Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Bachelorette: Living Like a Gypsy King

I loved last night's episode of the Bachelorette.  Emily has some spunk and I'm so glad she sent Alesandro packing during the cocktail party.  His little rant about how "marrying a woman with a child is a compromise" made no sense.  It just made Emily mad.  And I'm not sure he even understands what the word compromise means.  His intonation pattern was hilarious.  I laughed out loud when he talked about living like a gypsy king.  He said it again in his exit interview in the limo!  The best was when he said to Emily, "you don't plan for a kids and a family..it just happens.  Like you forget to use protection one night and BAM!  You're a dad!  He may be the stupidest guy ever on the history of the show:

Let's start at the beginning.  I only got to see the first part of Emily's date with Chris because our DVR crapped out and skipped ahead to the group date.  Did anyone else see the whole date?  I heard I missed Luke Bryan.  Bummer.  I like Chris but I don't see why she thinks he is so hot.  I loved it when Chris said, "Emily looks really hot in a harness."  Seriously?

I thought the group date was lame.  Like bringing in a bunch of kids and asking these guys to play with them will show Emily what kind of dad they would be.  Anyone can be enthusiastic and fun for a twenty minutes with someone else's kid on a playground.  I'm just glad no one has a hidden camera on me when I take my kids to the park.  I'm usually sitting on a bench texting or complaining to a friend about the heat/cold/wind. 

The best part of the date was Emily's blond friend asking the guys the questions like "have you ever had a one night stand? or "have you ever cheated on your girlfriend?"  I loved when she starting telling Sean how hot he was.  I thought she stole the show.  Sean and Doug were the clear favorites with the  Emily's friends.  Sean knows all the right things to say and I think he is genuine.  We will see.  Doug still bugs me.  He is a little too intense and plays the dad card too hard.  I do feel bad for him with his story about growing up in foster care.

And were you all dying at Ryan when he said he wants Emily to stay in shape after they get married.  If she gets fat, he "would love her but wouldn't love ON her."  Sheesh.  That was classic and HE STILL GOT A ROSE.  Idiot. 

I loved how she sent Tony home because he missed his son and she didn't see a future with him.  I thought she was really classy about it.  She continues to impress me.

I still really like Jef.  And yes, Kaari, he only has one F.  His hair kind of bugs me but I can get over it.

And speaking of bad hair, who the heck is this guy?  He never speaks.

I was hoping she would cut Kalen on the spot when he demanded that Emily let him finish when she interrupted him.  He looked awful last night and I died that he still got the rose.  I am convinced the producers made her give it to him.  I loved Emily's line "I love tall, skinny and funny.  I don't love tall, skinny and condescending."  Amen sister.

Travis, aka (Horton..thanks Greg for the nickname) decided that it was time to get rid of the stupid ostrich egg.  Don't you love how the producers used that clip of Emily throwing the egg in the previews to make it look like she was mad at Travis.  I wish she was.  He is a baffoon.

Are we all loving Arie?  He is so cute and they are cute together.  He will be in the final two.  That was a really cute date at Dollywood.  I have a soft spot in my heart for Dolly Parton. That woman has abused the plastic surgery but she is still one of my favorites. 

Next week, we are off to Bermuda.  I predict the fireworks will start and she will be kissing everyone.  I think Arie is the only guy she has kissed so far.  Good for her!


Liz said...

I was a big fan of Arie, but you won't be if you read some crap out there about him. Don't read it because it will burst your bubble. I wish I hadn't.

What is it with Jef? Really? He reminds me of Jaime Kennedy (and that's not good).

Ashley said...

Your timing is superb--I just finished the show.

I am delighted to nit pick your mistakes a la Mickey/Stevie last week. They are going to BERMUDA next week, and she looks tall, SKINNY and funny. Kalen is GONE after that--what a terd. That may fly in normal dating but not on the bachelorette.

You need to catch the Chris date on hulu or something. It was good and he totally grew on me. She seemed to really like him and I'm pegging him, Arie, and Sean as top four. (The previews helped.)

It was good to see Stevie go. At least he left with his dignity intact. I mean, as much dignity as he was clinging to by that point.

I feel like they are showing us more real conversations (foster care, parenting, what if I get fat, etc.) and not just talking about bring there for the right reasons the whole time.

Linda said...

Okay, now it's my turn to nit pick Ashley's mistakes. . .she "LIKES" tall, skinny & funny. Is Kalen a "TURD" or a "NERD?" Chris, Arie & Sean are only 3 of the top four. . .and it's about "BEING" there for the right reasons.
(Oh, that was fun) And I can't remember the names, so I will have to wait to comment when we're down to about 6.

Greg said...

This was my favorite episode to watch so far. I think you hit all the highlights in this recap.

Alessandro's couple of lines ("living like a Gypsy King" and not "planning for a kids and family") rivaled Joe's comments from his date last week:

Emily: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"

Joe: "Happy."

Emily: "What does that mean to-- you?"

Joe: "If I'm lucky enough to be with you at the end, I will move anywhere you want me to and I will [insert dramatic pause] start a life."

Really? I'm glad that at the end of 5 years he's willing to "start" a life. I'm not sure what he intends to do in the interim.

Horton is a lot more likable now that his egg is gone. He seems almost benign compared to some of the other "characters" on the show.

We didn't really see it this week, but Stevie had a real vicious side to him. He won't be missed. Nor will his dancing.

Greg said...

Also, Ashley you are right...after a Caveman Bachelor season where no one accused anyone else of not being there "for the right reasons" (because nobody really cared about Caveman Ben), I heard the "right reasons" catch phrase bandied about at least 3 or 4 times.

Molly said...

For some strange reason I just read this entire post. (I don't follow this show--never got into it.) But all the absurd things you just mentioned about the dumb guys on this show almost makes me want to watch it. Almost. (By the way, it's late, and I'm not even sure that second to last sentence even made sense. But I'm so tired I couldn't figure out another way to say it.)

Em said...

I actually still cannot stand Chris. I don't know if you caught that part, but he's young--25, I think?--and Emily didn't loved that. He just seems a little...boring. He lacked confidence on the date to make a move on her. He finally did, and then for the rest of the episode talked about their deep connection.

Didn't you love how on the group date one of Emily's friends said to the guys that she wanted to make sure they were there for the right reasons? I laughed that she would actually drop that line.

I know we're only three episodes in, but the way Arie was comforting Emily after she sent Alesandro home reminded me of J.P. on Ashley's season. Steady and confident but not obnoxious.

I totally agree with you about Doug and Sean. Although, I'm not a huge Sean fan yet, either.

And every time Ryan pops up I get Beyonce's "Ego" in my head.

Oh, but I love Dolly, too. I liked that part a lot.

Em said...

And Ashley, you have got to stop defaming Mickey's name by /-ing it with Stevie's!!! I just can't take it.

Although, I loved that you called Kalen a terd. Love it.

The DeVito's said...

I think she kept Kalen for the drama in the house - without him all the guys get along. I think the producers made her.

I don't understand why she thinks Chris is so hot. He's got weird little eyes. I do like Arie. I was dying over Alessandro - what a moron!

Denise said...

I'm spending most of my time listening to the show while I paint rather than paying really close attention so I appreciate your wrap ups. I actually think Ryan ranks number one in the stupid category. It should be common knowledge that you don't drop the "I don't want you to get fat card" until the girl is so committed that there would be major consequences if she left. After the first date? He's just asking to be kicked to the curb. The compromise guy is a close second, though. I was read your last post to my hair dresser who thought it was dead on and hilarious, btw.

Stephanie Eldredge said...

Hooray, you are watching Bachelorette! :) I was wondering if I would have the joy of reading your blog while following the show. After seeing Emily on her date with Arie I thought we were ready for the finale. I'll be surprised if it's not him in the end! Bummer that there is dirt on him, I'm glad I haven't read about it yet. I can't remember the names of the other ones I like yet. Just the ones I don't like :)

Can't believe she kept Mr. Roid Rage after his comments, or Scarecrow after he basically told her to shut up and listen to him first...geesh. Steve says that when Alesandro used the word compromise it has a different meaning--and that it was a misunderstanding. Still, a gypsy king and saying he would be the "chief" of the house was just weird. I think it was funny to hear what was coming out of his mouth--miscommunication or not, it was funny.