Friday, September 11, 2009

Criminals are Stupid and Target Owes Me a Solid



A few days ago, as I was leaving Target with my three kids, I saw a girl hustling out of the store pushing a grocery cart with a large Vizio flat screen tv in it. She was in a huge hurry and what caught my eye was that her pants were hanging down as she ran and I could see at least two inches of crack. It wasn't pretty.

As I got outside it dawned on me that she was ripping off the tv. A white truck was parked at the curb with two gnarly looking guys sitting in the cab. One nasty looking 40-something guy was waiting to help her heave it into the back of the truck. I immediately dug through my purse to find a pen and scrap paper to get the license plate. I was able to get it and I even wrote down a description of the truck with the make and model. As they tore out of there, I thought, "I can't believe what people think they are going to get away with."

I went back into the store and told the girl working in electronics what I just saw. She said, "I didn't sell a tv." And I replied, "Well, one just left your store." I gave her my information and the license plate number and left with my kids.

This is where things get embarrassing for me. I was contacted by a Sandy City police officer. I knew he was going to ask for a description of the girl. I told him she was Mexican, with long hair, early 20s, heavy, skanky looking, showing a lot of crack. That was my complete and extremely helpful description.

He next asked for a description of the guys outside. Once again, I tried not to use words like gnarly and "scary Larry" but I admitted to him I was so busy looking at the truck and getting the license plate I just noticed they were all hessian looking (A term of art in our family for trashy) but that I couldn't pick any of them out of a line-up.

A few days later, he did, in fact, come to my home and asked me to pick the female perpetrator out of a photo line-up.

The line-up looked something like this only with women:


I couldn't pick her face with certainty so I decided it would be better for the case to not pick any of them. (However, if he had brought me a photo line-up of each of their behinds instead of their faces, I probably could have picked the correct one.)


The target employee was able to correctly identify the girl so I don't think my inability to pick her out of the line-up was fatal to the case. Turns out she had done this exact same thing a few days earlier at a different store and got arrested for it. This whole experience just reminded me of something I already knew about criminals--they're stupid and most of the time, ugly.

19 comments:

shelby said...

Oh my gosh! I cant believe this. Way to go on being aware of what is going on around you. And the butt thing halirious!

Amy M. said...

Nice work Brooke!

leandparkermakes3 said...

What are these people thinking? Good for you to write the license plate # down. Thank goodness there are smart people like you in the world to catch the stupid criminals.

sheryl said...

Wow! I didn't know hessian looking people went anywhere but Walmart! LOL

Awesome story!

Liz said...

They should give you the TV! You so earned it.

The Mostess said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I heard about this at a baby shower this morning. Everyone here (you have a secret CA following, btw) asked what I thought and I was all "um, I was busy throwing a baby shower. Enjoy your quiche."

Now that I'm all caught up--hilarious.

Travelin'Oma said...

This cracked me up. ( I have a darling 5-year-old granddaughter, with four rosy cheeks usually on display for the world to admire.)

You're a genuine crime fighter. You could star in both segments of Law and Order!

Amy said...

Nice Work. Target SOO owes you!

Linde said...

Good for you!

Natalie said...

way to go brooke!!

Jill Tew said...

This post made me laugh. How do you always have these funny stories to recount?

Jill said...

Holy crap, you're a super hero!

Ashley said...

That sort of looks like Sam in the upper left corner of the line-up. I hope this case goes to trial. I would fly out to watch you testify. I think a jury will really get it if you describe her generous crack and all the hoochie-skeezy-hessian-ness. Sounds like proof beyond a reasonable doubt to me.

Ashley said...

P.S. Target will thank you by giving you a horrible time every time you try to return something--at least if you've already done your 2 for the year or whatever.

Eliza said...

WOW! You go girl! That was so brave and smart!!

Eliza said...

Oh, did Target give you a reward?

Heather said...

You are awesome Brooke! I'm usually so spacey at retail stores..."Wow...bright lights...lots of colors...is that chocolate over there?"

Marni said...

I am laughing so hard right now at your description!! That is so awesome. Job well done. I had to dial 911 the other night and that is a whole other story...not near as funny. Bri is out of town that is why I am surfing the blogs right now.:)

Lorzzz said...

Wow! What a story! That's what I like about you, Brooke. You are so quick on your feet! That was so smart of you to realize what was happenng and quickly get out paper and a pen! Seriously, you are awesome.