Monday, June 28, 2010

Bye Bye Craig--the Not Cute Lawyer

I have to admit, I thought Chris was going home tonight. Maybe it's because he got no air time. Maybe it was the athletic shoes with his suit. At any rate, I was pleasantly surprised to see Craig--the not cute lawyer--go home.

The thing about Craig is--if you didn't watch the season from the beginning, you might have thought he was a decent guy. My sister Ashley fell into this trap. But this is where it pays to watch the whole season. Craig started the season as a whiny, complaining loudmouth in the house. He also tattled to Ali. He kept getting roses because Ali needed to send other guys home more than him. He didn't get a one-on-one date with Ali because she knew he wasn't cute and wasn't into him. But he won the date anyway from the wrestling competition. He was nice, even charming on the date. But there was no romance and I'm thrilled he went home tonight.

I have to admit, I was really nervous right there at the end for my Kirk but he pulled through.

As for Wrestler--he is a sleazy coward and he deserved everything he got tonight. I called it with him. The best is how he was trying to get away from Ali and the cameras. It reminded me of when Bill Gephardt goes after people--(you have to live in Utah to understand that reference) You know people are guilty when they run from the camera.

How awesome was the olive oil wrestling? I loved it. I think I even laughed out loud a couple times. Once again, Kirk had the best comments. He is funny people.

Not the Bachelorette--but you get the idea.

I know I'm jumping around here but it is late and I'm too lazy to rework this thing. I have to say I can't stand Ty. Do any of you like him? Talk about being here for the wrong reasons--I swear the guy is here to promote his music. Plus he's not attractive and I just want to see him go. Their whole date in the bath house kind of grossed me out. Can you even imagine how many nasty Turkish men have gotten naked in there?

I loved Ali's date with Frank and I'm really nervous about how he is going to break her heart. What could he possibly say to her? He seems the most in love with her. The drama! This is such good tv!

I love Roberto. Believe me girls, I love Roberto but it seems that he is in the background a lot. Hopefully he will get more one-on-one time in Portugal. I think Chris's days are numbered. He is just a bit immature and I don't think he and Ali have the chemistry that she has with the other guys. I still like Kirk. We'll see.

I can't wait for next week. Portugal is on my list of places I'm dying to visit. Plus, Ali's clothes are so cute. I'm so glad someone is dressing her now that she is the bachelorette. And the false eyelashes are helping too.

This is getting good...

Friday, June 25, 2010

I Am, I Said (Name the Artist!)

I am a lot of things I'm not proud of....

I am a tv watcher. I love my shows. Luke begged me to read the scriptures with him Wednesday night during SYTYCD and I told him no.

I am a regular at McDonald's. Two weeks after I had Buster, I was pulling through the McD's drive-thru and the worker said "You had your baby" in broken English and insisted I roll down the window so she could see him. Apparently, I drank a lot of diet coke from McDonald's while pregnant.

I am a distracted driver--I eat, talk on the phone, and yell at kids while I drive. (Though I would never text--I do have some standards!) I came THIS close to running over a hobo the other day while I was driving downtown. I swear homeless people have no regard for their own lives and almost want to be hit. Scared the crap out of me.

I am a gossip and I am trying to stop. I've had two experiences this month where I said a bad thing about someone and then within 24 hours, that person did something really nice for me. I felt horrible both times.

I am addicted to dairy. I've been off dairy for 1 week--Dr's orders because she thinks Buster might be allergic to it. This alone just might kill me. I've always been the type who only wanted what she couldn't have. Now ALL I want are milkshakes, ice-cream, cheese, instant breakfast and cottage cheese. I may have to stop nursing.

I am lazy. Luke had his birthday party this week. We took 10 kids to see Toy Story 3. We had cupcakes afterwards in the food court. BEST PARTY EVER. I don't think I can ever do a home party again. I am also an emotional mess. I cried twice during the movie during really cute parts.

I am resourceful. Today I put about 20 ratty old boxes on my curb and listed them as free on Craigslist. They were gone in an hour. Saved me from cutting them up and putting them in the dumpster.

I am a moocher. My family makes a lot of garbage. Every Wednesday night under the cover of darkness, Sam sneaks around to all the neighbor's cans depositing our extra trash. We really need a second can.

I am shameless. Remember how I was so offended my people eating lunch at Costco from the sample tables? I did that very thing today with my four children. I have no pride. When we got home and my son asked for lunch, I replied "you had it at Costco."

I am sorry. Do you think I can repent for an entire month of bad behaviour in one fell swoop? I hope so...June has not been pretty for me.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Mystery Solved

So I guess we finally know why this guy got no air time. His one on one time with Ali was so uncomfortable. Was anyone the least bit surprised that he went home tonight?

I think the biggest surprise of the evening for me was that I didn't mind Craig. He has always bugged me and for a few moments tonight I thought "this guy is funny." I liked his fake tattoo for Ali but talk to me next week--I may change my mind.

Ty. Tonight was Ty's big night. It's only downhill from here. Yes, he was good with the horses and helping Ali on the group date but I just don't think he's there for the long haul--and he's a little chubby in his bathing suit. And yes, I understand how hypocritical it is for me to be calling another person chubby right now!

I think I fell in love with Kirk tonight. I'll be honest, I was on the fence about him before. I thought he was cute but tonight I decided he is funny too and that is why I like him. He is the only funny guy on the show this season. I like funny. Funny is everything to me and so I'm pulling for Kirk. Plus--I loved his story about being sick. It seems that on these shows, people never talk about real stuff--no one ever tells a story. I liked that Kirk told a story even though Ali looked so bored during it. I think Kirk is top two material.

Roberto is still HOT HOT HOT. Frank is still in it and Frank is growing on me. I liked Chris L. more this week. He is a cute guy and how funny was it that he had the horse that was the size of a dog?

I honestly thought Ali was going to send both wrestler and Kasey home. Kasey needed to go and that wasn't a surprise. But all wrestler talks about is "winning." He doesn't talk about falling in love. I think that is the sign that he is there for publicity and not for Ali. I hope he goes home next week. By the way, I thought that two-on-one date was brutal to watch. It just looked freezing and boring and strenuous. I was glad to see it end.

We're off to Instanbul. I have to admit--I love seeing these cool cities. Which guy has the girlfriend back home? I'm totally guessing the wrestler but I think the tabloids were hinting at it being Frank. That would be sad. I refuse to read Reality Steve this time so I'll have to wait and see. Did you like Chris Harrison's interview with Ali? Chris totally went Dr. Phil on us. That guy has the best job on tv.

By the way, I read the list of all of the past bachelor/bachelorette contestants who are going to be on Bachelor Pad in August. The likes of Kiptyn, Tenley, Wes, Elizabeth(the tease from Jake's season), Michelle (the crazy one from Jake's season) and from this very season of the Bachelorette--Jesse, The weatherman and Craig aka. Satan. I guess I'm going to have to watch. With that cast of charactes, how could I not?

Saturday, June 19, 2010

A Few Good Men

Today is Father's Day and I'm grateful for the three fathers in my life--my dad, my father-in -law and Sam.

First, my dad. I was at Costco yesterday (Yes--I am going to start with a story about me because it's my blog and even Father's Day is all about me.) It was a zoo. I was there with the lunch crowd--not people eating lunch in the food court, people eating lunch from the sample tables. I had to fight grown men for a piece of tortellini (for Ryan, not me). Costco was as crazy yesterday as most grocery stores are on Christmas Eve day. It made me think of my dad and I laughed to myself.

You see, for as long as I can remember, every Christmas Eve day, my dad had a tradition. He would head over to Smith's (our local grocery store) just to get in the way. He would get two carts and find the most crowded aisles and just work his way down them. He would spend about an hour and then come home with nothing. He lived for it. He even took me with him a couple times and showed me the ropes. I don't know why but this story is just so my dad. And it is one of the reasons I love him. He is funny and he knows how to have a good time.

My dad worked three jobs when I was growing up (including doing the national guard on weekends) so that my siblings and I could take piano lessons, dance, go on vacations, shop for new school clothes and do all the stuff that our family loved to do. I never heard him complain once. My dad has always been extremely generous with us while he drove the crappiest cars (and still does--hello '92 Toyota Corolla!) He also gives great advice and I'm grateful he's my dad.

My father-in-law, who we call Pops, is also amazing. He has spent so much time over the last 9 years at our house finishing our basement, painting rooms, laying hardwood floors, installing a dishwasher and disposal, etc. I'm sure he loves to hear me say "Pops, I've got another project for ya!" He's got two bad knees and yet, he gets up and down, up and down and helps Sam with everything around our house. He drives a white van that we call the "flying white sausage." I've sent him on many, many errands to pick up everything from rugs to molding for me in the van. He rarely comes to my home without cookies for the kids and I really appreciate him.

Finally, Sam. Sam is a great dad. He makes up for my mediocre mothering. Sam rarely loses his temper, he loves to spend time with the kids and makes them a real breakfast (eggs, pancakes, brats, etc) almost every morning. He loves to wrestle with the kids or take them camping and to movies. He is also the kind of man I want my sons to grow up to be. He works really hard so that I can stay home. Sam has a really big heart and is constantly doing things quietly to help others. I love that about him. He makes me laugh almost every day and I love him.

Happy Father's Day you three!

Friday, June 18, 2010

He's Two and I'm Crazy

People keep asking me what it's like now that I have four kids. I think they expect me to say it's crazy. And it is. But the reason life is hard right now has nothing to do with the newborn or the fact that I have four kids. It is the fact that I have a two-year-old and a newborn. Sammie and Luke are so easy. They can both feed and bathe themselves and basically entertain each other all day.

Ryan is a whole other story. That kid is in my grill at 7:00 in the morning demanding brats and eggs for breakfast. (I tell him no everyday.) It wouldn't be a big deal except for the fact that I've been up all night and usually am just getting back to bed from the 6:00 a.m. feeding. He demands to go "bye bye mama's car" all day or begs to go to Costco. He loves Costco. He still wants to be held a lot and he cries a lot and he follows me around a lot. He's hard.

On the other hand, I think he is the cutest little boy on the planet. He says the most loving, sweet things to me and loves to kiss me over and over on the lips. He says "bye bye mama" in the sweetest voice every time I leave and is genuinely thrilled to see me every time I return. He knows how to make me laugh--you should see him dance.

At least Ryan loves Buster. Notice the Oreos on Ryan's mouth.

But as much as I love him, he is just hard. I've had some other unrelated issues adding stress to my life as well AND to top it off, Sam is out of town. I have no patience--sleep deprivation will do that to you. I'm ticked off for half my day. I'm completely irked when one of my kids will have the audacity to ask for lunch and I'm driving around swearing at all the idiots on the road--you get the picture--it's like permanent pms. I just want to be rescued from my life--hit the belly release button on my parachute and do a big strong arch.

But the truth is no one can save me. Others have it so much worse than I do. I have a newborn...and a two year old...and no patience and I chose this. I wanted these boys to be two years apart because down the road, I'm going to be sitting on the couch reading people magazine while they entertain each other. In the meantime, I just need to get through it. Sam gets to hear all this when he gets back from his trip--Happy Father's Day indeed!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

This Old House

My parents recently built a beautiful new home, sold their old home, and have slowly been moving everything over to the new house. On Sunday, they went to the old house for the last time to do a few things, lock up and walk away forever.

My mom told me that she and my dad got emotional as they left. As my mom was telling me and my sister this, she started to cry again. I couldn't help myself--I started laughing. I couldn't believe she was getting so emotional about a house--one that she was leaving for something bigger and better. I told her I felt nothing for the house. I said "Home is where your family is and this is your home now." I told them I didn't care about the old house and I really thought I didn't.

Then last night I dreamt about the old house. I promise I am not making this up. I dreamt about playing board games in the family room, I dreamt about our playhouse in the backyard and the hours we would play back there every summer, I dreamt about my bedroom, and our living room at Christmas with the tree. I woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep. All I could think about was the old house and how it held all of my memories.

I love that house. It may not look like a lot, but it was home to me for most of my life. It was a happy place. Friends were always welcome and we always had a lot of fun. We moved in when I was five and I left home at eighteen to go to college. That home is my childhood--and what a great childhood I had. I will miss it.

Monday, June 14, 2010

To Guard and Protect Your Heart

The thing I love about Ali is that she can't hide her feelings. When crazy Kasey sang to her (twice!) the look on her face was priceless. I actually feel bad for Kasey. He is one misguided dude. Ali begs him to just be real instead of going over the top with the singing. So what does he do? He goes out and gets a really ugly tattoo just to prove he's there to guard and protect her heart. (He only said that like 15 times.) God love him. He needs help:

I was so relieved to see the weatherman go. He was awkward right up until he got in the cab. I love how he told Ali that she never really got to know him--Like if she had--they would be soul mates!) I can't help but wonder what this is going to do to his meteorology career. I hope no one in Houston was watching the show because he will have no cred when he gets home. I couldn't believe he busted out the guitar in a last ditch effort to win over Ali. I loved how Kirk said "What we need is one more guy in the house to play the guitar...there's just not enough."

Wrestler is a total hypocrite calling out Kasey about lying. 'nuf said about that.

I still like Chris from Cape Cod. He is so cute about his mother (and the rainbows!) But there is just something slightly off about him. I like him, I do--but what is it? I'm so picky. This reminds me of dating where I knew in the first 10 minutes of a date that I didn't like a guy but I couldn't say why.

Roberto's got it going on. The guy was a genius to sing to Ali instead of the producer. I loved watching the guys audition for Lion King--how good was Jesse! But what about those bike shorts and tees? No guy should ever be caught dead in bike shorts unless he is on a bike.

I can't figure out Kirk. Sometimes I think he is super nerdy and sometimes I think he's cute. He certainly has Ali's number and she adores him. What's his big secret? I'm guessing he's got a kid at home since we haven't seen that yet this season.

Were you all dying when Ali was making out with Kirk (and Frank and Chris) when she had a nasty head cold. All I could think was GERMS! Next week, all of those guys are going to be sick. So nasty.

Speaking of Frank. He has been in the background lately. But he is still in it. My prediction is that he will be one of the final three. I think the final two will be Kirk and Roberto.

I was disappointed Ali let Jesse go. I know I said he was dumb and he is. But he is certainly easy on the eyes and I'd rather look at him than this guy that never speaks and isn't cute:

Seriously--biggest mystery of the show--why IS he still here?

Off to Iceland!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Lessons from the Dust

A long time ago, in one of my comments, someone asked me to do a post about what I learned from doing a kitchen renovation. I'm bossy by nature, and love giving advice, so you all get to suffer through this--I think you have Jaime R. to thank!

Lesson #1. Prioritize. Everyone told me you will fall into the trap "As long as we are doing x, we might as well do y." So true. Our whole reno started because my husband suggested putting in wood floors and of course we couldn't put in dark wood floors with our oak cabinets so we had to paint the cabinets and then we couldn't have white appliances with white get the drift.

Now that the reno is done, if I had to pick only one thing to do, I would get new appliances. They are great for resale and they instantly update the kitchen. And guess what is the one thing everyone compliments in my new kitchen?--the fridge--go figure. (But I do totally love my cabinets and floors.)

Lesson #2 Accept that you can't do everything at once. This is an off-shoot of lesson #1. I really really wanted to paint. But after doing the floors, Sam wasn't going to do another dang thing in the house and I don't blame him. I also really wanted to replace our track lighting with cans and some cool pendant lights...and replace our blinds with shutters. But you can't do it all. You can do it little by little:

Bad track lighting

Lesson #3. Get a ton of bids. You never know how much something is going to cost until you bid it out. Some things were way more than I thought--like the granite counter tops. Other things were a lot more reasonable than I thought--like a new banister. You never know until you get the bid. Also, I loved asking all of the contractors for advice. You never know who is going to have great ideas.

Lesson #4. Sometimes you should hire the contractor who gave you the first bid and look no further. This is a direct contradiction to Lesson #3. The first guy that gave me a bid on my tile was awesome. He called me back immediately and his prices were amazing. I knew I liked him. I didn't need to shop around. Additionally, sometimes your time is worth more than saving a few bucks.

Lesson #5. Go with your gut. I really struggled with some of the choices in my kitchen. Do I do a white island or a black one? Everyone told me I had no black in my house so I shouldn't do a black island. I knew I always wanted a black island. I did it anyway and I love it. On the railing, my contractor told me to do a stained end post. I saw a white one in Pottery Barn Kids and decided to go with that. I really love it and I'm glad I didn't let a contractor talk me out of it.

This is our banister before the floors were finished.

My granite guy tried to talk me out of the black granite sink. I'm so glad I didn't let him. Sometimes contractors have good advice, sometimes they are just looking for the easy way out. Go with your gut.

Lesson #6. Break up with bad contractors. You know the ones--flaky, dishonest, etc. There are too many contractors out there right now looking for work. Don't waste your time with anyone who doesn't call you back or doesn't show.

Lesson #7. Demand perfection or ask for discounts. I can be a real be-atch. I always get my way. My motto is: If I wanted a job done half-way I'd do it myself. I got a sweet deal on my granite because it wasn't the slab I spent hours picking out. Don't be afraid to pick up the phone and get a little crazy.

Lesson #8. You can save a lot of money doing things yourself. You can also end up in divorce court. I love Sam. I also love my new floors. But I'll be honest--I don't love that we are going on five months and the trim still isn't completely finished. (Hi Sam!) The husband works a full-time job. We had a preemie. A million reasons the job took forever. I'm so glad we saved so much money and the floors are beautiful but if you can afford it, pay a professional. You may just come out even on what you save in therapy:

Sam getting 'er done

Lesson #9. When you are in the middle of the reno, it will feel like forever. There were some dark days when I was walking around on sub floor with no appliances and no counter tops and I wanted to pull my hair out. In retrospect, it doesn't seem that bad. Keep your eye on the prize. And thank the good Lord for fast food.

Lesson #10. Don't sweat the decisions too much. You're not curing cancer. You are picking out granite and new appliances for crying out loud. Whatever you get will be so much better than what you have that you will love it. I have a whole file on my computer of pictures of kitchens I love. I also have a binder of pictures I've pulled out of magazines. It is easier to show someone what you like than to tell them.

Lesson #11. I couldn't stop at 10. The job will take twice as long and cost twice as much as you anticipated. Bank on it.

I could go on and on. I'm no expert but I feel like I know so much more now that when I started. Is anyone still here? Thanks for indulging me!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Better After

When I did my big reveal of my kitchen about 6 weeks ago, I forgot to include the before if anyone cares. But I figured now that we have our furniture back in place, I will show you the before and afters of the kitchen, family room and living room.

Kitchen Before:

Kitchen After:

Family room before:

Family room after: (floors and mantle)

Living room before:

Living room after: (floors)

Tomorrow I'm going to post what I learned from doing a home renovation project. Get excited!

ps. Today is Baby Mitchell's due date. He is almost 6 weeks old. Hello little chubby:

Doesn't he look like Ryan's twin? This is Ryan at the same age:

Monday, June 7, 2010

It's Time to Get Real

Let's get right to it. Who is there for Ali? As far as I can tell, there are only a few guys who have already really fallen for her. Kirk, Frank and sexy Roberto are definitely there for her.

I think entertainment wrestler is totally fake. He even forces the tears. He showed his true colors, not when he walked to Ali's house, but when he blatantly lied to all the other guys about doing so. At least when he was called out on it, he finally admitted it but he had no other choice. I thought it was pathetic how he went outside and pouted. I'm sure the producers put him up to the whole thing but he definitely liked the air time and the attention it brought him. Can you imagine how he must have smelled when he arrived at Ali's? And could the guy use any more product on his hair? I don't like him:

Poor, poor, poor Weatherman. I felt so bad for him when he started to cry shooting the music video. He is just so awkward all the time. He just needs to go home so he can be put out of his misery.

How cool are the Bare Naked Ladies? I have loved them forever and that was the highlight of the show for me. Do you all really think that music video is going to be out there? Is was so cheesy.

Poor, poor guy that didn't get a rose on his solo date. I can't even remember his name right now. The date was so awkward. I just wanted Ali to cut him loose before they even got in the flippin' hot tub. He wasn't cute. I can't believe Ali took him on a solo date.

But oh Roberto is another story. He is a sexy man. But didn't their date totally remind you of Jake's first date with Vienna? Sometimes those adventure dates feel so staged to me.

I still like Chris from the Cape but I think he might me a little immature at times. I wish he would have worn a suit at the rose ceremony. Same with dumb/hot Jesse--that is no time for a denim shirt but he still looked dang good in it. Craig R., the lawyer, needs to go home. No chemistry with Ali--it's just a matter of time.

Finally, who is this guy?:

He keeps getting roses and I swear I've never heard him speak.

Next week, we're off to NYC! It's sad when I live for this stuff. Who will be in the Lion King? Is Kasey really going to sing? What a glorious train wreck. I can't wait!

Sunday, June 6, 2010

House of Havoc

Wasn't that a great title? No, I didn't come up with it. It is actually the title of a book about decorating when you live with kids and pets. Decorating my house is on my to-do list but it is way below nursing and driving carpools and changing diapers.

I do live in a house of havoc. Life has gotten hard the last couple of weeks. No way to sugar coat it folks. The adrenaline of bringing home a new baby has worn off. I'm just tired, really really tired (and fat.)

Every time I have a baby I get claustrophobic. I like to be on the go and it's not easy with a baby. Even getting to the grocery store takes major effort. Don't get me started on trying to get to the gym. I'm also starting to realize that I like being in control. When you have a certain amount of kids, you have to relinquish that at some point and give in to the madness. It's not easy. Every room in my house is thrashed and I can't seem to climb out from under it all. All I can do every day is survive--put out fires and make sure kids eat and get where they need to go and then collapse into bed.

I was in my car the other day and heard this song called "It won't be like this for long" by Darius Rucker. It could have been written just for me. I know this time will pass and I'll feel normal again. The day will come when I'll fit in my jeans, I'll make a real dinner, I won't yell at my kids all day, I won't fight with Sam because I need someone to take it out on...I'll get my sanity back. Remember when I wrote the post I'm going to miss this? I won't. Now I KNOW I'm done having kids. That's a good thing right?

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Bringing Sexy Back

If you are old enough to remember going to the mall looking like this:

Then you might be disturbed to see Gap's new arrivals on their website:

Super light denim:

Stirrup leggings:

pleated chinos:


I don't know about you, but the '80s and '90s were such a fashion disaster for me that I can't even dream of pulling off any of these looks. I actually wore overalls at BYU. They were probably this exact pair:

Heaven help me.