Monday, December 15, 2008

Tis The Season!

I love this time of year. I really do. But there are some things happening out there that just get to me. Here are a few.

This is not my house

Christmas Lights: Decorating the outside of your home with Christmas lights is an all-or-nothing proposition. Go hard or go home. I understand that some people have a fear of heights, cough,the husband,cough. I also understand that it is hard to get a ladder and get up on the roof. But for the love, if you live in a two-story home, please do not hang lights on the bottom half only. It is ghetto.

Sammie and Ryan with Stoned Santa

Santa at the Mall: I know I know--you get what you pay for and in this case, it was free so I shouldn't complain. But I think the Santa at Fashion Place Mall was stoned. I told my kids to run get on his lap. He didn't help them up--they climbed. Then I proceeded to snap photos. This Santa had one wandering eye but even his good eye wasn't looking at my camera. He never asked my kids what they wanted for Christmas or even said "ho ho ho." My friend Jill had a similar experience with a Santa at Southtowne Mall. They really must be scraping the bottom of the barrel for Santa's these days.

Mall Crowds: This is so cliche. But I am one who likes to roam the malls on a regular basis. I hate that now I am cumbered by the rush-holiday crowd. The post office is a zoo too. My cousin Liz knows all about how bad the post office is this time of year.

Mall Parking: I hate that I can't get a parking spot--even in my usual spot--the senior citizen parking. (Hey, I justify it because I know my 90 year old grandpa would let me have his spot if he saw me haul a double stroller out of the car along with 3 kids and numerous packages.) And I hate that you have to circle the lot like a shark, all the while keeping an eye on 3 other cars all looking to pounce on the same spot.

Walmart: I could have lumped all of the shopping together, but really Walmart deserves it's own category. Walmart is Thunderdome this time of year. The fact that a person got trampled on Black Friday at a Walmart in upstate NY proves my point. I was in the toy aisle the other day and someone drilled me in the back with their cart. The lines are ridiculous and yet, I continue to go back.

What am I missing? What are your pet peeves this time of year? Oh, and I promise to redeem myself for this post with a heartfelt post about things I love this time of year!


Tyler said...

While this post is obviously contrary to the Christmas spirit (another thing you should add to your list is negative, nit-picky posts about Christmas), you do make some good points.

That said, I'd like to suggest a few alternative views.

First, I actually appreciate the household that shows some restraint in Christmas decor. True, would look better if top and bottom matched. But an under-lit house tops an over-inflated santa in the yard 100% of the time.

Second, Santa's lazy eye is probably a result of the stroke he had because you took his parking spot and he had to walk from the out reaches through the cold just to have hundreds of whiny kids ask him for things they didn't need.

Third, why visit the mall when you can do all your shopping online? I have no sympathy for mallgoers during the Christmas season. It's a choice.

Fourth, see number two.

Fifth, I'm actually with you on number five. But if you're going to Walmart on Black Friday, you're part of the problem.

Ashley said...

That stoned Santa picture is hilarious! And Ryan is so cute! I am surprised that the Santa's are so unqualified. You'd think that with the recent unemployment figures you'd have highly skilled Broadway types all over that gig.

Terra said...

DRIVERS, DRIVERS, DRIVERS. Everyone is so distracted (more than usual) and I swear some people only drive 2 weeks a year (the 2 weeks before christmas) add to that all the freezing temps, ppl that can't drive in the snow, don't buy new tires and live in Colorado and you have a recipe for the perfect headache each time you get in your car in Dec.

No, I'm not bitter.

Wright Family said...

I tell my children only the bad kids need to sit on Santa's lap so there is no need for them to. I drag Matthew everywhere I go in December so I can park in handicapped paring. Every year the kids ask me what I want for Christmas, and every year I give them the same answer. Santa brings mommy CASH. It's all about survival when your kids are young.

Dave and Christine said...

I decided to boycott Walmart ages ago for the exact reason you have said. Walmart is too crowded, chaotic and cluttered. I say Walmart anytime of the year needs to go.

Tyler I am with you on the inflated christmas decor. I keep thinking the trend is going to end but the decor seems to be popping up in the best of yards. Ugh..........

Mandee said...

My best advice to anyone... quit Walmart. It's not worth it.

Linda said...

Hey, I've been to Walmart more this Dec. than ever in my life. (I'm not certain why that is.) But at our ghetto Walmart, it's been quite a pleasant experience. No lines, I've found what I needed - even a great Dell computer on the afternoon of black Friday. We were just there last night getting ice melter. And of course, your dad's goal is to be a Walmart greeter when he retires from being a Federal Judge. (seriously)

Liz said...

crap...I was just about to take my kids to the Fashion Place Santa because I really dislike the outfit the S.T. Santa wears.

BTW, Paul would make a great Wal-Mart greeter.

The Mostess said...

Free Santa=no complaints. Beggars can't be choosers!

I try to avoid Wal-Mart, but it's so flipping cheap that I can't stay away. I've been there 4 times in the last 7 days. I'm sure you've noticed this as well...but they seem to have taken a cue from Target, and made their seasonal stuff a ton cuter. Cute plates and napkins...adorable this year. Which is why I am shooting for *5* times in 7 days.

BTW--made your creamed corn the other night for a party, and it was GONE!! :)

Linda said...

one more comment - we need to complain to the mall managements about the santas. . .they really can do better than that!

Jill said...

So weird you had a bad Santa too. At least yours is wearing a red suit!

sheryl said...

I typically love this time of year but this year is one I want to forget already! Thank Heavens we have had 2 days of snow to help bring some Christmas spirit. I will post pictures tomorrow.
I may have to call you.

I love lights so much that I am grateful for anything people are willing to do. I may be white trash, but I still love the colored lights. Thus, we have big old fashioned the top roof. (thanks stan and ben) The wind has taken them down twice.

I think new subdivisions need to add to their CC&R's NO BLOW UPS! I have never ever seen such trash! It is as bad a crepe paper decorations at work.

There is nothing like a good santa but it was great as a kid knowing you found a fake!

Our mall has been empty. 1/2 St. George is out of work. It is a crazy year. So many people here are not even doing Christmas. Again, Thanks to those who put ANY lights up!

Wal-mart...don't get me started. There are few things I don't like and less that I hate in life. Wal-mart covers both for me. I hate going there, I hate the crowds there, and I hate the white trash mothers who take young children late at night and yell at them for crying! I think I go once a year just to remind myself how much I hate it.