Guys Who Need a Swift Kick in the Face

This list is just the beginning. Who am I missing?

Part 2--Disneyland

Day 1--Sunday

We pulled into Anaheim in the late afternoon and Sam was just itching to get over to the park. We got our shiz together, packed the two strollers (the double and the single) and headed over. The double was for the kids and the single was for all of our stuff.



Coincidentally, it was Goth day in the park. When we first arrived, I actually thought "there are a lot of scary people here...Disneyland has really gone downhill." I was relieved to hear it was Goth Day and that trench coats and combat boots are not the new thing. But seriously, whose brilliant idea was it to make Mothers Day Goth day?



We rode a few rides--Dumbo is the favorite for the little guys:



Then the crowds and the cold (it was probably in the low 60s) started to get to me and we had to get out of there. The kids and I went to bed in the hotel and Sam went back over to watch "the World of Color" show and shut the park down.

Day 2--The Magical Day according to Sam

When did I get four kids--sheesh!



I actually got comments every day on this trip about having so many kids. I got "Are they all yours?" and "You guys are really brave!" and one "God bless you" as we were getting off the elevator with all of our stuff. When did four become the new eight?

Fantasyland is my favorite. I love the teacups:



and the storybook boats:



And Winnie the Pooh. This is why I had four kids (so everyone has a buddy on the rides at Disneyland):



I just love this photo of the boys:



Sam and his mini-me:



Monday evening we took the kids to a character dinner at Goofy's kitchen:



It was a total nightmare. Sam and I just took turns going from our table to the buffet and bringing food back to the kids. The characters kept skipping our area of the restaurant. Buster melted down and Sam took him out to rock him to sleep. I had to open a can on the manager just to get some D-list characters like the Fairy Godmother, Chip and Dale and Captain Hook over to our table so we could leave.



In the end, it was worth it because Luke got to have a light saber/sword duel with Captain Hook and he was thrilled. On the way out, Luke pointed out that the Star Wars theme was playing and he had the biggest grin on his face. I figure it isn't that much longer that Disneyland will hold that kind of magic for him.

Day 3--soldiering on

We started the day in California Adventure and did a bunch of rides. Our family favorite is Midway Mania.




This is my new facebook profile picture...tons of flash= no wrinkles or freckles!



Sam made a crucial discovery this day. There is a little shop right by the Winnie the Pooh ride that sells the BEST peanut butter cookies and triple chunk brownies. We hit these hard the rest of the trip. In fact, I ate so many of these babies our last day that I actually thought I was going to throw-up in the hotel room that night...classy.



Day 4--Our last Day

Sam bought Luke and Sammie lanyards and a few pins each and officially got them started on the pin trading. Heaven help us.

Later in the day, Luke's dreams came true again when he was selected to go onstage during a Jedi training and fight Darth Vader.



As the day drew to a close, Sam decided we needed to partake of every kind of high-calorie food in the park. I waited in line for close to 30 minutes for some corn dogs. I know! All the while, Sam was hunting down one of these:



oh yes he did...the infamous turkey leg. Aaargh!



I even tried a bite and it wasn't bad. We finished with ice-cream on Main Street.

We left the park at closing time and Sam was a little downtrodden on the way back to the hotel. He felt like he left a little in the park...didn't get all the magic he needed. The day we got home, I caught him online trying to book our next vacay to Disneyland. He needs professional help!

Good-bye Grandma Warner

Grandma with Ryan circa 2008

I am putting my Disneyland post on hold for the moment to say good-bye to my Grandma Warner. She passed away this morning.

About three weeks ago, I took lunch up to her house. It was no small feet to get my kids to three different friend's houses and pick up lunch and haul Buster but I am SO glad I did. I got to have a really nice lunch with her. That was the last time I saw her.

She was my last grandparent to go. I loved Grandma Warner because she always made me feel so good about myself. She thought I was the best dresser, and the best mom and are you ready for this--the best cook! Sam always laughed how she called me a "natural born cook." He was like "Are we talking about the same person?" Grandma also thought Sam was so good looking and told me again at lunch that she thought Sam was such a handsome guy!

My grandma was classy and kind and always interested in other people. She has been sick with diabetes for as long as I can remember but she never talked about it. She liked to hear about what my kids were doing and what was new with me.

My grandpa passed away a month ago and I don't think it is any coincidence that they died so close together. They always wanted to go together and I knew she wouldn't stick around very long without him. Theirs was an amazing love story and I'm so happy they are reunited.

I recently read a quote by Stephen Hawking where essentially he said that a belief in the afterlife or Heaven is only a fairytale for people who are scared of the dark. I could not disagree more. I have an absolute belief in Heaven and life beyond the grave. There is no doubt in my mind that my grandma returned to Heavenly Father and had a joyful reunion with my grandpa. I'm so thrilled that she is finally released from this body that has given her so much pain and suffering. I know that one day she will be resurrected and given her body back in its perfect form. I am so grateful to have the peace that this knowledge brings me.

Part 1 The Road Trip

We just returned from a trip to Disneyland and Newport beach. I have waaaay too many pictures to condense it all into one post. So I am going to break it into three parts--the road trip, Disneyland and the beach.

Part 1 The Road Trip

I like a good road trip. I have posted my tips for road tripping in the past. We are kind of trashy on the road.

We let the kids take their shirts off:



We make really lame jokes about the "T&A" rest stop:



We let the kids watch movies the whole way (Zombie Ryan):



and I drink Diet Coke like it is going out of style.

We always stop in St. George and let the kids play at the park for about an hour. Buster loves the swings:



Sam wore compression stockings under his shorts to keep his knee from swelling up on the road. He had absolutely no shame in wearing them into gas stations, restaurants and the hotel. Notice the sheen on these babies:


I bought my kids these little suitcases before we left at DownEast Home. They have other kids' names embroidered on them but my kids didn't care. I had considered buying these same ones at PBK for 119 bucks each before I found them at DownEast for 29 bucks each. For that deal, I can live with calling the kids "Oliver and Meredith."



At the hotel we let Buster pull every tissue out of the box because he had no other toys and we were desperate:



The highlight of the trip down was eating the best breakfast of my life on Mother's Day at the hotel. I know you will think I am exaggerating but the complimentary breakfast at the Courtyard Marriott South in Vegas is second to none. I am talking made to order omelets, fresh fruit, muffins, french toast, eggs, hot chocolate with cream...basically anything you can think of for breakfast...they have it. Here is my delicious omelet:



The breakfast was all I got for Mother's Day and I was a happy lady.



Stay tuned for Disneyland.

Happy Mother's Day Mom!

I wrote this post two years ago but I still feel exactly the same way.

"All women become like their mothers.
That is their tragedy.
No man does.
That is his."

- Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest


Each year that goes by, I feel like I'm turning more and more into my mother. If you know my mom, you would understand why I feel like I'm bragging when I say that. My mom is beautiful, sweet, smart and completely devoted to her family. I know I'm not as beautiful and certainly not as sweet as she is but I hope that I have inherited some of her mothering abilities.

So much of the time, I feel like the good-enough mom. I don't do crafts with my kids, I don't read Parenting magazine (I can't stand it!) and I never make food into funny shapes. I rarely get down on the floor and play with my kids, I haul them to the mall too much and buy them soft pretzels to keep them happy. I yell too much.

But you know what? My mom never made crafts with us either. She dragged us to the mall and she even yelled at us now and then. But she is the best mom in the world because I knew how much she loved me. She took me shopping by myself (I have no idea where my siblings were) and bought me Girbaud jeans because they were in style and I had to have them. She let me stay home from school even when she knew I wasn't sick because I didn't have my homework done. She stayed up late helping me to make the coolest Valentines box or the most scary pumpkin for the Halloween contest. She was always coming to school in her sweaty work-out clothes to bring me my lunch or my homework that I forgot. She took me with her and her friends to see concerts like Michael Bolton and Stevie Wonder!



Remember that scene in the Ya Ya Sisterhood, where the little girl chickens out and doesn't ride in the plane when all the other kids are doing it? Then later in the day, after they have come home, the little girl decides she just has to ride in the plane. Her mom drives her back to where the plane is. She has to beg and plead and pay the pilot to take her daughter back up again. I cry everytime I watch that part of the movie because it reminds me of my mom. She constantly did stuff like that for us.

The one thing I do everyday is tell my kids that I love them and kiss and hug and snuggle them. I'm lucky--because I have four kids who all love to snuggle with me. They know I love them and really, that is all I care about.



Happy Mother's Day Mom! You taught me what really matters when it comes to being a mom. You're the best and I hope your day is perfect!

Lazy Mom's Guide to the Universe

With Mother's Day fast approaching, (cough cough, Sam!) I would like to give a shout-out to the lazy mom's everywhere. If you aren't a lazy mom, let me give you some pointers to make life a little easier.

To begin with, forget about the earth! Disposable diapers are the only option. Nothing is worth washing poop out of diapers multiple times a day, especially when you have a three year old who should be potty trained.

While we are at it, don't even think about making your own baby food. Gerber does a dang good job.

Next, two words--Hot Lunch! Just teach your kids early that they are taking it every day. They will learn to love it or leave it!

Make sure your kids know that if they are eating something warm, it is a "real dinner." Luke used to complain that macaroni and cheese or grilled cheese sandwiches wasn't a "real dinner." If mom heats something up in the microwave, that is cooking!

Remember when you had your first baby and people told you to sleep when the baby sleeps? That is true regardless of how many other kids you have running around. When I had Buster last year, I still took naps when he napped and my other three could fend for themselves. Please don't call DCFS.

Getting "ready" every day is for the birds. If you don't have awesome plans for the evening, don't bother to put on make-up. In fact, just stay in your uni the whole day. That way when night comes, you are already ready for bed! The husband loves this one!

Laundry is on a desperate need basis. Only do a load if one of your kids has been out of underwear for several days or is wearing the same pair of uniform pants since Monday and it is Thursday.

Finally, institute a practice I like to call the "big dog rub-off." Lie down on the sofa and have a child rub each foot. Tell them they are in a contest to see who does the best job. Give them lotion and let them go to town. Make comments like "Sammie is winning"... or "Luke, that feels great!" to keep it competitive. At the end, make sure it is a tie and they have to compete again!

Now go put your feet up. That kitchen will get cleaned soon enough!

How I Know I'm Getting Old

1. I watched highlights of the Royal Wedding and shed tears.



2. I've started to love the I.N.C. department at Macy's (it is also my mother's favorite...what's next, Coldwater Creek?)

3. I fell asleep at a stop light today. The lady behind me honked when the light turned green and it woke me up.

4. I have a astigmatism. Just saying the word makes me sound old. (All eye words like cataract and astigmatism sound like they are for old people.) I got contact lenses because Heaven knows I don't have the face for glasses. The contacts are a nightmare. (This really should be it's own post. I am so afraid of eye stuff. It takes me 10 minutes to get them in and out and I still can't see!)



5. Sam had knee surgery a few weeks ago. People asked me if he got injured and the answer is no. We are now officially having surgeries to repair bad joints. He goes to the gym, not to get in shape, but to get his mobility back. We are ancient.



6. I took Luke to Nordstrom to get some clothes for his upcoming baptism. He looked so dang old in the blazer in the dressing room. I started picturing him leaving on his mission until he hid in the rounders and I remembered he is still seven.



7. Sammie is watching big kid shows every chance she gets. Her favorite is Big Time Rush. She is crushing on the teenage actors. Kendall anyone? She also insists that I put her hair in sponge rollers for church and paint her nails and toenails. I don't even have time to do that for myself...diva.



8. Ryan just looks old. Thank goodness he still acts like a toddler. He is afraid of the Easter Bunny, the Jazz Bear, the Bee at the Bee's games, the Chic-fil-e cow and a stray cat that wanders our neighborhood. He is also not potty-trained and wears nothing but rain boots (the tackiest thing since light up shoes.)



9. Mitchell turned one today! I can't stand it. We have a very unhealthy relationship. There is a reason we call that kid Buster. I don't want him to ever grow up. I take baths with him (I know!) and love on him constantly. I still remember seeing him for the first time--the doctor held up this tiny screaming baby with tons of black hair. Then she immediately handed him through the window to the NICU (He was six weeks early.) I was so relieved to hear him crying and see all that cute hair on that tiny baby. I will never have another baby and while that makes me very happy, it also makes me feel old.



10. Sam and I have given up on all the hip shows on tv. I can't even tell you who is on American Idol or even DWTS (the original show for old people!) Our favorite right now is Swamp People on the History channel. I wish I could say it was the least bit educational or had any redeeming value at all but it doesn't. It is just a bunch of rednecks who live in the bayou and hunt gators. Check it out!



Add to all this that I am tooling around in a minivan with four kids. AND I just got an email reminding me of my 10 year law school reunion (10 years since I graduated from law school!!) I am this close to cutting my hair into a helmet, and buying a pair of sensible shoes.