Bachelorette: Ding Dong the Ox is Gone!

Was there anything more satisfying than seeing Ox go home?  I will miss him though.  His girly white tank top, his torquise pimp shoes, his little triangles that have been so meticulous carved into his beard....Oh Ox, you do delight me!  I seriously went back tonight and watched his date again...just to laugh.  I love how Chris says "He shaves his legs and plucks his fingers..."  I loved the footage of him getting ready for his date with his voiceover talking about what an attractive man he is. He says the world's dumbest things to Emily. Like when Emily shows up and all the guys are there and he says "The world is our pearl" and then says "you're the pearl!" HAHA!  John and Arie are just cracking up on either side of them.

Then on his date, he tells Emily, "I'm a very safe driver..you may not feel safe, but I don't get in accidents."  I was horrified to hear him say that because I use that very same line frequently!  Later, Emily shows up in a gold dress just like a life sized trophy. Ox takes advantage of their time during dinner to pull out another list.  This time it was a list of 10 things he wants his wife to do for him like always encourage him and never ridicule him.  The last one was "catch my eye" and he said he put that in bold because he wants her to have a sexy personality.  I sometimes wonder if this cat is for real.  He is just too much.  He winks at Emily all the time.  Then when she told him he wasn't getting the rose, he went so quiet and manipulative.  I think he is a snake.  I was so so worried that Emily was going to let him talk her into keeping him.  I wish Emily hadn't told him she wasn't confident in her decision.  She said that several times during the night.  Even if you aren't confident, you've got to learn to fake it girl!

Honestly though, Ox got the last laugh because I tried to download a sweet photo of him from the net and ended up with a virus on my computer. Great. Okay, let's back up.  The first one-on-one date was with Travis...egg man.  I have never liked him.  Nothing wrong with the guy..just kind of dorky.  I love how Emily kept talking about his good heart.  That is what you do when there is no physical connection.  "He has all the qualities I am looking for in a husband" not "I could really see myself marrying Travis."  Their date was totally boring and I knew he was getting the ax. He was lucky to stay as long as he did.  Bye bye.

The Highland games were pretty funny.  I loved the guys on the donkeys in their kilts (and especially the clip at the end of them trying to get on the donkeys and get them moving in the right direction.  Not surprisingly, I found Sean more attractive this week.  He dominated the games...and looked good doing it.  Chris, on the other hand, looked so ridiculous.  For a big, strong man, he couldn't do anything and seemed so awkward, especially shooting the arrow.  He has devil eyes and I don't understand why Emily thinks he is so good looking.  I am just not seeing it.

I loved Emily's conversation with Jef with one F outside on the group date.  He gave her his jacket and they had a great talk.  She asked him why he took so long to kiss her and he said it was because he was afraid of her.  She asked him if it was because he was playing a game and he said "Did it work?  Because if it did, than yes, that was my plan."  He is so cute and charasmatic and I really think he is going to get the final rose.  At least I hope he does.   If he were a foot taller and a decade older, I would be all over his action right now.  But alas, I am a big woman and he is a small man.  Bygones.

The other main contender is Arie.  He has a good personality and I just like him.  I don't care that he is a player...he is a player because he can be.  He is good looking and legitimately funny.  I'll take it.  He proved to be the wisest among the guys by sneaking into Emily's hotel and snuggling with her on her bed.  Brilliant.  I wonder where that would have gone if there was no camera man two inches from their feet.  Can you say "mood killer!"

Some time around the cocktail party, Chris Harrison shows up. Where has he been all this time?  He didn't even stand next to Emily during the rose ceremony..he was outside talking to some chick and rumor has it she was the producer that Arie used to date.  (And she's not cute I might add.)  It looked shady.

But before we get to that, the cocktail party had me in stitches.  First, Emily sits down with John who knows his head is on the chopping block.  So what does he do?  He pulls out his dead grandparents' funeral cards.  Now I don't know what these things are but they did the trick.  He went from crying about them to kissing Emily.  Well played John, well played.

Doug on the other hand, should have to turn in his man card.  Emily spends their whole conversation trying to build up his confidence and actually tells him "you need to be confident Doug!"  A few minutes later, we see Doug completely melting down, sobbing to the cameras about something..I don't even remember.  His son?  I don't know.  I just know I was laughing so hard I was crying.  Yes, crying.  I have a black heart.

So Emily decides to go outside and get an extra rose so she can keep both of these dudes.  I think they both could have gone home that night.  Why prolong the inevitable?  Doug espcially needs to be sent packing. 

Next week, we are going to Prague. I can't wait for the Arie drama!