Belated Bachelor Pad

This show keeps surprising me with just how low it's going to go. Fantasy Suites on the Bachelor Pad? Kissing contests? I was talking to a friend I hadn't seen in awhile and she compared the skeaziness of this show to a show that used to be on tv a long time ago called Temptation Island. I was so grossed out after the show last night that I didn't feel like doing a post.

But today rolled around and I had some stuff to say. I am forcing myself to do this post in less than 10 minutes (because that's all the time I got) so here goes:

*I thought it was so funny last night that Wes was the one grossed out by the germs of the kissing contest. If that guy doesn't have an STD, there is no justice in the world.

*Speaking of Wes, wasn't it ironic that he was the one trying to break up the couples when he was just trying to save the Gia--the girl he was interested in. Didn't you love his hollow threats?

*How nasty was Elizabeth and Natalie in the kissing contest? They have no shame.

*Someone needs to tell Ashley that she gave up her self respect long ago by going on the show so she really has nothing to lose now.

*If Gia's boyfriend watches the show and her little soundbites about how Wes is the "Modern day Shakespeare only better and cuter" she is in big trouble.

*I have always hated girls like Natalie. She is a ho-bag and Dave deserves her.

*Peyton is darling and I was really disappointed to see that she took the fantasy suite with Jesse B. My sister tells me that doesn't mean they "did it." They could have just been hanging out. I doubt it.

* I missed the strategizing (spelling?) last night. It seemed to all happen at the last minute.

My time's up. I'm out.

The Outsiders vs the Cool Kids

After last week, I was prepared to come on here and tell you all that my blog is too good for this trashy show....After tonight, I changed my mind. The DRAMA people! I am hooked. I'm not going to guarantee I will recap every episode a la Bachelorette but I will do it when I have something to say.

Tell me you all watched and aside from the shower scene (where we just stared at the curtain and listened to all the gross noises) wasn't the show a tiny bit less trashy this week? Okay then, let's get down to business.

*I was thrilled to see the pie eating contest because I really thought all those skinny girls wouldn't want to wolf down an entire pie, even to win a rose. I was wrong. I have to hand it to Gia (my new favorite) she did it. Even Tenley came pretty close. Yet, I have no use for Tenley and her crying. She cried three times tonight.

*I wasn't surprised that Kiptyn and Weatherman were the best eaters for the men. Little guys always win eating contests--(Joey Chestnut anyone?)

*Poor Weatherman loved his date and felt like the Bachelor for a night. He actually thinks he has a chance with Gwen and he is going to get his heart broken.

*I never thought I would say this but I felt bad for Satan tonight. Gia should have given him the rose after she gave him her word. She got "Jillianed" by Wes. Did you all die laughing when they showed that preview of Wes playing that same tired song on his guitar to Gia--"Love, It Don't Come Easy." I can't believe even Gia got swayed by Wes' flattery.

*I like Gia. I liked her when she was on the Bachelor. I think she could win this thing. However, I don't think she has any right to be mad at Nikki for changing her vote about Kiptyn when she basically did the same thing to Craig.

*Elizabeth is the most annoying person on the show. I wish she would get voted off. Best line--"I'm a dumb smart girl." Yes, Elizabeth--yes you are. Kovacs is equally dumb for hooking up with her. He is thinking with his "anatomy" and not his brain.

*I was so happy to see Jessie go tonight. I can pretty much guarantee Dave won't come calling once he gets home.

*Wasn't it crazy how quickly Jesse (the guy) dumped Natalie. All it took was a tiny bit of attention from Gia. Gia was brilliant to do that trick with putting his name in the bowl over and over again.

*I just want Kiptyn and Tenley to hurry and get it on so we can eliminate them. I can't stand Tenley's cry baby stuff.

*I am definitely cheering for the outsiders but they may have problems now that Nikki is going to get sucked over to the other side.

*I know lavender is the hot color right now but Chris Harrison's polka dot tie/checkered shirt combo was BAD.

I'm totally hooked. Who is with me? Mom, I know you're in...

If you can't get enough Bachelor Pad commentary, I stumbled onto this article while looking for pictures to add to this post. Hilarious. We had the same title so I knew I would like it.

Bachelor Pad--Adios Juan and Michelle!

Was it just me or did those two hours just fly by? I have so much to say. Here we go.

*The husband is disgusted that I am actually watching the show. He will be mad at me every Monday night. I'm doing this for you people! not really. But I did feel so trashy watching the show. Good thing Chris Harrison is there to give the thing a tiny bit of credibility.

*Twister is bikinis? Heaven help us.

*What is the deal with Satan's pants? They are all too short and he looks like he is wearing ill-fitting pj bottoms with loafers--even on the nice date. He is still Satan in my book and I loved that Elizabeth called him out during twister. I didn't love how she caved and tried to do the "do you want to make out with me" thing to try to get the rose. She bugs big time.

*I feel bad for Elizabeth because she is so madly in love with Kovacs and he doesn't love her back. She's a mess. She is going to ruin both her and Kovacs' chance of winning. I want to buy her the book "He's just not that into you." Kovacs is the hottest guy on the show though. I always wanted Jillian to pick him.

*Along the same lines, the show ain't about love people. The contestants who actually want to find love might as well book their tickets home. It's about the money and it's a game. The best strategy is to lay low and let the drama unfold. The people getting the most attention will shoot themselves in the foot.

*Jesse and Natalie are perfect together because they are both sooo dumb. Remember when Jason Mesnick asked Natalie to tell him something about herself and she told him she liked bears. Classic. Those two are too busy getting busy and neither one will win.

*I loved that Juan went home tonight. I hated his half-hearted apology to Nikki. He is skeazy. However, I don't like Nikki either. She always looks ticked off.

*I also loved that Michelle went home tonight. She didn't go home because of the rumor that Tenley started (which is probably true.) She went home because she locked Tenley in the bathroom and threatened her and you don't threaten the darling of the house.

*I like Tenley but she was driving me crazy as each of the contestants came inside the house for the first time. She was so over-the-top screaming and clapping and hugging each one. We all know she wants Kiptyn. He knows it too.

*I can't look at Dave without thinking of the man-code. He is so buggy.

*Gia has the best chance of the women because all the men want to keep her around just to ogle her.

*I think Krissily is a man. I am baffled at how she was one of the final two on the Charlie season.

*I love the format of the show. I love the three on one dates--much more interesting than a one-on-one. I love the way contestants are eliminated.

Monday nights never let me down! What did you all think? I think my early favorite is Ashley.