Thursday, August 12, 2010

The Ugly Phase




It's official. Buster has entered the ugly phase. The next couple months ain't gonna be pretty. His hair is receding and patchy, he's fatter than ever and he is just generally unsightly. Please don't comment and tell me he isn't--we all know it's true and I'm okay with it.

My other three all went through it. Since Luke was my first baby, when he was in the trenches of it, I had no idea. I tried to look past it and I honestly believed he was still cute. I even had 3 month photos taken of him at JC Penney of all places. Sam calls them the "Jehovah's Witness pictures" because they look like the photos you see in the JW brochures. At any rate, they capture the ugly--the cradle cap, the chub, the receding hairline:




Even Sammie wasn't spared. She avoided the male pattern baldness that my boys went through but she still got extra chubby:



Ryan was the worst. Check out his terrible hair. Bald in front, full hair in back:


In a stroke of bad luck, my little brother Cam decided to move his wedding up and got married when Ryan was in the thick of the ugly phase. My mom decided to get a HUGE picture made of the entire family from the wedding so not only did we memorialize how fat I was at the time, I get to always remember Ryan in the ugly phase.

Here is one of the few decent photos of me and Sam yet we have the world's ugliest baby in it (notice the tuft of hair at the crown of his head):


Now Buster has joined them. I'm not worried. I know the only way out is through. He'll come out on the other side and be cuter than ever. Trust me. Look at Sammie at 7 months:


And Ryan:



And Luke:



So for now, we just bear down and ride out the storm.

24 comments:

Toria said...

you are hilarious! Real and honest as always. I have some doozies of my kids as well- they all went through the baby acne at around 6 weeks which was the worst because it was right about the time I was getting back to church/ public for the first time (and or blessing the baby). What are we gonna do when our kids hit the awkward jr high years when we can't openly talk and laugh about it?

Linda said...

They ARE cuddly at 3 months - I had Mitchell last night and I couldn't get enough of him! I guess as "grandma," my vision is skewed, but I think they all are adorable - yes, they do start out cuter and then get cuter again, but they are always cute!

Emskyrooney said...

Ah yes! The Ugly Phase! Here's my little guy in his Ugly Phase: He never got fat but boy did his hairline recede!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/emskyrooney/3151468057/in/set-72157606729417587/

And here he is just grown out of the Ugly Stage- thankfully!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/emskyrooney/3466587017/in/set-72157617346638439/

Megan said...

His dimples save him! Asa is in the same place -- the patchy hair! And his sticks up on top so he has a literal mowhawk -- albeit thinning mowhawk -- it's so sad. But he also has those excellent dimples that save him! I love it. They are still cute. You have to love the chubby legs and the kissable cheeks.

Jill said...

I appreciate the comedy involved in this post! The sketchy hair situation on babies is comical and often unsightly, but the rest of them is adorable still. There's nothing wrong with chub like that on a baby.

Liz said...

I still think they are seriously cute! My baby is in an ugly stage right now....runny nose, non-cuddly, loud, won't sleep, likes to pull on her hair, throws binkies across the room like a diva if it's not her favorite one. It all gets better.

Amy M. said...

Totally laughing over here. It's SO true. All my kids went through the ugly, patchy hair stage.
I also frequented JCPenney's for photos of Sam when he was a baby. Ick.I love that your Sam calls them Jehovah's Witness pictures.
Your post-ugly-stage/cute-again pictures are adorable.

gwen said...

I laughed out loud and made everyone in the family (cuz they're surrounding me...always...)wonder what was so funny. You are hilarious!

Jen (and her men) said...

Brooke. Seriously. Three words. Shave. His. Head. Just do it. Use the buzzers with the #1 guard. You won't regret it. No more old man fringe and within two weeks they are adorable. Trust me. I would know. Four boys, remember?? If you can't do it, come to me.... Celebrate the chubbs, it doesn't last long :( All too soon no more cankles.

alexandra said...

I am laughing out loud in spite of the fact that my baby is sleeping on my lap right now. You are so hilarious. I love the photos!

Ashley said...

Hilarious indeed. Maybe I am having a hard time seeing it now just because it's Mitchell and he's in the thick of it but I honestly still think he's cute--those cheeks and that smile!!! Granted he is less cute overall than he was when he was 6 pounds and he'll be even cuter in a couple months but he ain't the worst I've seen. Sammie was adorable in her ugly phase. So funny about the wedding picture. All I know about that is that Charlie had terrible hair and that is on my shoulders bc it could have been prevented.

The Mostess said...

Hahahaha. I love this post.

I won't argue with you for, well, obvious reasons. Bad hair is bad hair. We all see it.

However--you are lucky you won't be sweating it for much longer. You know the phase ends, and your babies turn into adorable little munchkins with acceptable hair, good skin, and even better outfits.

Until then!

Denise said...

I have to say that I don't remember seeing baldness on a baby in the front, other than that...you are insane!!! Those babies are adorable and the fat makes it that much better. I didn't get one with any fat to squish and squeeze this time around and I have missed it oh so much. So....go find some butter and have a blast with those rolls!

(And, the fact that you think you are fat in that picture just proves that you've got some kind of eating disorder. I'm diagnosing you with body dysmorphic disorder.)

Heather said...

I will agree with you on the wack-a-do hair, but other than that, still cute. I love a pudgy baby...

Alyse Burt said...

Sorry, he is still super cute! My kids are all baldies so I never had hair problems. But I know my sister shaved her baby girls head to avoid werid hair lines!

Linde said...

What a funny post! Love the pictures!! So fun to see each of the kids in that stage!

sarahw said...

This post is funny! I think your kids are some of the most adorable kids, so if they have to go through the growing/changing phase to become so cute, well then that's their cross to bear for a while.

Courtney was born with really short hair in front and long everywhere else. We have a while to get through this phase. watch out.

Noelle Perkins said...

Oh my, your post made my day. Hilarious. However...and don't be mad when I say this...but I think especially that first picture of Mitchell is darling. He's adorable! Sorry...

Natalie said...

you kill me brooke! landon has the same hairdo at the moment...every day i look at it and just want to shave it off! i HATE the dark hair in back. and what was it with the JC penny pics with all our firstborns?! i did it too and they are totally JW looking!!!

Elizabeth said...

All your babes are gorgeous ugly phase or not.

Jill T said...

Brooke, you're funny. However they're the cutest, ugly phase babies I can think of.

D-dawg said...

This is so funny but I cannot agree! I think he is the chubbiest cutest thing in the world. I have only met a few babies in my lifetime that were truly ugly. The hair is just baby hair. And, again, love the chub!!

Em said...

This is one of the craziest and best posts I've ever read on any blog. It takes a pure, honest mother's love to post about something like this! I laughed my head off--not at your children, of course, but a your writing. I love the chub. It is endearing and makes up for any baldness. I shall keep this post in mind when my baby hits the ugly phase, "the only way out is through." Love it.

Janet Dillon Robinson said...

Freaking hilarious, i love it.