Friday, April 20, 2012

If You Just Can't Get Enough of Me Here

Go to Ashley's blog to see what she and I did last weekend   I have had so many follow-up thoughts to my imperfection post.  I may need to do another post.  Really, I could talk all day about divorce..what a fun topic!  Thank you for the kind comments, emails, facebook messages and calls.  I think the comments I got on this last post were my best heartfelt and meaningful.  I love blogging about "the silly" and I will continue to do that because it keeps me sane.  But I think I love blogging about real life/trials/happiness more. Believe it or not, those posts are the easiest for me to write because I write from my heart.  The words just pour out and I think those posts are powerful because they carry the weight of truth and authenticity...or maybe you all are just nosy about my divorce...either way, my divorce posts seem to be popular.

I guess I want to say that I know I've got it pretty good.  Even my divorce is good.  My "ex" (I hate that word) is a great guy.  He shows up, he pays, he takes my kids on vacations and helps with homework and coaches soccer.  He drives me to the airport and puts new tires on my car when I'm out of town.  He fixes things at my house while I'm gone.  I am lucky.  It sounds silly but I thank Heavenly Father every night for a good divorce and for Sam.

That said, Divorce is still hard.  Worrying about making ends meet is hard.  Sleeping in a big bed alone is hard.  Dating with kids is hard.   Traveling alone is hard.  Seeing my sister with her cute husband is hard.  Wondering if I will ever get remarried is hard.  Going to the temple alone is hard.  Mowing the lawn is going to be hard.

Me, alone with my boys at still coming

But there are some things that are easier.  I get nights off all to myself.  I get Saturdays off.  I get to go out to nice restaurants and have someone else pay.  I get nice compliments from men. I get to do new things that I haven't been able to do before.  I get to spend more one on one time with each kid when Sam takes the other ones. I get to manage my own money and not answer to anyone.  I get to leave the house a mess. I get to not cook.  I get more closet space and drawer space and all the covers.  I get to be the boss and I like being the boss. But sometimes I want to be the queen instead.

Now go check out my fun weekend at Ashley's where I was treated like a queen...massage, shamrock shake, shopping, fine dining (Hi Kaari!) and great conversation!

ps.  I have tried to write a dating post at least 10 times.  It makes me nervous to talk about dating on my blog.  I don't know why.  Maybe it feels too personal.  Maybe I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.  But I am still working on it.  Dating has been a wild ride.  It was a little too much too soon so I have been taking a break from dating the last month and probably will  for another couple months or so.  Hopefully, I wll get something together for you soon!


Natty said...

love, love, love... also, I agree that sleeping alone is hard, but it will get easier. In the meantime, having all the covers to yourself is a little bit of Heaven, along with sleeping in middle of the bed!

Ashley said...

Argh my long great comment just got deleted!

I love the line about being the boss but wanting to be the queen. Someone needs to make that into a country song stat!

This was a great post--we love the Big D posts because (1) we care about you, (2) we are nosy, and (3) it could be any of us.

I loved the part about the benefits of your situation, and about Sam being such a good ex. You deserve credit for being a fantastic ex too. Your kids are so lucky for that.

In closing, that Nordstrom Rack pic of me is awful. I've lost 5 pounds since you were here, proud to say. Now post again soon so that pic isn't the first thing everyone sees!

Denise said...

I know it must suck, but you are really making the big D sound pretty appealing here. :0)

btw - I have to mow the lawn and I'm not divorced ;0(

alexandra said...

I think it is great that you are able to see the blessings in there with the trials. The fact that you and Sam are so good to each other says so much about both of you.

That next man waiting in the wings is a really lucky guy.

As much as I want to read about your dating life, I think you are wise not to blog publicly about it. It is like the false sense of security in the carrels--you speak openly but you never know who might be listening! I vote for a private blog, and you extend invites personally (and only to people you feel comfortable sharing that stuff with) so that no one even knows you are blogging about it.

Molly said...

You should check out these dating posts: Some of them are pretty entertaining (and terrifying)! The first one cracks me up. Glad you had fun out here with Ashley!

Linda said...

I totally agree with Alexandra - about dating blog posts. You don't want to offend any of the really decent guys you've dated, nor do you want to offend any prospective ones! If you've got to do it, do it privately!!!
I also have to say that you and Sam have handled the "big D" in a very classy way. You've NEVER argued or let the kids hear even a disagreement. I think that is why they are doing so well.
Way to look on the bright side of things!

Greg said...

You should definitely do a follow up to your imperfection post. It would really be interesting to read some more of your thoughts on the topic.

I think our own imperfections make us unique. And as much as we hate our own imperfections (perceived or actual), I think we'd often rather keep our own imperfections (and work to overcome them) than have to trade for someone else's.

A friend recently recommended that I read a biography about President David O. McKay. It's been a good read so far, but President McKay had a couple of interesting comments on the topic of perfection (or imperfection):

--"Perfect people would be awfully tiresome to live with; their stained-glass view of things would seem a constant sermon without intermission, a continuous moral snub of superiority to our self-respect."

The other quote is great too, President McKay is talking about the imperfections of the members of the church:

--"It's good for every dog to have a few fleas."

We will probably always have challenges to overcome in this life, but it's nice to think that we can still focus on the positive.

Em said...

I really like all of these comments and I really love this post. I agree that the serious posts are the ones that flow the most easily. Thank you for sharing with us!

If you do start a private dating blog, I hope I get an invite! But you are right for keeping it classy and private--ya never know who's reading.

And I'm with Ashley--send those potential lyrics on to Miranda Lambert. (She's technically the only country one I know, but she could do them justice. Or maybe Kelly Clarkson? Taylor Swift?)

The Mostess said...

I have a few country appropriate sayings. I should send them on and become a millionaire, too.

I love these posts. I'm so glad that you and Sam were able to have an amicable split. It really does help all involved when the parents are able to keep it classy.

Waiting somewhat impatiently for the link to the private dating blog. You know that baby is going to be a goldmine of tragic gems. I can't wait!!

The Mostess said...

Until you meet the hot and amazing next man of your dreams, of course. Don't want you to think you're being damned to a life of bad dates for our amusement.

Garrett and Shelly and baby Julia said...

Brooke you're right about the "real life" posts - they do feel sincere and they really are meaningful. I appreciate you for sharing your hard things and your growing moments because of how much I have learned in trying to see it through your eyes. You're a strong woman no doubt about that! And clever and funny so keep up on those "silly" posts, they're crowd stoppers :) It was SOOO good to see you and your BEAUTIFUL kids, let's do it again soon!

melissa walker said...

I love reading your posts--I felt like we were basically the same (i'm not as funny, clever, or cute) but being married on the same day, same place kind of linked us! I wish everyone could talk as honestly about what they're going through, because we all want to show our good sides. My husband is bishop now and he's gone all the time, I'm not always the good, supportive wife and yet people expect our whole family to be perfect. No one is perfect, and in reality we all know it, but we always see the surface. I love being able to see what's below the surface--you are awesome and strong and we all look up to you!