Sam Brought Home a Bird

Not a live one--he knows I would leave him if he ever did that. He went to Harmon's Friday night for a few groceries and came home with a 26 pound frozen turkey. However, the word "turkey" was never used. We simply referred to it as "the bird."


I first thought he was out of his mind. He assured me it was his bird and he was going to take care of it. He called his buddy Jason last night to get tips on how to prepare the bird. Jason is an avid outdoorsman/food network junkie/hunter extraordinaire. He is also a lawyer but that is beside the point. He gave Sam some mad tips on how to prepare and stuff the bird.

Sam set out to thaw the thing last night. He was supposed to be changing the water every 30 minutes but he never did:


He spent the next 12 hours teasing me about the neck and gizzards.

He came home early from church today (because he "is sick" and he needed to babysit his bird.)

He took these pictures on his phone of the bird stuffed with apples and oranges and rubbed down with oil and salt and pepper. Impressive:


I came home from church to the smells of Thanksgiving dinner. About 5 hours later, this bad boy came out of the oven:


The unglamourous refuse from the bird (most had already been dumped:)


The finished product (have I ever mentioned we ain't fancy?) Do you like the Crescent rolls on paper towels..classy:


Sam and I stand behind the bar to eat and the kids sit at the bar. Just how it is at our house. I prepared all the side dishes (from boxes and frozen bags!) Thanks Sam--I didn't think you had it in you but it was a darn good bird and I will be eating turkey sandwiches for weeks.

note-I can't believe I posted this after all of your posts with pictures of your beautiful Thanksgiving feasts. I know how trashy this whole operation was..but that's how we roll.

I have a Turkey and a Bun in the Oven

Except I don't have a turkey in the oven--we went out out to dinner. Yes--that was an announcement. I'm 12 weeks along...details to come.

What I Will Be Watching Tonight

It is a Warner tradition to watch this movie the night before Thanksgiving. It is a classic.


Who doesn't love John Candy (Uncle Buck anyone?) and Steve Martin?


"Those aren't pillows!"

I am grateful for really funny movies....and to the cop who pulled me over last night and didn't give me a ticket.

Happy Thanksgiving...gobble gobble.

What's Your Sin?

I'm guilty of most of the 7 deadly sins right now.

The first being Sloth. I haven't posted in over a week. Pure laziness coupled with nothing good to say. November is busy and boring at the same time. Let's get to Thanksgiving so we can chow down and start decorating for Christmas!

The second sin I'm guilty of lately is gluttony. I have a new addiction. It is the salmon salad at Cafe Rio.


I know what you're thinking--that's not on the menu. No my friends, but give it a try. Get the creamy tomatillo dressing and you will be in Heaven. I ate the whole thing tonight and the shell and now I have a major gut bomb. The scary thing is I think we are eating there again tomorrow night with friends before New Moon. By the way, if you want to read a very funny critique of New Moon, go here. Christie is one of those bloggers who makes me laugh every single time she posts.

The third (and worst) sin of which I am guilty is envy. I have it bad. My friend Mandee just had her cabinets re-done by Telisa. Mandee will probably be mad at me for posting this picture because the kitchen isn't done yet--they are still doing a back splash, etc but I had to share--Isn't her kitchen lovely? I'm so jealous. And yes, her whole house is this cute.


Fourth, I have so much hate in my heart for everyone who is trying to eat at In-n-Out Burger this week. You are killing me people. I can barely get out of my drive-way before I hit major traffic. We are talking horrendous, can't even go near 12300 south, horrible traffic--cops are everywhere directing cars. It is crazy. For the love people--wait a week or a month. I want a burger too, really bad. But I can't take this. Artic Circle ain't a bad second.


Finally, I'm guilty of greed and pride. I pray constantly to have Heavenly Father take away my pride. I'm not joking on this one. I love nice things. So much. I love cute clothes. I just bought myself this jacket at the Loft. I'm adding it to my Christmas list and then crossing it off myself. Clever right? I have a Friends and Family pass at the Loft good through Sunday I can email out if anyone needs it.


So what sins are you guilty of lately?

Dear Payless Shoes,

You've done right by me. Do you make the nicest shoes on the market? No. Do you have the best service? Heck no. But you know what? I kind of like the no frills, do-it-yourself, climb the racks to get the shoes on top, shop you're running. You know who you are and you're not trying to be what you're not.

The fact that I think you make the cutest flats for girls is just a bonus:

I buy all of my boys' dress shoes from you:

I buy cute flat sandals for myself:



I even buy my boots to wear over skinny jeans because I don't want to pay a lot when I'm not even sure I should be stuffing my trash into skinny jeans boots from you:



Thank you for having super cheap saddle shoes for Sammie's Halloween costume for next year even if your salesgirl has no idea what saddle shoes are:

Thank you for making shoes for fat toddler feet:

Finally, thank you for letting my kids completely destroy your store and accepting coupons on top of Bogo. You're good people Payless.

I Have Something to Live For

This baby is going up less than a mile from my home:

Heaven help me. When I expressed some concerns about this den of iniquity being so tempting to me on a daily basis, my sister Ashley wisely said, "You will not eat more burgers, but when you eat a burger, you will eat a better burger." I hope she's right. I still think I'll eat more burgers...and fries...and shakes...and burgers.

My Little Sister is 30 Today

Happy Birthday Ashley! Here are 30 things about Ashley. If you are really desperate and you want to read 29 more, you can go here and read what I wrote last year.

1. She purrs...like a cat. I guess it is more a contented sigh but she does it a lot.

2. She is messy. I know that is like the pot calling the kettle black but I'm just saying...

3. She is a fun mom and takes her boys to do fun things regularly.

4. She is also the fun aunt who plays games with my kids, builds forts and teaches them potty humor.

5. She loves pizza more than just about any other food on the planet.

6. she doesn't like to spend money on herself but is very generous with others.

7. Growing up, her bedroom was peach and blue with a duck theme.

8. Ashley and I played a ton of board games growing up--everything from Monopoly to Sorry and Clue to Mall Madness and Guess Who.

9. We also watched a lot of tv--Golden Girls, Three's Company, Growing Pains, Facts of Life, Brady Bunch, Mr. Belvedere, and all the game shows.

10. Ashley even dressed up as Mr. Belvedere for Halloween in college complete with a nasty cardigan and a diary.


11. After that, she swore she would only wear costumes she felt cute in.

12. She has two boys and has decided to only have girls from here on out. I really hope she has a girl next.

13. Speaking of her boys, they are adorable red heads who are 16 months apart and she likes to dress them alike.

14. Yet she gets offended when people think they are twins.

15. She loves Oreos as much as I do.

16. She loves the show "The Biggest Loser."

17. She also loves "Glee" because of the cheerleading coach.

18.She is very creative and enjoys making things. She just made this garland:

19. She and her husband like making Halloween costumes too.

20. She is very smart, especially at math. When she was in Jr. High, she tutored college guys in algebra, trig and calculus.

21. She is a retired lawyer and loves being on inactive status because it prohibits her from giving legal advice. I think you have to be a lawyer to appreciate this one.

22. She is a die-hard diet coke drinker and has one for breakfast each morning.

23. She once calculated that for what she spends on coke each year, she could sponsor 120 cleft palette operations. She feels like a monster for choosing a cold one over funding those operations. So she sponsors two kids a year to get the operation. She is a good person.

24. She hates broccoli--vile weed!

25. She has very specific opinions about everything from baby showers to phone etiquette.

26. She has only gotten stitches once in her life. When she was about four, she came into our room naked from the bath and shook her behind at me. I kicked her in the bum and she flew into our dresser and cut open her eyebrow. She got stitches and a new Barbie McDonald's that I wasn't allowed to play with. That lasted about a day and then she had no one to play it with and so she let me play with her.

27. She is always cold. Always.

28. She is good about taking a lot of teasing. She has never, never called my house without my husband picking up the phone and saying in a deep voice "Hey, Hey Hey." It's short for "hey, hey, hey, big Ash comin' my way."

29. She loves to sleep more than anyone I know and can sleep until an obscene hour if she is allowed.

30. She is the best sister in the world and I'm so lucky to have her. Check out her blog. I only link to it about every other post because it is so great.

Happy Birthday Ashley. 30 is the new...well it's still 30 but it ain't so bad.

Dear Santa, I Want It All

The minute Halloween is over, Christmas shopping begins. I'm already stressing because my kids have not nailed down what they want from Santa. As for me, I'm making it easy on Santa (and anyone else who feels so inclined) this year. I'm not really this greedy--I just want to make sure there are a lot of options. Is there anything worse than going to Bed Bath and Beyond for some one's gift registry and seeing only 10 things and they are all $75-$150?

That's not me. I want you to have options...and I have a birthday in March and Mothers Day, etc, etc. The list is a work in progress. Let's begin.

1. A new stainless steel kitchen garbage can. My old plastic white one is disgusting. I like this one from Costco--it is touch less:


2. Clinique lip gloss in "air kiss"


3. Tall boots to wear with skinny jeans. I bought these and the heel wasn't quite high enough. I'm verrrrry picky. Maybe it is best if I pick these out myself.


4. Car wash coupons to Platinum. I've got to see my boyfriend and who wants to wash your car when it's cold outside?


5. A small camera for my purse. Sam was kind enough to buy me a big daddy nice camera last year which I love. But I need a small one I can throw in my bag and whip out especially for inconspicuous photos for the blog. Part of the gift is not having to pick it out myself. I hate learning about technology:

6. High thread count king sized sheets for my bed. Preferably in tan or off white.

7. Gift cards to any of the following; Impact Fitness, Ann Taylor Loft (not Ann Taylor), Nordstrom, Taipan imports, Rod Works, Sweet Briar Hollow, Basket Loft


8. Gift cards for these food places. I would not use these for date night, but for when I want to pick up a good lunch without guilt: Hagerman's, Kneaders, Rumbi's, Zupas.


9. The true gift--gift certificate to Sanctuary Day spa for a massage. Pure heaven.


10. Cash. Just like my cute 90 year old grandpa says, "Always the right size, always the right color!"

I Couldn't Be More Proud

Remember when I posted about this little sweetheart? Well, she has really made me proud this time.

Yesterday, I got a call from our local grocery store telling my that Sammie won their Halloween coloring contest. I immediately felt bad for Luke, since Sammie won a couple months ago too. Luke has been asking me every day if Harmon's has called to tell me that he won.

They told me to bring Sammie to the store today to get her $5.00 gift certificate and photo taken. When I arrived at the courtesy desk, the lady said, "I just have to tell you, she won because of the booger coming out of Bob's nose. We all just loved that!" Bob and Randy are the owners of the store and they are the ones pictured in the cartoon.

Look closely at her picture. Yes, she had drawn a booger and colored it green. When she did it, I scolded her and told her she wouldn't win. She was insistent that we turn it in anyway. I thought maybe they hadn't noticed when they picked the winner. Nope, they noticed alright and they loved it. What do I know?

So my little delicate girl all dressed in pink, straight from her ballet class got her photo taken holding her picture of Bob with a bugger in his nose. Nice.