Am a Fan (Late Spring Edition)

Once again, I am copying my friend Marta's Am a Fan series and sharing my latest loves:

Chick-fil-a wraps.  These babies come with an avocado lime ranch dressing that I could drink by itself.  Add a Diet Lemonade and a large waffle fry and I am in Heaven.

Selling stuff on Ebay.  I just started and I am hooked.  I am selling everything from shoes to PBK bedding.  My used Lululemon workout clothes are selling for more than I paid for them originally.  The shipping situation still throws me for a loop but I am figuring it out.

Harmon's post office:  I am shipping a lot of stuff lately (see above.)  My mom just put me on to the post office inside Harmon's.  They have everything the real post office has without that super grouchy dude working at the Draper location.  You know who I am talking about.  I used to wait extra long to get the other lady working there just to avoid him.  Now I can avoid him all the time and the lines and hit the post office at Harmon's. 

Loft Sunwashed Tees:  Some people swear by Old Navy V-neck tees.  My favorite tees are from Loft.  They are soft, they fit well and you can get them 40% off almost all the time.

Pizzeria Limone: At Christmas time, my friend Mariah introduced me to Pizzeria Limone in Fort Union.  The place has tasty wood-oven pizzas, good salads, gelato, and every one's favorite fountain drink mixer extraordinaire.  It is delicious.  And now we are getting one in Sandy right by my brand new McD's!

Old Navy Work Out Clothes:  Old Navy has been putting out some awesome moisture wicking work out clothes lately. They have some great Lululemon looking knock-off items.  I love their compression capris, bra-tops and bright tanks.

The Mindy Project:  This is Mindy Kaling's show.  Remember when I told you how funny her book is?  Her show is just as funny.  She makes me laugh out loud.  Warning--Sometimes it can be a little crude.  It is on Fox.  DVR it!

 

Party of One

It is Superbowl Sunday and I'm sure most of you are watching the big game.  I couldn't care less who wins.  I am just happy to be to be getting a little alone time.  I had surgery a few days ago to repair my broken nose.  Sam took my kids to Disneyland for the week so I could recover.  I had big plans to get some projects done around my house but so far there has been a lot of this:

I have some pretty sweet black eyes and a cast on my nose.  It's a good look.  But that's okay because I am not in a lot of pain.  The best news is that my new insurance actually covered my surgery.  It took three straight days of me hounding them about exceptions to pre-existing conditions, letters of continuous coverage, and other legal nonsense but they finally agreed to cover it.  Thank you IHC Select Med Preference!  I am a loyal customer for life! 

My parents have been so good to take care of me along with other very kind friends.  I feel very blessed.

I got other good news too.  Someone turned in Sammie's skis and we found Luke's poles in the garage so I no longer have to pay for those.  And my car insurance paid for my accident without increasing my premium.  I must be living right.  We even had some sunshine and days that got up into the 40s last week.  And I worked out at the gym several times.  There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Also, in my downtime, I caught up on all the Downton Episodes I have been missing.  This show is so good people.  It is the best thing on tv.  If you are not watching, you really should get your hands on the dvds.  Start at the beginning.  You won't be sorry.

Here's to February!  And nicer weather!  And good tv!  And looking like hell but not caring because my surgery was covered!  And brighter days ahead!

Bachelorette: Emily + Jef = True Love

But not true love forever, because we are talking about the Bachelorette after all.  I really think this one is going to last, but if it hits the rocks in six months, I don't even care because it was so great to see it happen.  And I want Jef for myself.

I am so late in getting around to doing my recap this week, I don't even know if anyone still cares.  Here are my quick and dirty thoughts from the show:

* Emily's mom has the deepest (smoker?) voice.  I laughed every time she talked.  But she is still a pretty lady.  She has had some work done but I don't fault her for that.

* Emily's brother Ernie was not a looker.  How are those two from the same family?  He seemed really intense and not that into either guy.  Yet, he told Emily he liked both guys and was glad he didn't have to make the choice.

* I thought both Arie and Jef did a good job with Emily's family.  I'm sure the producers edited it to seem like Arie was just rambling on and on but I think her family liked him too.  I thought his gift of the dead roses was so odd.  But Emily's mother ate it up.

* Jef was so cute with little Ricki.  I have never said this before on my blog but the name Ricki reminds me of Ricki Bobby from Talladega Nights.  Not good.  I loved how Jef strapped on the pink goggles and totally played with her.  I hope he can keep that up.  It is easy to be the fun guy for an hour while you are on tv.  It is a whole nother thing to be the fun guy at 4 in the afternoon on some random Tuesday when he is babysitting and would rather watch a ballgame on tv.

* I am so glad Emily didn't have Arie meet Ricki.  It showed some maturity on her part that she didn't put Arie through that last date either.

* It was so awful watching Arie make that love potion and talking about his love for Emily when we had already heard Emily telling Chris Harrison she was picking Jef.

* I thought Arie was kind of a jerk when Emily was dumping him but Emily isn't the best at dumping people.  She just sat there and cried for most of it and I can understand that he didn't want to sit there and comfort her.  She never told him she was choosing Jef so he really had no idea if she was picking anyone.  I think he had the right to be a little bit of a jerk in that moment.

* On the After the Final Rose, when Arie talked about flying to Charlotte to see Emily and get closure, I felt bad for him.  I would prefer that he were the next bachelor (even over Roberto or Sean.)  Yes, people, I know he's a player.  I don't care.



* I loved Jef's book to Emily with his stick figures drawn in.  It was a cute personal touch without being over the top.

*I liked Emily's dress for the rose ceremony but thought it made her look bigger than she is.  I also wished they had done the rose ceremony out on the water or on the beach.  Why did we have it in the middle of the day in front of some shacks.  It seemed odd.

* I absolutely loved Jef's suit.  Not every guy could pull that off.  It had a Mad Men feel to it and I loved it on him.

*  Jef is adorable...in every way.  I love that right before he proposed he said, "what I am about to ask you is a forever thing."  Especially with this show's history, I like that he wants this to be forever...even though it probably won't be.  Sorry folks..I'm a realist.

* I even loved the montage of video clips set to "Glory of Love."  I thought it was such a strange choice of music (Karate Kid anyone?) yet it was so perfect.  Fleiss gets it right sometimes.

* I went to bed feeling hopeful and happy.  I believe in love again!  Cut me some slack people..this is all I've got!

Bachelorette: Men Tell All

The Men Tell All is always a let down show.  But the cast of characters this time around made it mildly entertaining.  Did you all see the Wolf's pink pants?  Wow.  Let me first just say, Emily looked beautiful but did anyone else think she has abused the Botox a bit?  I thought she looked cuter during the show when her face actually moved.

The Ox was hilarious.  I will say this for him.  He may be as dumb as an ox, but he always makes me laugh.  His little winks are so gross.  He is such a piece of work but I kind of love him for who he is...just a big, conceited dumb guy.  I don't even think he realized Chris Harrison was making fun of him.  I hope they do make him the Bachelor of Augusta:

Oh Kalen, Kalen, Kalen.  I want to reach through the tv and smack your face.  You are such a tool.  I can't imagine this guy is ever going to date again.  I loved the way Emily told him he should be a politician.  By the way, I "like" Jef on Facebook.  Recently, Jef posted a photo of himself golfing and said he was going to need to borrow Kalen's rented helicopter to go get his ball.  Then, when Emily mentioned Kalen's rented helicopter on the Men Tell All, something clicked for me.  I bet Emily and Jef have been joking about that recently....Now I am convinced people...Emily picks Jef!!  I hope I'm right!

And then there was adorable Sean.  I know I have been hard on him in the past for being perfect but still having no chemistry with Emily.  Yet, he is such a class act.   I really wish he was our next Bachelor instead of Roberto.  Ashley, I already know you think he doesn't have the personality to carry the show.  But he is America's sweetheart lover boy right now.

Finally, can I just say Chris is the world's biggest man whore.  That guy drives me nuts with his beady, little, devil eyes.  He acts like such a victim and talks about how in love he still is with Emily, but all the while, during every commercial, we are being hit with previews for nasty Bachelor Pad where we see Chris getting nakie with every girl on the show.  Chris, I may just watch Bachelor Pad to root for you to lose and because I have nothing else to do.

All in all, the Men Tell All was entertaining.  I always love the bloopers--my favorite was Emily spilling wine on her dress.  Ladies..don't forget..the finale is this Sunday night.  My cousin Liz told me she is strangely invested this season.  Aren't we all!  I will be wearing my Team Jef shirt.

Bachelorette: Foregoing the Fantasy Suites

This episode of the Bachelorette was tough to watch.  My heart hurt for Emily for having to decide who to send home.  But she did the right thing.  Sean is the perfect man but there was always something missing.  He says the right things, he is tall, muscular and handsome, but the chemistry was off.  He just never seemed into her enough with the kissing.  I think that's a red flag.  But I loved his letter to Ricki and I he was so classy in his departure. 

I totally felt for him when he said he had so many emotions going on including being embarrassed.  Because being dumped is embarrassing.  Your pride takes a hit.  And it's embarrassing to be on national tv and get dumped.  Poor Sean.  Too bad Roberto is our next Bachelor (US magazine is reporting) or Sean would be it.

I have to say, I was so glad Emily did not have the guys sleep over in the fantasy suite.  Sammie was watching the show with me (yes, I'm an awesome mom...she is seven.)  And I panicked when I saw the little envelope come out with the key.  Luckily, Emily kept it classy on tv (not going to assume she wouldn't have slept with these guys in any other setting) but I was grateful to see the guys leaving the suite later that night.  It was especially impressive that emily never even gave Arie the fantasy suite card...she knows she can't control herself around him.

Jef with one F's speech to Emily about the Fantasy Suite was so cute.  I loved his statement that he and Emily would have their own fantasy suite every night and that he wanted to wait for the right time.  I laughed out loud when he said they needed to "bridle their passions."  That is such a Mormon phrase!  haha.  I really like Jef.  He is the one for Emily. I hope Emily can see that.  I liked his list of questions for her.  He seems intelligent and honest and the most normal!

Arie looked really cute in his swim trunks but he really needs to come up with things to talk to Emily about.  The non stop kissing gets old.  I couldn't believe his answer when Emily asked him what his Tuesday morning looked like.  He just doesn't live a normal life.  He goes out to eat for every meal...goes out with friends every night...I can't see how he would fit into Emily's world.  And then the part where Arie was telling Emily his philosophy on being a dad to Ricki and how he needs to start off being her buddy and ease into being her dad....I don't know folks...that just sounded ridiculous to me. There was a moment when I lost my mind for a moment and thought Emily might send Arie home, but I'm glad she didn't.  I still like Arie more than Sean---but his kisses are gross:

I did love that bit at the very end of the show where we saw Arie trying over and over to get his video message to Emily right...that was hilarious.

Finally, this is the most trivial question of all...but is Emily wearing a hair piece (fake pony) at the rose ceremony?  The pony tail just seems so blunt and thick..it doesn't seem like her own hair.  She wore it for another rose ceremony this season as well.

Okay ladies, The Men Tell All is next week...no guarantees on a post.  unless Kalen totally pisses me off. I usually can't stand that show.  But the finale is going to be good!  Do you think Emily will introduce Arie and Jef to Ricki?  Who is going to win Emily's heart?  Was Emily's pony tail fake?  Everyone weigh in.

Bachelorette: Home Town Dates

Every time I watch a season of the Bachelor/Bachelorette, the home town dates are my favorite episode.  Let's get right to it.  Who wouldn't want to take Emily home to meet the 'rents?  She is beautiful and poised and really can do no wrong.  (I apologize in advance for the super fuzzy photos.)

We started with Chris' polish family in Chicago.  The date was fine.  Chris took her to a nasty little hole in the wall bar of some sort for drinks before taking her home.  His parents seemed nice.  Mom was a little intense with her psychobabble.  And older sister Renee looked a little too much like Emily (but a less cute, plastic version.)  I thought Chris' other brunette sister was cute.  Chris finally drops the L bomb on Emily which she seemed pleased with and rewarded him with a kiss.  I thought we were done and then next thing you know, a huge group of polish people show up to dance.  That was probably the death knell for Chris.  Who am I kidding? Chris was on the chopping block before the date ever started.

Next, we came to Zion (for the first time ever in Bachelor history!!)  Jef with one F brings Emily to his family ranch someone in the middle of Southern Utah desolation country.  It was fun to see Jef (who is a total hipster) in the outdoors shooting guns and driving a four wheeler.  Somehow, even in the rural environment, he managed to get his hair higher than ever!  I loved his quote to the cameras "How do I win over Emily?  Shoot every one of those clay pigeons."  I don't know why..but it was funny at the time.  Emily loved seeing Jef shooting pigeons in his skinny jeans too.  I thought Jef's siblings seemed very nice, though his older brother seemed a little intense.  The sisters liked using the word "like" a little too much but in the end, they seemed to approve of Emily.  The brunette sis-in-law was the one who nominated Jef to go on the show.  I learned that little tidbit because I "like" Jef on facebook.  I have no dignity.

After dinner, Jef took Emily up on the mountainside to watch the sunset.  He read her the sweetest letter I have ever heard in Bachelorette history (and I know that isn't saying much considering the only other letter we heard this go round was from the Ox!)  As a single mother, the letter made me swoon.  It made Emily swoon too.  I think my favorite part was when Jef said he would teach Ricki how to love by loving her mother forever. 

Next, we headed next to Scottsdale, AZ to Arie's hometown.  First, Arie had to show off for Emily at the racetrack and we got some gratuitous footage of Emily walking toward the car with her suit half unzipped carrying her helmet with the wind blowing her hair.  She might have even been walking in slow motion.  She did look good in her blue tank top.  After the ride, Arie took Emily home.  I thought Emily looked really overdressed...four inch heels and tiny coctail dress anyone?  Arie's house seemed really dark and we didn't see much of his family.  We saw that little exchange where Arie's mother was speaking in Dutch to Arie about Emily (totally rude yet it somehow made Arie seem smarter!) and then we saw the little conversations between Arie and his dad and Emily and Arie's mom.  It all went well and Emily seemed more in love with Arie than ever.



Finally, we went to Dallas to see Sean and his perfect family.  Everything was perfect about him including the perfectly manicured brick houses on his street, the perfect pool in the back, and the perfect little playhouse.  The only thing that wasn't perfect was Sean's horrible yellow striped V neck.  Awful.  And Sean's dad...so over the top.  That dude should have taken a Valium before the show.  But you can tell Sean's parents are good Southern God fearing people who just want Sean to be able to "give himself to a woman."  What the heck does that mean?  Is Sean a virgin?  If so...yay!  But let's just say the word.



I am so glad that Fleiss has moved away from doing the dumb tricks and silliness that has accompanied the home dates in the past (remember Gia's mom doing the card reading?  ugh.)  But the trick at Sean's house was legitimately awesome.   Sean announced to Emily that he lived at home and took her up to see his "room" which was totally messy and covered in stuffed animals.  I loved how he said "I wish my mom had cleaned up."  I wanted to kill him and so did Emily.  It was really funny.  Finally, he admitted he was joking.

Of course, when it was time for Emily to leave, Sean gave her a kiss and then decided he needed another kiss as the SUV pulled away.  He chased it down his street yelling "Emmmmiiiiilllllllyyyyy!"  just like he was back on the streets of Prague.  I found it so cheesy, I could barely watch.  He gives Emily the most nasty grandma kisses with just a hint of tongue...like nothing touches except the very tips of their lips.  I was honestly convinced at the end of the date, that Sean, not Chris, was going home.  That's how little chemistry those two have.  Don't you worry, Sean will be gone next week!  Mark my words.

The rose ceremony was back in LA (and I have no idea why.)  But of course, Chris didn't get the rose and acted like a total a-- and went home fuming.  That dude showed his true colors all along.  I hope every woman in the greater Chicago area is running scared.  He is a psychopath (with devil eyes!)

Next week, we are going to the Caribbean!  Bring on the romance!

Bachelorette: Trimming the Fat

When I think about Monday night's show, all I remember is Chris crying, Chris stressing out and Chris' devil eyes.  However, I knew Emily was going to keep him.  And I think she was going to keep him even if he didn't stop the rose ceremony to beg for another chance.  Emily likes Chris more than she likes John.  And I didn't mind seeing John go home if only for the fact that he was overly confident.  He had one decent date (not even good.)  And dude all of a sudden thought he was the shiz.

But don't worry.  Chris is going home this next week after the home town date.  Home town dates are a big deal.  You have to go meet someone's parents and have them tell you how they don't want their son/daughter to get his/her heart broken.  I think it would be brutal to have to meet four sets of parents in one week. 

But first, we need to talk about this last week.  Honestly, the details are hazy.  I just got my computer back after paying 53 bones to get the virus removed (thank you Ox!)  Then it took me all day to get the thing plugged in correctly and back up and running.  I am a little nervous to find more bachelorette photos on the internet.  But for you friends, I roll the dice.

I thought Sean did a little better this week in bringing the romance.  Remember him running through the streets of Prague yelling "Emmmmiiiiillllllllyyyyyy!   Emmmmmmiiiiiiilllllllyyyyy!"  And she just happened to be out there walking around like the lone ranger.  As if the producers didn't tell him where she was....so staged.  But I was happy to see him give her a more passionate kiss.  I still am not convinced that he has a personality.  He says all the right things and I know you ladies love him but he doesn't do it for me (or Emily.)  He may be our next bachelor.

The Arie drama seemed a little weird to me.  Anytime Chris Harrison show up to explain something to us, it feels a little like The Truman Show.  Why is he breaking into "reality?"  Do we really need Chris to give us the back story?  The weirdest part of all is how we got that little interview of Emily by the producer who used to date Arie but we don't get any footage of Arie explaining himself to Emily.  Instead, we get Chris Harrison's voiceover saying "Arie explained to Emily that they dated so long ago, he had forgotten about it or didn't think it was a big deal.  Emily forgave him and they have moved on."  Then we get footage of Arie telling Emily he loved her and the fireworks.  It just all seemed kind of glossed over.  Maybe Fleiss didn't want us to see some knock down drag out with Arie because he is going to win this thing and we need to respect him..or maybe he is going to be our next bachelor.  Why do I have to dwell on these things...why can't I just enjoy the show?

I like Arie.  I think he will win Emily's heart but sometimes he just has nothing real to say.  And his eyes seem vacant.  But they do have chemistry. 

As for Jef with one F..still my favorite.  I loved how he bought Ricky a little princess puppet..dude knows how to score points.  But the scene in the library where Emily and Jef were having their puppets talk was cringe worthy.  It brought back horrible bobble head doll memories (Chris.)  I thought Jef was cooler than that.  But I forgive him.  I do love that Emily said no when he asked her if she would move in together before they got married.  Speaking of Jef, I also appreciate how respectful he is of the Mormon church and that he admits he was raised Mormon and speaks highly of the Church even though he is not active right now.

Finally, Doug.  Oh Doug.  You are such a pansy.  You were never confident enough with Emily.  You never had the cajones to kiss Emily (until you laid one on her while she was dumping you.)  And then you get in the limo and sob that you wanted a safe place for you and your son.  I'm not sad to see you go.

What am I forgetting ladies?  I can't wait for the hometown dates.  I can't wait to see Jef's family and the first ever hometown date in UT! 

Bachelorette: Ding Dong the Ox is Gone!

Was there anything more satisfying than seeing Ox go home?  I will miss him though.  His girly white tank top, his torquise pimp shoes, his little triangles that have been so meticulous carved into his beard....Oh Ox, you do delight me!  I seriously went back tonight and watched his date again...just to laugh.  I love how Chris says "He shaves his legs and plucks his fingers..."  I loved the footage of him getting ready for his date with his voiceover talking about what an attractive man he is. He says the world's dumbest things to Emily. Like when Emily shows up and all the guys are there and he says "The world is our pearl" and then says "you're the pearl!" HAHA!  John and Arie are just cracking up on either side of them.

Then on his date, he tells Emily, "I'm a very safe driver..you may not feel safe, but I don't get in accidents."  I was horrified to hear him say that because I use that very same line frequently!  Later, Emily shows up in a gold dress just like a life sized trophy. Ox takes advantage of their time during dinner to pull out another list.  This time it was a list of 10 things he wants his wife to do for him like always encourage him and never ridicule him.  The last one was "catch my eye" and he said he put that in bold because he wants her to have a sexy personality.  I sometimes wonder if this cat is for real.  He is just too much.  He winks at Emily all the time.  Then when she told him he wasn't getting the rose, he went so quiet and manipulative.  I think he is a snake.  I was so so worried that Emily was going to let him talk her into keeping him.  I wish Emily hadn't told him she wasn't confident in her decision.  She said that several times during the night.  Even if you aren't confident, you've got to learn to fake it girl!

Honestly though, Ox got the last laugh because I tried to download a sweet photo of him from the net and ended up with a virus on my computer. Great. Okay, let's back up.  The first one-on-one date was with Travis...egg man.  I have never liked him.  Nothing wrong with the guy..just kind of dorky.  I love how Emily kept talking about his good heart.  That is what you do when there is no physical connection.  "He has all the qualities I am looking for in a husband" not "I could really see myself marrying Travis."  Their date was totally boring and I knew he was getting the ax. He was lucky to stay as long as he did.  Bye bye.

The Highland games were pretty funny.  I loved the guys on the donkeys in their kilts (and especially the clip at the end of them trying to get on the donkeys and get them moving in the right direction.  Not surprisingly, I found Sean more attractive this week.  He dominated the games...and looked good doing it.  Chris, on the other hand, looked so ridiculous.  For a big, strong man, he couldn't do anything and seemed so awkward, especially shooting the arrow.  He has devil eyes and I don't understand why Emily thinks he is so good looking.  I am just not seeing it.

I loved Emily's conversation with Jef with one F outside on the group date.  He gave her his jacket and they had a great talk.  She asked him why he took so long to kiss her and he said it was because he was afraid of her.  She asked him if it was because he was playing a game and he said "Did it work?  Because if it did, than yes, that was my plan."  He is so cute and charasmatic and I really think he is going to get the final rose.  At least I hope he does.   If he were a foot taller and a decade older, I would be all over his action right now.  But alas, I am a big woman and he is a small man.  Bygones.

The other main contender is Arie.  He has a good personality and I just like him.  I don't care that he is a player...he is a player because he can be.  He is good looking and legitimately funny.  I'll take it.  He proved to be the wisest among the guys by sneaking into Emily's hotel and snuggling with her on her bed.  Brilliant.  I wonder where that would have gone if there was no camera man two inches from their feet.  Can you say "mood killer!"

Some time around the cocktail party, Chris Harrison shows up. Where has he been all this time?  He didn't even stand next to Emily during the rose ceremony..he was outside talking to some chick and rumor has it she was the producer that Arie used to date.  (And she's not cute I might add.)  It looked shady.

But before we get to that, the cocktail party had me in stitches.  First, Emily sits down with John who knows his head is on the chopping block.  So what does he do?  He pulls out his dead grandparents' funeral cards.  Now I don't know what these things are but they did the trick.  He went from crying about them to kissing Emily.  Well played John, well played.

Doug on the other hand, should have to turn in his man card.  Emily spends their whole conversation trying to build up his confidence and actually tells him "you need to be confident Doug!"  A few minutes later, we see Doug completely melting down, sobbing to the cameras about something..I don't even remember.  His son?  I don't know.  I just know I was laughing so hard I was crying.  Yes, crying.  I have a black heart.

So Emily decides to go outside and get an extra rose so she can keep both of these dudes.  I think they both could have gone home that night.  Why prolong the inevitable?  Doug espcially needs to be sent packing. 

Next week, we are going to Prague. I can't wait for the Arie drama!

Bachelorette: London Calling

This was one of my favorite episode this season.  And it wasn't even because of the Kalen drama.  I totally saw that coming because Kalen is so dumb and I think he didn't even care that he was going home.  I wonder if the producers put him up to some of the stuff he said.  I loved how Emily said she wanted to go all "West Virginia back woods hood rat crazy on him" or something along those lines.  My very favorite was how he interrupted her and she said "I love to hear you talk but not until I'm through..I got that line from you."  The girl has spunk and I love it.

No, this episode was my favorite because I love Jef with one F.  I loved their date.  I loved how Jef talked about being on "a two on one" with Jean and Emily. I loved how Emily and Jef got the hell out of there when Jean left the room..though that was probably staged.  I think Emily and Jef have so much chemistry. Jef is normal and real and I loved how he told Emily about how he felt about her when they were having dessert on the London Eye.  I melted during their kiss.  I am into him them.  I hope they end up together but I'm not holding my breath. 

I honestly have nothing to say about Emily's date with Sean.  He is such a nice guy.  He is a good guy.  He says all the right things but there is no chemistry.  He is not funny or even all that fun.  I think he will be in the final two but not picked...there is just something missing.

The group date was fine.  I lose more and more respect for Ryan (the dumb ox) every week.  I am so disappointed in Emily for saying she is starting to like him.  He says the dumbest things.  He drives me crazy.  He bugs me worse than Kalen did.  I want the ox gone.  I'm tired of his dumb little gifts and his ugly scarfs and his dumb letters and his arrogance. 

I thought Arie was good on the group date.  He was so nervous but he pulled through and was funny.  Arie's biggest strength..other than being gorgeous..is that he is truly funny.  I do feel like sometimes Emily and Arie have nothing to say to each other and he just tries to kiss her to fill the time. 

I think Emily overreacted in her anger at the other guys that no one said anything to her about Kalen.  No one wants to be the tattle tell.  And Doug is now firmly in the "friend category" because he tattled to Emily.  Did you love his reaction when Emily told him she wanted to be alone and he had to kind of shrink away?  haha.

I was grateful to see Alenjandro go home.  I kept wondering "why is he still here?"  I predict Travis will go home next week...he is only still here because Emily has had other guys she needed to send home more. 

What are we thinking this week?  Who are your favorites?  It seems everyone is cheering for Sean but me.  Jef all the way!

Bachelorette in Bermuda...Like Anyone Still Cares

So this week was crazy for me. Bananas. Ridiculous. It was the last week of school with all of that craziness. And I decided to have my house painted, so we were living between my mom's house and Sam's house and our house.  I wasn't smart enough to pack a suitcase so I made about a dozen trips between the three houses each day.

Once I get my furniture put back where it goes and some things hung on my walls, I will show you the before and after pictures! There was some other emotional stuff going on this week too so the Bachelorette post didn't happen. I did watch. I did enjoy it.

Since I can barely remember my own kids' names right now, it's a safe bet that I have forgotten most of what happened Monday night. But I will give you what I learned so far from this season of the Bachelorette (most of this is from Monday's episode):

1. Don't ever, under any circumstances, talk about being the next bachelor. I don't care if that is the sole reason you came on the show. Don't be talking about it. (Ryan, you are such an idiot.)

2. Don't ever tell Emily you won't "love on her" anymore if she gets fat. (Ryan...this is also for you!)

3. Don't ever give Emily a 7 page letter to read at the cocktail party..save it for the fantasy suite (yes, Ryan, again for you.)

4. Quit worrying about the other guys in the house and focus on your relationship with Emily. (I can't honestly remember why Chris was so mad at Doug but I do remember that Chris came off looking like a total arse.)

5. Don't play the dad card (Doug, this one is for you. Why does Emily think he is so perfect?)

6. If you get the chance to kiss Emily and she wants you to, you better take it. (Jef with one F, this one is for you, kid!  I like you Jef, she likes you...we want you to bring the romance.)

7. Don't wear knee socks to the cocktail party/rose ceremony unless you know it is a joke and the bachelorette will think it is hilarious. (once again, Jef, this is for you.) Did you all notice his socks? My mom thought his slacks were still on the hanger and he was just waiting until the last minute to put them on so they didn't wrinkle.)

8. For the love of everything holy, don't cry on your two-on-one date. Personally, I thought Nate had the rose in the bag. And then he started crying...about his brother. Bye bye.

9. Along the same lines, don't cry when you are eliminated. (Michael, long hair dude, this one is for you.) You barely knew her. We never saw you talk to her. Quit crying, at least save it until you are off camera.

10. Finally, watch Arie and do everything he is doing, because he is doing everything right...he gives the other guys a hard time, but does it in a way that is legitimately funny so he gets away with it. He kisses Emily every chance he gets, and he is hot. Done deal.

I think it is fair to say we could end this thing right now..we know who the winner is going to be.

We are off to one of my favorite cities on Monday...London! I can't wait!

Bachelorette: Living Like a Gypsy King

I loved last night's episode of the Bachelorette.  Emily has some spunk and I'm so glad she sent Alesandro packing during the cocktail party.  His little rant about how "marrying a woman with a child is a compromise" made no sense.  It just made Emily mad.  And I'm not sure he even understands what the word compromise means.  His intonation pattern was hilarious.  I laughed out loud when he talked about living like a gypsy king.  He said it again in his exit interview in the limo!  The best was when he said to Emily, "you don't plan for a kids and a family..it just happens.  Like you forget to use protection one night and BAM!  You're a dad!  He may be the stupidest guy ever on the history of the show:

Let's start at the beginning.  I only got to see the first part of Emily's date with Chris because our DVR crapped out and skipped ahead to the group date.  Did anyone else see the whole date?  I heard I missed Luke Bryan.  Bummer.  I like Chris but I don't see why she thinks he is so hot.  I loved it when Chris said, "Emily looks really hot in a harness."  Seriously?

I thought the group date was lame.  Like bringing in a bunch of kids and asking these guys to play with them will show Emily what kind of dad they would be.  Anyone can be enthusiastic and fun for a twenty minutes with someone else's kid on a playground.  I'm just glad no one has a hidden camera on me when I take my kids to the park.  I'm usually sitting on a bench texting or complaining to a friend about the heat/cold/wind. 

The best part of the date was Emily's blond friend asking the guys the questions like "have you ever had a one night stand? or "have you ever cheated on your girlfriend?"  I loved when she starting telling Sean how hot he was.  I thought she stole the show.  Sean and Doug were the clear favorites with the  Emily's friends.  Sean knows all the right things to say and I think he is genuine.  We will see.  Doug still bugs me.  He is a little too intense and plays the dad card too hard.  I do feel bad for him with his story about growing up in foster care.

And were you all dying at Ryan when he said he wants Emily to stay in shape after they get married.  If she gets fat, he "would love her but wouldn't love ON her."  Sheesh.  That was classic and HE STILL GOT A ROSE.  Idiot. 

I loved how she sent Tony home because he missed his son and she didn't see a future with him.  I thought she was really classy about it.  She continues to impress me.

I still really like Jef.  And yes, Kaari, he only has one F.  His hair kind of bugs me but I can get over it.

And speaking of bad hair, who the heck is this guy?  He never speaks.

I was hoping she would cut Kalen on the spot when he demanded that Emily let him finish when she interrupted him.  He looked awful last night and I died that he still got the rose.  I am convinced the producers made her give it to him.  I loved Emily's line "I love tall, skinny and funny.  I don't love tall, skinny and condescending."  Amen sister.

Travis, aka (Horton..thanks Greg for the nickname) decided that it was time to get rid of the stupid ostrich egg.  Don't you love how the producers used that clip of Emily throwing the egg in the previews to make it look like she was mad at Travis.  I wish she was.  He is a baffoon.

Are we all loving Arie?  He is so cute and they are cute together.  He will be in the final two.  That was a really cute date at Dollywood.  I have a soft spot in my heart for Dolly Parton. That woman has abused the plastic surgery but she is still one of my favorites. 

Next week, we are off to Bermuda.  I predict the fireworks will start and she will be kissing everyone.  I think Arie is the only guy she has kissed so far.  Good for her!

Bachelorette...Muppets Take North Carolina

It is past midnight but I can't let another day go by without giving you my thoughts on this week's show.  I am loving Emily.  She is so darling and I think her personality is really coming out more this season.  So here are my quick thoughts...I will add photos later...I gotta get to bed!

*Ryan.  I'm not a fan ladies.  He seems cocky to me and sorta miffed that he had to go to Emily's house and make cookies on his date.  I thought he would be thrilled to get into her personal space like that.  I have to admit I think that super long letter was a turn off.  He chose the worst time to give it to her...and monopolized way too much time at the coctail party.  I don't like him.  He seems fake to me.  Don't forget he wore no tie to the cocktail party with his shirt unbuttoned half way down.  C'mon, Seriously!

*I know I am going to take flak for this but I loved the Muppets date.  I thought it was darling and funny and original.  For once, Fleiss got it right.  Thank you for not putting us through another filming of a fake soap opera!  I would have liked to have seen more of the singing, dancing and stand up but maybe that was all there was.

*My very favorite outfit on Emily was the pink sparkly skirt and white tank top in the Muppets show.  She looked so cute in that.  I wish I could rock an outfit like that.

*I am crushing on Jef.  I know!!  I'm a grown woman and he seems like such a teenager but he is cute and I'm so glad someone good is representing Zion!  Emily loves him too.  You wait.

*Doug is an idiot.  I'm calling it right now.  If someone leaves their kid for 6-8 weeks to go on the bachelor/bachelorette, they ARE putting their role as a parent on hold.  Emily did it last season and yes, Doug, you are doing it now (even if your kid told you to go.)

*Everyone is being too hard on Kalen.  Yes, he is over-the-top.  Yes his lips are too shiny and he seems like a little boy trying too hard.  I don't like him and he will be going home soon enough.  But he is taking too much grief for nothing.  He was classy about not making Emily decide between him and Aaron (and yay that Emily sent Aaron packing for being so rude in that exchange.)

*Stevie is sooo unattractive.  I can barely look at him.  Please Emily, send.him.home.

*Still dying at the two Alejandro/Alesandro...do they ever talk?  Are the producers making her keep them for diversity?

*Poor Joe.  He was nice but I run into this same problem dating.  Some guys are so great, so nice but you just know you can't marry them or there is no spark.  Gotta let 'em go.  She did the right thing.  I could totally relate to her when she said she wished the date had gone badly or that something could have given him a warning that it wasn't going to work out.  She is a good person.  And his answer about where he sees himself in five years was ridiculous.

*I think it is nice of Emily's mom to babysit Ricki while Emily does this stuff.  However, I thought Emily's mom looked a little sleazy in those cut out sleeves....mutton dressed as lamb? 

*I like Chris.  He seems like a super nice guy.  Do we think he's hot?  Emily goes on and on about how attractive he is.  I ain't seeing it.  Remember he was the bobble head guy.

*Dave "Wolf" seems like a good guy.  Someone mentioned in the comments that he is a "document destruction specialist"...like he shreds paper for a living?

K, what am I missing ladies (and Greg?)

Bachelorette...I Miss Brad Already

Was I the the only one who immediately missed Brad during the clips of Brad and Emily at the beginning of the episode?  I'm sorry, but whoever wins Emily's heart has big shoes to fill.  Big, hot shoes.  Dang.  At least we won't be looking at Ben's awful mug this season.

Alright, so we've got who we've got and I have a few early favorites.  Arie anyone?  Yes please.  He is a hottie.  He doesn't say much but that's okay.  He's mysterious and he's got the race car driver thing going.  He's going far...you heard it hear first.  I've got a sixth sense for these things.  And I saw him a lot in the preview for the season.

I also like Nate...I don't think that dude said a single word.  But in this arena, less is more!  And he has a real job...accountant!

What about Jef from SLC?  The jury is still out.  I kind of like him.  Emily likes him.  Please just let him represent well.  SLC needs some redemption after Michelle and Bentley.  And speaking of the world's biggest D-bag, if they let Bentley make an appearance this season, I will be so ticked.

Emily clearly likes Chris (Bobble head disaster) and Doug (single dad, first impression rose)  I like single dads but I didn't like how Doug brought the letter from his son.  It was cheesy and seemed like Doug wrote it himself.

Let's talk about the dark horses who didn't get much air time.  I am digging Charlie (gotta love that deep voice..don't love his profession...recruiter?  What does that mean?  I am guessing for the Army. 

I also like the biology teacher.  He is cute.  Did you hear Emily say she failed both Chemistry and Biology.  That was funny.

I wanted to hide my head in the pillow when the dude came out of the limo in the green shirt and vest with the boom box and danced.  He is not cute and he was making the worst faces at the helicopter dude.  I wish she sent him home.

Speaking of helicopter dude, I'm not impressed.  His lips seem too shiny and he is eager.  I will admit that I sort of liked him for a minute when he talked about being raised by a single mom but he is still a tool.  He'll be going home shortly.  But I do think he took too much abuse from the guys about showing up in a chopper.  Like showing up dressed as a grandma or with a glass slipper or freaking ostrich egg was better?  What is a Luxury Brand Consultant anyway?

I love watching darling Emily and I think it is cool that she is living in her own house taking care of her daughter during the show.  Props to her for that.  But she can stop saying "I know, right?"  That expression gets old.

Finally, to the pathetic dudes at the end who got cut--Brent, (single dad of 6) you aren't going to find anyone.  Sorry!  If you are so pathetic that you cry after one night and say you aren't going to ever find love, you won't.

And to do the fitness model in the pink shirt with the six pack.  We hate you and your abs.  No one likes a showoff, now get lost!

Finally, the biggest surprise of the night was seeing Sean in all the preview clips kissing Emily.  Who is this guy?



It's going to be a good season, I can feel it!

Set the DVR!

This season of the Bachelorette couldn't come soon enough.  I need something to live for! The show is filming in Emily's hometown in North Carolina. You know the drill..tomorrow night, I will be baking a pan of brownies and eating them with a fork straight from the pan.  Who is with me?

p.s.  Ashley texted me a couple days ago to let me know Chris Harrison just got divorced.  My first thought was "so he is available?"  Then I realized I have no chance with him and I am now hoping he is our next bachelor..wouldn't that be something?  The tables have turned.  Brad could come back and host.  I'm writing Fleiss..You know Fleiss wants what we want and we want Chris as our next Bachelor.  Join my grassroots campaign!

Caveman Takes Sonoma

After last week, I was going to leave the Bachelor alone this season. But it is just such good tv and by "good" I mean bad!! The biggest surprise of the evening for me was that the gal from Utah, Monica, seemed pretty normal and didn't turn out to be the villain. Blakely, aka "Fakely" aka "Juggs" aka "Horsey face" came out of nowhere as a force to be reckoned with:



Holy crap. She is going to be fun this season. I loved how Samantha was the one calling her "juggs" and her own girls were hanging out of her dress so far I was afraid we were going to see nipps.

But I digress. Funny how Monica didn't seem the least bit interested in Fakely tonight. I guess the lesbian lovin' was all for show. While we are discussing Fakely, did you all love that romper she was wearing while auditioning for the play? She looked like an overgrown toddler with juggs. This post is really high brow.

Okay..I've got to back up. Let's start with Ben's date with Kacie. I like Kacie. She is sweet and I thought her outfit was adorable..the shorts with the boots and nautical sweater...darling. Plus, she seems genuinely sweet. I even like the bataan twirling and I usually cringe at that stuff. If I remember right, she is divorced and has yet to drop that bomb on Ben. Good for her for waiting. It will be interesting to see how he reacts to that news.

Adorable:



Watching Ben watch his father on the movie made me cry. I have a black heart but that damn Fleiss got to me. He really knows how to pull the heartstrings.

The group date: I usually hate this kind of thing and the group date was no exception.



I did rejoice when Fakely go put in the gingerbread man suit. There is justice is this world! I don't know who the princess was but that girl is unattractive. How is she still here? I know that Jennifer was the star of the show as the donkey but her hair color is so distracting to me...is it red..is it purple? It's not good. I was surprised Ben kissed her in the hot tub. Why am I surprised anymore? Hot tub +bachelor=kissing. I didn't like how Ben kissed Fakely moments after kissing Jennifer. I would not do well on this show. But I hope I wouldn't end up crying in a luggage closet. LAME.

And while we are talking about crying. Bye Bye biggest lunatic ever Jenna. Can you believe this woman has a blog? Wow. She disobeyed my cardinal rule for the ladies...never boo hoo to the cameras in your exit interview. She was crying about how it was meant to be, how he never gave her a chance, she deserves love, yada yada yada. Have some dignity girl!! I'm dying for you.

Ok. And as much as I hate Fakely. I HATE the model more. Her baby talk drives me nuts:



Did Ben really say she was intelligent? He seems head over heels. She is the very worst. She was so mean to Kacie when Kacie read the date card..."How does that taste coming out of your mouth?" She is not that pretty. I was hoping she wasn't a real model but I found this and I unfortunately, I think she's legit folks:



I think the cutest girl on the show is Rachel. She reminds me of Heidi Klum. She makes me want to cut heavy bangs...don't worry.. I know better and I won't but I want to.





How much longer is Ben keeping the granddaughter? What do we think of the first impression girl/horse girl? I can't decide on her. I thought it was funny that she was trying to convey to Ben just how country she is..."I don't wear make-up...dirt is usually my make-up, I drive an Ford F350 extended cab with an Alison transmission and a lift." Just kidding..she just said she drives an F350. I feel like she is eager...and eager bugs.

I have also figured out something mildly depressing. Ben is short. Maybe not short, but not tall. Being around Ashley last season led us all to believe the dude was tall. He's not. I say he is 5'9 on a good day. Someone look into this for me and return and report.

Do we love anyone yet? I feel so negative tonight. These girls are bugging me. And Ben is eating it up. Who is going to lose it next week?

Meet me in Frisco!