Saturday, March 6, 2010

If You Don't Know Me By Now....

Then you will never, never, never know me....No you won't.

I am always astounded how the posts that I write late at night, on the spur of the moment i.e. tattoo Barbie, Shame on you Girls, etc, are the ones that get people the most fired up.

The thing about me is that I am a little more spice than sugar. I like a little controversy in my life. I like people who have opinions and I don't mind having different opinions than my friends and agreeing to disagree. I'm a lawyer. In my field, we argue (sometimes heatedly) different sides of an issue and then go to lunch and talk about the Bachelor (or whatever the latest celebrity gossip is.)

When it comes to blogging, I find that I feel the most fulfilled when I am being totally honest and when I feel like I'm connecting with my readers. I've tried to be diplomatic in what I say, but sometimes I get tired of censoring myself to please the masses. Sometimes I just want to say that home births are disgusting (I know it is not pc to say that!) or I want to say that I think some women who choose to give birth naturally feel morally superior to the rest of us and I think it's a joke. However, I usually try to say things more delicately than that.

I don't offend easily. For the most part, I believe that being offended is a choice. I try to choose to not be offended as much as possible, but I guess even I get offended at times as well. I have no problem if someone doesn't like what I wrote and says so in my comments. The only thing I don't like is when my blog becomes a forum for people to rant about an issue. I think everyone should be allowed one comment and then get off. Don't attack other commenters. And no one needs a rebuttal.

I remember a couple years ago, one of my favorite bloggers did a post about things that bugged her about Utah. One thing she mentioned was that everyone was layering tank tops over t-shirts. (See the photo of me above!) For a split second, I felt hurt. I was probably wearing that exact thing at the moment I read it. Then I kind of laughed at the silliness of it and realized that everyone can think and say what they want and I still love her blog.

The point of all this is that I think we need to all have a little thicker skin in the blogging world. I think it is too easy to attack each other in comments where we would never do that in real life. It's fine to disagree but let's do so with dignity.

I did love all the comments and the award for the best one goes to Jenn J. who reminded me of those horrible belly cast molds that some women do when pregnant--those truly are awful. But if anyone out there has done one and advocates them--feel free to make it known in the comments!

29 comments:

Ashley said...

I am tired of people choosing, even wanting to offended when no offense is intended.

I am tired of rude and ranting comments.

I sometimes wonder if people would get along at all if we all knew what people really think. People have a very hard time liking other people who see things differently. It's a downside of blogging. The more you reveal of your true opinions, the more enemies you will make. It's probably the main reason I am tempted to quit blogging. I too am tired of heavily censoring myself, but I don't have the energy to deal with The Offended.

1LDSmom said...

Your frankness is the very reason I read your blog. Keep it up girl...you totally crack me up!

Someone once said, "I'd rather be loathed for who I really am, than loved for who I pretend to be." I love that phrase. Keep being the real you! YOU ROCK!

lindsey said...

You're a class act. I LOVED your last post...and haven't even been back to read the comments because I KNOW that some of them are just going to piss me off. :)

Reximus said...

Correction Brookie, you WERE a lawyer.

Jill said...

Apparently I need to go back and read the rest of the comments from your last post.

I don't usually get offended by things I read on other people's blogs, but I have definitely felt attacked by commenters on mine a few times and had a hard time shaking it off.

Jen (and her men) said...

I just told my honey yesterday that you're not living if you have offended somebody. Not that I try to do it on purpose...most of the time. I get your humor, and love it! Thanks for being you :)

Aaron + Mandee said...

I love you Brookie. And I like the quote from LDS mom.

Don't worry about who you've offended- they're offended because they want to be. Look at my friend Tara- she home schools her kids and goes without an epidural, and she still loves you.

Toria said...

I loved that last post. I accidently left the page open in reader and my husband got on the computer with the home birth right in his face. Hilarious. Even more hilarious was going back to that post tonight and reading the comments (twice- once to myself and when i'd laugh out loud, I'd attemt to re-read to him without crying).
I think at least one of those anonymous comments had to be a joke.
I love that you put it all out there and I totally get and hear where you're coming from.
Kaari- surely you can't be referring to ALL headbands. There are some cute ones (like the ones my daughter wore). the tiny bow attached with karo syrup or a glue stick- not my thing. Neither is the giant waffle looking headband that reminds me of a mummy bandage.

alexandra said...

Ouch! This post really hurt my feelings.

Just kidding! It is so easy for people to write things in comments (particularly if they can remain anonymous, or if they are responding to an anonymous) that they would never say to someone's face. Its the whole psychology of the faceless internet. We are all suspectible.

I feel like I just misspelled a lot of words.

I don't think you have anything to apologize for re your last post. You are allowed to not see the point in doulas, for one ex, and you should not be bullied into blogland silence just because it hurts someone's feelings that you have a different view.

Kim said...

1LDSmom is right!!

Melissa Walker said...

Brooke--I love your blog just as it is and like you said, if people choose to be offended and post how offended they are, that's their choice. By the way, I think you should do a self-defense tutorial, like in our Laurel lesson all those years ago--"grip and rip"!

Anonymous said...

I couldn't have said it better myself!

Em said...

Here here! (or is it hear, hear?)

Great post! If all of us agreed on everything, it would be a very boring and unproductive world. Way to keep it real!

I'm with Ashley though--the first time some stranger got on my blog, misinterpreted the intent of my post and then made a rude comment about it, I had to question whether blogging was worth it...but I think it is, especially when reading blogs like yours.

Em said...

btw and unrelated to this post, your story about the black sharpie photo touch up was HILARIOUS. I wish I would have thought of that when I was in high school. It would have saved me much embarrassment.

Elizabeth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Elizabeth said...

OK I think I liked your last post too much. Sorry for the multiple comments.
I think people who are more spice than sugar are more interesting.

Denise said...

I think that your picture is the first time I have seen a tank over a t, and I might have to try it this summer.

Sam said...

Correction Reximus, she IS a lawyer, as you are a master of public administration.

And, to clarify, I was not responsible for any comments in the last post, anonymous or otherwise.

Raderstorf Family said...

What the??
The comments on that post were nuts. I thought Blogs were superficial updates and anticdotes of ones life, not a soap box for ones who disagree.

The Mostess said...

I will forgive you for quoting Simply Red because you preach the Gospel, Sister.

As the good ladies on The Bachelor say...I'm not here to make friends.

Toria--I really despise the ginorm gerber daisy headbands, and the bows affixed with sticky substances. However--I really don't like any bows, ribbons, or headbands until the girls have hair. Bald babies + hair accessories=weirdness. Ya feelin' me?

The DeVito's said...

Brooke - I just had to say that while watching the Oscars I sat and read through all your Favorite posts. Yours and Ashley's blogs are two of my favorite to read! Thanks for providing so great laughs.

And I agree - you can choose to be or not be offended - I don't agree with everything in your last post but I wasn't offended.

Linda said...

I should probably apologize for commenting more than once last post. I should have let the "call-out" roll off my back instead of dignifying it with another comment. I will limit myselt to one comment per post. Don't stop being the "Brookie" that you have been since the first hours of your life. (I could HEAR the nurses bringing the babies down the hall of the hospital- not a home birth-- and I could hear one baby screaming higher and louder than all the others put together. I was praying, "please don't let that be my baby" until they brought me this adorable little screaming girl with a ton of dark red hair that looked like fur! Yes, it was the BROOKIE!" Shoulda known she was going to be a lawyer!

Lauri said...

I am ALOT more spice than sugar myself...there is hardly any sugar in me at all...guess that is why I love you so much, we have that trait in common!! (hope you still like me even though I had three natural childbirths-I was weird and chose to do it that way-I know-I am strange, I can accept that and do I care...HECK NO!!!))

Anonymous said...

I apologize for my comments on the last post. I hate comment wars and did not intend to fuel the fire. Keep up the great blog.. I'll be missing your recap more than the Bachelor this week!

Cameron said...

I wasn't aware that you have a "one comment and done" rule. Sorry. I've always thought of blogs as a type of forum, especially if they are opened up to the public and not privatized. Personally, I thought the exchanges in the last post were productive, even if they were a bit abrasive.

Heather said...

Love you, love your blog. Love being attacked by your other readers. It's all good.

HAPPYHANERHOME said...

I do, I do, I looooooove you! Well, not in a sicko kind of way, but you know what I mean. Layered tanks over T's...hmmmmm...Well, they look cute on you, but until my pregnancy arms go away, I am sticking to sweaters, even when it is 105 here in hot Bako-land! Ha! On a sidenote, why do all your pictures reflect a perfectly vacuumed carpet (and why can I never remember how to spell vaccuum/vacuum/vvvaaaccccum?). If your carpet is that clean, we definitely differ in that respect. I'd like to just have me some polished concrete around here and sweep it all into a corner.

I get the lawyer thing, though I was definitely not as thick-skinned in that profession as I should have been on a few occasions...reminiscing about the day I closed my office door and cried because a judge told me to "stop pissing on opposing counsel's shoes." Not nice, but big girl lawyers don't cry. I'm glad I'm a mom now and can cry whenever I want, although now there is sometimes literally pee on my shoes. :(

Brooke said...

I love your blog because you are so honest, yet do it with humor! You make me laugh! I usually agree for you 100%....and wish I had the gift for writing that you and your sister have. I love both of your blogs and when I see a new post on my bloglines from you it makes me happy :o). Don't worry about rude comments, or people who like to stir controversy....keep doing exactly what you are doing!

You and Brooke remind me so much of myself and my four sisters....a strong love for food, dressing kids cute, pottery barn, etc! It's hard for me to post this a bit because I feel like a stalker, but through your blog I do feel like I know you a bit and you seem like such a fun mother, friend, and sister! If you ever come to AZ let me know!

Jenn J. said...

I got a good laugh reading all the comments from the last post, and then making my husband sit through my recaps of the comments on the last post. Pure entertainment.

Also, I couldn't be more flattered to be mentioned in an actual post. :) It's true though. Belly molds are gross.