Sunday, June 6, 2010

House of Havoc


Wasn't that a great title? No, I didn't come up with it. It is actually the title of a book about decorating when you live with kids and pets. Decorating my house is on my to-do list but it is way below nursing and driving carpools and changing diapers.

I do live in a house of havoc. Life has gotten hard the last couple of weeks. No way to sugar coat it folks. The adrenaline of bringing home a new baby has worn off. I'm just tired, really really tired (and fat.)

Every time I have a baby I get claustrophobic. I like to be on the go and it's not easy with a baby. Even getting to the grocery store takes major effort. Don't get me started on trying to get to the gym. I'm also starting to realize that I like being in control. When you have a certain amount of kids, you have to relinquish that at some point and give in to the madness. It's not easy. Every room in my house is thrashed and I can't seem to climb out from under it all. All I can do every day is survive--put out fires and make sure kids eat and get where they need to go and then collapse into bed.

I was in my car the other day and heard this song called "It won't be like this for long" by Darius Rucker. It could have been written just for me. I know this time will pass and I'll feel normal again. The day will come when I'll fit in my jeans, I'll make a real dinner, I won't yell at my kids all day, I won't fight with Sam because I need someone to take it out on...I'll get my sanity back. Remember when I wrote the post I'm going to miss this? I won't. Now I KNOW I'm done having kids. That's a good thing right?

24 comments:

Kimmie said...

i think you just ripped a page out of my journal!
#4 was definitely the kicker for me, and i still feel frazzled to this day, but on a managable level. it does and will get better, but always a bit "crazier"....in a good way!

Heidi said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who ever feels like that. I only have three and I feel like I always live in a complete disaster! I remember my house growing up always being clean and I have no idea how my mom did that. I keep hoping my memory just isn't that good! With my last baby I kept telling Kyle to remind me that I couldn't expect to accomplish anything for a year after a baby. My third just turned one and I finally feel like every once in awhile I have some time to get a few things done, not always on a regular basis, but occassionally!

Ashley said...

Oh man this is scaring me for what awaits after number three . . . and then four. This too shall pass. I agree with Heidi about attempting no projects other than survival for a year. I hate the claustrophobia too. When I'm in town I'm going to come stay with all the kids and you can drive around and pick up take-out for us. FREEDOM!

Liz said...

My motto is "just survive it". Don't stress the house...everyone worth their spit gets how hard it is to have a newborn and older kids. I would love to have Buster and any other one you want to give me if you want to break away to the gym. I totally get the feeling. It does get better, but I'm not looking forward to summer. I've been meaning to call you and find the right night to bring you dinner, so I'll do that tomorrow.

Good luck! You can do it!

Amy M. said...

I'm sorry. It's so sooo hard. I don't even have four, but I felt that way with three. I can imagine it's that much harder with four kids.

When I saw you at the mall, I was thinking how cute you looked. You looked much more together than I did, and I don't have a newborn.

I agree with Heidi...don't worry about the house right now.

Jill said...

I hate feeling like I'm living in a house of havoc and I remember feeling claustrophobic when I was nursing and so tethered to my kids. My body didn't feel like my own. It's hard to remember how miraculous and brief that tethered feeling really is when you're in the middle of it and feeling like you're losing your mind. My advice is to blog it all, the good, the bad and the ugly because it won't be very long before it's not like this anymore and you won't be able to remember your cute, tiny kids with their little voices, endless questions, adorable messes, and cute baby noises. When I watch videos of my kids when they were tiny like yours are it hurts my heart so profoundly that I feel like I can't take it.

Jill said...

P.S. I'd be happy to come over to clean and babysit.

laughter said...

it has been fun to catch up on all your posts... Beautiful Baby! I went to SLC this weekend and thought I would stop by to see your baby...and give you a small gift... I didn't. I didn't even call your mom. Time goes way to fast! I want my life of freedom back too... but for your I suggest getting a house keeper every other week. Just during this hard time. It will make a huge difference until you start thinking about all the things you can buy with the money. Then you know you are at a good point to take it over again.
You have beautiful children and do such a great job!

laughter said...

wow! how did my name turn out to be laughter? This is Sheryl.

Heather said...

I am a total homebody, so if you need someone to hang out with your kids at night while you escape for a couple of hours, give me a call!

Shelly B. said...

Here's what you do: find a responsible teenager or college girl and pay her to come help you for 2 hours per week or every other week. Make a list of what you want her to do, order it by importance and tell her to cross off everything she gets done. Seriously, I have a girl who comes twice a month, 2 hours each time, and I cannot believe what she gets done at my house in those 2 hours (I forgot how much one can get done if no kids are distracting you!!!). She does all my bathrooms, mops, and does all kinds of deep cleaning that I just can't seem to ever get to! It is FABULOUS and worth EVERY PENNY and my girl only charges $10 per hour. Seriously. Do it!

Natalie said...

oh man! i'm feeling the same way. it's hard to let go and just accept the fact that the house will not be presentable for a {long} time and that it will take awhile to return to the normal, not bloated and hormone crazed person you once were....but it will happen! i have to keep telling myself this.

Linde said...

I only have one and do not know how you do it! I like control too...giving it away--at any point is hard.

Do you want me to take Ryan for a couple of hours some morning or p.m? He can come over and play with Jacob. He would like that!

Linde said...

P.S. We even have 2 car seats and I could come and get him! :)

Jessica said...

Hang in there darling! Besides, when you have a new baby, you are still carrying the baby weight so it is the perfect excuse to bring the sanity back with gigantic homemade cookies topped with ice cream, topped with chocolate fudge, topped with nuts, topped with whipped cream, topped with a cherry.

Stefanie said...

After reading this, maybe I'M done having kids too! =o) I love how honest you are. Don't sugar coat it. It's the truth. The first year of our babies' lives is just pure, semi-organized chaos. It's insane. Take it day by day. You'll look back and wonder how you survived, but you will do just that, survive. We all do. It's life and it's crazy, I mean wonderful. =o)

Elizabeth said...

When the adrenaline wears off and the interrupted-sleep nights kick in... its hard! I hope that you are not too exhausted and that this time passes quickly. I can totally relate to feeling claustrophobic if I cant just grab and go. Take care my friend I am so wishing you some good quality sleep and a smooth trip to the shops or Gym.
Ex

Jacqui said...

I'm so still there--digging myself out everyday is more effort than I can put forth. Unfortunately, my 6-week grace period has ended and it's just gross now.

The DeVito's said...

You just reiterated why I'm only have 2 kids!

The DeVito's said...

You just reiterated why I'm only have 2 kids!

Kim said...

As a mom of 4 I know "It gets better"!!

HAPPYHANERHOME said...

Awesome girl. You said it for all of us, and I love that you are real. I still get to go through what you're going through. Oh, I just can't wait...all my plans and the fact that we are MOVING in a few weeks, yah, I think I will need to be put in an asylum somewhere, if for no other reason than to get some sleep. Hang in there! That Darius song has gotten me through a few rough patches...cheesy, but good stuff. I cannot believe the gym even entered this post--you think you will feel good enough to move that much soon? I plan to keep my membership on hold for at least three months...but that's mostly because who will keep my breastfeeding-every-two-hours baby while she screams for my aerobicising (saggy) boobies?

The Mostess said...

This post scares me. I will leave it at that.

Stephanie said...

Let's see...when I had baby #3 I was living in the Vegas area and we were a one car family. It wouldn't have mattered much if we had a second car because I was too chicken to venture out in that city alone let alone toting 3 little kids. I waited for Steve to get home before getting errands done or early in the morning...alone...aaaahhh. ;) Baby #4 was tough but was too busy to imagine what a nice quiet life would be like. This morning I woke up to silence--Steve and one son is off with the YM and my other 2 kids still living at home probably won't budge unless I decide to wake them up...I didn't. My house is a complete mess and I have no little kids to blame it on. My house will probably stay a complete mess until about the time my hubby gets home because nobody else cares about it! Don't knock on my door or bother to call me--I'm not home--I'm on vacation...if only in my mind! ;) I thought about all the things I needed to do today but then I looked outside and saw the clouds and thought naaaah, there's always tomorrow. I love rainy days! Seriously, I think I got more done in the day when I had less time to get it done--so amazing how that works! I was better about cleaning because I had to do it all the time or the house would implode. Now, it's worse. Okay, but I will say that it was a huge bonus this morning when Sarah, my 13 year old came up and told me she did the dishes! Wow! Without even being asked?! Pinch me! Am I still alive?! Kids have no idea how little they need to do to make a parents day--hooray! Never mind that there was the sound of glass breaking when she unloaded the dishes. That hardly raised an eyebrow. I did think it was cute that she put the broken glass on top of a handwritten note that explained that the glass broke and she had no idea how it happened--ha! That just added to my joy today! :) Hang in there--it gets better! And think of the stories you'll be able to tell them when your older, if you can remember them!