Thursday, May 6, 2010

Thoughts from the NICU

First, Mitchell is doing really well! He is finally off the feeding tube and nursing and taking bottles which is huge for a baby his age. He may get to come home this weekend which would be the best Mother's Day gift ever! Sorry for no picture on this post--I'll add one later when I'm not using the NICU computer.

Being in the NICU, life has slowed down a lot for me. There is a lot of sitting and cuddling and holding my baby, which has given me a lot of time to think. In some ways it has been a blessing, because I know when he goes home, I will have three loud, crazy kids all around us all the time and I have enjoyed the quiet time in the hospital with just the two of us. Here are some of my random thoughts about birth and everything that has happened since:

1. When you enter the hospital to give birth, you might as well check your dignity at the door. The sooner you give in to it, the better. You will have no privacy and at some point, you will not care anymore at all.

2. I think at least 50 people have seen my boobs in the NICU. Half that many have actually handled them. And I am fine with it.

3. After you have a baby, your emotions will be completely crazy for at least two weeks. Some days I am fine. The day I got discharged, I cried for 24 hours straight. I cried at Kneaders when I ordered our food. I cried at Harmon's when I saw a girl load my same carrier into her car, I cried (and screamed at Sam) for not brushing the kids teeth. Sam was very afraid.

4. Sometimes bad things turn out to be a blessing in disguise. I was so mad that I could no longer stay at the hospital to nurse Mitchell around the clock. The minute I sunk into my own bed, I knew it was the right decision. I needed to come home. The last two nights in my own bed have been glorious.

5. It's true that your other kids immediately look huge. Ryan looks obese to me and I've already talked to my mom about limiting his cookies and treats. Even his head was gigantic when I shampooed his hair. Poor kid is the same and yet he looks mongo to me.

6. It's a pretty safe bet that Mitchell is going to be my Buster (have you all watched Arrested Development?) Buster spent 11 months in the womb and even though he is an adult, his mother completely babies him. After this experience, I am going to be so overly protective of this baby--he's certain to be a Buster.

7. I'm pretty certain that Mitchell is the most beautiful baby in the whole hospital--maybe ever born. I'm assuming every mother feels the same way.

8. I have the best friends and neighbors on the planet. You really see how much people care about you when you go through something like this. I am blown away with the text messages, emails, phone calls, dinners, gift baskets, offers for babysitting, etc. I feel very loved. I've decided that the best gift ever when someone has a baby is to bring dinner. I am going to start doing this more for other people.

9. Talking to other mothers in the NICU makes me realize how minimal my situation is and how dire the circumstances could have been and how bad it is for other people. (Awesome run-on sentence.) Another mom in here had her baby girl at 24 weeks and has been coming for 7 weeks so far. She has months and months ahead of her. I have no problems.

10. I know that prayers are answered and I can honestly feel the power of everyone praying for us. It means so much to me. I also believe in Priesthood blessings. Sam showed up with a friend unexpectedly one evening when I was at the end of my rope. They gave him a Priesthood blessing. I know it is the reason that Mitchell has started eating. His progress really has been miraculous.

Hopefully, my next post will be that he is coming home!


Kimmie said...

i agree with everyone of those, especially the dinner statement. after being fed by my ward for literally 2 months straight while easton was in the hospital, it is what truly saved my sanity. and i know you'll understand me when i say it is not just food, but so much more than that!
so glad things are lookin' up!
can't wait to barge on over and meet him sometime.

pandy Warner said...


I've been keeping up with Mitchell's progress through your mom and I'm so happy he's doing so well. He is beautiful!!! No surprise. You win the prize for beautiful children.

I will be hoping that his arrival home will be your best Mother's Day gift.

Can't wait to munch on his furry little neck.

Alyse Burt said...

Hey Brooke! I haven't seen you since the Lifetime pool. My mom was just tellig me this morning that you had a baby in the NICU, I hope he gets to come home soon. He is super cute, love all that hair. I just read some of your blog, you're such a great writer. The Disneyland post was my favorite. Hope baby Mitchell get's home for Mothers Day!

shelby said...

I hope he gets to come home for Mothers day! I am so happy that he is doing better! It is amazing what having a baby does to you emotionally...and then to have a baby in the NICU is that much more! Good are amazing. And Mitchell is beautiful!

Corrine said...

I'm so glad he's doing so well and that you are hanging in there, too! I'm pretty sure you're right about him being the cutest baby in that hospital! What a doll! I can't get over all that dark hair. Would you believe I have 3 blond-haired, blue eyed girls...Anyway, I'm thinking about you guys & praying that things continue to go well. You are amazing!

Natalie said...

love the buster comment! and i'm so glad things are going well! here's to a mother's day with all your kids at home!!!

The Mostess said...

Hang in there! It would lovely if Baby M could make it home this weekend. Fingers crossed from the lovely shores of CA.

Linde said...

So glad it is going so well!! I hope he comes home this weekend too. That would be wonderful!!

1LDSmom said...

Loved this post. I'll drop by on Saturday with Mitchell gift. Hang in there, Brooke. You really are terrific.


Christie said...

Okay, number two on your list made me bust out laughing. So, so true. Sad. But oh, so true.

I can remember assaulting the poor orderlies who bring in food to check me and see how far along I was dilated. I'm practically screaming at these poor people to come look at my hoo-haw and they're running in terror for the door. Good times.

Glad he's doing so well!

Amy M. said...

Good post. # 5 about Ryan looking obese had my dy-ing of laughter.
I remember changing Ella's diaper after Max was born and thinking she had the world's biggest bum.
I'm so glad Buster is doing so well. It's amazing that he's eating like he is.

Anonymous said...

I am so happy that baby Mitchell is doing so good! I hope you get your Mothers Day present and get to bring him home. I'm thinking of you!

Lauri said...

Brooke-your comments about Sam giving his son a priesthood blessing really got me. What power! It makes me so happy that your husband was in tune with you and able to offer Mitchell such a beautiful gift. You are indeed blessed! I love you! xoxo

Elizabeth said...

Such excellent news about Baby Buster eating and you sleeping in your own bed. The icing on the cake will be Mitchell being at home for Mothers Day :-)
All your thoughts are spot on about having a baby and how you feel afterwards. Especially no 1 and 7!
When I had Bear I sort of volunteered (they asked and I said yes) to show a room full of med students how nurses instruct new mums how to breastfeed!!! What the ??? "Hello my name is Elizabeth and I show my boobs to anyone and I have no dignity".


Love love love you Brooke! So glad Mitchell (and he IS gorgeous!) is doing well. I'm amazed you can make me laugh in the midst of all this--and cry--I'm so pregnant and emotional...but I don't read anybody's blog as faithfully, and it's because of who you are. Your kids, your husband, your friends, and your readers, are so blessed by you! Can't wait to hear more about Buster! :)

Ashley said...

I have never seen arrested development but now I must because the Buster thing is cracking me up! In the womb for 11 months!?! Genius!

You are so right--the people who just say "I'm bringing dinner, which night?" are the best! I remember vowing to do that after I had Max and I need to be better.

How sad about that little baby born at 24 weeks--I am 26 weeks and can't even imagine having this baby!

Come home soon baby Mitchell!

alexandra said...

First, I loved #5. Hilarious.

Second, I know what you mean about how hanging out in a hospital can teach you how great you really have it. I ahd to stay for a few days with Will when he as 15 months old and had some minor procedures done (when he had his ng tube placed) and, as sad and worried as I was about Will's condition, I realized that his was no big deal compared to the baby next door who had a tumor in his liver and was fighting for his life. He was only 9 months old.

I am so happy for you that Mitchell is doing so well. I want to make my husband read in particular what you wrote about being crazy for two weeks after having a baby. I think he needs to hear it from a disinterested party.

GWACK said...

I'm a lurker but wanted to say congratulations on your new baby! Love the name Mitchell.

I think food being brought in is the best thing ever. I always feel bad for people who don't have ward members to do it for them. Not having to worry about food for your family is seriously the biggest blessing.

Hope you're DVRing Real Housewives NY. You probably don't really care about it now, but it has been awesome and is great to watch during those 1AM feedings!

sarahw said...

Hospital life is definitely an adjustment. Time goes by so so slowly at the hospital. The best mother's day present will be having your whole family at home. I'm praying for the little guy.

Your friends are THE BEST for bringing dinner. When there are other kids at home, it's such a relief to know that dinner is taken care of. I feel ashamed for not making it for more new moms.

Can't wait to see more pics of him soon.

Dave and Christine said...

I am so glad baby Mitchell is doing better. What a GREAT Mother's Day gift to have it him home. I am praying for you. He has to be the cutest little guy in the hospital, he is so adorable.

By the way, if he is your Buster I hope you start doing Mother Boy shows.

joslyn said...

congrat, so happy he is eating. it's good you got to go home to sleep. i slept at the hospital for 7 weeks. i was a freakin crazy lunatic by the end. i cried at EVERYTHING.

BTW is is so so cute.

Jen (and her men) said...

I'm glad things are going well. I hope he gets to come home soon! He's such a cutie!

nic said...

That is so great that he is eating now. How exciting. Nothing like your own bed it is the best. I have seen Arrested Development and Buster is the best. It is okay for you to spoil your last. Especially because he is so cute.

Em said...

Happy Mother's Day!

And thank you for the heads up on birth, loss of dignity, and no privacy (specifically No. 2)!

I hope you get your wish!

Heidi said...

First, Congrats on you cutie pie.
Second,I love Arrested Development. Glad you're in the club.
And third, one of my twins was in the NICU for one day (it was terrible, I can't even imagine it longer)anyway, I was delirious. So much so, that when at 3 am, I was in there "nursing" her, when one of the nurses said, "There's a lactation nurse in the hall should I ask HIM to come in." I said, "SURE, what the heck." Yeah. Motherhood is a huge sacrifice -
Keep up your great work. Mothering four is tough, but yours are so cute. I hope you can get a family pic soon!