Wednesday, January 25, 2012

American Girl Doll Store aka the Time Grandma Linda Completely Blew the Wad

The whole purpose of the girls' trip was to take the little girls to the American Girl Doll Store in LA and it did not disappoint. Friday morning, we got up and drove first to South Coast Plaza, a true shopping destination. If you know anything about the Warner women, you know that for us, a beautiful shopping mall is better than any natural landmark or stuffy museum.

South Coast plaza was huge and we didn't have anywhere near enough time to do it justice. I spent a good portion of my time in Nordstrom dealing with an exchange of the awesome Hobo wallet I gave myself for Christmas. Mine was defective and I am getting a new one in the mail any day...because I know you care.

Anyhoo, after trying on swimsuits at Nordy's and spending our gymbucks at Gymboree, we met up with my sis-in-law Sarah and headed north to LA.

The American Girl store was so cute. It is in an outdoor shopping center with a trolley driving people around and palm trees...Heaven. We had the most fabulous lunch...seriously! Best food of the trip. We started with little sweet rolls, then they brought out more appetizers, our entrees and then these cute dessert plates. That little flower pot is was all divine.

Don't think I didn't eat every thing that wasn't glued to the table. See post where I completely blew my fitness plan.

The cafe had little chairs and plates for the dolls and everything was hot pink and black! We ate out on the balcony and the weather was perfect. I never wanted to leave.

Then we shopped in the store. Just like Sammie, I found a doll that is my mini-me!

Grandma completely spoiled the little girls and they each left with a big bag of goodies:

Then we got back on the freeway and I drove two hours in the LA traffic back south (THANK GOODNESS for the Garmin!) What on earth did we do before navigation?!

My mom and I met my friends Greg and Julie for dinner at the Yard House. We had a blast and then drove back to my brother's house for the night (totally flashed out photo):

When we got there, Sammie and her cousin Kate had put out a display of their dolls and funny!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Girls' Trip 2012 aka The Time I Totally Blew My Fitness Plan

Last week, Sammie, my mom and I went on a short girls' trip to Southern California. We met up with my sis-in-law Sarah and her daughter Kate. Both Sammie and Kate got American Girl dolls for Christmas so the point of the trip was to visit the American Girl doll store in LA. Wow. It was fantastic!

We flew in Wednesday night and ate at California Pizza kitchen. This was no small victory for me because my mom has never been a fan of CPK. But I think the chopped BBQ chicken salad and tortilla soup won her over.

I am going to divide the trip into two parts--Disneyland and LA (lucky you!)

Thursday morning we woke up bright and early and headed to Disneyland. (First time ever without a stroller!) I was able to talk a worker into letting us into the park an hour early even though we didn't have the early entry passes. There may or may not have been some deceit involved.

I have always wanted to eat lunch at the Blue Bayou...something about being on Pirates and looking up at all those lucky people eating in there and the sound of the silverware tinkling. Since we didn't have my other kids, we ate there. It was good but very expensive.

Our favorite thing was the salad...delicious. I didn't realize the Monte Cristo sandwich was deep fried and I had to kind of pick my way through it.

The rest of the day was really fun. My brother Rex and his family joined us.

Sammie loves the big rides like California Screamin' and Space Mountain. The park was really empty and we walked on most of the rides.

The weather was perfect. I am sold on Disneyland in January. The best part was that "It's a Small World" still had the lights up and the "Christmas overlay" which was adorable.

And we happened to catch a parade right at the end of the night. Disneyland doesn't do anything half-way:

On the way out of the park I got the most delicious almond hot chocolate...probably the best treat at Disneyland next to the peanut butter cookies at Pooh Corner! Tomorrow I will post about LA!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

No Ifs. Ands, or Jiggly Butts (or arms)

About this time last year, I did Club Phat. It dang near ruined my life. So like an idiot, I am doing another weight loss competition again. I started last week. Honestly, I don't have a ton of weight to lose this time, I just really want to eat better, i.e. less junk, and be inspired to get in really great shape.

So my friend Kaari started a contest called Flab to Fit where we get points for working out and a point for every pound we lose. Simple. Which is what I love about it. No points for getting sleep, eating veggies, or drinking water. Which is good because I suck at all three. I love that you can get as many points as you want for working out and since I work out almost every day anyway, that one is easy.

My main goal in all of this is to lose five pounds (that I put on over Christmas) and firm up my lunch lady arms. I am a Warner. It is my destiny to carry weight in my upper arms (hi mom!) (Except Ashley, I don't know how she avoided chubby arms.) In fact, I got my body fat tested at the gym and it was 21% going off my leg and stomach measurements and freaking 26% going off the back of my ham hock arm! So I am going to be focusing on lifting more weight with my arms and eating less Oreos. Oreos=fat arms in my world.

So here is my plan (notice everything is moderation...I don't do well with hard and fast rules or strict diets.)

1. Get my can to the gym everyday for an hour.

2. Lift weights at least twice a week..focusing on my arms (increasing weight.)

3. Cut back on junk food. I have already lost 3 pounds in the first week by merely cutting back (not cutting out!) junk food. I have a serious addiction. I was eating a whore's breakfast of Oreos and diet coke and then going to work out. Insanity people! Now I eat oatmeal for breakfast...small changes make a big difference.

4. Get more protein in my diet...protein shakes, protein bars, hamburgers, Costco dogs (whatever..I don't worry about fat..for me cutting out the sugar and junk food allows me to eat whatever real food I want.)

5. I try to only drink the black acid (Diet Coke) when I go out to eat or when I really really want one.

That's it. Simple right? Six weeks and I am going to be a new woman. Let's DO THIS!

Sunday, January 15, 2012

The Dance

Right after the holidays, I was having some bad days, more specifically, some bad nights. For me, the grief of my divorce hits me after my kids are in bed, when the house is quiet and I have time to think. The mornings are hard too, right when I wake up and I remember that this is my life, and I am really getting divorced, and it wasn't all a bad dream. Sam and I have been separated for over five months so I am used to being alone. I think I have come to terms with my current situation. What is hard for me, is how to deal with the past.

Divorce is hard on so many levels. I could never possibly explain to someone who has not been through it, all the ways it hurts. And it hurts in a different way than it would hurt if your spouse died. I mentioned in my earlier post about my divorce that I don't know what to do with my memories. I got married at 21 and have been married my entire adult life. Every memory I have from adulthood includes Sam. We went through law school together, worked in Washington D.C. together. We got our first jobs, bought our first home and took vacations and trips together. We had four kids together. We experienced all of the excitement and hard times that goes along with that, together.

And I don't know what to do with those memories now that our marriage is over. It makes me feel like a part of me is gone. I am crying even as I type this because no one else will ever really know me the way Sam did. He has seen me at my very best and my very worst. He knows me so intimately and knows all the funny stories of my past. He was the witness to my life, so to speak. I worry that whoever I end up in the future, will only be getting a part of me..the current me. My history will be boxed up in photo albums and old blog posts. My future husband will never know the whole me.

I talked to my counselor about these feelings and for the first time since I started seeing her, she really didn't have any answers for me. She simply said, "that is one more thing to mourn."

But tonight, as I was doing dishes and listening to my ipod, Garth Brook's "The Dance" came on. As I was listening to the words, it made me realize that I'm glad I didn't know the way it all would end with Sam. I'm grateful for the 13 amazing years we spent together. I'm happy that I was able to have a best friend and lover in my life and even though the time has come that we have to go our separate ways, I am grateful we had "the dance." I don't regret marrying Sam. We had something special. And it's okay to be sad that it's over.

As for the memories, I don't know. Hopefully, with time, I will make sense of all of it. That part of my life still made me who I am today. So even if the past is tainted a bit by my present situation, it isn't gone.

"Our lives are better left to chance. I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance. Video here:

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Girl's Day

Sammie and I spent all day together running errands, getting my eyebrows waxed, shopping, etc. I have said it before but I will say it again. She is God's gift to my world. I love my boys more than I can express (they are my three lovey-dovey snuggly boyfriends who say "I love you mom" and kiss me all day long.) But Sammie is different. She isn't lovey dovey and isn't quick to hug. You have to earn her affection. But today as we were walking down the mall, she took my hand and it made my heart leap.

She cracked me up all day talking about how this was a "girls' day" and how she can't wait for our girls' trip we are taking this week with my mom and my sis-in-law and neice. She mentioned that on our girl trip we aren't going to eat any boy food. We are only going to eat girl food like salads.

I had to run my ipad into the Apple store to get it fixed. Don't get me started on the workers in there...that is a post for another day..WOW. Basically my little boys have ruined the area on my ipad where you plug the charger in. On the way home, Sammie said "When they grow up and get ipads, you need to go to their houses and ruin their chargers...that is what I call PAYBACK." What the? Scary right?

Anyhoo, she is so fun. I am so excited to have the same kind of relationship with my daughter that I have with my mom. Speaking of my mom, Linda would have been proud with Sammie's shopping stamina today...Five hours on her feet going from store to store...that's my girl!

Friday, January 13, 2012

Backhanded Compliment

After my barbell class at the gym today, a girl approached me and said "I loved standing behind you in class."

I wasn't sure what she was getting at, but I was sure a compliment was coming...maybe she loved my outfit, maybe she thought I had great form and liked following me, maybe she even thought I had a great caboose.

Nope. None of those. She said "I loved standing behind you because I knew I wasn't the whitest person in the class." She then walked away.

Thanks...I guess.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

It's Just A Phase I'm Going Through

I got bangs. The day after I said I never would. Never say never right? I went to see my hairdresser Holly today and it was the perfect storm of 1) having admired Rachel's bangs on the Bachelor last night 2) Holly suggested that I get bangs and assured me they would be cute and 3) I have nothing else to lose. Seriously though, when you go through big life changing stuff, hair just doesn't seem like a big deal...even bad hair.

So i took the plunge and I kind of like them and I kind of hate them and will probably only have them for two months and then I will be sick of them because that's how I roll. I go back and forth between feeling sassy and feeling totally frumpy/mommish. What do you think? Here is a before picture I took of myself a few days ago for my profile pic for facebook:

Sammie just told me "They look nasty but no offense."

Monday, January 9, 2012

Caveman Takes Sonoma

After last week, I was going to leave the Bachelor alone this season. But it is just such good tv and by "good" I mean bad!! The biggest surprise of the evening for me was that the gal from Utah, Monica, seemed pretty normal and didn't turn out to be the villain. Blakely, aka "Fakely" aka "Juggs" aka "Horsey face" came out of nowhere as a force to be reckoned with:

Holy crap. She is going to be fun this season. I loved how Samantha was the one calling her "juggs" and her own girls were hanging out of her dress so far I was afraid we were going to see nipps.

But I digress. Funny how Monica didn't seem the least bit interested in Fakely tonight. I guess the lesbian lovin' was all for show. While we are discussing Fakely, did you all love that romper she was wearing while auditioning for the play? She looked like an overgrown toddler with juggs. This post is really high brow.

Okay..I've got to back up. Let's start with Ben's date with Kacie. I like Kacie. She is sweet and I thought her outfit was adorable..the shorts with the boots and nautical sweater...darling. Plus, she seems genuinely sweet. I even like the bataan twirling and I usually cringe at that stuff. If I remember right, she is divorced and has yet to drop that bomb on Ben. Good for her for waiting. It will be interesting to see how he reacts to that news.


Watching Ben watch his father on the movie made me cry. I have a black heart but that damn Fleiss got to me. He really knows how to pull the heartstrings.

The group date: I usually hate this kind of thing and the group date was no exception.

I did rejoice when Fakely go put in the gingerbread man suit. There is justice is this world! I don't know who the princess was but that girl is unattractive. How is she still here? I know that Jennifer was the star of the show as the donkey but her hair color is so distracting to it it purple? It's not good. I was surprised Ben kissed her in the hot tub. Why am I surprised anymore? Hot tub +bachelor=kissing. I didn't like how Ben kissed Fakely moments after kissing Jennifer. I would not do well on this show. But I hope I wouldn't end up crying in a luggage closet. LAME.

And while we are talking about crying. Bye Bye biggest lunatic ever Jenna. Can you believe this woman has a blog? Wow. She disobeyed my cardinal rule for the ladies...never boo hoo to the cameras in your exit interview. She was crying about how it was meant to be, how he never gave her a chance, she deserves love, yada yada yada. Have some dignity girl!! I'm dying for you.

Ok. And as much as I hate Fakely. I HATE the model more. Her baby talk drives me nuts:

Did Ben really say she was intelligent? He seems head over heels. She is the very worst. She was so mean to Kacie when Kacie read the date card..."How does that taste coming out of your mouth?" She is not that pretty. I was hoping she wasn't a real model but I found this and I unfortunately, I think she's legit folks:

I think the cutest girl on the show is Rachel. She reminds me of Heidi Klum. She makes me want to cut heavy bangs...don't worry.. I know better and I won't but I want to.

How much longer is Ben keeping the granddaughter? What do we think of the first impression girl/horse girl? I can't decide on her. I thought it was funny that she was trying to convey to Ben just how country she is..."I don't wear make-up...dirt is usually my make-up, I drive an Ford F350 extended cab with an Alison transmission and a lift." Just kidding..she just said she drives an F350. I feel like she is eager...and eager bugs.

I have also figured out something mildly depressing. Ben is short. Maybe not short, but not tall. Being around Ashley last season led us all to believe the dude was tall. He's not. I say he is 5'9 on a good day. Someone look into this for me and return and report.

Do we love anyone yet? I feel so negative tonight. These girls are bugging me. And Ben is eating it up. Who is going to lose it next week?

Meet me in Frisco!

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Weekend Review

It is Sunday night and I had to Become Bobby to get the kids to help me pick up the house..aka Thunder dome after the weekend. It wasn't pretty and I hate getting like that but the mess makes me crazy.

The highlights of the weekend:

Friday evening my wonderful in-laws brought us Zupas for dinner. Food is my love language and it was delicious.

We woke up to a beautiful blanket of snow (finally!) Saturday morning. I have such a love hate relationship with the white stuff and by love hate I mean mostly hate. My kids dragged out the snow clothes and I spent 20 minutes getting them ready to go out:

Buster did this after they went out until I went and found him some snow clothes:

yes..those are bells on my front door...Christmas is in full swing around here...haven't got the decor down yet..sue me.)

All I could find was Sammie's old pink snowsuit. I think he makes a pretty little princess though:

Saturday afternoon I went to lunch with my friends Mandee and Katie at Hagerman's. Yum. Turkey Pomodoro, tomato bisque, diet coke. I decided to forgo the sugar cookie in a moment of complete restraint and then wished I had gotten it the rest of the day.

After lunch, I headed to Nordstrom to check out a new uniform. My friend Susan called me a few days ago to tell me she found my next uni. And let me say, I do understand what this says about my wardrobe to have a friend feel compelled to call when she finds a really exquisite sweat suit. She was right. It was everything I've ever wanted in a uni and it was on sale. Hallelujah! So cute. Check it out here:

It is Zella brand. If you want to order it, go to your local Nordstrom and they can order it in your size. They only have the xl online.

Saturday evening I took my kids swimming at my gym pool with Susan and we saw my friend Kami there with her kids. It was really fun. We hit In N Out burger on the way home and it made me grateful all over again for fun friends who help me be a fun mom who does fun things cause it's a lot easier to go do fun things with a mama friend in tow.

Sunday was church at 11 and we still managed to be late. This was supposed to be my year to be on time because of the later church but no dice. Every week I feel like a hero just for getting there with everyone dressed and fed. After church, my kids came home, stripped down, cranked up the Lady Gaga on my ipad, and had a dance party. They crack me up. Yes...check out that mess...swweeeeet.

That's real life folks. And it's finally clean. I should be taking down Christmas right now. Do me a solid and don't come to my house until Valentine' should be down by then!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Thank You

Dear Friends,

The above picture is of me and my kids at the happiest place on earth. At the risk of sounding totally cheesy, whenever I am with them, I am still at the happiest place on earth. I am so lucky to have them. I have never felt alone even once in this process because I am surrounded by these four darling, fun, energetic kids. I am a lucky mama!

I am overwhelmed with all of the emails, text messages, facebook messages, phone calls and comments on my blog. I feel so loved and supported. I didn't even know I had 44 readers, let alone, that many people who cared enough to leave super nice comments. The only time I have received more comments is when I did that controversial post about home births and people came out of the woodwork to rip this was a big improvement!

Most of you were probably coming over yesterday to read a Bachelor recap. I wanted to do it but the divorce has just been consuming my thoughts and I knew I couldn't give the recap the attention it deserved. Luckily for you, my friend Greg picked up the torch and did an awesome recap over on his blog. Go here if you watched the Bachelor (and even if you didn't!)

Please be patient with me if you have sent a message and I haven't responded yet. I will get to you! It is probably inevitable that I will talk more about my divorce on my blog..probably more along the lines of surviving a divorce and moving forward. But this blog will remain first and foremost about all the stuff that really matters like shopping and celebrity gossip and my crazy mothering. Maybe even some fun dating stories if that day ever comes..Heaven help me!!

Thanks again. I have the best blog readers in the land. XOXO


Tuesday, January 3, 2012

New Year, New Life

Without a doubt this last year and a half has been the hardest time of my life. I don't know how to lead up to what I am about to say so I will just say it. My marriage is ending. Sam and I are getting divorced. I know that for many of you, this will come as a total shock. It still seems surreal to me on so many levels. I never ever thought I would be someone who would get divorced...that is something that happens to other people. I even remember assuring my children a couple years ago when they asked what divorce was, that Sam and I would never get divorced. Never say never.

I will not be sharing the details of why we are getting divorced here out of respect to Sam and our children. But I will say that I will always love Sam and I truly believe we will always be friends. He is a fantastic father and his children mean the world to him. I am proud of the life we had and the children that we are raising together. And speaking of our kids, by far and a way, the hardest part of divorce is trying to explain to our children why dad is moving out when they have never seen us fight or even argue. My children are heartbroken but are doing amazingly well for the most part.

I have learned so much through this trial in my life. It is so cliche to say but it is true that our trials refine us. This experience has changed me into a stronger, more compassionate, deeper person..the person Heavenly Father wanted and needed me to be. I am convinced that while Heavenly Father didn't want this for our family, he knew that this was the only way for me to grow in that way. My testimony is stronger, I have more confidence in myself and my abilities and quite frankly, I have seen miracles this year with my children and in my home. I know my Savior Jesus Christ on a more intimate level and His Atonement means so much more to me now.

I also have grown so close to my family and I can honestly say I would not have survived this last year and a half without their unwavering support and love. I am so lucky to have them. Ashley has given me hundreds of hours of free therapy. Sam's family is wonderful too and have been very supportive of both of us as well. I also have the most incredible friends. People who love me even when I am not funny or even all that fun to be around.

I know the path ahead is not going to be easy. I still have some really dark days. I was doing really well for a long time and some days now I feel like I am right back to where I started. My therapist tells me grief is cyclical and I am mourning the death of my marriage and the life I thought I was going to have. Sometimes, I think I am doing fine and then something completely small and insignificant will put me over the top. It is especially hard for me to look at old photographs and videos of our family. I don't know what to do with my memories of the last 13 years. I had such a happy marriage. And while I am grateful for that, it also makes this whole thing harder in a lot of ways.

The great news for me is that I get to stay in our home and I don't have to go back to work. It is a priority for Sam to have me stay home with our kids and he wants to keep providing for us and wants our lives to stay the same. He is a good person and I am so grateful that we get along and still do things together with our children. We spent a lot of time together over the holidays and I am happy that he will still be in my life.

I remember telling a friend that I was getting divorced a couple months ago. She looked at me and said "What are you going to DO?" and repeated it several times completely frantic. I just looked at her and said "Probably get up tomorrow morning, get my kids breakfast, put my shoes on, take them to school, go to the gym...." Life goes on. The point is to not let this break me. I can go to bed and be sad for months or I can just pick up the pieces and keep going forward. I know there are good things to come...brighter days ahead. I know that. And I am excited to see what this new year will hold for me and my kids.