Monday, May 24, 2010

Where Have All the Good Men Gone?

Is it just me or were there some serious dogs on the show tonight? I honestly think there were only a couple attractive men. I, for one, am rooting for Chris from Cape Cod. His deep voice did it for me and who doesn't love a man who loves his (dead) mother? He's my early favorite:

I know don't where to begin so I'll just jump in. There are so many guys and I'm going to forget their names (and I'm too lazy to look them up) so bear with me.

First, Craig with the Hair. You know who I'm talking about. He is totally going to be her Wes. He is charming, and mean, and probably has 3 girlfriends back home:

Next, the other Craig--One of the attorneys. This guy embarrasses me. He should have gone home tonight. I can't stand tattletales. Plus, he's totally not cute. Woof woof:

Speaking of dogs--the other attorney, Jay. I just plain feel bad for this guy. Someone should have told him to cut his mangy hair and lose the tie clip:

I kind of like the weatherman. Sue me:

Frank is WAAAAY too high energy for me. I could take that guy for about 2 minutes. I know it is in vogue to "chase your dreams" but when it involves leaving a well paying respectable job to write screenplays in your parents' basement. I'm no longer interested. Does that make me a bad person? Probably:

The "Entertainment wrestler." I can't figure out why the guys hate him so much. Maybe we aren't seeing everything. Yeah, he has a totally lame profession but I thought Craig with the Hair was way worse. The Rated R tee was a little much:

I was sooo embarrassed for the "outdoorsman." I actually said "Stop!" out loud when he did the fishing thing when he got out of the limo and I was watching the show alone.

Don't get me started on all the crap the guys made or gave Ali. The little yellow shoes--good grief! Super nerdy Kirk and the scrapbook--Ali must have been dying having to look at it.

I actually thought the guy who played the ukulele did a good job but he wasn't cute. Did he go home?

Finally, Shooter--oh my gosh. What was he thinking? I honestly thought "he's not going to go there" and then he did. He'll never live that down.

The best line of the night goes to the guy who got out of the limo and said to Ali "I'm so glad you're not Vienna." That was awesome.

This season is going to be sooo good. Fights, tears, someone has a girlfriend, someone goes to the hospital...I can't wait. What did you all think? I'm kind of missing Ed and Reid right now. Hopefully these new guys will surprise us.


Toria said...

I love that you re-capped for me. I just got on the computer to watch last nights episode (kids napping- yippee:).
can't wait- I may be back to pffer some post-editorial.

Jen (and her men) said...

I tried to watch it just for you - so I could make smart witty comments here. Alas, I just couldn't do it. That show is horrible. It was painful to watch. I do love your recaps though :)

Jill said...

I didn't watch any of it, but I still found this post highly entertaining.

Heather said...

I wish I could send you on my painful dates and you could just recap for me. It would be SOOO much easier for me. By the way, I have gone out with a guy that used to be a professional wrestler...went by the name Teancum Warrior. Yep. True story.

Sara said...

I'm predicting that Roberto (first impression rose) and Hunter (ukulele) will go far. I also thought Hunter was cuter in the show. That's not a very good pic of him. I kinda liked the weatherman, too.

and is it just me, or does Ali look better w/ shorter hair?

Em said...

Your recaps are so good I don't feel the need to watch the show. I read another recap somewhere else which had me racing over here to see if you'd posted. Talk about the power of the written word.

Call me biased, but I am totally rooting for the hot Latino. You'll have to keep me updated on how he does. :)

Sara said...

thanks for the comment. i read ashley's blog, too, and it was funny cuz when Ruby was born, our boy name was Charlie (we never find out the gender). she has great taste in names ;)

The Mostess said...

Didn't watch, but if these were the more attractive guys in the lot...ugh. These men are not attractive!!

I miss Reid, because he looks like Lancer. And Lancer is fly.

The Mostess said...

Wait! Post what Shooter said. I need to know now.

marta said...

oh, wasn't that just the greatest ever?! i kept thinking, isn't chris harrison so sick of saying the exact same thing to whoever is the bach?? really, he's so entertaining.

yes, i like the cape cod kid too. i even like frankie. i totally think mr. hair craig is dangerous and the dude with the weird voice (super romantic, cheesy type) is kinda creepy. and wrestler was just random! why are the men intimidated by him? i think roberto is a real catch, glad he got the rose. he's cute. i am so with you on that one other craig?? why did he get chosen to stay?!! i felt like you could see who ali liked and didn't like the minute they got out of the limo. and can we please talk about her dress falling down every second?!! geez.

and that 'outdoorsman' was just a whole different story. even dan couldn't believe he hadn't shaved. i, too, was shouting 'just stop! please stop.' poor kid. lots of the boys would be cute if they just had a little makeover/haircut session.

can't wait for more recaps.

Linde said...

I thought of you as I was watching this.

I am surpised you didn't mention her hair extensions and I didn't care much for the dress. It looked good, but when she walked it was so long that she looked like she was going to fall over from holding it up (that and she probably had on 4 inch heels.)

It was Hunter, the guy you couldn't remember his name and he did stay. I couldn't believe Shooter actually told that story either!
Nice recap!

Anonymous said...

Love your recap more than watching the show. I was just cringing the entire time. I couldn't stand the weatherman after he wouldn't let her get a word in edge wise. This is the show I love to hate. I always tell Adam I am not watching it and then he turns it on and I can't turn away from the train wreck. Can't wait to see your future updates. How's that cute baby?

LAURA said...

Great recap! The maine guy looked cute until he said she looked "wicked awesome", is that an east coast thing or something? I loved Roberto too. Ali didn't exude confidence to me, and her dress kept falling and her hair was a mess.


Why aren't any of them cute? That is unfortunate. I am with Jen. Thank you for watching for us. Your recaps are way better than the show.

Amy M. said...

Shooter's explanation was horrible and so unnecessary.
I don't mean to be rude, but is it just me or was Ali a little cuter during the Bachelor? If so, what is the difference besides longer hair?
I liked the Cape Cod guy too! What he said about his mother was sweet.

Kimmie said...

all i know about this show is what you post....all i have to say is that picture of her is so not attractive, and i think she is dang beautiful. what were they thinking? matching the looks of the men i guess.

Mandee said...

they are all so ugly. You should hear Aaron's new nickname for the show. I can't share it here.

Anyway, I like Roberto, and I actually like Frank. Definitely yes to Cape Cod Boy. We called the atty "Helmet" because seriously, look at his hair.

Hoping they bring in some new guys- but as I'm reading Reality Steve, I don't see anything like that in his spoilers.

And I hate to say it, but she looks fat. She needs to lay off the twinkies and booze.

Elizabeth said...

It goes without saying I have no idea who is who but your recap is hilarious anyway ;-)
Did you watch Survivor? I need to blog about that cos I still cant get over how badly that Russell guy carried on!!!