High Maintenance Woman

I would not usually classify myself as a high maintenance woman (at least not in the beauty department.) But lately, all of that has changed. Each year that I get older, I have to try harder to look cute.

A few weeks ago, I saw my hairdresser Holly at the gym. She had the most gorgeous eyelashes. Turns out she had eyelash extensions. I was all over it, not so much because I wanted longer lashes, but because I have always dreamed of dark lashes. I went in and voila--no more mascara for me!



I honestly love them so much, I may have to keep them forever. Did I mention I've quit wearing make-up since I got them...I guess that negates some of the high maintenance right? I also got my eyebrows tinted which also helps me not look like an albino.

A while back, I bought a shellac mani-pedi on Groupon and decided to go use it since I have a family picture and vacation coming up. Look at my pretty nails wrapped around a DC:



Shellac baby! I love it. It's your own nails so you can still do everything but they are super hard and don't chip. Honestly, Shellac, where have you been all my life?

This is in addition to getting my hair done and I'm going in for a spray tan tomorrow for all of the upcoming festivities. Seriously. I can't even keep track of all my appointments. But it is because I have no natural beauty. I shudder at the thought of me as a pioneer. I would have never married.

Now it's your turn. What is your latest high maintenance thing you do in the name of beauty?

ps. Hapari is having a Fourth of July sale where everything is 40% off if you use the coupon code sale40. If you have been thinking about getting a suit from them, now is the time!

How I Know I'm Getting Old

1. I watched highlights of the Royal Wedding and shed tears.



2. I've started to love the I.N.C. department at Macy's (it is also my mother's favorite...what's next, Coldwater Creek?)

3. I fell asleep at a stop light today. The lady behind me honked when the light turned green and it woke me up.

4. I have a astigmatism. Just saying the word makes me sound old. (All eye words like cataract and astigmatism sound like they are for old people.) I got contact lenses because Heaven knows I don't have the face for glasses. The contacts are a nightmare. (This really should be it's own post. I am so afraid of eye stuff. It takes me 10 minutes to get them in and out and I still can't see!)



5. Sam had knee surgery a few weeks ago. People asked me if he got injured and the answer is no. We are now officially having surgeries to repair bad joints. He goes to the gym, not to get in shape, but to get his mobility back. We are ancient.



6. I took Luke to Nordstrom to get some clothes for his upcoming baptism. He looked so dang old in the blazer in the dressing room. I started picturing him leaving on his mission until he hid in the rounders and I remembered he is still seven.



7. Sammie is watching big kid shows every chance she gets. Her favorite is Big Time Rush. She is crushing on the teenage actors. Kendall anyone? She also insists that I put her hair in sponge rollers for church and paint her nails and toenails. I don't even have time to do that for myself...diva.



8. Ryan just looks old. Thank goodness he still acts like a toddler. He is afraid of the Easter Bunny, the Jazz Bear, the Bee at the Bee's games, the Chic-fil-e cow and a stray cat that wanders our neighborhood. He is also not potty-trained and wears nothing but rain boots (the tackiest thing since light up shoes.)



9. Mitchell turned one today! I can't stand it. We have a very unhealthy relationship. There is a reason we call that kid Buster. I don't want him to ever grow up. I take baths with him (I know!) and love on him constantly. I still remember seeing him for the first time--the doctor held up this tiny screaming baby with tons of black hair. Then she immediately handed him through the window to the NICU (He was six weeks early.) I was so relieved to hear him crying and see all that cute hair on that tiny baby. I will never have another baby and while that makes me very happy, it also makes me feel old.



10. Sam and I have given up on all the hip shows on tv. I can't even tell you who is on American Idol or even DWTS (the original show for old people!) Our favorite right now is Swamp People on the History channel. I wish I could say it was the least bit educational or had any redeeming value at all but it doesn't. It is just a bunch of rednecks who live in the bayou and hunt gators. Check it out!



Add to all this that I am tooling around in a minivan with four kids. AND I just got an email reminding me of my 10 year law school reunion (10 years since I graduated from law school!!) I am this close to cutting my hair into a helmet, and buying a pair of sensible shoes.

Mutten Dressed as Lamb

I bought my first pair of skinny jeans tonight. They are not in a "skinny" size, though I do think Gap and Old Navy are vanity sizing these days. My friend Jaime was wearing skinny jeans when she came to visit this summer from NYC and she looked so cute in her pair, I wanted to give them a try. While she was here, Jaime also introduced me to Strike Gold, a miracle product. Check it out! I'm a big-time follower so basically, I had to go get me a pair.

When the 16-year-old boy opened my dressing room, he said, "here you go ma'am." Ma'am? It was then that I wondered if I should really be stuffing my trash into skinny jeans. I'm 32. Am I too old? Do I just need to resign myself to a nice pair of bootcut with tummy control?

While we are on the subject of being too old for certain things--What is your take on hair? Is there an age when women should cut their hair? We all know how bad long hair can be on an older woman:

I wouldn't want to go any longer than this:

But is there a magic age when women should move into a graceful bob?

And then it's only a matter of time before we will all end up like this?

Sad to think about.

I digress. Back to the jeans. What do you think?

Oh, and is Luke too old for velcro shoes? Be honest.
Is it time I taught him to tie shoelaces? I did manage to talk him out of the ones that light up!