Monday, April 12, 2010

Prayer for the End of Pregnancy


This is not a prayer to end the pregnancy--I still have at least 6 weeks to go, but this is a prayer to help me survive the weeks to come.

Please let me not gain any more weight from this point on (who am I kidding?) Okay, just please don't let me weigh more than Sam.

Please bless me to find a comfortable sleep position that doesn't strain my back.

Please help me to not slit my wrists from wearing the same two outfits over and over and over and over...

Please Please Please bless that this house project will be completely done before Jr arrives.

Please forgive me for swearing at my kids all day every day.

Please forgive me for cursing my husband for putting back an empty container of cookies into the pantry. (You should never taunt a hungry pregnant woman.)

Please make it so there is no reason for me to pick up anything off the floor, or get up off the floor for any reason.

Please forgive me for sneaking home from church and napping the second two hours while the kids and husband gain spiritual guidance.

Forgive me for getting a pedicure and completely forgetting to shave my legs...when it hadn't just been a few days.

Bless me to drink more water and less diet coke.

Please, help me to find a name for this child.

Finally, bless me to develop the nesting instinct so I can find the will to dig out the baby clothes, breast pump, and crib bedding.

amen.

20 comments:

sheryl said...

At least you are not asking for much! :) I think Stan had the same prayer for himself each time I was almost due. The good part is that you are gaining a lot of empathy for your sisters who follow behind.

Melissa Walker said...

You can do it Brooke! I always feel this exact same way and then feel guilty because I know how blessed I am to be able to be pregnant. Soon enough you'll have a newborn and you'll wish you were pregnant again!

Amy M. said...

I love your prayer. So true and so funny.

Kimmie said...

hilarious...and i weighed more than braden everytime!

The Mostess said...

Ooh. That's quite the laundry list, Missy. I forgive you for all of your pregnancy sins, especially yelling at Sam about the empty cookie container. Is he taking lessons from Lance???

You can do it, you can do it, you can do it!

Well, you have to do it, so either way, you'll cross that finish line.

Jill said...

The picture you found is perfect for this post!

I always thought it was cruel that pregnancy is so exhausting and that physical movement and comfort are so limited. It seems like there should be some serious perks with pregnancy like extreme beauty, deep sleep, vigor for life, increased creativity...those sorts of things.

What kind of cookies were they?

Ashley said...

I always sail past Tyler at about 6 7 months. Of course he always chooses that time to diet. I finally feel good (not attractive mind you) and am dreading those final weeks. Mom told me your dr. told you to stop working out, is that true?

alexandra said...

Your prayer is my prayer. Esp on the name.

Denise said...

I LOVE that you are taking the last two hours off of church. I say, keep it up. That is 12 hours of a quiet house...enjoy!

Megan said...

Those two hours of church are the best time to nap. I got my best naps during those -- or all three! I think you'll be forgiven -- He knows what it does to your body. Pat yourself on the back that you're going to the first one. And be grateful that kids are so forgiving -- I'm sure mine will need therapy from the last couple of months of my pregnancy.

Em said...

Oh, the cursing. I think if I wasn't bringing Chuche's first child into the world he'd divorce me for the "cuss words" I drop every five minutes directed at him. Yesterday he volunteered for us to sub in Primary AND I had to teach in Relief Society. He DEFINITELY heard it on the way home. :)

I'm cheering you on though. You can do it, chica! You must, too, because if you can't, neither can I.

And I love your post about Sammie, and hope my little girl is girly, sweet, and sassy just like her.

Elizabeth said...

Amen Sista, take it from someone who was only willing to do the pregnancy thing twice 'cos I HATED HATED HATED (did you get that I didn't like it?)it all... You are brave and wonderful and deserve all the forgiveness in the world for yelling at Sam (its all his fault anyway) and saying naughty words to your kids.
Take good care of yourself.

The Gatherum Family said...

k i stalk your blog and don't comment but i am DYING at the hilarity of this post. i still have about 12 weeks left with my fourth pregnancy and i.am.dying. for real. i am already about 15 pounds away from outweighing my husband...nice. it has happened ALL four times and it sucks SO FREAKING bad, but when you start out at 140 lbs and are 5 ft. 8 in. and it's "NORMAL" to gain 30-40 lbs...well, there you have it. anyways, good luck. hang in there. i am holding onto the fact that when you deliver (IN JUST SIX SHORT WEEKS :) i will be where you are right now. i can do it, so can you!

adrian gatherum

Mandee said...

I just can't wait to see your baby! Six weeks is all you have left- you're almost done! We need to get together soon! Miss you!

Linde said...

Almost over (the pregnancy and your house). :) You can do it!

HAPPYHANERHOME said...

ditto, Ditto, DITTTTTOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

HAPPYHANERHOME said...

Oh and thank you for saving me from having to create my own blog post tonight since you said all I have to say tonight...amen. :) (I hope you don't mind I just sited your blog post for my own tonight.)

Anonymous said...

Sam actually enjoys church. That's what's so funny!

suzi said...

Brooke, I so feel your pain. I was eight days past due with our little Caroline. It's torture. You perfectly summed up my feelings during the last month. I pray you do not go over your due date. It's a weird thing here in Socal, people don't blink an eye when it comes to getting a boob job, but then when it comes to birthing a child they push for everything to be as natural as possible...my dr. wouldn't even consider induction until I was a week over. What?

brandy said...

Your little prayer is hilarious! I'm almost 6 months pregnant and this reminded me of what my life will be like in a few weeks. Thank goodness I can still bend over to pick things off the floor. But not for long though.
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and drink as much diet coke as you want!