Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Costa Rica!

I like the quote from Steel Magnolias "If you can't say something nice, come sit by me." I'm not feeling like saying anything nice today. Maybe it's the fact that I haven't had a treat in a week but I'm ready to rip some one's head off. If you are a Michelle fan, you can leave now.

Let's start with the Giraffe in the room. What the crap was Chantel thinking with the Betty Rubble giraffe print dress last night? (Thanks Chrisy!) I wish I could find a picture. Her hair was bad, the dress was heinous. And I like Chantel. She is just not the snappiest dresser.

I did love Chantel's date with Brad. They left in a ...wait for it...helicopter to go do the world's longest zip line. That zip line was the only thing that made me want to go to Costa Rica. I can leave the rest of it. It looked so cold and rainy.

One thing I like about Chantel is that she's not a size 0. She is still cute and Brad adores her. I loved it when their dinner got rained out and they ran back to Brad's room where Chantel changed into one of Brad's white man shirts. It was a super sexy date.

I loved how the other girls were talking about seeing Chantel come home in his shirt and how mad they were. I also loved how ticked off Michelle was on the group date that Brad was breaking his deal with her to never going repelling again without her. She is such a piece of work. Every time she is comes on, I want to smack her. I loved how she was gloating about the rain for Chantel and it ended up making Chantel's date even better.

How classy was Michelle at the hot springs when she said something like "When I see Brad without his shirt on, it makes me want to go home and...BLEEP!" I think I know what she said and it isn't good. Also, did she pack nothing but workout clothes, bikinis and fancy dresses? Has anyone seen her in real clothes?

Wasn't it so predictable when Michelle showed up at Brad's room after the date? I loved how confused Brad was--like why are you here again? It was so dumb how the producers had that rose out on the ottoman like he might give it to her right there. By the way, my friend Greg pointed out that Michelle's skin is looking really bad. Good call Greg. Okay, enough about Michelle (and her ginorm necklaces.)

Poor pathetic Alli. Her date was so awkward. I feel bad for her too because that date would have been my own personal nightmare--a cave (I'm claustrophobic) with bats(I hate birds and bats are like birds only 10x worse!) I would never have gone in, even for Brad.

The only think Alli has going for her are those cute dimples. Brad knew he had to send her home that night. I laughed out loud when she said "What is this?" and Brad replied "I think it's chicken." You never see them talk about the food.

I loved it when he asked her if she would like to live in a big city like Austin (Brad's bars are in Austin and clearly, whoever wins, will be living in Austin.) She answers "No, not really. People think they're cool because they live in a big city but it's inconvenient to get around." She didn't have a chance anyway. It's okay. She's only 24. She'll be fine. She can just go back to working at Express ("apparel merchant"--gotta love the euphemisms for the jobs) and find someone else.

I knew Jackie was going home tonight. Nothing wrong with her but it's time to trim the fat and get down to the girls who have a chance.

Speaking of the other girls, I'm not loving Ashley and her painted on eyebrows. Brit needs to talk once in a while. Emily is still adorable. She has the best clothes on the show. I still think she is going to leave next week and it is going to break Brad's heart. Shawntel is fine. She seems to have a good personality and gets Michelle's craziness.

I can't wait for Anguilla. No more rain! Don't be surprising me with any trips to Costa Rica Sam! Anyone else got anything not nice to say? Please comment.


Denise said...

Well, it's about time! I'm finding myself looking forward to your posts and I expect you to do better since I will be waiting two hours ahead. be considerate, please!

You didn't mention how Michelle thought that Chantal was "so egotistical", etc., etc. All I could think was that she was describing herself...and I think Emily was right there with me.

You are so right about Chantal's hair. I was hoping he wouldn't dump her just because of how bad it looked.

GWACK said...

I'm a blog stalker but love your bachelor posts! What did you think of all the girls with their French braids? It reminded me of when people go on vacation and they think it's a great idea to get corn rows with little beads attached. I think it worked on a few of the girls but didn't help Michelle at all (especially when she did the surprise visit to Brad.)

I loved Chantal and Brad's date. They just seem like they're meant to be together. She doesn't have any fashion sense at all (why didn't someone on the show give her a head's up?) but I think that makes it even better that Brad doesn't care. He just really likes her.

Such awesome TV!

cjdustin said...

Hi Brooke,
I just love your Bachelor posts. I was a little disappointed that you weren't able to draw a Betty Rubble comparison with Chantel's outfit last night because that's all that popped into my mind everytime the camera showed her. I do like her though.
You are right about Michele's skin. Her hair color and skin are gradually morphing into the same fake orange color. Too much spray tan???
Anyway, love your posts and analysis. Good luck on Club Phat!

brooke said...


I totally thought the same thing with the betty Rubble dress! Horrible!

And yes--the french braid in front was everywhere Kari! Agreed about vacation braids. Emily pulled it off. Michelle--not so much.

Sorry about the delay Denise. I have to get 7 hours of sleep for Club Phat and I finished watching the show at midnight.

Stephanie said...

Thank you--I agree, what was up with Chantal's dress and hair? She is so pretty but just seemed out of place. I was stressing out when Chantal was going to have a private talk with Brad! I thought for sure that she was going to diss on Michelle...and that would bug me. I am so glad that instead she focused on her feelings towards Brad and left Michelle to her own inevitable demise. heehee. So, that was a relief and made me like Chantal even more!

After last night's episode, even as entertaining as Michelle's clumsy antics are, I can't wait for her to leave! She couldn't have picked a better (or should I say worse) time to pop in on Brad and show her true colors. It was great to see that Brad was finally clueing in on her craziness. It gave me joy when she started her moves on him and trying to unbutton his shirt and he squirmed away, "What is wrong with you?" haha. Oh, and loved how she numbered the order of girls that he needed to send home next. His reaction to her was fun to watch.

When it came time for the Rose Ceremony, I couldn't wait to see Michelle go home empty-handed. I waited and waited for what I believed was the inevitable moment...and was shocked when her name was called. Everyone that was in the room watching with us reacted in unison, "Noooooo!"

How could he keep her after all that drama? She's like a venomous snake bite--cut the wound and suck out the venom before it's too late! At least he made her wait until last. Next week has to be her final week! Right? This is such torture!

Linde said...

And Michelle's hair when she went to see Brad. What is with the braid across the top of her head! Loved the post!!

Stephanie said...

I think it's a bit funny that Michelle sported her forehead braid after Emily did. Trying to keep up with the competition? ;)It's okay Michelle, I couldn't have pulled that off either--but I wouldn't have tried. :)Emily could do anything to her hair and still look cute! As for poor Michelle, even if she stopped talking I'd have issues with her because I feel like I have enough of an idea of what's going through her head! In Michelle's defense,I probably wouldn't like myself either, if I had to watch myself on the big screen. It's hard enough to see myself in the mirror without wanting to Photoshop myself. ;)

Ashley H. said...

I thought Shawntel's "silent game" was really kind of cute. It was an innovative way to get a kiss.

However, Chantel's big "I'm falling in love with you statement" was a little awkward. I wish she would have done it at a more romantic moment.

Jen (and her men) said...

Darn you, I've actually started watching the dumb show. I laughed so hard last night. Michelle is awesome. I love every stupid thing about her. The show would be so boring without her. Sometimes I wonder if Brad really is that stupid to keep her around or if the producers are talking him into it. She's crazy. And I hate the braids, on all of them. Are they 12?

KellyBelly said...

Rebes and I feel like compared to what we would have said you WERE nice! hee hee. Zip line is totally on my bucket list and after seeing that one, I might have to be more specific and say zip line in Costa Rico. I am also with you on the cave. Birds and bats are NOT my thing and I wouldn't have gone in for a million bucks!

Do the producers really need to keep Michelle around any longer? Pllllleeeeease!

The Mostess said...

If I were Sam, I would have a hard time taking you anywhere since you watch this drivel...

HOWEVER--I got sucked in for 20 minutes last night because my remote batteries died, and I caught the silent game/makeout.

This show is pure (awesome!!) crap!

LAURA said...

I bet Michelle's off the next week, but I agree that she makes the show, it's so fun to watch her. My bro saw her at a boxing match in SLC last week, I guess she's dating one of the boxers...that sounds more like her type. :)

Can't wait til next week!

Ashley said...

Seriously, I couldn't get over Chantel's Betty Rubble dress either. That girl has some bad dresses. I like her though and I liked her date with Brad. Weird that she got a second date before Brit's had a first. There definitely seems to be a LOT of lounge-wear amongst the girls. I have some questions I'd like answered:
Are these girls on lock down when they aren't out with Brad?
Do they get to work out?
Why are they always drinking calories when they are hanging out around the house?
And while usually the exotic locales make me pine to visit, I agree that Costa Rica looks like the pits.

Em said...

There are so many reasons why I shouldn't watch this show! I'm such a feminist and the lack of diversity seriously seriously appalls me and yet, I...can't help myself.

It all boils down to Brad. What a dreamboat. It's his total honesty and chivalry toward all the women. Chantal (horrible horrible dresser!), Brit (did you see her heart-shaped sunglasses? Hearts must her thing.) and Emily are my faves.

I don't watch this show enough to know the format, but I wonder if Brit all of the sudden becomes a frontrunner, even though she hasn't had much alone time with Brad? Or is she more likely to be sent home at this point?

Jill said...

Hilarious as usual.

Greg said...

I know I'm kind of late to the party, but I just wanted to add a couple of comments:

a. Mastercard moment (i.e. priceless) of the episode - Ms. SLC (I'm not sure that "Miss" is appropriate, so I'll go with "Ms.") is talking with Emily near the beginning of the episode and Ms. SLC notes how "self-absorbed" Chantal is. The look on Emily's face at that moment was priceless! Maybe that's one of the reasons Emily is my favorite.

b. For all of her supposed bravado, I actually think that Ms. SLC may lack in self-confidence. It was actually getting a little pathetic. She spends all of her time with Brad talking about how Chantal is not good for Brad. Huh? It's not really the basis or foundation for any relationshiop. Ms. SLC, why don't you talk to Brad about all that you have to "offer." Maybe deep down, you're not so sure you have much.

c. On that note, I sometimes wonder if Ms. SLC is really into Brad or she's really into playing the villainess role on the show to further her own fame and fortune. Ms. SLC would trade Brad for fame and fortune in a nanosecond.

d. Not a surprise that Jennifer Garner went home. She really didn't have too much to say to him during their date. It really seemed very awkward.

e. Brooke, keep up the good work and thanks so much for the entertaining posts.