How to Find the Perfect Pair of Shoes--a Step by Step Guide

Remember my post about finding the perfect snow boots?  That was nothing compared to this. That gave you a glimpse into my shopping insanity.  Over the years, I have developed a new way to shop.  No longer do I go out on an endless browse.  This is how I operate these days:

Step 1.  Decide you have a NEED for a particular item (in this case--bright fluorescent, preferable mango-colored) Nikes.

Step 2.  Tell yourself you will not rest until you find the perfect pair.  Isn't there some quote about the greatest cause of unhappiness is trading what we want most for what we want at the moment?  Don't give in to fatigue and just buy the first pair that looks good.

Step 3.  Get online.   Do a search on Amazon, Google images and every shoe place you can think of.  Order anything that looks decent.  Make sure you use your AmEx card (for miles, duh!) and so that nothing is coming straight out of your account.  Make sure you get free shipping.  Sometimes you have to order extra stuff to spend enough for free shipping.  Do it.  You can always return it. 

Step 4.  Get giddy everyday checking the doorstep for packages.  When you get one, open it like it is Christmas morning--you have no idea what is inside because you ordered so much stuff!

Step 5.  Once everything is here..Lay out the shoes for some photos to post on Instagram.  Get your friend's opinions.

Step 6.  Send photos to your boyfriend at work and make him weigh in on the shoes.  He loves this, I promise.  Then when he comes over, try on all the shoes and work out clothes for him in person.  This is really a test to see if he has the stamina to be considered marriage material.

Step 7.  Fast and Pray.  Just kidding.  But do sleep on it for a few nights.

Step 8.  Tell yourself you are going to narrow it down to one pair.  Then rationalize that you had merchandise credit at Famous Footwear so the polka dot pair was almost free and decide to keep two pairs. (The polka dot pair was a bonus pair anyway--your original mission was to find the Mango pair--remember?!)

Step 9.  Wear the perfect pair to the gym.  Pose with your son in his soccer uniform because he is on a team called Orange Crush and you coordinate with him perfectly.

Step 10.  Return 5 pairs of shoes with one trip to the Post Office and UPS store.

Step 11.  Start looking for more workout clothes to match said shoes especially the polka dot pair you were not originally planning to buy.

There you go folks.  I'm not crazy or anything right?!  Don't answer that.