Thursday, March 4, 2010

Maternity Mysteries

I am baffled by many things. But tonight, I'm going to focus on the things that baffle me pertaining to pregnancy, childbirth and child rearing. In no particular order:

1. Pregnancy bare belly shots (same goes for pregnant ladies in bikinis)--why not just wear a form-fitting shirt. Do we really need to see the bare skin and stretch marks:

2. Natural childbirth (by choice)--I have friends who are afraid of needles, etc. but I can not understand CHOOSING to endure that kind of pain for no good reason:

3. Doulas--what exactly is the point:

4. Home Births--I am horrified by home births. I have nothing nice to say about them and I can't even be diplomatic so I won't elaborate:

The picture pretty much says it all.

5. Homeschooling--I know really good people who homeschool. It is not for me. I am too selfish. The only thing that keeps me putting one foot in front of another and trudging through life is knowing that in roughly 6 years from now I will have all four children in school for 7 hours a day:

What baffles you?


Natalie said...

ditto to all of the above!

Jen (and her men) said...
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Kimmie said...

i love all of those...too funny!

my all time favorites:

* my water breaking! im totally guilty of entering the hospital wrapped in a towel from the waist down...lovely experience.

* recovery - no one warned me of the hell it would be after baby #1, good thing it gets better each delivery or i would not have made it to #5.

* the jello tire around the waist right after delivery...sick and wrong!

* sleep deprivation - my newborns didn't sleep, EVER!

* the horse pills - my last three kids turned out fine without any prentals in my system!

* complete loss of privacy...i swear, after all the prenatal exams and delivery/post partum mursing care, the president himself could have a peek for all i care! (ok, maybe i took that one a little to far).

oh the list could go on. but in the end, aren't they worth it all?

Amy M. said...

I so agree on all of those things. NICE picture of the home birth. That pretty much sums it up. I know a girl who delivered at home in a kiddie tub, then rinsed it out and let the neighbor kids play in it a few weeks later. Ew.
Homeschooling totally baffles me. How do moms DO that?

Em said...

I'm totally with you on No. 1! Ew.

And the home birthing picture nearly made me toss my cookies....

Always entertaining, your blog!

sarahw said...

My sis-in-law chooses to birth naturally. She has done it 4 times. Great for her, but I could never, ever do it(and I'm even scared of needles). Funny post.

The Mostess said...


One thing I am not baffled by?? Why I like you so much!

These are all bad ideas. All of them. Can I add my own (I hope I don't offend anyone--actually, not my blog, I don't care)

Bare belly shots/man's tender hands making a heart around the belly button. Lame.

Putting wedding rings on your babies tiny hands, wrists, and feet. What is that all about?

Photos and videos of ladybits with and/or without emerging babies. Who the crap ever wants to see that?

Headbands on babies. **I know I'm not making friends with that one**

I have a friend who homeschools, and her blog state that "there learning so much!" Not with you as a teacher, lady.

Ashley said...

If you don't get someone offended by this post, there is no justice in blogland. I hope some anonymouses come out (including but not limited to Romney).

brooke said...

Ashley--I know I will be offending but I'm rolling the dice. I can think of someone I know (and love) who fits into every one of these categories so it really isn't personal. These are just things that I would never do myself.

The home-birthing is a whole nother story. I can barely look at the picture I posted without getty chucky.

alexandra said...

my very favorite might be that onion morally superior bit. i had some people close to me once ask me how i could stand to miss out on experiencing the birth of my children. it took some serious effectiveness training (thank you, 7 habits) to not let that taint my relationships with those morally superior natural child-birthing relatives.

but i also love the home bath thing. you know, this whole post was hilarious. that photos were just so . . . demeaning, but in such a funny way that no one could really take offense.

the only one i can understand is the homeschooling (the photo there makes it look pretty ridiculous, too), though i think it owuld be really really hard.

katie said...

I could not agree with your list anymore! Like the Mostess said, I am sick of all the bare bellies and the husband's hands forming a heart. In general, I am not a big fan of professional maternity pictures. They are just kind of weird to me.

Something that baffles me is women who breastfeed their toddlers (NOT babies) in public without a cover. It's just weird. They just pull it out and let it hang there.

Remember that nasty blogpost that Sam was sent a while ago about the nasty home birthing people in Provo? Well, I see that same girl on campus. She pulls it out and feeds the kid wherever. It baffles me.

Aaron + Mandee said...

Aaron wants to get one of those home birthing pools just for fun- like a conversation starter or something.

We were just discussing epidurals vs natural the other night at our Bachelor finale party- half of us swore by the epidural, and the other half had all of their babies naturally. I have so much respect for any women who can have their baby without being numbed up- as I feel a twitch of pain and I am begging for relief.

Homeschool though- I think if I lived outside of Utah, say Bakersfield, I might be forced to consider it. But I'm with you. It's relief.

Linda said...

Amen to everything on this post!! Does it surprise anyone that the "home-birthing" girl from Provo breastfeeds that KID - she has to be over two now - in public?? She had no hesitation to gross out the world on her blog with graphic nude photos of her home birth and the three of them in the neighbor's wading pool after the delivery. (trust me - it's NOT a visual you want!) I just want to know what happened to that pool - pray she didn't give it back!!

brooke said...

Thanks Katie for the reminder. I too, shudder at the thought of public nursing with no cover (and I'm totally pro-breastfeading!)

I forgot to mention the Duggars-that crazy family on TLC with 19 kids. I don't understand it.

I forgot to mention cloth diapers and home-made baby food. Not my cup of tea.

As for the homeschooling--I actually understand that one and don't think people are weird who do it. I think it is necessary in some areas or situations. My point on that is that I'm waaaay too lazy and the thought of sending my kids to school is the carrot that gets me out of bed every day.

Noelle Perkins said...

I personally think you are denying your children of a beautiful experience...Picture this: my friend had her baby in a pool at home. She let her 7 year old boy help cut the cord and then they buried the placenta under a tree in the backyard. Now that's a memory that will definitely change a young child's life.

shelby said...

I threw up in my mouth a little at the picture of the home birth...yuck!! I agree with all of them. And home schooling....I have 2 more years with my middle one before he is gone all day....I just might die!!

Christie said...

I knew a girl who did home births in a plastic tub in her living room (just like your picture). After the birth, she sent around pictures taken right after her baby was born. She was still in the water, blood and crap floating everywhere, and you could see her cooch because, hello, water is see-through. It was HORRIFYING. That picture alone would have prevented me from ever giving birth had I not already done so three times. SICK.

I second everything on your list, btw.

Christie said...

P.S. Naked belly shots are my absolute PET-PEEVE. I think it's the ugliest thing a woman can do to herself. I refuse to ever shoot pictures of that.

Jill said...

Oh my, this is so funny! I love the Onion cover with "How morally superior does it make you?" I did a double take before realizing it was The Onion!

The picture of the home birth is just too much!

I am baffled by the bare belly shots, but that's mainly because my stretch marks are scandalously awful so there would be no possible way to get a good shot.

Jill said...

P.S. Going back and reading these comments was like another hilarious post!

Melissa Walker said...

Isn't it nice to know that all of your readers are like-minded? As a woman who has not only not had a natural birth, but 3 planned c-sections after the first one and bottle-feeds my babies, I firmly believe that we live in a day of modern medical miracles. My mother-in-law is an ob/gyn in Sandy and some of the situations she's encountered would make you never want to give birth at home--how can you possibly be prepared should something go wrong? She also finds women who have epidurals are so relaxed and calm when they meet their babies where women who've had a rough natural go of it are just glad to be done and too exhausted to cuddle and bond with the baby yet. Yes, I know women have been doing natural birth for thousands of years, but until modern day, thousands of women also died from those births!

And homeschooling--don't get me started. I went to 4 years of school and another year of training to be able to teach only secondary school English and History and people think they don't need any training to teach their kids kindergarten through 12th grade, all subjects? Nope--sorry, not good enough.

Thanks for letting me chime in on your baffles!

joslyn said...

this post is awesome. oh and how i agree with EVERYTHING you said.

i don't even like my kids to bring food/drink in the front room let alone a birthing pool and all that comes along with a birth (ya know what i mean).

i don't like to look (anti mirror), touch, feel, the baby until they are all clean and wrapped in the blanket.

nothing about it is beautiful to me until we are nestled in our POST room. that's just the way i roll:)

Jen (and her men) said...
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Kim said...

I just love to read your blog I totally agree with you on all of it! I am also happy to hear that I am not the only one with a count down to all kids in school for 7 hours! Ok, maybe that makes me sound like a really bad mom, but trust me if your husband was out of town Tues-Friday every week you would need your kids in school 5 days a week trust me!!

Dr. Anonymous, PHD said...


Liz said...

Made my day....I about gagged one day when my good friends sat around saying how "they are more of a woman" because they did their childbirth naturally. many Asperger parents homeschool their kids so they don't have to deal with a social setting. DUH. Where else will they learn to deal with inevitable?

Mandee...loved the Bakersfield comment. One of Bill's sisters does homeschool and it would make me crazy. A good friend of mine is fighting that battle with her husband right now. Guess which side she is on!

Dave and Christine said...

I just can't get over the creepiness of some of those pictures, especially the home birthing one.

I agree with you on all accounts. Great post!

Heidi said...

Brooke, totally agree! Love this post!

Jenn J. said...

Ew. I could have gone my whole life without seeing that birthing tub picture. Her, Him... it's all too much. The fact that he's actually sharing the tub with her? Gross. I can't stop squirming in my chair.

Amen to all of your statements. I'd also like to add one. What's with those people who make a big, old belly mold of their stomach out of plaster? What are they possibly going to do with that thing? You can't tell me they plan on storing that stinky cast-like thing in their house their whole life, right??

lindsey said...

I 100% agree with everything on this list. I just don't understand any of those things, although I am sure it works for some people.

I'm not even going to read your comments for fear of some crazy person calling you to task on any of these things.

I know that it's only my opinion but I think home-births are DISGUSTING.

Anonymous said...

Wow. I think this has got to be one of your most insensitive posts ever. Way to flat-out alienate everyone whose opinion differs from yours. It's one thing to say you personally would never have a doula, or a home birth, but it's quite another thing to post the most demeaning pictures you can find and mock anyone who thinks differently than you.

I have not had maternity pictures taken, I had an epidural, taught school and generally don't think homeschooling is the right answer, and plan to have all my babies in the hospital, so it's not like you're even stabbing at something I personally believe in. I just think your take on these subjects was incredibly harsh and not funny at all.

brooke said...

Dear Anonymous,

I guess I was anticipating your comment (or at least one comment like this) and it was not my intent to offend.

Just so you know, I simply googled "home birth," "homeschool" and "doula", etc and those were the images that came up. I was certainly not looking for demeaning photos and I didn't actually think they were--except for the home birth one--every home birth photo is pretty bad.

Like I said in an earlier comment, I have friends and loved ones who have done each of these things--I'm not opposed to any of them (except home births, which to be honest, I think are completely irresponsible, and down-right disgusting.)

The rest are just not for me and it blows my mind that people actually want to do these things--like natural childbirth. I would not elect to have surgery with no anesthesia so why would I give birth that way?

Anyway, my point was not to offend. I'm sorry if it came across that way. Part of me is just tired of censoring my blog to appeal to everyone. I may lose a few readers along the way but I have to be true to myself and what I want to post about. I hope you will return and not give up on me.


Sara said...

I was waiting for someone (above) to comment anonymously like that. ha!

Heather said...

You people make me never want to have children, in a kiddie pool, hospital, or otherwise. Eeek. Adoption is an option.


LOL! Girl, you tell it like it is and I laughed out loud several times at the comments.

A) Anyone who is "alienated" by funny opinion writings is just not confident in their own beliefs. I tend to be offended easily by things of which I am unsure in my heart to begin with (sorry for the preposition at the end of the sentence, but that's how I roll sometimes.) Oh, and even with that preposition out of place, I will homeschool, because I want to, and God has given me (for some CRAZY reason) the desire and passion to do so; sometimes I wish for the freedon of which you speak though;

B) I have never had an epidural (because my labors are two hours, and intensely painful, but they always say, "no, it's too late.") So I don't even ask anymore. I also don't think the 5% of anesthesiologists who properly place spinals are living and working here in Bakersfield, so I don't want to risk my future neurological health on that.

C) I poop way too much to ever have a home birth. Gross. Soooooo gross. Two of my kiddos have had to remain in the hospital after birth because of complications from being born too fast (imagine) so having them at home wouldn't be safe. But, I have friends who do it and love it...poop and all.

D) I was just contemplating having a tummy shot for this final pregnancy. I have thought better of it at this point, but if I get one, I'm posting it just for you!!!


Rev. Anonymous said...

@Anonymous, dial it down. Maybe you should start a blog about the beauty of natural birhts and then you can post any number of the non-vomit-inducing photos of this crazy ritual.
If more people spoke out like Brooke, the less crazy people we'd have to deal with once we swam ourselves into the world.

Hansens said...

Loved your post, I agree with all of them My dad was an obgyn and gets crazy mad when he hears about babies born in baths. By the way, I am a friend of your sister-in-law Heidi.

Em said...

I think the pregnancy is making you soft! Offended Anon didn't deserve such a nice long apology! It's your blog, dammit! :) I love how brave you are--regardless of whether I happen to agree or disagree with you (or your commenters).

Kimmie said...

dang...i was hoping that was Sam trying to spice things up a little!

i just love how many comments all of your posts get, it cracks me up how serious people get!

Anonymous said...

hi brooke,

i enjoy your open and honest blog. i am not offended by your post, as i have seen several posts advocating opposing view points on home-birthing blogs. these are definitely heated topics that many people quickly take offense to.

my comment is actually for katie & linda. i am pretty sure that i read the "nasty" home-birthing blog that you are referring to. please remember that the internet/utah is not such a big place after all. while you may disagree with their decision, leaving comments about a specific individual is hurtful and uncalled for.

anonymous (b/c i prefer not to call attention to the aforementioned blog)

Denise said...

How about how the after pains get worse with each baby and they feel like you are in labor again? What's up with that?

I agree with most of your list. However, I do understand the natural thing (although I have not done it willingly). The only reason that I understand it is because I would do it for the mere opportunity to SAY that I did it. That is just plain pride and that is why I get all numbed up each time. (That is why I won't run a marathon either.)

Linde said...

I'm with you on natural child birth! I only had 2 (major) contractions before they took me in for the C-section and I was soo thankful that was it! My sister said that she thought they should find out who invented epidurals and do their temple work for them. :)

I agree with all of your statements! :)

Angie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Elizabeth said...

I'm thinking the comments section is as entertaining as your post Brooke.
I couldn't agree more with each and every point especially the Douala... what the ? why would you pay a non medical person hundreds of $$$ to watch you give birth and touch you??? (shudder)
Also I want to chuck a tantrum cos epidurals are not as common in Oz and I feel jipped I didnt get one for each birth. I had a "natural birth" with every other drug I could possibly inhale ... it was NOT empowering just exhausting.
PS I really thought the internet was pretty big... bigger than Utah at least ;-)

Elizabeth said...

also I'm too thick to work out what NSFW means . Please enlighten me Dr Anon (Phd)

pendant lighting said...

I agree with this whole post!

Linda said...

Katie - we got called out by "anonymous!!" Someone who can't even cowboy up with her real name!! I love it! I only wish I had that home-birthing girls' name or blog name. Hey, she was the one putting it out there (both on campus and on her blog) for the world to see!! Maybe she and "anonymous" are one in the same!!

katie said...

It does make me laugh how feisty these anonymous people get.

I did not use a specific individual's name in my comment. I could have, but I chose not to.

I am sure there are hundreds of irresponsible people in Provo who home birth. It could have been any one of them that I was referring to.


Anonymous said...

Hi Brooke,
What I really wanted to say was it is natural for a child to be born in the same setting as he/she was conceived. Whether it be at home, in the hot tub, in the kiddie pool filled by the garden hose, or at the Red Roof Inn.
The hospital, while probably safe and sterile, can be confusing, unfamiliar, and hectic to an infant. And think we can all agree that's what's most important. Shouldn't we really be talking less about us and what we want and more about what's in the best interest of the child. I, for one, am willing to sacrifice a moment of pain, comfort, and embarrassment for the child's sake. If thid comes off in any way as self-righteous I'm sorry it wasn't my intent. That's the reason I posted it under Anonymous.

Anonymous said...

One last thing to Katie and Linda, you and I can agree to disagree but your baby can't.

Elizabeth said...

ok the last Anon comment has got to either be male or childless.. "a moment of pain" isn't quite how I would describe childbirth.

Elizabeth said...

and the other Anon... Linda's baby CAN disagree with you... she wrote the post.

Cameron said...

Dear Ms. Anonymous who called out Katie and Linda,

Obviously you are aware of the "nasty" blog which has been referred to. Yeah, the blog which featured a plastic swimming pool stuffed into a tiny college apartment filled to the brim with blood, fecal matter, and tap water. This is exactly the kind of liquid coctail any loving and careful parent would want their child born into. (By the way, what happened to that pool? Summer is coming and I need to a way to cool off in the evenings..)

Oh, and this is also the blog which featured buck naked photos of a less than svelte individual wallowing around in her own pool of absolute disgustingness. The pics of her bare breasts made for an especially classy addition.

Anyone who would willingly and recklessly endanger the life of their newborn by home-birthing deserves to be called out.

So before you decide to take offense, take a step back, shed the smug attitude, and USE YOUR BRAIN!!

Anonymous said...

Sorry Cam but how exactly do you think you're qualified to speak on this subject matter? Have you carried a life to full term and gone through the journey and miracle of child birth with all of its physical challenges and spiritual blessings? Wow, you really feel it appropriate for you to tell others how they should go through this? What's next, are you going to give us tips on how to pilot the space shuttle? Give me a break! You are entitled to your opinion, but you ought to keep it yours when you don't know what you're talking about.

Cameron said...

I'm sorry, obviously I have offended you. If you don't like people challenging your lunacy then don't throw yourself into the mix.

To address your point, this is not a matter of opinion. This is COMMON SENSE. I'm no doctor, but neither are you. Just because you have had a baby like billions of other people doesn't make you any more qualified than me. I've never been shot in the face but I don't need expert training to know that would be hazardous to my health. It takes a genius to fly a space shuttle. It does NOT take a genius to know that home-birthing is reckless endangerment.

Here's the most obvious problem that seems to escape your orbit of logic. What if something goes wrong? What if the baby starts coming out sideways? What if the umbilical cord is wrapped around the baby's neck? What if the baby isn't breathing and needs to be placed on a respirator? (oh wait, I think I saw one of these lying around that apartment, right next to the home-made tampons)What if a caesarean operation is needed? Is your husband going to perform that? The point is, anything can go wrong and even if a physician is present, there is no guarantee he or she will be fully equipped to deal with the emergency, because a home IS NOT A HOSPITAL!!

If you still need expert opinion, then refer to the American Medical Association or the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists'. Both organizations oppose home-birthing...because home-birthing is INSANE!!

LKC said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Corrine said...

Brooke, I love reading your blog- and the comments are just as good as this post.
One of my pet peeves goes along with the "superiority" of the natural birth crowd. I have never had a contraction I didn't pay good money for. Like my mother, I don't go into spontanous labor, no matter what I try or how long I wait.
Strangers who offer unsolicited (and uninformed) adivce on how to jumpstart labor make me want to beat them. I even had one well-meaning neighbor telling me what I should be doing and how awful inductions are- morally. Not to be insensitive to her, but she was unable to have children. I wasn't telling her how easy it was to just get pregnant. "I can do it, why can't you?" Ugg! Keep your advice to yourself unless I ask for it- which I won't! That was three babies ago and she still bugs me!

Anonymous said...

i read the home-birthing blog because i went to school with the author. if it grosses you out, then don't read it! she deserves the right to advocate her point of view - even if you find it offensive or extreme. i have been shocked at how much gossiping goes on through blogs and was disappointed to find those types of comments here.

as far as i know, supermodel gisele and blogger nienie are both home birthers. i definitely would not call them nasty!

Anonymous said...

Home schooling is becoming more mainstream because most of our teachers are quite simply lazy, unqualified and overpaid.
The teachers union is an assault on our children's development. This is almost enough to home school.

Anonymous said...

Nie Nie used a midwife.

Linda said...

FINLALLY, I would like to say that "home-birthers" are totally SELFISH and IRRESPONSIBLE!! The LAST one they are thinking of is the BABY!! (or they wouldn't be doing it at home)
Brookie - is "anonymous" a guy just having fun trying to stir things up with idiodic comments?? If so, I'm embarrassed that I even engaged him!

Cameron said...

Hey "anonymous," I never said she didn't have the right to advocate her views on her own blog. That's her right, no matter how utterly absurd or irresponsible those views may be. But I also have a right to criticize those views if she is going to thrust them into the public domain. If she doesn't like it, then she should privatize her blog. Also, no names or links have ever been posted about this particular individual.

As for your gossiping allegation, the nature of the comments here goes beyond mere gossip. Home-birthing is such an irresponsible activity that it naturally elicits a shocked response. Anyone with common sense will of course be very critical of a parent who would so recklessly endanger the life of their child. I've got the American Medical Association on my side. You've got Tom Brady's wife and a local blogging, way to bring out the big guns!

Finally, if you are going to come onto this blog and post your loony crap, at least have the balls to use your name.

Cameron said...

Hahaha, even if "anonymous" is some guy (hmmm, wonder who...)trying to stir things up, it doesn't change the fact that there are still tons of idiots out there who want really believe home-birth is totally fine. I once saw a news story on a woman who wanted to give birth in the ocean with a bunch of dolphins! Yes, this crap actually happens!

Aaron + Mandee said...

I just wanted to thank you for the entertainment- I read all of the good comments to Aaron tonight, and we laughed! A lot.

Laura B. said...

Oh my gosh. This is good stuff. Best thing I've read all weekend.

Shelly B. said...

Did someone really just type "most of our teachers are ...overpaid?"

Wow. I'm speechless.

Jacqui said...

Funny you should write about this because I just read the blog post of a friend who delivered at home in a tub a week ago. She detailed her "empowering" delivery. I was a little horrified, having just given birth the week before myself. But, I was in the warm, sterile environment of the operating room surrounded by qualified professionals who immediately attended to my new son and all his "high-risk" needs. There was plenty of love and attention in that operating room. No need to further risk his life and well being by delivering him in a bath tub.

Brooke, your blog makes me laugh!

Raderstorf Family said...

What teacher is overpaid??

Jaime said...

Wow Brooke! There is some serious drama going on. I love it! My neighbor just gave birth at home on Thursday. Frightening! Seriously, what do they do with all that "stuff" afterwards. Seriously sick! All those "anonies" just need to grow up. But it does make for a good read. More drama than any rose ceremony!

Anonymous said...

A lot of teachers, Rattledorf. Teachers who work 6 hrs, 4 days a week, and take an entire 3rd of the year off, who teach the same lessons for 15 years, and go running to the safety of the union when asked to meet minimum standards of student competence testing. Per hour worked, techers make more than many lawyers, accountants and even doctors. Teachers refuse merit pay and demand tenure and seniority-based pay scales to ensure they get paid more for less work to the detriment of our students.


Wow...just wow.

GWACK said...

Sorry for posting (I'm a blog stalker!) but I just had to comment on the whole teacher thread. My husband has been teaching for 9 years. He just got his master's degree in education administration. He works above and beyond what he's paid to do during his "6 hour" day. He plans extra-curricular activities, grades papers, updates blogs for his student's parents, answers e-mails and makes phone calls to parents, all after the regular school day. He works 5 days a week at school and does the other stuff at home, where he isn't paid. I don't know where you live (UT?) but here in CA, the teachers work long and hard hours. And now the state budget is in the toilet and cuts are being made so that there will be more to do, while making the same amount of money. Let me just tell you, because I've seen my husband's paycheck....teachers do not make enough for all of the work that they do.

Brooke....loved this post! Women who go through childbirth without meds are going through some unnecessary pain! And homebirths are just plain yucky and scary. Thanks for keeping it real!

Anonymous said...

Did your husband not know how much teachers are paid when he choose to go into the profession? No offense, but the sob story gets old. Unlike your husband, most people work all 12 months of the year and don't get a 3 month vacation every year (on top of every federal and state holiday, lengthy christmas break, and things called "teachers day." Most teachers make too much. Some don't make enough. But unfortunately, teachers refuse to adopt a merit-based pay structure (like everyone else) and simply reward attrition and then try and use the nobility of the profession to complain about their salary.

Natalie said...

have you looked at awkward family photos lately??


brooke said...


Thanks for the laugh I needed today. That was the perfect way to end the comments on this post!!

Love ya!

Anonymous said...

WOW. I am astounded at this post and the string of comments. I had a friend call and tell me about it because she was as shocked by the feeling pervading this post as I have become as I've scrolled down.

While it might be humorous to read some of the extreme statements, the ignorance of so many bloggers is not humorous at all. Its obvious that smear campaigns against midwives and home births contribute to much of the ignorance.

FACT: Midwives have a national average of c-section that is statistically lower than Doctors. Why? Because midwives have to be educated as nurses and work in L&D for several years before being accepted to midwifery school. And their knowledge base is expounded in midwifery school to recognize signs/symptoms of a high-risk pregnancy. Therefore midwives don't deliver and often won't accept high risk pregnant women. There is no reason why someone can't deliver at home if they have minimal risk factors.

There is a lot of information out there about birth and the reasons why healthcare professionals do what they do if you actually take the time to look up the literature. For example, did you know that doctors have to pay on avg $75k more each year in professional insurance coverage if they want to deliver breech babies? Its not that they can't do it, but would have to choose between paying for their child's college tuition, etc and delivering 2-3 babies a year. So of course they'll just perform a c-section and save the money.

I wouldn't choose a home birth for myself but I have a lot of respect for those that do. Same for epidurals---I prefer to feel no pain whatsoever but a lot of women want to try it natural for as long as they can. Same goes for marathons---I couldn't care less about running and talking about which city or township I'm planning on sprinting through but a lot of women get some sort of social high out of bringing this stuff up. Just because I don't do it myself doesn't mean I'm going to rip on those who do, or try to put them down.

@Cameron: giving birth with dolphins is different than giving birth at home.

@Brooke: you say "it was not my intent to offend" yet you sure didn't go out of your way to not offend anyone.

@Linda: using an anonymous identity is not necessarily refusing to "cowboy up" to the blogosphere. Some of us don't have blogs even though we typically enjoy reading others and using an anonymous option allows us to share our thoughts about other's posts.

I think there are a lot of ignorant comments on this thread. Its astounding that in a world with so much information at our fingertips there are so many people who refuse to reach out to find it.

Anonymous said...

Correction: I meant to say:

@Brooke: you say "it was not my intent to offend" yet you sure didn't go out of your way to not offend anyone. And then you posted a long post justifying your history of offending people with links to posts you've written that have offended or caused controversy. And your sister Ashley even hinted in her first comment that she'd be surprised if you didn't get anonymous comments suggesting she knew people would be guys are such great pals it is easy to believe that you knew this as well and did it anyway. Well, its your blog and you're in control of the spirit that pervades it so you go girl.

Also, I wanted to add that if you don't understand the concept of doulas you must not understand what a doula does. A doula's job is to do WHATEVER the mother-to-be needs to be relaxed. Who wouldn't want that? I would love a doula but can't afford one. My friend had a doula at her last birth (which yes, was at her home) and her doula cooked her favorite breakfast for her, cleaned her house, baked her cookies, and made sure her older kids were occupied so that the mom-to-be wouldn't worry about them. She also gave her a massage. Who wouldn't want this kind of special treatment for a day?

Stephanie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stephanie said...

Oh no she didn't! I cannot believe anyone would diss a teacher for only working 9 months of the year...Are you kidding?! Sounds like a brilliant plan to me. They deserve it!!! I sure hope there are special blessings reserved for teachers because no amount of money would do it for me. I can hardly handle my own kids sometimes let alone a room full of other people's kids day in and day out. Wow! I had to do a couple of short bouts of home-schooling over the years out of pure necessity. It wasn't fun or easy. I'm just pleased that my kids and I lived through it! Hands down I am thankful there are teachers willing to take on such a job. I think I'd rather drive a garbage truck. Kudos to teachers--thank you!! The teachers I have known in Utah are nothing short of amazing. I have known teachers who actually visit their students when they are sick or have had surgery--many actually love their students. Now that my kids are in their teens I can admit this--when my kids were little I could hardly handle the thought of participating in a playgroup. My kids were enough for me. :) I love kids but a room full of other people's kids scare me. Again, love them and love their parents for taking care of them. ;)

So, basically, I am content to be a wimp. If something doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things to me than I will take the easier way out. If it does really, really, really matter than at all costs I will do whatever it takes. As years pass, fewer and fewer things fall into the latter category.

Natural childbirth--hmmm...I decided to let my friend who was sold on the idea of natural childbirth be my final decision on the matter. I listened to everything she told me. All the "benefits"...she couldn't have been more sold on the idea all the way around. She had the natural childbirth experience that she dreamt of--though, to me, it sounded more like a living nightmare. For months after she told me how great it was and how she would never do it again with an epideral. Within a year she was pregnant again...and my curiousity was peaked. By the time she had her baby she had completely changed her mind and her tune as I suspected she might. She no longer felt like she needed that mental medal of achievement--she had her Olympic moment once and that was enough for her (and me). Really, I'm good. I'm glad I didn't have to go through that experience to find out what I already knew about myself--that I wouldn't regret "missing out" on that experience. Maybe your joy can be as great as the depth of your pain but I love my kids more than anything and that is enough for me. When I came into the world I'm sure I was going to be freaked out no matter where I was born--glad I didn't find out later that I was born into a tub with floating
p--p. So thankful for that! Thank you mom!!!

If so wonderful than great, do it, enjoy it but if it's that special than treasure it in your heart without trying to win other people over to agree with your views to make you feel better. Because, frankly, no one else will probably "get it" even after your best efforts of "educating" others. Some things are meant to be private--I'm thinking that should be one of them. There should also be some kind of home-childbirth disclosure when these people put their house up for sale. I think people will think twice before they buy a kiddie pool in a garage sale after reading this blog.

As for the tummy pics, I guess I can see it both ways. It is such a moment of joy and anticipation that you want to capture--it's just not something I would hang on a wall--maybe in your closet. Although, I think it's great to be so comfortable in your own skin. Enjoy it while you can!! :) I would prefer a tight shirt--something that won't gross out your kids (as much) when they get older. Also, you might want to hide that picture when they get older--and sleep in separate beds to complete the illusions. ;)lol.

Stephanie said...

Anon, I respect your opinion but it doesn't mean I have to agree with it. I don't think it helps your position at all to keep using the "ignorant" card--that certainly doesn't make your opinion right. It just makes you seem short-tempered and on the edge of a tantrum. If you are so sure you are right than who cares what anyone else thinks. Seriously. Brooke is simply sharing her opinion--she wasn't trying to offend people--but it's her blog. Does she really need to put up a disclaimer that says, "Warning, the opinions on this blog are mine." If you are too offended then you may want to find someplace else where you can find likeminded people that will support your opinion and make you feel right about everything. I too prefer to live in a bubble; I can respect that.

What a blessing it is to know people have different opinions than mine—they make me who I am! The world would be such a boring place if you were all me! I think we all can be thankful for that! :)

Love you Brooke for who you are!

Eliza said...

Hi, I'm Eliza. :) We have random mutual friend told me about this post and I found it entertaining but wanted to speak up about one aspect of the comments. I'm sure it won't change anybody's mind :) but it might make you less horrified about home birth to know that certified nurse midwives (CNMs) are medical professionals. They maintain relationships with OBs who will back them up in event of emergency, or who will take on their clients if a mom is "risked out" of home birth due to risk factors like breech, pre-eclampsia, preterm labor or preterm water breaking, etc.

CNMs with current licenses are authorized to carry oxygen for resuscitation, Pitocin in case of postpartum hemorrhage, and Dopplers for fetal monitoring during labor and pushing. They bring at least one trained assistant (often another midwife) with them to assist during labor and birth. They can perform (and stitch up) episiotomies too. C-sections they obviously can't do, but that's about it.

I haven't had a home birth myself but feel bad when people who deliver in a safe, clean home with licensed midwives, within short driving distance to a local hospital if necessary, are labeled as irresponsible and accused of disgusting behavior and reckless endangerment.

Babies and moms died in childbirth as recently as the 19th and 20th century because, for instance, of babies getting stuck in malformed pelvises (rickets/malnutrition in poor people; corsets in rich people); or because of unclean water, spreading tuberculosis and other diseases; or because of rampant, unidentified, untreated postpartum infection. They continued to die in equally high numbers when birth moved to the hospital in the 20th century, until the pros figured out that, for instance, they should wash their hands in between examining patients and not use forceps unless indicated. As death and disease decreased among the general population in the 20th century, so it did in hospital birth and home birth.

Home birth with a licensed midwife continues to show the same or lower death rates, much lower C-section rates, and across-the-board lower morbidity (injury) rates than hospital birth. By contrast, although many C-sections are necessary, the rise in C-section rates over the past 2 decades has not shown a decline in fetal or maternal deaths.

On the morally superior thing--I have had an epidural labor, had a C-section, and had a natural birth. I hope others don't think I somehow care more or less about my children because of an epidural or not, C-section or not. Saying that unmedicated birth is morally superior to medicated birth is just as untrue as saying that educated, healthy moms who deliver with a midwife are being reckless.

Moms who deliver at home without prenatal care and with no one attending but their husband, that's another story and that is reckless.

Everything in your actual post I found entertaining and I was offended by nothing; I just wanted to address some of the misinformation that I read in the comments. If anyone will even read this anymore anyway! :)


Well written and informative! Thanks for your input for sure! Brooke, did you ever think you would still be recieving comments on this one? :)

HAPPYHANERHOME said... would think I didn't know how to spell, but I do, honest.

Tyler said...

I'm just seeing this comment string for the first time. Holy cow that was entertaining!