Rather than bore you with a day by day travelogue of the whole trip--I give you my condensed version in the same format as our annual Christmas card.
Kauai 2009: It was the Best of Times...It Was the Worst of Times1. I began the trip with a deep dark spray-on tan.
By the end of the trip, I had splotchy legs, albino feet and a pretty sweet “tan line” on my chest.
2. We enjoyed 7 days at the Marriott Kauai Beach Club Resort in exchange for sitting through a "90 minute" timeshare presentation.
Unbeknownst to us, 90 minutes really means 3 hours of psychological warfare.
3. We rediscovered our adventurous sides by hiking to Kipu falls where we flung ourselves into a pool of water on a rope swing.
We discovered that being adventurous increased our appetites, and we ate four square meals a day.
4. Sam and I both got lei’d in Kauai.
Unfortunately it was at church (by the Relief Society President!
)
5. We took a four hour boat tour of the beautiful Na Pali coastline.
I got sea sick and spent the four hours just trying not to barf off the side of the boat.
Me in sick-town. When they pulled out the sandwiches, I had to get in the water just to avoid seeing people eat.
6. Thanks to my sis-in-law Heidi, we discovered you can get a wicked white trash apple pie a la mode at McDonald’s by ordering their fried (not baked) apple pies with an ice-cream cone on the side.
Sam rear-ended a guy in McDonald’s drive-thru on one of our trips to get this delicacy.
7. We kayaked up the Wailua river and hiked to Secret Falls.
Instead of enjoying the scenery, Sam thought we were in the Olympic time trials and made sure we passed every other kayak on the river.
8. We visited several Kauai landmarks such as Waimea Canyon, Queen’s Bath, and Spouting Horn.
We took more pleasure in visiting Kauai's eateries such as Puka Dogs, Jo Jo’s Shave Ice and Scotty’s BBQ.
9. We rekindled our romance by taking long walks on the beach at night.
We then extinguished that flame by both collapsing into our separate double beds in the hotel room.
10. For the red eye flight home, I took a Benadryl and an Ambien and slept like a baby.
I have no recollection of getting off the plane or riding home from the airport with Sam’s parents. His family is now staging a drug intervention for me.