With Mother's Day coming up, I've got motherhood on the brain.
Before I had kids I worked at the DA's office as a prosecutor. I saw issues in black and white. Right and wrong. I thought I knew everything. I came down hard on drug offenders, I was disgusted by sex offenders and I showed no mercy for juvenile defendants who came from bad homes. I was tough and ticked off a lot of the time.
When I gave birth to Luke, my world shifted. I slowly became a nicer, softer person. I lost the desire to go back to work. I started to see defendants that I had previously prosecuted through a mother's eyes. My heart ached for the moms of the juvenile defendants who sat quietly in the back of the courtroom. When I was working, I always thought the worst thing in the world would be to have a child victimized. While I still think that, (and I trust no one) I think it would be harder to be the mother of a child who victimized another person.
I can no longer watch datelines on bullying, hazing and other terrible practices because I now think of my own kids and how devastating that would be as a parent. In short, the world is much scarier when you think of your own kids out there in it.
I didn't mean to get all serious on this post, but I guess my point is that motherhood changes women, probably more so than fatherhood changes men. The way a mother feels about her child is universal; it is instant love. I think of the mothers in the Tsunami who had their children ripped from their arms and how powerless and desperate they must have felt. I often play out scenarious in my head. If I was attacked, would I fight, would I survive? I have no doubt in my mind that if I was protecting my children, I would fight to the death. That is a mother's love.
I love my kids. They drive me crazy but I am a different person, a better person because of them.