Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Bachlorette in Thailand

Sorry for the delay in posting. It is summer and my kids are in my grill full time.

I was really bored with last night's show. I don't know if the dates were just boring or the guys but I found myself fast forwarding a bit.

The beginning of the show was so lame with Ashley sitting down and having the staged conversation with the concierge pretending she was planning the dates. As if the producers don't plan every detail of those dates!

I'm glad they did the orphanage date. At least the show did something to give back. I was annoyed with Ashley though that she insisted on giving out an extra rose. She needs to trim the fat. There are way too many guys to keep track of.

Let's talk about the guys we have left:

Ames: I'm torn on him. One minute, he is cute and sweet and funny and the next, he is Quasimodo (thanks Laura!) Sam will hate me for saying this, but something about him reminds me of Sam except Sam's eyes aren't that far apart and Sam doesn't turn his fork over when he eats meat (drove me crazy!)

The caveman (Constantine and Ben) These two are so unattractive. Did you love Constantine's Adidas sandals and orange shorts? Yes, I know he thought he was going on a boat. I honestly can't tell these two apart and they are both ugly. Constantine "owns a restaurant" back in Georgia. Best case scenario: he has a Fazoli's franchise. Ben put that ugly elephant on the wall at the orphanage. I can't believe he got the rose. He said Ashley was "buzzing around him" like three times. These two need to go stat.

Add some beards and these two would be the Geico Cavemen:

Ryan (sunshine boy) I was wrong about him. I thought he was charming at first but turns out he is just plain annoying. His smile seems fake, he is bossy and I can totally see why the other guys can't stand him. The worst was how he pulled Ashley aside right before she gave out the rose just to say "I like you" or "I'm having a good time' or something else equally inane:

Blake: Even though I don't like Ryan, Blake shouldn't have pulled him aside to tell him no one liked him. I'm all for confrontation (ask Sam!) but you save that for when someone is truly out of line. Blake is a short-timer.

Meat head (aka the personal trainer from Florida) This guy doesn't even have a name in my book. He never ever talks. I'm glad we got that last clip of him doing push-ups with Ashley on his back or I would have assumed he never had any contact with her. He is always red-faced and flexing his guns. While I'm not against such things, you've got to talk too, pal.

Lucas: I think Lucas is cute but I am leary of any man who "fell out of love" with his first wife. Run Ashley!

The good guys:

J.P. Hello! These two have chemistry! I love them together. My sister Ashley thinks J.P. is totally hot and I don't. But I like him with Ashley. He is the front runner.

Mickie: He is a young Tom Hanks. I like Mickie. I hope she gets more time with him. I am always weary of the occupation--"chef"--could be microwaving stuff at the O.G.

William: I honestly forgot about him last night. He had no airtime and remains in the background. I still like him even though he made a total arse of himself at the roast.

Who am I forgetting? Sheesh. Too many guys.

I'm glad West went home. He was nice but boring.

Could you believe how many times Ashley brought up Bentley last night? She is obsessed. Rumor has it, Ashley begged the producers to bring him back to the show. So they called him up and offered him a free week in Thailand but he had to spend an hour with Ashley on tv. He was like "I've never been to Thailand...so I guess I'll do it...hope my hair looks good."

Can't wait to see that train wreck next week!


Laura B. said...

Love it. I agree...this week was a waste of my two hours.
I need JP to go far. Otherwise, this show is dead to me.

I still think Ames looks like Quasi and the caveman comment is RIGHT ON.
My thoughts are up...

Linda said...

Gotta share what we learned about stinky Bentley today. The very first show when they were introducing the guys - Bentley & "Cozette" were in this amazing house. . .turns out it wasn't even his. It belongs to his dad or father-in-law, and he & "Suzy" lived in the basement!! Bentley was acting like it was his.
Does anyone else think his ex, "Suzette" looks like Emily? Just throwing it out there.
I'm with Laura on JP - totally the one. (Unless Tom Hanks Jr. turns out to be cool) I was liking Ames more last night until - yes, Brooke, you nailed it - he ate "European style" (fork turned backwards - my kids know that's a no-no!)
BTW - I think the producers should be shot for airing all the garbage Bentley said (for ratings) knowing that Ashley would eventually hear all of it.
I'm embarrassed that I've had this much to say about a really lame season. . .yes, I'll keep watching!

Jill said...

Hilarious! "Constantine "owns a restaurant" back in Georgia. Best case scenario: he has a Fazoli's franchise."

Elizabeth said...

You are blogging gold Girlfriend!

"Chef could be microwaving stuff at the O.G"


"While I'm not against such things, you've got to talk too, pal."


Do you watch the twitter stream as the show is going to air? Chris Harrison(I'm guessing his name) tweets answers to q's about the show. I loved it when Jeff Probst did it for Survivor.

brooke said...

Elizabeth, I am way too uncool to understand twitter but that sounds really fun.

Ashley said...

Possibly your best post ever. I laughed all the way through it! Love the cavemen. And you are crazy for not thinking JP is hot. And yet you find Ames attractive. It's true--I have no idea what the Florida beefcake's name is. Funny. Perhaps worse is to be completely forgotten from your list like Ben (if that's his name?) the over-eager lawyer.

SewSara said...

i always skim first, before reading, and i wanted to see what you said about West ... cuz I was SO SAD to see him go! I mean, he might not have been the ONE but he's WAY better than long-haired ben or caveman!
ok - off to read the whole post now.

Stephanie said...

Love the Caveman pic! That is so spot-on! I have mixed feelings about so many guys on this show. I love the sparkle in JP's eyes sometimes but other times he seems too intense like he could become a jealous/controlling guy. Maybe it's the hair-cut. I can picture him in a wife-beater...but he has such a great smile!

I sat through the whole show hearing Ames bashing and I wanted to rescue him as if he was a stray kitten. Feel so bad for Quasi. He's a smart guy and I liked to hear how grounded and comfortable he was talking to Ashley. He wasn't falling all over himself like some of the other guys. He makes William look like a pre-teen. ;) I still like William, but he has so much growing up to do.

I liked the orphanage date--and I actually appreciated that guy's efforts and guts to paint an elephant on a wall! Those kids will like it better than a plain boring wall. I am such a perfectionist that I don't think I could handle attempting something that I might suck at. :) I feel like painting something randomly on a wall now.

SewSara said...

quasimodo! you nailed it there -- couldn't agree more. he's a total two face.

and the cavemen ... haha! again -- i totally agree.

i think JP and William and maybe Lucas are my faves right now. I really liked west!!

Ashley said...

Okay here's my faves in order:

1. JP
2. Mickey
3. Blake the dentist
4. The over-eager lawyer
5. Ames
6. The silent beefcake
7. Ryan P.
8. Lucas
9. The Winemaker
10. William
11. Constantine. He's the worst.

Kami Galbraith said...

i too was a little bored last night. the cavemen pic was hilarious! Thought the orphanage group date was way better than roast group date. Seriously who wants a roast??? can't wait to see how rude bentley is next week.

a side note: i heard Jake and Vienna are both going to be on Bachelor pad. now that will be good tv!!!:)

brooke said...

Kami, Michelle Money is going to be on too....it is going to be too ugly not to watch!

Josette said...

yes, it is way boring without bentley talkin smack and mask guy. oh well.
funny how ashley(your sister) ranked everyone. i think jp is cute too.
most of the guys are pretty lame...but so is ashley...works out great.

Charlotte said...

Michelle Money is going to be on bachelor pad? Huh. That's weird. Didn't she say on her bachelor season that she couldn't stand being away from her daughter?

Sam said...

I preferred it when you told me I looked like "an overweight Pacey from Dawson's Creek."

Ames? The best thing going for him may be his name, which speaks volumes.

The DeVito's said...

Quasimodo! I love it! I've been trying to think of which cartoon character he looked like and you nailed it. I, too, was bored last night - I even fell asleep. I was bugged she gave the extra rose - poor West to be the only guy to leave, but he was boring. I think JP is the front runner. William is the cutest even though he was a moron at the roast - but he's a cell phone salesman - dumb job!

Denise said...

1 - Ok, pretty cold about the caveman. I liked the elephant, but I'm a sucka. They do need haircuts, though.

2 - I'm so sick of Bently. The cold hard truth: Ash was swayed by the hot and dangerous factor. I'm sure she is over him now...except for the complex he has given her for the rest of her life.

3 - JP is my guy. He is just A-dorable. You can't deny chemistry like that, and if he is a decent human being, she should marry him right now.

4 - Ames did sway me, but can you imagine that your husband just ups flys off to BFE to go to clown school on a regular basis? It'll never work.

5 - You are dead on about Lucas. He should have gone home tonight.

6 - Sam is WAY hotter than what's his face. And, obviously more fun because I busted out laughing at midnight when he wrote about being and "overweight Pacey". Why did we not hang out more in law school? (And, yeah, I'm pretending that I was actually a law student with you guys...)

Em said...

Loved this guy break down.

I'm sayin this w/no reference to your Sam, but I read on a blog (that I'll never find again) that Ames looks like a Ken doll that slipped through quality control. Cracked.me.up! I liked him a lot on the date though.

To me, Constantine = Josh Groban. Not a good thing. Especially b/c he doesn't sing.

I like MIckey with his little glasses on. But I think JP's it.

Greg said...

Ryan is from my neck of the woods. Did I really hear him say that the reason the other guys don't like him is because he is "bringing it every day."???

No internet, no TV, no outside distractions. All day to focus on Ashley and how to "bring it". Good work Ryan!

Yes, must be hard to have your A-Game when you are wined and dined and flown around the world on this show. Very hard.

The other guys don't like him because he is annoying and because he is fake and because he actually says lame things like he is "bringing it every day."

Greg said...

PS--I too was laughing at Brooke's editorial comment about a chef meaning that he microwaving stuff at OG [Olive Garden?]. Good stuff!

LKC said...

I like Ames. He's kind and smart and interesting. What I don't like are his capped teeth. Don't get me wrong. I appreciate anyone who goes to any effort to improve their appearance. But he hasn't learned how to speak with them in his mouth yet. It's obnoxious.

My guess is that it's JP all the way, though. Well, at least until the show ends.

Seriously though, this bunch ain't much too look at after a season of Brad Womack. I'm sure that's part of Ashley's problem...