Monday, January 9, 2012
Caveman Takes Sonoma
After last week, I was going to leave the Bachelor alone this season. But it is just such good tv and by "good" I mean bad!! The biggest surprise of the evening for me was that the gal from Utah, Monica, seemed pretty normal and didn't turn out to be the villain. Blakely, aka "Fakely" aka "Juggs" aka "Horsey face" came out of nowhere as a force to be reckoned with:
Holy crap. She is going to be fun this season. I loved how Samantha was the one calling her "juggs" and her own girls were hanging out of her dress so far I was afraid we were going to see nipps.
But I digress. Funny how Monica didn't seem the least bit interested in Fakely tonight. I guess the lesbian lovin' was all for show. While we are discussing Fakely, did you all love that romper she was wearing while auditioning for the play? She looked like an overgrown toddler with juggs. This post is really high brow.
Okay..I've got to back up. Let's start with Ben's date with Kacie. I like Kacie. She is sweet and I thought her outfit was adorable..the shorts with the boots and nautical sweater...darling. Plus, she seems genuinely sweet. I even like the bataan twirling and I usually cringe at that stuff. If I remember right, she is divorced and has yet to drop that bomb on Ben. Good for her for waiting. It will be interesting to see how he reacts to that news.
Watching Ben watch his father on the movie made me cry. I have a black heart but that damn Fleiss got to me. He really knows how to pull the heartstrings.
The group date: I usually hate this kind of thing and the group date was no exception.
I did rejoice when Fakely go put in the gingerbread man suit. There is justice is this world! I don't know who the princess was but that girl is unattractive. How is she still here? I know that Jennifer was the star of the show as the donkey but her hair color is so distracting to me...is it red..is it purple? It's not good. I was surprised Ben kissed her in the hot tub. Why am I surprised anymore? Hot tub +bachelor=kissing. I didn't like how Ben kissed Fakely moments after kissing Jennifer. I would not do well on this show. But I hope I wouldn't end up crying in a luggage closet. LAME.
And while we are talking about crying. Bye Bye biggest lunatic ever Jenna. Can you believe this woman has a blog? Wow. She disobeyed my cardinal rule for the ladies...never boo hoo to the cameras in your exit interview. She was crying about how it was meant to be, how he never gave her a chance, she deserves love, yada yada yada. Have some dignity girl!! I'm dying for you.
Ok. And as much as I hate Fakely. I HATE the model more. Her baby talk drives me nuts:
Did Ben really say she was intelligent? He seems head over heels. She is the very worst. She was so mean to Kacie when Kacie read the date card..."How does that taste coming out of your mouth?" She is not that pretty. I was hoping she wasn't a real model but I found this and I unfortunately, I think she's legit folks:
I think the cutest girl on the show is Rachel. She reminds me of Heidi Klum. She makes me want to cut heavy bangs...don't worry.. I know better and I won't but I want to.
How much longer is Ben keeping the granddaughter? What do we think of the first impression girl/horse girl? I can't decide on her. I thought it was funny that she was trying to convey to Ben just how country she is..."I don't wear make-up...dirt is usually my make-up, I drive an Ford F350 extended cab with an Alison transmission and a lift." Just kidding..she just said she drives an F350. I feel like she is eager...and eager bugs.
I have also figured out something mildly depressing. Ben is short. Maybe not short, but not tall. Being around Ashley last season led us all to believe the dude was tall. He's not. I say he is 5'9 on a good day. Someone look into this for me and return and report.
Do we love anyone yet? I feel so negative tonight. These girls are bugging me. And Ben is eating it up. Who is going to lose it next week?
Meet me in Frisco!