Tuesday, October 16, 2012

The Universe Is Trying to Tell Me to Stop Shopping

I had three horrible incidents in the past week that occurred during shopping trips.

#1.  I was at Walmart on Friday and I got a call from the secretary at my kids' school telling me that Luke had a seizure in the school lunch line, passed out and hit his head.  I was standing in the deli section looking at the ham and cheese.  My heart stopped and I couldn't even think.  I instantly started crying and a worker told me just to leave and he would take care of my cart full of groceries (as if I was worried about that..but I appreciated the gesture.)

By the time I got to school, the ambulance was outside with the lights flashing.  I hurried inside and saw the gurney outside the office.  When I got to Luke, he looked totally fine except that he was covered in syrup.  The EMTs told me they didn't think he had a seizure..just passed out and landed on a girl's lunch tray. Other than Luke telling the EMTs some stuff about Ryan learning how to flip the bird, no harm done.  Luke was only concerned about getting his faux hawk back up and we headed home. 

But I will tell you, in that short drive to the school from Walmart, a lot of things got put into perspective for me.  All of the stupid little things I stress about completely disappeared and I was just concerned about my amazing, sweet, smart boy.  I am still so glad he is okay.

In his new blazer and tie on Sunday.  He doesn't wear the 'hawk to church

#2.  I was at Harmon's yesterday back in the ham and cheese section again (maybe the universe is trying to tell me to not make chicken cordon bleu for dinner!)  All of a sudden, I heard a man yelling at the top of his lungs at the woman next to me.  I heard her say "They're not my children."  I looked over and Buster was running around with a roasting stick (for roasting marsh mellows.)  The man began yelling at me "Your kids are F-ing out of control...you need to control your children!)  He picked the wrong lady to yell at, especially about my kids.  I screamed back in his face "It's none of your damn business!  My kids are fine. Get away from me!"  I was seriously ready to jump on his back and kill him with my bare hands.  Remember this incident?  Yeah..like that.

Right at that moment, his mentally handicapped grown adult son jumped out holding a roasting stick and yelling the F word at me.  Mayhem people!


 I just grabbed my kids and started down the aisle.  My neighbor Tom English happened to walk up right at that moment and asked what was going on.  I told him and burst into tears.  He gave me a quick hug and then went busting over to the two men  and yelled "You got a problem..you deal with me!"  I honestly thought they were going to go to blows!  Loooong story short, the two men were escorted from the store by security and I got a 25$ gift card for my troubles.  I was very very grateful for my awesome neighbor for being in the right place at the right time.

#3.  Today I was at Gymboree with Buster and he was begging for my 44 oz Diet Coke.  Yes, the child loves Diet Coke..I'm a sub par mom.  I gave it to him to pacify him and moments later he dropped it on the floor and it sprayed all over a rack of clothing.  While I was cleaning it up with an entire roll of paper towels..he came and walked through it and slipped and fell into the mess...getting completely wet.  This incident was the most minor of the three but it was a nightmare to clean up.

Soooo, I am avoiding any kind of store for the next while.  I guess I can't stop shopping completely.  I still have to return to Walmart to pay for the half eaten bag of Snicker's bars that were in my cart when we rushed out!


leandparkermakes3 said...

Brooke! I'm so glad Luke is o.k.! How scary. The Diet Coke thing I could totally see happening to me.

Lesa said...

All three stories are soooooooo funny!!! (Not that Luke passed out but that he was just fine and only worried about his hair).

Natalie said...

Holy crap!

Liz said...

I would have taken eyes out if someone said that to me at Harmons. Don't mess with Mama Bear.

Soooooo glad Luke was O.K. My kids were very concerned after school that day.

Sorry about Gymboree. That sucks.

Linda said...

The first thing I thought when I heard about the "crazies" in Harmon's was, "they picked the WRONG woman to mess with!!" It was reminescent(sp)of Brooke at lunch at Canyon View when the 6th graders would pick on the little first graders and try to make them give up their desserts. The other little ones would be intimidated, but not the Brookie. She would stand up and give 'em hell! She intimidated the 6th graders. (As reported to me by her 1st grade teacher at PT conferences...I was so proud!!)
What cute pics of Luke and Buster!

SewSara said...

you always have the best stories! (although luke's story is not good, i'm glad he's ok.)

stick to online shopping?

Em said...

Those three stories are seriously the craziest stories I have ever heard. I think your post title is absolutely true. You should totally heed it's call for the time being.

I tried clicking on your link to "this incident" but it says it's not available for public viewing...weird.

I am sooo glad that Luke is okay and that you have such awesome an awesome neighbor, although clearly you can handle things yourself! You're amazing.

The Mostess said...

What a horrible week!

How did all of these people have pokey marshmallow roasting sticks?

UGH to the DC spill. I was trying to finagle B's stroller up stairs at a crowded museum, and spilled a huge DC from the top of the stairs down to the bottom. I tried to clean it up with a sweatshirt, then resorted to diapers. I feel your pain.

brooke said...

Em, I think I got the links fixed. Thanks for letting me know.

Megan said...

I am so glad Luke's okay. Those first born sons are so precious. Did they ever find out why he passed out?

And love your neighbor. Hi five him for me.

Ashley said...

I love the second story. Sometimes I just wish someone would assault me like that so I could rip them apart.

Jill said...

Holy Crap, I'm so glad Luke is okay!!!

I think the Universe IS trying to tell you not to shop, maybe to stay home, who knows?

I can't even imagine the roasting stick showdown in real life, but how in the world did you end up with a gift card?!

The 44ouncer would have stressed me out majorly, what did they do about those clothes? You probably got away with it because your a Gold Medallion customer in their store!

LAURA said...

love it. did you hear jef with one f is back on the market? Go get 'em!

Elizabeth said...

Wow all those things are horrible! I can sympathize about the crazy people (when it happened to me and the kids ... I was pretty shaken up). Please dont stop shopping... I love hearing about all your awesome purchases.
Also I blogged yesterday ...and it in loved your pink cardi.

melissa walker said...

That is crazy!