Sunday, August 23, 2009

Mingling with the Country Folk

Last night, Sam and I went to see Trace Atkins and Toby Keith in concert. Trace is a good singer but not a great performer. Toby is the whole package. He is a true entertainer.

If you have never been to a country music concert, let me give you a little education. The beer is flowing, there is a lot of skin, and people slow dance in the aisles. I saw one couple who I'm sure were trying to conceive a child--It is a redneck crowd. I hesitated to do this post on the heels of my Lagoon post because I knew I would look like a snob but could I really deny you these pictures?

This is your typical male fan--always a lot of camo and sleeveless shirts.

You always get the die-hard, old school, horse-lovin' crowd--nothing like a horse stampede to accentuate your behind.

The classic male pony.

The tank-top twins. If you look closely, you will see that each twin has identical tattoos on her chest.

There is a strong Harley Davidson presence at country concerts.

It's a big night--pull out the leather bra.

For your viewing pleasure--the back view.

Frayed-edge sleevless collared button down on man. Always a good look.

Jack Sparrow look-alike:

Unfortunately for me, this chick was my view for the entire Trace Adkins portion of the show.

I'm all for standing up and dancing at concerts but you have to follow the crowd. In this case, the entire crowd was seated during Trace's performance--the entire crowd except her. She swayed and danced to her own beat. Her shirt kept falling further and further down. Everyone started yelling at her to sit down, which she didn't take kindly to. Sam stood up and pulled his shirt down over one shoulder and imitated her dance. Everyone loved it. He got high fives from about 10 people around us.

This is a close-up of her upper back tat: It says "Daddy's Little Girl." Daddy must be so proud.

At one point, all four of these classy ladies were standing in front of us. We finally moved to other seats. Eventually they got in a fight with the women next to them and were thrown out of the concert. Yippee!


Kim said...

Oh, You make me laugh!! Love it!

Sam said...

I offered to buy the women a beer if they would sit down. They declined. The one in the pink turned around and in slurred speech said, "You need to give the artists the respect they deserve." If she really believed that she would have either left the stadium or put on a different outfit.

I continued to shout, "Down in front." No luck. I asked security to intervene. No luck. I mocked them to the delight of the crowd. No luck. We finally moved to an open section of seats.

The one on the far right kept turning around and staring at me, so being an adult, I yelled, "Take a picture; it'll last longer," while making the gesture of holding a camera. She mouthed backed, "F*%! you," which another member of her entourage quickly repeated.

Tragically, we weren't there when the fight broke out and missed their police escort out of USANA. Some friends nearby updated us w/text messages during the show. It just goes to show you that you can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can't take the trailer park out of the girl.


Linda said...

Great photos!! Every one of them could have been in the back of Glamour magazine on the "DON'TS" list! I was hoping you had a photo of Sam imitating the shoulder-less sweetie. Now that would be good!

leandparkermakes3 said...

Where on earth do you even purchase a leather bra?

Em said...

You're justa couple Camaro shirts away from a Monster Truck rally.

I wonder that your hubby isn't a tortured soul with his conflicting mix of hard ghetto rapper v. quasi-white trash country singer (Flo Rida v. Toby Keith). Such versatility is rarely seen--especially in such rapid blog succession. :)

Hilarious post. Hi-larious.

nic said...

Sweet concert and even better photos. I love the outfits.

The Mostess said...

Shut the hell up. Those people cannot be real. I refuse to believe it. This is why I cannot stand country music--the country folk that follow it. Ugh.

Entertaining ladies, though. When we saw DM 3 years ago, we had fake lesbians trash-ily dancing and almost kissing and trying to tease the audience with their lame performance. The crowd wasn't having it at all, and someone finally threw something at them. But not before my sister pulled a Sam and danced all up in my business mockingly, much to the delight of the crowd. The "ladies" were apparently not in their real seats, and got dragged back to the lawn by security. Haha. Good riddance trashy chicks!!

shelby said...

My favorite is the leather bra chick! She honestly got up put that on and said to herself....dang I look good! ha ha

Liz said...

You're post totally entertained Bill and I last night. Hope you're surviving first day of first grade. Are you room mom yet? Can I nominate you? I'll help.

Brandi said...

You kill me. I need my daily dose of your blog before I can start cleaning the house and making wheat bread. Now I can start my day right.

Melissa Walker said...

I hear ya sister--try Country Thunder next year--Five DAYS of country concerts in a field in Wisconsin. You buy a five day pack of concert tickets and then camp out there. There were some sunburned, drunk rednecks out there I'll tell ya!

lindsey said...

Oh. My. Gosh.

That is AWESOME.

Mostess--I totally agree with you. If country music doesn't have the heart to tell these people they don't want them, I don't want country music.

Jill said...

You and Sam must have looked like fish out of water in such a crowd! I would love to see a photo of you two with all this country fashion going on behind you. How funny.

I've gone to many Indigo Girls concerts in my day, and man oh man was I a fish out of water there!

Jaime said...

Can we PLEASE come with you to your new concert outing? Please!

Heather said...

I don't know where you buy a leather bra, but I would sure like to know where to shop for the self-esteem these people seem to have. Or the magical mirrors they are looking in before they leave home.

Mandee said...

Sam is crazy, and Em is right on. I was thinking the same thing about him. He just looks like such a nice, polite, reserved white boy. But then he starts spewing rap lyrics and is heckling hard core, drunk, country trash- it's actually impressive.

Anonymous said...

Hi Brooke, Good to run into you today. I will get your email address off FB and send you an invite to my blog. Yours is hilarious! I really enjoyed the tips for the road trip. Very funny! Sarah

Ashley said...

Jack Sparrow is the best.

What's wrong with a leather bra?

Lorzzz said...

kj1Dang -I wish I could have seen Sam dance!

Anonymous said...

You are so funny. Great post. It reminds me of going to Kenny Chesney this summer. We got the opportunity to watch two "real" lesbians grope each other throughout the entire concert. The highlight of the night... really! I will call you today about the cabinets. We got a good laugh from your comment about Luke and the Wii. Talk to you soon!

sheena said...

Hi! I found your blog through Denae' it!! thank you thank you for these photos...I'm dying!! made my day!

sheryl said...

When I hired new employees we took the tour, then went over company policy.... 1. No stealing, (yes they needed to be reminded often) 2. No country music! 3. No show means no job.

Thats the big three.

So funny you took photos of all the people I work with now. How did you find yourself there with them?

jrushing said...

Wow what a great group of people! I can't believe--well you were at a country music concert so I guess seeing them was to be expected! Love the leather bra!

Francie said...

I can assure you, the Toby Keith fans in Oklahoma don't look like that. jk :)Your blog is so funny--love it!

Francie (Aaron Lancaster's mom)

p.s. you are still gorgeous!!