Tuesday, October 30, 2012

October Madness

October is the craziest month of the year.  The only way I get through it is by pounding a huge Costco bag of candy and drinking lots of Diet Coke.

Here are the five major Halloween activities we have plowed through enjoyed:

First, Cornbelly's Fall Festival with the kids.  This place has grown exponentially over the last few years.  Moments after we got there, I was able to snap this picture (the money shot) of my kids:

Then it all went down hill.  Kids were crying, begging for dinner...the evening ended with me yelling at everyone to get in the damn car!   Just a funny side note...last year, my mom took my kids to Cornbelly's in the afternoon and they weren't open yet.  So my mom just took the kids out and they did all the activities anyway..for 2 HOURS!  A true Wally World experience.  Finally a worker came and told my mom they weren't open and my mom played dumb..."oh okay..we will leave right now!"  haha.

One more picture before it all went to Hell:


Second, the pumpkin patch.  My parents got invited to a shindig with donuts and hot chocolate at some random pumpkin patch in South Jordan.  My kids and I tagged along.  It was crazy but we got some cute pictures.  Then Buster melted down when I wouldn't allow him to eat a second donut.  I love this picture:

Third, the Ward Halloween party.  Luckily, my mom watched Buster for me because my sanity was at stake.  Sammie wanted us to be witches this year. I busted out some incredibly long silver eyelashes and black lipstick.  Once we got there, I felt more like streetwalker than a witch!

Fourth, I took my kids to our gym's Spooktacular.  It should have been called the Craptacular.  I got sucked in by the Monsters Inc theme and my little boys love Monsters Inc.  It was crowded (I hate crowds!) and there were lame activites (think fruit loop necklaces) and shizzy refreshments.  Boo!

Shockingly, my older kids liked it more than my younger ones:

Ryan doing the "pin the eye on Mike Wizowski"

The highlight of the whole thing for me was seeing this darling toddler dressed as Richard Simmons:

Fifth, I got up this morning and made Halloween cut-out cookies with my little guys.  I felt like mom of the year.  Check out Ry Ry's awesome bedhead:

I dressed up and helped at Ryan's preschool party today then I came home and packaged up the cookies--perfect end of the month visiting teaching..my M.O.:

I had planned to do Witches Night Out at Gardner Village and some other activities but some pretty serious Halloween fatigue started to set in at the end of last week. Now I am trying to rally for the school Halloween parties tomorrow and Trick or Treating tomorrow night.

Anyone else feeling the Halloween fatigue?

Monday, October 29, 2012

Am Not a Fan

Yesterday, I did a post of my latest loves.  Hopefully this post is too much of a Debbie Downer but there are plenty of things I am not a fan of right now.  

Here are some:

Not a Fan of speeding tickets.  Got one on the way to the gym last week.  And the kicker--I was on probation from my last ticket.  I am taking this one to trial.  Because I have a strong case I have nothing to lose.

Not a Fan of the manager of Ann Taylor at Fashion Place.  She was rude about my little boys running around in the store.  She also wouldn't let me keep my rewards points on a return where the employee put the wrong shirt in my bag the night before.  It's a long story but Corporate is involved and I may or may not ever be shopping at Ann Taylor again..at least not the Fashion Place location.  I still love the ladies at the City Creek location.

Not a Fan of Hagermann's in Draper folding up.  I went there the other day and they were gone.  No personal call, no notice.  I feel like someone has died.  May the turkey pomodoro rest in peace.  The worst is--I almost had my punch card filled up!

Not a Fan of the first snowfall in October.  It is too early for snow.  I can honestly say I could go the rest of my life and never see the white stuff again and be just fine.  And I'm a skier so that is saying something.

Not a Fan of Golden Spoon no longer accepting the City Deals gift certificates I bought.  This is the second time it has happened with Golden Spoon.  City Deals and Golden Spoon are both dead to me.

Not a Fan of my gym's Spooktacular.  I paid 24 bucks to get my four kids in and it was super crummy.  My friend Susan and I dragged around 7 complaining kids between us and vowed never to go back.

Not a Fan of Rihanna getting back together with Chris Brown.  And I thought I did dumb stuff.  Wow.

Not a Fan of being sick.  Currently fighting a nasty cold.  Blegh.

Not a Fan of missing remotes.  The remote for our main tv went missing three days ago.  I am about to call the authorities and have them put out an Amber alert.  But I keep thinking it is going to turn up.  We are dying here--stuck on one channel.  My nighttime viewing options consist of Spongebob and Full House. 

Not a Fan of people coming to my house to buy my crap from KSL and not bringing enough cash.  One dude came to pick up about five nice things.  I told him on the phone it was 40 dollars.  He got to my house and asked if 35 would be okay.  I reluctantly said yes.  He dug through his pockets and came up with 33 bucks.  I told him to hit the ATM and come back with 40.  Cheapskate..he was already getting a bargain!

What are you Not a Fan of?

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Am a Fan

My friend Marta has an amazing blog. A reoccurring post she does on her blog is called "Am a Fan" and she lists her latest loves. I am copying her today.

Am a fan of Bath and Body Works holiday scent soaps. Especially Citrus Garland.

Am a fan of McDonald's holiday mint Mcflurry. Delicious. Egg nog...not so much.

Am a fan of my new black and white skirt from Ann Taylor.  I even got it on sale.  Someday I will wear something besides black and white to church!

Am a fan of Zurchers coming to Draper! (11400 South and State)

Am a fan of my new Conair curling wand. What on earth was I doing trying to do beachy waves with the old clamp style curling iron. This is 1000x easier.

Am a fan of SequinsandStilettos, a fashion blog. I think she has great real-life affordable outfits for moms.

Am a fan of Chili's again! When I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong. And I was wrong about Chili's. Have you had their chips and salsa? And Quesadilla Explosion salad?  And Molten Chocolate Cake? I went on a date there and I am sold!!

Am a fan of selling toys on KSL. I have made about 150 bucks selling old toys from my basement. Super easy. Now I need to learn to sell on Ebay.

Am a fan of Expressionary.com. I ordered my mom a stamp for her birthday and she was thrilled..You can get 35% off right now by using code "VLEX12".  This is a great gift idea for that person who has everything. (Linda Warner I am looking at you!)

Am a fan of blogging! I just hit my four year blogiversary. Don't send gifts. That would just be weird. Remember my first post!

Friday, October 26, 2012

Leader of the Pack

Me in Luke's scout shirt.  Please don't tell him.

I am currently the assistant den mother for the Wolf pack in our ward.  Don't be jealous.  To be honest, it has not been my favorite calling.  8 year old boys have a lot of energy and a warped sense of humor.  My son is no exception.  And we get them right after school, every Wednesday, for an hour.

I have struggled to get my heart into scouting in general.  It is all so corny--the cheers at pack meeting, the requirements, the horrible outfits.  I get the heeby-jeebies just walking into the scouting store.   I spent about four hours at Cub Country this last summer and it was the longest day of my life.  There were women leaders up there wearing the scout shirt.  Did you know those babies cost like 80 bucks?

Do you think they could come up with a more unflattering look for ladies?

The best thing that ever happened to me with scouting was finding this stuff called Badge Magic.  It is for us moms who are lazy who don't sew.  You stick the badges on the uniform and they never come off.  Now that is an idea I can get behind!

We had the Pinewood derby on Tuesday night.  As a single mother who never had anything to do with the derby in the past, I had no idea what this was all about.  On Sunday night, Luke pulled his car out of the box.  It was a block of wood.  THEY EXPECT US TO CUT THE BLOCK OF WOOD INTO A FREAKING CAR!  Luke said "Don't worry mom..I can use my pocket knife!"  Umm, no.  Luckily, my awesome home teachers were over visiting (the ones who gave me the makeover) and Steve said he had a car Luke could borrow.  Saved again.

Horrible lighting on this picture

In the Mormon culture, it is kind of a big deal for boys to get their Eagle (an advanced scout rank.)  It involves lots of camp outs, merit badges and a huge project at the end.  I have three boys.  I started doing the math on how many more years I might have to be a den mother or be involved in the scouting program.  Somewhere around 15 years! 

Then the other night as I was googling where to put Luke's badges on his uniform, it hit me what I have to do.  I came across this awesome photo of Destiny's Child.  Guess what I am wearing to next month's pack meeting:

Do you think this would get me fired from scouts forever?

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

The Universe Is Trying to Tell Me to Stop Shopping

I had three horrible incidents in the past week that occurred during shopping trips.

#1.  I was at Walmart on Friday and I got a call from the secretary at my kids' school telling me that Luke had a seizure in the school lunch line, passed out and hit his head.  I was standing in the deli section looking at the ham and cheese.  My heart stopped and I couldn't even think.  I instantly started crying and a worker told me just to leave and he would take care of my cart full of groceries (as if I was worried about that..but I appreciated the gesture.)

By the time I got to school, the ambulance was outside with the lights flashing.  I hurried inside and saw the gurney outside the office.  When I got to Luke, he looked totally fine except that he was covered in syrup.  The EMTs told me they didn't think he had a seizure..just passed out and landed on a girl's lunch tray. Other than Luke telling the EMTs some stuff about Ryan learning how to flip the bird, no harm done.  Luke was only concerned about getting his faux hawk back up and we headed home. 

But I will tell you, in that short drive to the school from Walmart, a lot of things got put into perspective for me.  All of the stupid little things I stress about completely disappeared and I was just concerned about my amazing, sweet, smart boy.  I am still so glad he is okay.

In his new blazer and tie on Sunday.  He doesn't wear the 'hawk to church

#2.  I was at Harmon's yesterday back in the ham and cheese section again (maybe the universe is trying to tell me to not make chicken cordon bleu for dinner!)  All of a sudden, I heard a man yelling at the top of his lungs at the woman next to me.  I heard her say "They're not my children."  I looked over and Buster was running around with a roasting stick (for roasting marsh mellows.)  The man began yelling at me "Your kids are F-ing out of control...you need to control your children!)  He picked the wrong lady to yell at, especially about my kids.  I screamed back in his face "It's none of your damn business!  My kids are fine. Get away from me!"  I was seriously ready to jump on his back and kill him with my bare hands.  Remember this incident?  Yeah..like that.

Right at that moment, his mentally handicapped grown adult son jumped out holding a roasting stick and yelling the F word at me.  Mayhem people!


 I just grabbed my kids and started down the aisle.  My neighbor Tom English happened to walk up right at that moment and asked what was going on.  I told him and burst into tears.  He gave me a quick hug and then went busting over to the two men  and yelled "You got a problem..you deal with me!"  I honestly thought they were going to go to blows!  Loooong story short, the two men were escorted from the store by security and I got a 25$ gift card for my troubles.  I was very very grateful for my awesome neighbor for being in the right place at the right time.

#3.  Today I was at Gymboree with Buster and he was begging for my 44 oz Diet Coke.  Yes, the child loves Diet Coke..I'm a sub par mom.  I gave it to him to pacify him and moments later he dropped it on the floor and it sprayed all over a rack of clothing.  While I was cleaning it up with an entire roll of paper towels..he came and walked through it and slipped and fell into the mess...getting completely wet.  This incident was the most minor of the three but it was a nightmare to clean up.

Soooo, I am avoiding any kind of store for the next while.  I guess I can't stop shopping completely.  I still have to return to Walmart to pay for the half eaten bag of Snicker's bars that were in my cart when we rushed out!

Saturday, October 13, 2012

True Blue

I have been to every BYU home game this year.  That is saying something since I only went to one (1!) BYU game in my entire married life.  Last year, I took Luke to one game as part of my law school reunion weekend.  So this year was the turning point for me.  And I LOVED it.  I forgot what I had been missing.  The picture at the top of the post is from the game today..it was a "blackout" meaning everyone had to wear black..which felt very strange for a BYU game (usually blue and white.)

Here are my random thoughts about going to BYU games:

1.  I love having something to get excited about.  I put flags on my car on game day (though I no longer drive around town with them for fear of getting keyed.)  I now just drive to the games and back.  We actually lost a flag on the way home today.  It flew off the car and I sent Luke running into traffic to try to retrieve it.  After he got out of the car, I realized it was a horrible idea.  He didn't die but the flag did.  Someone ran over it.  Bummer.

2.  I believe in buying gear for the games.  I liken it to going to the beach..you don't go unprepared.  I have two t-shirts..one in blue and one in white..because sometimes the tickets call for a white-out (where everyone has to wear white) and sometimes you gotta wear blue.  I got my cute white fitted BYU tee at Old Navy and my blue one at the bookstore.  My friend Susan bought U of U tees at Victoria Secret and they are the cutest ever...Unfortunately, BYU doesn't license with VS (shocker!) so I had to resort to ON.

3.  My kids have gear too.  Sammie got a darling BYU tee at Walmart of all places (with lace and rhinestones on it) and Luke has a jersey and some awesome under armour dri-fit BYU gear. I want my kids to love BYU and want to go there.  Buying them the gear is all part of my grand plan!

4.  I also have stadium chairs. I am getting old because I consider these mandatory if you have bleacher seats, which we do.

5.  The last two games, we ate at the Brick Oven before the game.  All of the workers wear BYU shirts and it just feels so old school BYU in there.  I totally love it..and the pizza and salad bar are second to none!  Last time we were there, Cosmo came in to greet everyone...gotta love it!  

6.  With that said, I do love me a stadium dog.  And nachos.  And a Cougar tail (huge maple bar) and mint brownie.  I blow the wad on food at the games.  But this is not a time to go hungry.

7.  I BELIEVE (as in I have a firm testimony of) getting to the game EARLY and getting the car parked.  Last year, I had to pay some college kid 20 bones to let me park in his spot after the game had started.  Never again.  Now I get to the game a couple hours early..get the car parked...then we hit the bookstore, walk around campus and enjoy ourselves until the game starts.  It is not pretty to see me stressing the parking situation.  

8.  I feel bad for anyone who has to wear the band uniform..specifically the pants.  I happened to be in a spot where I watched the band walk past me today and I don't think they could have designed more ill-fitting pants.  These things are WHITE, short and made of some horrible, clingy fabric.  If I had to wear those, I would be in Spanx from waist to ankle.  Bless their hearts.  

9.  It's a great date activity.  Plenty of time to talk.  One of my requirements for a husband is that he has to be a BYU fan.  It may be shallow but I don't care.  It's what I want.   Me and my friend John (and because I know you are wondering..yes, I am back in the dating pool!)

10.  I love the memories I am making with my kids.  It is a great way for me and Luke to have one-on-one time...or for me to teach Sammie how to flip someone off with flare (the thumb up in addition to the bird!)  Don't worry..we didn't flip anyone off...we were just discussing it on the way home.  We have some good laughs and I am grateful to my dad for providing the tickets!