Sun Valley 2012

Recently, Sam and I took our kids to Sun Valley for the Annual Utah Bar Conference.  When we were married, we generally went to Sun Valley every year and took the kids.  Our kids really love it and were sad they didn't get to go last year (when we were in the throws of getting separated.)  This year, Sam got a condo and invited me to come along and split up our time with the kids.  It was very Bruce and Demi of us. I am proud that we can do stuff like this for our kids.

Here are the highlights:

The Opening Reception.  The first night, the Bar puts on a reception for all the attorneys and their families.  We get there the second the thing starts so we can get all the good food (because we are classy like that.)  After dinner, I ate two gigantic peanut butter cookies and took one home in my purse that I wolfed down later that night.

There is free ice-skating at the reception and luckily every year, Sam gets the coveted job of dragging the kids around the rink.  His back will never be the same:

Ryan looked extra cute in skates:

We always feed the ducks that first night.  This year, the ducks had mysteriously disappeared so we fed the swans instead.  Yes, there was a "Please Don't Feed the Swans" sign but I justified it because there were no ducks...(good rationale right!)  The best was that my mom (who was also up there) went table to table asking people if they were going to eat their roll and collected a bunch of rolls to feed the swans.  She has no dignity when it comes to her grand kids:

The Paddle boats:  This year, my kids were begging to do the paddle boats.  They looked really cute in their life jackets (and I felt like an awesome mom for a few minutes)

Then we started peddling and Buster and Sammie were dead weight.  Imagine peddling a bike up hill through water.  That is basically the idea of paddle boats.

Luke and Ryan enjoyed it though:



Sun Valley is gorgeous in the evening.  I loved hanging out on the grounds with our good friends the Hawkins and just tossing a football around:

And stealing kisses from this guy:

One of the funnest and most hilarious parts of the trip was discovering this pogo stick at a toy store on the property:

Luke became obsessed with it and got really good at it.  I decided to try it and it is way harder than it looks.  My kids got some awesome photos of me doing it.  They could really blackmail me one day:

I challenged our friend Jason (who is about 6'6) to give it a try and he did..I love this action shot.  Hilarious:

I will always associate Sun Valley with biking.  I was able to take a bike ride with my parents on Friday because that was Sam's day to have the kids (Notice my sweet Goldilocks Jersey!  That was a gift.)



We also did lots of swimming but for some odd reason I have no pictures from that (except one of Sam cramping as he got out of the pool that he would kill me if I posted!)  It was so great to see so many old friends in Sun Valley as well.

I rode home with my parents and they introduced me to the Jack In the Box taco.  Where has it been all my life?  I ate three and they were delicious!

Sammie didn't want to say goodbye to her BFF Halle.  But hopefully they will get to do it all again soon!

For Morris

Growing up, Ashley and I referred to my dad as "Morris."  In Ferris Beuller's Day Off, Cameron and Ferris totalled Cameron's dad's vintage Ferrari.  Ashley and I always loved Cameron's line "When Morris gets home, he and I will have a little chat."  I had plenty of times in high school and college waiting for my dad to get home so we could have a similar chat.  And that is how we started calling my dad Morris.

I haven't called him that in years, but somehow, it still fits him.  My dad is a dude that demands respect.  Most of my boyfriends were afraid of him and for good reason.  He doesn't play games.  He is hilarious but can be pretty intimidating.

My dad means more to me each year.  Now that I am a full fledged adult (35 for crying out loud) I understand a bit more about the sacrifices he made for me and still makes for me.  Just recently, I had a friend over to my parents' house and he couldn't believe my dad drove the piece of crap that he drives.  My dad is a federal magistrate judge and could drive any awesome car he wants.  But he chooses to drive a beat up 94' Toyota Corolla with a bazillion miles on it.  My mom got a brand new car last year.  That's how he rolls.   Material things are not important to him and he would rather my mom have money to spend on the grandkids, etc.

The last two years, I have been through a lot of emotional heartache.  My mom and sister and friends have listened to me for hours and helped me work through a lot of it.  But there were times (sometimes at 11:00 at night or the middle of his workday) that I needed to call my dad and get advice.  And he always had the time and the best advice.  My dad doesn't hold back.  He will tell you exactly what he is thinking and sometimes it is hard to hear.  But he is always right.  And I know he loves me more than anyone (except maybe my mother) so I know he has my best interest at heart.   He gave me the courage to pull the trigger on my divorce because he demanded happiness for me.  He wouldn't allow me to stay in a situation where I wasn't going to be able to be happy.  I love him for that.

Last weekend, he came over to my house to help me with my car that wouldn't start and ended up helping me with my finances and insurance as well.  Even though it completely freaked him out to see how disorganized I am, ("Brookie, you have got to get organized!" repeated over and over...) he gave me good advice and helped me get on top of things.

Today, I am grateful for you, Dad.  You have taught me what a real man is.  You are strong in the gospel. You always lead out in our family and have high expectations for us in every area of our lives.  I really appreciate the influence you are on my children.

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day to Sam, too, who is the father of my children.  I will always love him for giving me four bright, beautiful, happy kids.  They love him to pieces and I appreciate that he is a fun, involved, committed dad.

Happy Father's Day to the men who read this blog..yes both of you. haha.  Good fathers make a huge impact in the lives of their children and I don't think we celebrate good dads enough.  This is your day!

New Year, New Life

Without a doubt this last year and a half has been the hardest time of my life. I don't know how to lead up to what I am about to say so I will just say it. My marriage is ending. Sam and I are getting divorced. I know that for many of you, this will come as a total shock. It still seems surreal to me on so many levels. I never ever thought I would be someone who would get divorced...that is something that happens to other people. I even remember assuring my children a couple years ago when they asked what divorce was, that Sam and I would never get divorced. Never say never.



I will not be sharing the details of why we are getting divorced here out of respect to Sam and our children. But I will say that I will always love Sam and I truly believe we will always be friends. He is a fantastic father and his children mean the world to him. I am proud of the life we had and the children that we are raising together. And speaking of our kids, by far and a way, the hardest part of divorce is trying to explain to our children why dad is moving out when they have never seen us fight or even argue. My children are heartbroken but are doing amazingly well for the most part.



I have learned so much through this trial in my life. It is so cliche to say but it is true that our trials refine us. This experience has changed me into a stronger, more compassionate, deeper person..the person Heavenly Father wanted and needed me to be. I am convinced that while Heavenly Father didn't want this for our family, he knew that this was the only way for me to grow in that way. My testimony is stronger, I have more confidence in myself and my abilities and quite frankly, I have seen miracles this year with my children and in my home. I know my Savior Jesus Christ on a more intimate level and His Atonement means so much more to me now.

I also have grown so close to my family and I can honestly say I would not have survived this last year and a half without their unwavering support and love. I am so lucky to have them. Ashley has given me hundreds of hours of free therapy. Sam's family is wonderful too and have been very supportive of both of us as well. I also have the most incredible friends. People who love me even when I am not funny or even all that fun to be around.



I know the path ahead is not going to be easy. I still have some really dark days. I was doing really well for a long time and some days now I feel like I am right back to where I started. My therapist tells me grief is cyclical and I am mourning the death of my marriage and the life I thought I was going to have. Sometimes, I think I am doing fine and then something completely small and insignificant will put me over the top. It is especially hard for me to look at old photographs and videos of our family. I don't know what to do with my memories of the last 13 years. I had such a happy marriage. And while I am grateful for that, it also makes this whole thing harder in a lot of ways.



The great news for me is that I get to stay in our home and I don't have to go back to work. It is a priority for Sam to have me stay home with our kids and he wants to keep providing for us and wants our lives to stay the same. He is a good person and I am so grateful that we get along and still do things together with our children. We spent a lot of time together over the holidays and I am happy that he will still be in my life.

I remember telling a friend that I was getting divorced a couple months ago. She looked at me and said "What are you going to DO?" and repeated it several times completely frantic. I just looked at her and said "Probably get up tomorrow morning, get my kids breakfast, put my shoes on, take them to school, go to the gym...." Life goes on. The point is to not let this break me. I can go to bed and be sad for months or I can just pick up the pieces and keep going forward. I know there are good things to come...brighter days ahead. I know that. And I am excited to see what this new year will hold for me and my kids.

My Own Brand of Mangy

My sister recently did a post where she made the point that a mangy baby is the sign of a good summer.

If that is the case, I must be having a good summer:



Barefoot, mangy Buster and I shared a hot dog at Costco tonight for dinner. I think I did earn some points for being at Costco.

And if a mangy baby is the sign of a good summer, a mangy kid is the sign of a great summer:



And if a mangy kid is the sign of a great summer, a mangy husband is the sign of a totally awesome summer:



Sam in all of his mangy glory while we took the kids to visit my friend's cats. That's how we roll folks.

May summer never end...

Best of San Diego

Sam and I returned Sunday evening from a trip to beautiful San Diego. The Utah Bar conference was there this year instead of Sun Valley. Sam and I decided to make it a real vacation and leave the kids home. I love San Diego. I lived there for five years when I was a kid and if money was no object, Sam and I would move back tomorrow. Here are the best things from our trip:

Best Meal: Blue Ribbon Pizzeria in Encinitas. Sam and I were driving up PCH on Sunday before going to the airport and found this pizzeria. They do the most divine artisan pizzas. Everything is organic (which is very important to me (wink) and they have the best bruschetta I've ever eaten:



Best Dessert: Ghiradelli's malt. Sam is not one to go light on desserts. My cousin told me about a place called Extraordinary desserts that we also hit hard, but we both liked good old Ghiradelli better. We ordered a malt and a brownie sundae but the malt was the best. We went to a movie after eating both desserts and I felt so sick the entire time. I've got to stop eating to the point of complete illness--I did it at least three times on this trip.



Best Company for a Meal: My aunt and uncle and cousin Kelly, and my parents. My cousin Kelly is one year younger than me and we grew up together. She is hilarious and my aunt Pandy and uncle Mark and like second parents to me. I love them!



Best Pool: Marriott Marquis downtown San Diego. This one seems obvious since there was only one pool on the trip. But this pool was the nicest pool I've ever been to in my life, even nicer than our pool in Hawaii...palm trees everywhere, shade, waiters bringing me fruity drinks at the snap of my fingers...I don't know why I came home.



As a side note, I felt very mom-ish in my tankini. I honestly think I was the only woman out there not in a bikini. Young, old, big, small, everyone had on a bikini. Which leads me to...

Best Awkward Moment: There were two extremely beautiful, blond, tan teenage girls (from somewhere in Europe) directly in front of us by the pool. (I referred to them as the Swedish bikini team). They both removed their tops and were sunbathing lying on their stomachs. At one point, they both sat up and veeerrrrry slowly put their tops back on (exposing their breasts for what seemed like an eternity.) I looked over at Sam, who was locked on, mouth slightly agape, making no attempt to avert his gaze. No, I did not get a picture.

Best Book: Tiny Fey's Bossy Pants. I think Tiny Few is sooooo funny. Sometimes I would laugh so hard I had to put the book down. Do yourself a favor and buy it today.



Best Shopping: Horton Plaza (only because it was within walking distance from the hotel.) I did some serious damage at Nordstrom and Gap--40% off sale stuff plus I had a coupon for an additional 25% off. Think how much I saved!! Two of the outfits I purchased for Sammie:




Best Shopping Companions: Paul and Linda Warner. My parents were at the same conference. When Sam would go on his four hour bike rides, I would go shopping with my mom and dad. I totally felt like I was back in high school, with mom showing me all the "really amazing" bathrooms, and my dad paying for lunch. He has the patience of Job when it comes to my mom's shopping. The man can follow her for hours and not say one word.

When we were at Horton Plaza, my dad and I got laughing about when we were there on a trip when I was in high school. I was in the Jessica McClintock store trying on Homecoming dresses (they were the rage in 1994) and I left my jean jacket (also the rage) in the dressing room. We came back an hour later and it had been stolen. That was a tough day for my teenage self.


Mom and Dad in front of "the Del"

Best Fast Food: La Salsa. I ate lunch here two days in a row with the 'rents. They love it. The shrimp tacos are really good.

Best Binge Meal: El Torrito in La Jolla. Fajitas, excellent salsa and gigantic Diet Cokes. What more could a hungry girl ask for?

Best Tourist Trap: Seaport Village. I love their Christmas shop "Mistletoe." They also had this restaurant that made me miss my little Chubby:

Best Laugh: Finding Spanx for men at Nordstrom. There is justice in the world!



Best Celebrity Meeting: CJane in the San Diego airport. I promise I will never bring it up again!

Patriotic Pirates

Ahoy matey! This year for the Fourth of July, my mom built a pirate ship float for all of the grand kids to ride on in the annual East Millcreek parade.

Actually, Sam built the ship, Ashley's husband Tyler sewed and rigged up the sails and my mom did everything else. She really is a creative genius. We thought we might actually have a chance to win this year but once again, no dice. We lost to a very sub-par covered wagon float.

Every year, Sam grumbles about having to do the parade, but honestly, it is so fun and my kids looooove it. This year, the three oldest grand kids walked and threw candy:



The four little boys rode in the float:



and the three babies got pushed in decorated strollers:



All of the kids wore pirate costumes and me and my sister, sisters-in-law and my mom wore these red and white striped shirts I bought on Ebay...of course, my smart aleck brother Rex had to give us a hard time about wearing horizontal stripes:



The back of the float was the only thing I was responsible for. I ordered vinyl lettering and called it a day. It was a four man job getting it on straight.



Because I know you are dying for more, here are some action shots from the parade:





Of course, we finished off the morning at Kneaders eating their chunky french toast and strawberries 'n cream. I'm not much of a breakfast eater but it is DELICIOUS! I may or may not have finished every one's plate:



The rest of the day was low key and I actually got a nap while Sam took the older three kids to Kung Fu Panda 2. I needed the sleep after the crazy weekend we had--it has been Warner-Palooza with tons of activities and dinners and a family picture and Luke's baptism. I will report on that later!

Happy Fourth everyone!