Celebrities in Utah

I got an email today that made me smile--it is pure genious. In case you haven't seen it--This is what celebrities would look like if they moved to Utah:

Britney Spears in Panguitch

Tara Reid in Magna

Sarah Jessica Parker in Kamas

Sharon Stone in Bountiful

Paris Hilton in Draper

Nicole Kidman in Logan

Mary Kate and Ashley is Payson

Marc Anthony and J Lo in Ogden

Jennifer Aniston in Kearns

Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas in Grantsville

Cameron Diaz in Ephraim

The Beckhams in Bluffdale

Ashlee Simpson in Vernal

Gwen Stefani in Rose Park

Johnny Depp in Taylorsville

Pam Anderson in Kanab

Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner

It's no secret that Ryan (affectionately refered to at our house as "Dino" pronounced "Dee-no") has not been an easy baby. He is always sick (started life in the NICU, constant ear infections, tubes, sinus infections, etc), high maintence, likes to be held, loves to nurse, won't take a bottle, chubby (Okay, wait--that's a plus in my book!) and loves to sleep with me. Someday I'll do a really disturbing post where I will show pictures of my distorted body from holding a fat baby on my left hip all day long. But I'll spare you tonight.

Just when I thought this baby couldn't get any worse--he went out and totally redeemed himself. Overnight, he became adorable. He waves, he giggles, he does pattycake, he crawls with his big bum in the air, he cruises along furniture--he is so happy to have his freedom--he doesn't need me to hold him anymore. I couldn't be happier.

His pants are always undone--did I mention he's really chubby?

But the freedom comes at a price. He is into EVERYTHING. He has a sixth sense for the forbidden spots--the computer printer, Sammie's beloved dollhouse, and the bathrooms. If there is ever a quiet moment I immediately say "where is Dino?" and we all start looking for him in one of these spots.

I'd be mad if he wasn't so dang cute.

Then there is "the kiss." He gets really serious, takes my face in his hands and lays the sloppiest, wettest, softest kiss right on my lips. I'm in love.

Ryan getting all serious right before the kiss

Finally, on an unrelated note "When I'm wrong I say I'm wrong." (I'm on a Dirty Dancing kick!) So I was wrong about the Bachelor. I could love him. Yes, he's a small man and I'm a big woman but he is classy and I could love him. There I said it. And goodbye crazy crazy Shannon!

Okay--so I promise not to do 1 year post for Dino in a month so as not to lose all my readers!

Unless I change my mind.

7-11 I Salute You

Today Sam and I pulled up to my friend Joy's house to drop something off to her husband. She mentioned that she was craving a chocolate on chocolate donut from 7-11. Just hearing the words made my mouth water. I directed Sam to drive straight to the Sev and buy me and Joy some donuts.

The crowd is always a little sketchy at the Sev especially on Sundays but you cannot beat their donuts. I don't know where they're getting 'em but they are doing something right. I also purchased a super big gulp of diet coke. The combination was divine.

On the way back to Joy's, Sam and I had a conversation about fountain diet coke versus the can. I will only drink diet coke from a fountain. I'm too good for the can. Sam claims it makes no sense because only the can contains the precious nectar in its pristine state--no one mixing the CO-2 and syrup. I say fountain is better. What say all of you?

I would never buy vanilla coke--only diet coke for me.

My sister Ashley is looking into buying a mini-fountain for her home. She loves diet coke even more than I do. Take a look.

A Little Advice for the Ladies

I've been watching The Bachelor since the show started. I missed the season when the older guy with the long hair ended up choosing the hispanic girl that Bob Guinney cut. I think those two are still together. I also missed the Andrew Firestone season. Other than that--I've seen 'em all. I know I shouldn't be bragging about this. It's just a fact.

I've embarrassed myself at more than one of Sam's work parties when I become too animated discussing the show. In case you are wondering, my two favorite bachelors were Andy Baldwin (an officer and a gentlemen!) and prince Lorenzo. Don't be a hater. I just thought he was cute.

Where were we? Oh yeah, so after watching so many episodes, I have some advice for the ladies. Sam always says the show does nothing to advance the cause of women. It's because they make fools of themselves. So here are some words of wisdom to help them out.

1. Don't get drunk. I know the alcohol is free and flowing--remember, you are there to find true love. Don't get wasted.

2. Don't do party tricks on the first night. Remember last season when that one girl ripped open a beer can with her teeth? Then that other one did a back handspring in her dress. Still another pulled the bachelor aside and sang him a song in her best opera voice. None of this is getting you anywhere. We are all cringing at home. Stop.

3. Never, under any circumstances, remove your panties and give them to the bachelor.

4. Don't be catty--at least have the good sense not to slander another girl on camera--it is unbecoming.

5. Leave with dignity. Don't cry, don't swear, don't go crazy. Don't say how it was meant to be. Don't talk about the wedding you had all planned out for you and Jason. Just go quietly into the night.

Now that we have that all cleared up, one of my favorite bloggers Mandee did a post about The Bachelor. Her husband thinks this season is going to be the most dramatic rose ceremony yet when Jason chooses the host Chris Harrison. I'll be watching!

Drugstore Beauty

I'm pretty low maintenance. (Just ask Sam--no wait, don't!) Some of my favorite products can be picked up your local drugstore. I prefer Walmart. I know many of you are down on the place but you can't beat the prices or the return policy. So here are a few of the things I've been using for years:

Sally Hansen's AirBrush legs

I started wearing tan cream when I was 12 years old. No one had even heard of it back then. To this day, I hate the smell of the stuff and the fact that it takes about 12 hours to work. Then I found this product. I love it because it is absolutely odorless. It is instant--you spray it on and voila! Tan legs. It is supposed to be a replacement for panty hose but who wears those anyway? I just like that it is not super dark or fake looking and I don't have to think ahead. Obviously, this is only for legs. If I really need to look hot/skinny/both--I head to the tanning beds for the spray on tan. They are awesome.

Oil of Olay Moisure Lotion with SPF 15I've worn this under my makeup everyday for as long as I can remember. It is cheap, light, non-greasy and of course has sunscrean in it.

Oil of Olay Face Wash

Awesome. I have no idea why anyone would pay good money for a name brand cleanser from the make up counter.

Johnson's Baby Oil

This is the only thing that takes off my mascara and eye make-up. Nothing else works for me.

Bath and Body Works Lip Gloss
I know this is not technically drugstore but it is still cheap. I hate lipstick. Like so much. I love this lip gloss with spf 15. I usually buy the tinted version.

Finally, Goop

This isn't a beauty product but I had to include it. My good friend Heidi introduced me to Goop. I use it on stains in the laundry. You have to buy it in the automotive department at Walmart. You just rub some of it on the stain and throw the item in the wash. It takes out ketchup, oil, baby poop. It's a miracle product. Give it a try.

Now, what are your favorite drugstore beauty products?

Happy Birthday Dog!

Today is Sam's birthday. He made me promise and swear that I wasn't going to do a tribute to him on my blog. He doesn't like attention. I know, it's weird. After thinking about it, I decided it's my blog and I put what I want on it. So here are 34 things about Sam. Don't kill me Babe!

1. I call him Dog or sometimes Babe.
2. He is a rabid Steelers Fan.
3. The highlight of his life was attending a Steeler's game in San Diego in 2006. Thanks Pandy and Mark! He couldn't stop talking about the pomp and the pageantry of Monday Night Football.


4. He wears a Steelers jersey to watch the games at home.
5. He is the world's best dad.



6. He doesn't like going out with other couples. He would rather just go out with me.
7. Sam makes delicious oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.
8. He only uses milk chocolate chips--thinks semi-sweet are an abomination.
9. He is the funniest person I know.
10. Sam is obsessed with seeing someone he knows wherever we go--especially the airport. However, he doesn't really like to talk to people--he just wants to see them. Celebrity sightings are okay but he really likes to see an acquaintance or someone from "real life."
11. Sam is an attorney and does litigation defense work and criminal defense.



12. He finished our basement with his dad.
13. He says he would quit the law for manual labor if it paid as well as the law.
14. Sam grew up in Pittsburgh and Salt Lake City.
15. He played football and basketball in high school.
16. He was one of two boys who lettered their sophomore year in football for the varsity team. He brings this up a lot--glory days.
17. Sam loves mexican food, sushi, and anywhere with a basket of chips or bread.


18. He is a bit snobby about chain restaurants. He turns his nose up at Chilis and the OG
19. He loves to travel--especially to tropical locations.
20. He loves to bike--he goes on 4 hour rides almost every Saturday in the summer. He served his mission in Belgium and France and dreams of returning during the Tour de France.



21. He is religious about working out--he gets on the treadmill almost every night.
22. He loves the tv show 24. He also loves Damages and Burn Notice.



23. Sam thinks Stephen Colbert is the funniest man alive.



24. He also loves Tony Cornheiser and the show PTI.


25. He loves Jessica Simpson--not her music--her!



26. He loves Disneyland more than any child. He would like to go every year.


27. He just experienced a mid life crisis and purchased a 4-door jeep wrangler. I'm waiting to be replaced with a trophy wife.
28. Sam makes "the big breakfast" for the kids at least once a week--we're talking pancakes, eggs, sausage, bacon, OJ--the works. My kids are going to be obese.
29. Sam is obsessed with this huge Walmart distribution center outside of St. George. Everytime we pass it, he loves to talk about how large it is. I'm working on getting him inside for a tour.


30. Sam is a good golfer.
31. Sam loves country music--I converted him. He also loves old school rap and knows a lot of questionable lyrics.
32. He thinks the second hour of church is optional.
33. Sam is one of the most giving people I know. He is constantly doing pro bono legal work or helping people move, etc. Just this week he offered to sell a kidney to pay for something I wanted. He was dead serious.
34. He is still my favorite person on the planet.


Happy Birthday Dog--I love you!

Membership Has its Priveleges

I just became a Gap Silver card member. This is a BIG deal to me. You don't just wake up one day and say I'm going to be Gap silver. You set your mind to it. You make a goal and you stick to it. You blow lots of money on kids' clothes they don't really need. You leave bags in the car until you can bring them in after the hubby has gone to bed. When he asks about your new turtleneck, you say "this old thing?"

Then you become Gap Silver.

My obsession began last year when I saw my mom using her Gap Silver card. I had the regular white and blue card. Hers was just so pretty. Then I found out she got free shipping--no minimum purchase. I was sold. I was doing pretty well plodding along through the year spending a little each month. Then it came right down to the wire. I was about $60 short in December. I bought Sammie a hot pink parka and snowsuit for next year and it put me over the top.

Thar she blows:


The card actually sparkles.

I took her to the Gap yesterday to christen her. Nevermind the fact that Sammie started screaming that her legs didn't work and made me hold her for 30 minutes while I shopped. I pushed Ryan in the stroller and my mom and I piled up the merchandise. Some of my favorite things I bought for Ryan:

The only thing I bought Luke: (poor kid)


My favorites for Sammie:

My mom actually bought Sammie this rashguard and the cutest pink polka dot swimsuit. It is sold out or I would show you a photo.

However, when we got home, Sammie told me she HATES this dress. She means it. I love it and I'm returning it because I know she will win the battle come this summer when I try to put it on her.

Back to Gap Silver. Just think how much I'm going to save this year on free shipping. I couldn't afford not to get it!