(I Was) the King of Pop

When I was in High School, I dressed up as Michael Jackson and performed Thriller with some of my friends in an assembly. This was back in the day when painting my face black was still okay--or I thought it was. I loved Michael Jackson back then. In fact, since he died, my friends have been wondering why I haven't posted about it.

I know I'm totally late in posting this. The reason is that I have been trying to find the old VHS tape of my performance to put on my blog. My mother spent the better part of her weekend digging through old tapes trying to find it--to no avail.

When I was at BYU, my roomates and I performed the dance again for a talent show. These are some really bad pictures (and I had on brown shoes--which sucks!) but you get the picture. My roomates were dressed up as the Jackson 5 and did a number from his early days and then I came out and we did Thriller. I'm sure this got me a lot of dates.

My cousin Liz made a really good point on her blog last week. She was talking about Michael and she said she can separate his personal life from his art. I can too. Yes, he's a mess. Yes, he did questionable things at his Neverland ranch. Yes, he's deformed himself with waaaaay too much plastic surgery but will there ever be a better dancer? No. He took the world by storm in the 80s. I loved "Beat It." I loved "Billy Jean is not my Lover," I loved the "Smooth Criminal" video. I have the entire Thriller video memorized--who doesn't?

My point is--you gotta give Michael some love. He is a legend.

Stupid Girl

I am physically ill right now. Wes? Are you serious Jillian? Wes is such a liar. I have never had so much annoyance for someone on tv (other than Joy Behar from the View.)

Wes is so shifty, conniving and he's not even into her. Wes keeps saying "I'm not a good liar." He's not. I don't know why Jillian can't see right through him. I don't even like Jillian anymore. When she went ahead to meet his family, I lost all respect for her. Quite frankly, I don't even care if Wes has a girlfriend. I just think the guy is smarmy. Even though the whole confrontation ("the most dramatic in Bachelor history") with Jake was so staged, Jake is honest, reliable and real. He had real feelings for Jillian and would have treated her like a queen.

I loved Jesse. I loved his family. He is a man. He is darling. What a loss.

Ed does nothing for me anymore. His coming back was soooo scripted and played. Lame. I liked Reid better on this episode. He had the best family. Kiptyn strikes me as a little too smooth and perfect. His mother is C-R-A-Z-Y.

And Michael. Poor, poor, sweet Michael. I know I wanted him gone but the little guy has grown on me. He LOVES her. She dumped Michael, Jake and Jesse--the three guys the most crazy about her. She is a stupid girl who is going to get hurt again.

One thing I have learned from watching years of Bachelor/ette is that a person's true character is revealed in how they conduct themselves in their exit interview. Jesse and Michael left with class.


Yuck, yuck, yuck. I hate the show. I hate that I'm even writing this post and I hate myself even more that I'll be tuning in next week to see more of the disaster. Now I'm rooting for Wes--just so she can have him in all of his smarminess.

P.S. can you even imagine how this is going to backfire on his music career?

p.s.s. How dumb was that "phone call" that Jake made to Tanner right before he talked to Jillian. Come on producers--do I look that stupid? On second thought-don't answer that.

Eleven Ladies Lunching

I went to lunch with ten very fun ladies this week. (Marni left before we got the picture.) I love nothing more than sitting down to yummy girl food (salads, soup, sandwiches, mint brownie) and laughing about all the latest gossip and silly stuff women talk about. I swear I could be disfellowshiped for half the stuff I say when I get a few diet cokes in me.

Earlier in the week, I went to a picnic lunch with four of my friends from my old ward. It had been years and years since I've seen these girls and it was so fun to reminisce about the old stories--I would say "Remember when Robbie Brown ate the stick of butter at the etiquette dinner when we were fourteen" and they remember! Old friends are the best kind!

Last night, I finally got the blog links on my side bar up and going. Give me a break, it's only been 9 months since I started my blog. Anyway, I realized that as many of my friends went private, they basically fell off my radar. Bloglines doesn't pick-up private blogs and thus, I was really bad at checking all of them regularly.

But last night, as I was adding the private blogs to my sidebar, I checked up on my friends. It was as if I was having a virtual lunch with all my friends who have private blogs. We laughed and talked about the crazy stuff our kids are doing and caught up with each other. I vow to never get that behind again on checking private blogs--I have no excuse now that they are each just a click away.

That is what I love about blogging. You can stay in touch with people in a way that is not possible through just emailing or facebook. You really get a glimpse into their lives. I have met some really fun girls through blogging--people I would have never met any other way and now they are dear friends. (yes, I just said dear friends--like I'm seventy years old!) So all of my friends without blogs--Lori, Lisa, Noelle, Kristen, Joy, sister-in-law Sarah, sister-in-law Katie, cousin Kelly, I could go on and on--get cracking!

Snowbird in the Summer

Last night, the kids and I drove up to Snowbird to pick up this big, stinky, sweaty guy wearing spandex. If you read my sister's post about my dad a couple weeks ago you will realize that this it the exact opposite of what my mom does with my dad. My dad runs downhill and she picks him up at the bottom. In our case, Sam rides his bike up Little Cottonwood Canyon and I pick him up at the top. (He is a big fraidy cat and hates riding down that canyon.)

We do this at least once a week for the entire summer. I usually stop at Subway or Blimpie and pick up dinner and we have a picnic on top. If you haven't been to Snowbird lately, it is really fun. They have inflateable toys. We are usually the only ones there and they let my kids bounce for as long as they want.


They also have a poor man's alpine slide which is actually pretty fun. There is a zipline too and I keep begging Sam to let me go on it so I can pretend I'm on the Bachelorette. He doesn't want to pay for it.

There is also a mechanical bull that Sam keeps begging me to let him ride. I won't allow it. A man riding a bull in spandex shorts is just not right.


Ryan was really happy eating a hunk of bread.


He dropped it and a squirrel ran over and grabbed it and ran off.

Ryan was heartbroken and I got to console him. I love this little man-child. He is so cute right now, I could spread him on a cracker and eat him.

Does anyone else visit "the Bird" in the summer? I now make it a point to only visit in the summer. One fall, Sam dragged me to do the "Hidden Peak Challenge" at Snowbird. You basically race up the entire mountain and ride the Tram back down. I finished third to last behind a 70 year old man and a guy with a prosthetic leg. Sam still brings it up to taunt me. So I guess I don't feel bad telling you that Sam about passed out riding the tram back down the mountain the day of the race! He doesn't like heights or speed.

Back to the Well

Yes, It's Monday and I'm going back to the Bachelorette well for blog material. I owe it to Em who doesn't have the capability to watch the show but gets it vicariously through my blog posts!

Isn't the Bachelorette the kind of show that is best enjoyed with a bunch of girlfriends and good food and shrieking over all the really lame things that are done/said? In desperation, I forced Sam to watch it with me.

Here is what I'm thinking:

I love Jesse. He's perfect for Jillian and he is real. He doesn't say dumb stuff.

I love Kiptyn. Jillian is really attracted to him and we know he gets a fantasy date in Spain because he's in all the preview clips.

I totally knew Jake wasn't getting a rose. He is the NICEST guy ever and so real. However there was just no chemisty between them. Did you see the last kiss on the train--it was like a grandma kiss. Sometimes Jake makes me cringe because he is such a cheeseball but he has a real job and I wanted to cry for him when he said "Nice guys really do finish last." So lame that the producers are bringing him back. Let the guy have his dignity--that's all he has left. No, they have to bring him back, in his little pilot uniform, to tattle on Wes.

Michael is only still here because she had to let creepy "huge package"--what in the crap was he dropping his drawers for--Tanner go and she really needed to let Jake go before she led him on any longer. My favorite clip of the night was when Michael cried when Robbie got cut. He cried because it was getting "so real!"

Speaking of Robbie, I liked Robbie. He was cute and legit but I'm glad Jillian cut him. He is a bartender for crying out loud. No offense to those in that line of work, but talk about dead-end. I loved it when he said "love doesn't have a job." No it doesn't Robby. Bye bye.

Reid--I know so many of you love Reid. I don't see it. He is quirky, weird and have you noticed their conversations are completely meaningless and stupid. They start kissing just to fill the air. I really dislike Reid. I think shallow when I think Reid.

And Wes. Skeezy. He is so honest about his true intentions that I wonder if the producers have put him on the show just for drama. If Jillian picks him, she deserves him.

Now for the rumors circulating. My blogging friend Kami sent me a message today telling me that Us magazine is reporting that Kiptyn, Reid and Ed were all paid 50 grand to go on the show. If it's true, what a disapointment. Are the producers that stupid? They need to stay out of it. I'm growing tired of their antics--you know Ed is going to come back and now Jake--who's next--freakin' Jason?

Happy Father's Day Sam

Sam and Luke, San Francisco, May 2005

This photo says it all. You're the best. Happy Father's Day!

In Defense of the World's Ugliest Birthday Cake and Happy Birthday Luke!

This is the cake I served at Luke's birthday party for the family last night.

While it is true that this cake has white frosting and no other decoration other than an old Mr. Incredible figure I found in the bottom of the toy box,

And while it is also true that the cake is sloping on one side and is also sitting on a very boring cake transporter because I forgot to put it on the cute cake plate,

I maintain that it is the tastiest carrot cake my son will ever eat in his lifetime.

Further, I make no apologies for the cake because I threw him an awesome birthday party today. I went all out cleaning before his party:

I put a wipe on each foot and skate around the kitchen.

I bought him another Spongebob cake he wanted at Harmon's even though it didn't go with the superhero theme of his friend party.

I hosted 7 little boys (all wearing superhero costumes!)

and a little 1 yr old in a Superman cape.

And at the last minute the party had to be moved indoors due to rain and we needed indoor games. Moments before the party, I drew this Mr. Incredible face (FREEHAND for crying out loud!) on a poster board for pin the eye mask on Mr. Incredible.

At one point in the party, one of the little boys yelled "tackle Luke's mom" and they all came after me. Wisely, I yelled, "no, tackle Luke's dad" and they all went after Sam. This was definately a departure from Sammie's Tinkerbell party we had a couple months ago.

Happy Birthday Luke--I'm glad you got your Wii and not the Barbie dollhouse we were threatening!

City Slickers

Monday night we went to the home of one of Sam's partners for a BBQ. This guy lives on serious horse property in Alpine and my kids had the time of their lives.

There was a big horse and a little white pony. The pony's name was Diamonds and had glitter combed through her hair. Her entire coat shimmered. Can you guess which horse Sammie took a liking to?


My kids have never riden horses other than little ponies hooked to the wheel at Thanksgiving Point. Luke loved being on a real horse.

Sammie was all business on the ride.

We got to the BBQ early so my kids rode the horses for awhile before any other kids showed up. When the other kids came, my kids were mad because they kind of thought the horses were theirs for the night.

Ryan just wanted to play in this wagon...and on the tractor...and in the cooler...and everywhere else. As you can see from the picture, I'm now focusing my hopes and dreams for a ballerina on Ryan since Sammie let me down.

This is me wishing I lived on horse property in Alpine.

On the way home, Sammie told me she knows what she wants for Christmas but she's not telling me yet. I hope she likes stuffed animals.

Good-bye horsies!

Mighty Awesome Discovery

My sister Ashley introduced me to Mighty Minis. I hate giving my kids popsicles because inevitably, half-way through eating one, they tire of it and dump it in the garbage (or the grass, or on the patio--but not before they have made themselves completely sticky and ruined whatever they were wearing for the day.)

Enter Mighty Minis. The idea is brilliant. These popsicles are about the size of a chapstick and are made with a hint of gelatin so they are "slow melt." Even Ryan can enjoy one. My kids actually eat the whole thing and usually don't make a mess. I've been known to eat about six after the kids have gone to bed.

If I Were Single and Living in the Greater Illinois Area...

I would be hiring a PI to find Ed right now. I know most of you are thinking I'm crazy--if he couldn't give up the job for Jillian, why would I want someone like that? But I'm impressed that the guy actually 1) has a job, a decent one and 2) takes it seriously. He is a catch and Jillian (to her credit) knew it.

I'm a little embarrassed that I'm posting about the Bachelorette again. But isn't it just such good tv? It's real life people.

And can I just say "Jesse." Yes. He is my new Ed. I overlooked him before and then I saw him getting into the hot tub. Oh my. He is honest, funny and a man's man. My only complaint was that he needed to spit out whatever he was chewing on in the hot tub. He is definately a front runner.


Michael is gone next week. Tanner is soo gone next week. Wes is DISGUSTING and I wince whenever he comes on screen. Please, Please let Jillian see him for who he truly is and let him go.

Mark was nice but way too reserved. I felt bad for the guy. My sister Ashley was right. Pizza entrepreneur probably was code for "works at Little Caesars."

Top three: Kiptyn, Robbie and Jesse. Then to Kiptyn and Jesse. Then Kiptyn--I said it before and I'm stickin' with Kiptyn getting the final rose.

ps. Are the producers eluding to E.D. in the preview of the fantasy suite dates? If so, come on. So tasteless.

I'm Here for the Right Reasons

Are you watching Bachelorette this season? Just admit it--you know you are. My husband is even watching. Here are my random thoughts so far:

1--I'm soooo glad that Scary Larry David didn't get a rose. He was classy right up unti the end when his last words included the F bomb and were bleeped out.

2--That break dance instructor Michael is so buggy. Why is he still here?

3--Tanner and the feet stuff--This guy is so creepy. Can you imagine if he met me and saw my feet? His biggest problem is that he was too cowardly to call out Wes. He looked like he was going to pass out in the rose ceremony. He's not a man.

4--Two hours is way too long for the show. Sam begged me to fast forward my DVR to the rose ceremony and I refused. He had to do his time just like everyone else.

5--Wes is such a con-man. He is totally there for the wrong reasons--to promote his music (which sucks BTW.) I predict Jillian will keep him around until Tanner rats him out next week.

6--My favorite is Ed. I don't know why. I just like him.

7--I think the front-runners are Reid, Kiptyn and Robby. My money is on Kiptyn.

8--I think Jake is the nicest guy on the show--maybe too nice for Jillian.

9--Jillian is abusing the spray-on tan or body make up, maybe both. Tell-tale sign is the tan arms and the white face.

10--If one more person talks about "not being here for the right reasons" I'm turning off the tv. Not really.

Happy Birthday Dad!

Today is my dad's 60th birthday. He doesn't look a day over 59. He has battled skin cancer and diabetes. Add that to my mom's arthritis and hip replacement, and I realize I have a lot to look forward to!

My family has all referred to my dad as Morris since I was in high school. It came from Ferris Bueller's Day off when Cameron kills his dad's Ferrari and he says, "When Morris comes home, we'll have a little chat." I felt like Cameron so many times waiting for "Morris" to get home so he could find out about something I had done (usually to one of the cars.)

My dad is hilarious and smart and very generous. He gives great advice and he loves to talk about himself. I can't hear the song "Walking on Broken Glass" by Annie Lennox and not think of my dad. He used to sit on the couch and play it over and over on his walkman.

One of my most vivid memories of my youth was going to watch my dad's trials. He was a prosecutor and I've never seen anyone before or since who could captivate a jury the way he could. He truly has a gift and he made me want to go to law school and become a prosecutor too.

Dad, thanks for all you have done for me over the years. Have a great day!

Prayer for Summertime

I am so thankful it is finally Summer.

Please help me to remember to be grateful for Summer when Luke begs to have a friend over every.single.day.

Bless me to love the heat since I complained about the cold for the last 8 months.

Help me to actually take my kids to do kid things instead of just to the mall and the gym.

My three kids on the right and my nephew Charlie on the left

Forgive me for never making dinner--oh wait, that is not just a summer thing.

Help me to love my neighbor, even when he wears the same super short red shorts and no shirt every.single.day.

Bless me to actually cut up the watermelon that has been sitting on my counter since Thursday.

Let me have the time to get regular pedicures so Sam is not sickened by my "Kansas city crack-whore feet."

amen.