Saturday, May 12, 2012

You're Doing Okay Mom!

Have you seen this commercial? 

It is my new favorite.  It makes me cry because I remember very distinctly what it was like to bring my first baby, Luke, home from the hospital.  I had no clue what I was doing with nursing and it would take two hours for Luke to eat.  When he was done, I had an hour and it was time to start all over again.  We did this Around.The.Clock.  I was up all night, every night.  I was a basket case.  I was stressed.  I thought I was doing everything wrong and I would look at moms in the ward with four kids and wonder how the heck they were doing it.  I remember saying to Sam, "It will be a miracle if I can just keep this baby alive for the first year."

Well, fast forward almost nine years.  Luke is alive and kicking.  And I still make all my mistakes on him.  When I am having a really bad day (like yesterday when the house is a disaster, I am running kids from thing to thing to thing, my whiny two year old won't stop crying at Sammie's dance dress rehearsal and insists on being on stage, and I can't find Ryan's $%^%* soccer socks, and then Luke tosses a block at Ryan and it hits him in the mouth and I completely lose my cool.)  I go crazy on Luke when what I really want to scream is that it is hard doing it alone and I am stressed and life wasn't supposed to turn out like this and it's Mother's Day weekend for crying out loud..But I can't. I just get mad at Luke about something that really is no big deal. 

When Sam came last night and picked up the kids, Luke got in Sam's car with tears in his eyes and wouldn't look at me to say goodbye. I went on with my night, heartsick about the way I lost my temper.  I felt like a failure.  Then I saw that commercial and I wept like a baby.  Because I remember feeling like a failure back then and knowing now how I was anything but.  I am proud of myself as a young terrified mother and I am cutting myself some slack now too. 

I guess the point of this post is to say to all the mother's out there...we are doing okay, maybe even better than okay.  We are doing our best and sometimes that is good enough.

And to my own Mom, who always did way better than okay, I love you so much.  I hope you know that.  I don't say thank you enough for being my counselor, babysitter, cheerleader and best friend.  Happy Mother's Day!


Liz said...

You're doing AMAZING! Your kids are sweet, funny, wonderful, and fashion forward. I liked Buster on stage...I just didn't want him to get hurt. We should fit him for a tutu.

Luke will forget.....just like I hope my kids forget half of their upbringing. You are my hero. I think of you often when I'm dealing with my kids alone. I am so proud of you and I wish I could take some of that weight off your shoulders. I promise to be better this summer because I know that is SO hard to have 4 kids around all the time.

Happy Mother's Day. Your kids are the luckiest in the world because they have such a cool, classy, funny, smart, and caring mama.

I needed this commercial.

Greg said...

Brooke, I think that's a really cool Mother's Day tribute to your mom for you to call her your "counselor, babysitter, cheerleader, and best friend."

I know that my mom was all of those--not to mention my biggest fan. I'm still not sure how she did it (and still does it).

I think your blog readers are inspired by your resiliency and ability to deal with adversity. You're a great mom and your kids are lucky to have you.

Ashley said...

I'm crying at the commercial, crying at the post, crying because Mom is the best. . . .

alexandra said...

What a perfect post. I can relate it it so much. I had a similar experience with Andrew (and he would not stay asleep unless held) and I truly could not comprehend how other people could care for other children at the same time as a baby.

You are a wonderful mom. None of us is perfect, and you have it sort of tough right now, no doubt about it. I am glad you are recognizing that and giving yourself a break. You do so much for your kids to love them and support them, and they are who they are because of that love and nurturing. We all make mistakes like the ones you described, but a daresay it is not typical for a mom to do as much with and for her kids as you.

Linda said...

Dear Dear Brookie - thank you for the sweet tribute. I loved it. YOU and your siblings are PROOF that kids turn out well in spite of parenting. No matter how I "lost it" I tried to always let you kids know how much I loved you, and yes, mom isn't perfect. Your kids know that they are loved and valued. You and your kids are doing GREAT!

Natty said...

LoVe this! I feel like I am always saying that about your posts. (even if it is just to myself). You make me laugh through the tears. My Mother's Day was also solo this year & I had a bit of a meltdown Sunday morning getting ready for church. When we walked into church -late- the opening hymn was "Love at Home". I laughed out loud. Heavenly Father has a great sense of humor & I think, if we could step back & see life through His eyes, we would see that we are ALL doing an amazingly okay job. Love you, Brooke, keep doing what you are doing. You are more than okay, my friend.

I LoVe the picture of you, your mom, & Sammie. You all look stunning!

Em said...

Well, thanks. I am sitting here bawling like a baby. Like, close to sobbing.

Beautiful post.

Those Johnson commercials get me every time. Remember the one at Christmas time with all the sleeping little babies to "Silent Night"? Man.

Beautiful post. You are amazing.

Stephanie said...

Thanks for making me cry... Happy Mother's Day!

Brittney Engel said...

Brooke you are amazing and I hope you know that! I loved your post! Thank you for continuing to be such an inspiration to me. I will always look up to you like I did when I was one of your little young women. :)