Tuesday, February 16, 2010

What I Don't Want to Hear--Pregnacy Rant


Let me preface this with saying I know I am an overly-sensitive pregnant woman. I also know that I have the body type of a chicken and thus when I get pregnant, I put all of the weight on in the top half of my body. I also know that I carry the baby straight out in front and from the second I conceive, I look pregnant. By this point, I look like I'm ready to deliver. Okay, with that said, here is what happened at church on Sunday:

I walk into nursery to pick up my son. Another mom is hanging out in there. She immediately tells me about a "contagious looking rash" on my son's stomach. I inform her it is eczema and she continues to ride me about it. Finally, she changes the subject. I am already in a bad mood for being called out about my son's "rash."

She asks "When are you due?" For most pregnant women, this is an innocent question. But I hate getting asked this. Why? Because I always get the same surprised response. I say "June 8th" and then the other person usually looks shocked and surprised and says something stupid like "NO WAY!"

In this case, the girl said, "I'M SO SORRY!" She then counted on her hand "February, March, April, May, June! Five months away!" Instead of correcting her that you don't count the month you're in, and I'm due at the beginning of June and we are in the middle of February, I simply said, "I usually come early."

I left pissed. The correct response would have been for her to simply say "That's great!" or "Summer babies are the best" or "You look great!" Lie for heaven's sake! If I'm big enough (literally and figuratively) to own my weight and be honest about my due date, the least she could do is not act completely surprised and appalled at my size. Okay, I'm done. I'll probably delete this post tomorrow.

Sheesh.

36 comments:

Melissa Walker said...

This is why I am lucky and have planned c-sections, so I get to tell people a week earlier than I am really due. Surprisingly enough, that week makes a big difference!

Melissa Walker said...

I also want to add, if you are a woman, you should know better than to criticize another woman's child or her pregnancy bump. What planet is she from?
(and also--you look adorable. You carry in front which means you don't look pregnant anywhere else and your rear view is so much better than those gals who gain weigh all over and don't look pregnant. Not looking pregnant when you are a few months along isn't always a good thing!)

Natalie said...

i'm in the same boat, brooke! HATE the comments. and for the record, you look great! and the fact that I see you at the gym (looking fabulous) means you'll be back in your skinny jeans in no time, & that makes me want to kill myself. Ü

Lisa Cannon said...

You look so great! Your tummy is the only thing that has grown and that is exactly what is supposed to grow! My butt, thighs, face, calves and everything else grew. UGH! Don't let her or anyone else get to you!

Another thing that drives me CRAZY is when people tell me that I have my hands full, or something similar. People just need to butt out!!!

Em said...

I think you look absolutely adorable. I'd much rather look like you than like me right now. I just look absolutely thick around the waist and chest with no lovely baby bump to show for it. Much better to have a bump.

But the woman in question--some people are serious idiots. It's like a life calling. And why the he-- was she looking at your son's stomach, anyway? Tell her to keep her idiot eyes and hands off your son's belly--not that eczema (sp) is catching...

Linde said...

Don't pay attention to what some people say. You do look great!! I can't only imagine who it was. :)

Christie said...

I am the exact same way. When I'm five months along, I look like most people when they're ready to deliver. It was horrible. I got so tired of it. Sympathy for you, my friend.

Kimmie said...

Brookie...if I looked 1/8 as good as you do I'd be happy! You ALWAYS look perfect!

Super jealous you are prego!

p.s. I STILL have 20 Brooklyn pounds on me, and she's 19 months old!!!!

Liz said...

I just thought you looked so cute today! Ignore the stupid comments....I've got a student still telling me I'm going to have a baby!

Jill Tew said...

What? You go to the gym when you're pregnant? Crazy...:)

Brooke, you look great. When you're pregnant and when you're not. You're one of the lucky ones!

Ashley said...

If that girl's smart, she went home mortified. I can't believe someone would behave like that in this day and age. I have a friend who is a grandmother who says those kinds of things to me--but she's old so she gets a pass.

Jacqui said...

AMEN! I'm delivering next monday and I am SO tired of the ladies at church keeping a countdown for me. For heaven's sake!

Why was she lifting up your son's shirt to look at his "rash" anyway. Sketchy.

Jacqui said...

Maybe you should have told her it was the flesh eating bacteria, but the doctor said if you kept it covered it wasn't contagious. Too bad for her, she's now been exposed!

Jill said...

You look ridiculously cute! I can't imagine looking that great any time, let alone pregnant. I would chalk that woman's remarks up to cluelessness and verbal diarrhea. People say stupid things all the time without meaning to offend, so hopefully that is the case with her. You should take comfort in the fact that you look fabulous no matter what size!

Mr. Anonymous said...

I've got that same recurring rash. It's a bummer!

Kelly said...

Said ward girl probably blog stalks you and will be mortified upon reading.

Actually, some people never learn. And who calls someone out about their kid's rash? We call that no manners. Natalie got sent out of nursery for a rash once when I sent her to church in a new dress that hadn't been washed. I was mortified.

Elizabeth said...

The shite that people say to pregnant women... I had a conversation with an older male concerning "feeding" that I am still too embarrassed to tell anyone 13.5 years after the fact...

You look beautiful - don't let others ruin your last pregnancy.

sarahw said...

I'm so sorry. I CAN COMPLETELY SYMPATHIZE.

I was walking through the halls in church on Sunday, and me and another man(45 yr old) were passing. Not one other person was in the hall, so I think he thought he had to say something. Well he decided to look at my belly and say, "YOU'RE GETTIN' BIG." I NEVER want to hear the word BIG while pregnant. I wanted to kick him where it counts, but I just said, "Yep."

Jen (and her men) said...

Ooh, now it's "Mr" Anonymous...I always suspected sam...

And what's this about you going to the gym? Stop making us "phat" girls look bad!

And you look adorable in that picture. If you want us to feel sorry for you, maybe you'd better post something a little scarier...hee!hee!

Liz said...

oh...I have a good story from when I was prego with Emi, but I'll have to demonstrate it next Tuesday.

Dave and Christine said...

At the gym? You are amazing!! Also you look fabulous pregnant. I am sure that girl hasn't slept well since thinking of how idiotic she is.

Lauri said...

Brooke-you are a darling pregnant woman and I think you look GREAT and have looked GREAT through every pregnancy! Don't let those comments get to you!! I loved being pregnant and loved having a pregnant belly! It is supposed to be that way, for heaven's sake, there's an adorable baby growing in there!!! You're beautiful and I love you!!! Smile and enjoy every day!!! (that's what matters most anyway!)

Amy M. said...

Whatever, I think you look amazing.

Jessica said...

Honey you only think you are big because you are pregnant the same time as Corie and Taylie who together don't make a normal pregnant gal. When people asked me questions I didn't want to answer...I lied. It's not like they remember what you say the minute you walk away. Tell them you are having triplets and you are probably going to be on bedrest for the next 9 months so you'll be needing dinner and homemade oreos.

Toria said...

I'm laughing- not at you- but at nursery girl.
I laugh because for some reason- we ALL feel this way when we're pregnant, and most of us get the offending comments from other women who have HAD kids! I don't get it. A man says it- I try to brush it off, a old person or woman who's never been pregnant- same thing.
but can't we all help each other out?
the 5 month part is my favorite- what the?!?!

katie said...

Seriously, the first thing I thought when I clicked over to your blog was how cute you look! I mean it. And then I read the story about the lady at church. Dang lady! Just wait until she is pregnant and they you can say the same thing to her.

Vermont Madsens said...

Amen, sister. My friends just told me yesterday how good it was to see my pregnancy bump. Is that supposed to make me feel good? Why is it okay to say all kinds of things to pregnant women that would never be acceptable to a non prego counterpart? You look wonderful. Where, I beg did you get that shirt. It is so flattering!

Amanda K said...

Some women are idiots... don't they remember when they were prego? I'm just sayin'

and I have that same "rash."

oh, and be happy that you only carry in the front - I carry all over - so not only did I have a big belly, I had a big butt too. Nice.

Denise said...

Don't delete it. I got asked if I was sure that I was not having twins when I was 5 months along. Sometimes people just don't think. You look adorable.

I kind of get irritated lately because I have a bunch of people telling me how skinny I am. Why would that irritate me? Because these are people who knew me for about one month before I became pregnant with Grant and now that they are so shocked at how skinny I am (which is exactly my prepregnancy weight and by no means skinny) it only tells me that they thought I was a big huge ball of lard while I was pregnant.

I say you just eat a lot and enjoy being big since you have said this will be your last time. We women should get something fun out of having our bodies taken over.

Travelin'Oma said...

You look darling pregnant. There was a man in our ward (ward before your and my ward) that told women how sexy and feminine they looked pregnant. And he would glance down at your boobs as he said it. That was pretty weird, too. Once he said, "Delicious!" I was freaked out.

1LDSmom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
1LDSmom said...

Brooke, I carried my babies straight out front as well and dealt with the exact same comments for all five of them.

This will make you laugh...I was reading your post and my three year old said, "Mom, her stomach looks just like yours." I'M NOT PREGNANT

The Mostess said...

No shortage of lame ladies and/or comments. Welcome to Nursery!!

lindsey said...

Rude.

I had someone say to me 'You certainly are getting bigger, aren't you?' at church the other day.

I just choose to think that I was REALLY SMALL two months ago when I moved into the ward.

C'est-la-vie. I guess it'll be worth it in the end, but I've never had a baby before, so I can't say that for certain. ;)

alexandra said...

I get the exact same comments on occassion, too, but they are usually rounded out with the observation that short girls just get giant because the babies have no place to go. Oh, and the conversation where I have to convince the other person that I am not expecting multiples. People can be really stupid sometimes. But then I wonder if I have ever said dumb stuff that didn't really come out right (like I once commented to a mom that newborns are so funny, and she took it to mean that I thought her baby was funny looking, which I didn't mean . . . ) I bet that girl went home regretting her exchange wtih you.

But, all that said, you really do look very cute. It is only bc someone said stupid things to you that I am going to sympathize! :)

HAPPYHANERHOME said...

LOLOLOL! SOoooo sorry my friend. I just wanted to enjoy this "last" pregnancy, but I am with you and have had my share of pregnancy rants, including my latest regarding the ridiciulous heartburn I ALREADY have (hello, this is not supposed to happen until LATER.) I think you look absolutely TO DIE FOR!!! I would take that bod any day over my own cellulite ridden bloated big all over self!!! :) But we are mothers, and our bodies are doing whatever it is they need to do to provide for that. I did, however, purchase "Fit Mama" DVDs last week. I'll let you know if they help! ;)