a dead fiance/spouse.

*I was so embarrassed for the two guys who blubbered to the camera after they got sent packing. It is the first night!! Somehow, it is even worse for a guy to be crying and talking about how he will never find love!

I'm excited. I hate to admit it but I love looking forward to Mondays. Are you watching?

Sam's 10 Commandments of Disneyland

2011-05-22T22:01:00.000-07:00

Sam left his 10 commandments of Disneyland in a comment on my Disneyland post. I decided it was good enough for its own post. Here it is:

Disneyland is a magical place and a national treasure. In order to enjoy your time at Disneyland, you need to follow certain principles outlined below.

My Ten Commandments of Disneyland (in no particular order):

1. Get to the gates early; arrive at least 20 mins before the park opens. You have a limited amount of park time, don't waste it going through security or sleeping in.

2. Always hit Fantasyland first. When using Magic Morning entry, Peter Pan is your first priority. After Fantasyland, the world is your oyster.

3. Think ahead. Plan where you want to be in sixty minutes and get Fast Passes in advance if necessary. Grab switch passes even if you don't plan to use them right away. A switch pass in the hand is worth two in the bush.

4. Stop and smell the roses (and Dapper Dans). Despite the urgency to maximize your time, the best time at Disneyland is often chilling at the Corner Cafe under an umbrella or munching on a cookie at Pooh's Corner.

The famous photo of Sam enjoying the Dapper Dan's barbershop quartet

5. Aggressive politeness. Never overtly cut someone off or drill them with the stroller, but use passive aggressive techniques to make sure you don't lose a spot in line.

6. Don't leave anything in the park. Hit the park so hard that you can go 12-18 months without having any regrets about your time there. I think you need at least a 4 day parkhopper.

To quote Owen Wilson in Wedding Crashers, "Rule 76. No excuses...play like a champion."

7. Eat up. Pack lunches and snacks to defray the costs of food at the park, but don't be too miserly about the food. Disneyland has some good eats from Pooh's Corner Bakery to Gibson Girl's Ice Cream Parlor...indulge.

8. Mousewait. Use the App to track wait times in the park and see how your time is best utilized.

9. Diamonds in the Rough. I think there are some great rides/events that people ignore, such as Muppets 3D, Winnie the Pooh, Monsters Inc., Casey Jr., Regular Train, etc. Pick up a program and make sure you catch a parade, singing group, etc.

10. Lanyards & Pin trading. While lanyards and pins can be worn by all, pin trading should be reserved to kids. Get your kids a lanyard and a few pins, and they will be in hog heaven.

As Walt Disney so eloquently said, "I only hope that we don't lose sight of one thing -- that it was all started by a mouse."

Unfortunately, I needed one more day at the park. It's okay though, I already have the next trip planned out, and May 2012 will be here before you know it.

Guys Who Need a Swift Kick in the Face

2011-05-21T22:28:00.000-07:00

This list is just the beginning. Who am I missing?