Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Fastest Bachelor Post Ever

Sorry for the delay in this post. I had too much going on last night to do it. Now I have a baby in my lap so I'm going to give you my quick thoughts and you all need to comment and fill in the rest!

1. I hate Sin City. I could seriously smell the cigarette smoke and booze through the tv.

2. I loved Shawntel's date. I would kill for a shopping spree like that. I loved it even more when she came home and lorded her purchases over the other girls. I didn't care for Brad's vest though. Who is dressing that guy?

3. I don't mind Shawntel but she does nothing for me. If I were her, I would shut up about my line of work and just be pretty. That is what she does best. Ditto to talking about her cat Peaches with the crazy eyes.

4. I actually shed tears when Emily cried when she got in the race car. I really really hope Brad didn't know about her fiance being a Nascar driver. I swore she told him. Either way, the producers are willing to do anything to provide the drama.

5. I loved watching all the girls get ticked about the time Brad spent with Emily. I fell in love with Emily tonight. Did you all see the previews? My friend Mandee pointed out Emily was not in any of the South Africa previews. I predict Emily will be the one to leave the show and then be the next Bachelorette. You heard it here first folks!

6. Once again, the producers brought the drama with the two Ashleys on the two-on-one date. I was rooting for Ashley S but knew he would pick crazy Ashley H. Ashley H was the better dancer. Can I just say, harnesses are not a good look on anyone? I don't want to see anyone's crotch like that.

7. I was sad for Ashley S in her exit interview in the limo. Why did they keep flashing back and forth between happy Ashley with brad and miserable Ashley going home in the limo. She is only 24 and cute. I have no doubt she will find someone else.

8. Michelle Michelle Michelle. You always bring the crazy. "You are not allowed to talk Brad--I'm just going to tie you to this chair." Is there any doubt the girl is cuckoo? Brad looked so uncomfortable but like any man blinded by sex appeal--he gave her the rose.

9. Alli drove me crazy with her tears and the "I don't feel special business." She better have enjoyed that little dessert from Brad because she is the next to go.

10. I love the exotic dates. I watched the preview twice. I can't wait for the drama!

I'm out.


Linda said...

The exit interview. I'm w/ you, what they did to poor Ashley S just for the drama. the camera stayed on her crying way too long while playing "Are You Lonesome Tonight" forever! And that was so mean to keep cutting back to Ashley H & Brad - even if they were in harnesses.
Speaking of exit interviews - I CAN'T WAIT FOR MICHELLE'S! I've decided she is practicing her acting skills - and I think she will be a pretty good porn actress.

Ashley said...

Laughed out loud at this post, fine work in spite of being hastily penned. I felt bad for Ashley S. but seriously she's SO young--she has no business claiming to be the hulk yet. Loved Shawntel's date but not that $5000 fugtastic bag. I actually liked that they showed her talking about her job because it was real stuff. My predictions: Alli (Jennifer Garner) is the next to go, then Jacqui, you are right about Emily, then Michelle does something over the top crazy and gets booted, then the four hometowns are Shawntel, Chantel, Ashley H. and Brit. I hate when the show is over and I am left desperate for more!

SewSara said...

i loved hearing shawntel talk about her job - only because my dad was a funeral director and i grew up above the mortuary - ala My Girl.
SO WEIRD to imagine a beautiful female embalming dead bodies.

i think emily is too sweet for him and not sexy/fun/wild enough. i bet she'll go. it looked like he was crying really hard when he was hugging her in one preview. hmmmm.

now i'm hoping for one of the chantals i think.

Dave & Kami said...

I loved pretty woman date too. sooo fun! Felt bad for heff's playmate. Let's hope Brad didn't remember. I agree with Ashley. We've been saying Alli looks like jennifer garner. love her big dimples, but don't think she's the one for Brad. They need to come up with more original dates. Lame that they had them star in a broadway show again and i'm totally with you. Nobody looks good in a harness!!

Love you Brooke. You always make me laugh soo hard.

Denise said...

Do you really think Alli is on the out? I think she looks like Jennifer Garner. She should at least get a one on one.

I think Emily is perfect for Brad b/c they are both attractive yet boring, imo. I think he'll freak out and let her go, tho.

They played poor Ashley S WAY too much. It was silly. If I ever go on this show, (cause they totally want a 37 year old married gal) remind me after all of my limo crying to at least say something like, "I know I will find love." It drives me crazy that they are always so distraught and feel like this was their last chance. (Hello, if it's your last chance, don't go compete with 30 other girls! Find a regular dating situation, good grief!)

Denise said...

btw - I totally checked in earlier to see what you wrote and was sad when there wasn't a post. Keep them coming!

Liz said...

I hate that you have got me hooked on this crap. The worst part is listening to Bill mock me in the background. But I'm sadly hooked.

I loved in the preview for next week where Brad said to Michelle, "How do you know ME well enough to know what I need". She is so playing this. She's a tramp.

Stephanie said...

First off, I think we all need to get together the night Michelle's movie comes out and laugh our socks off. heehee. Just a word of warning, you may not want to go with me if you actually intend to enjoy the movie. I'll be the one laughing during the wrong parts and hitting my elbow in my hand whenever I feel tension building, flaring my eyes and cracking up. You'll probably notice me when I'm escorted out of the theater for being too disruptive. Hasn't happened to me yet though. haha. Thank you Michelle for being so crazy entertaining. I'm guessing she watches a lot of daytime tv/soap operas and she has a hard time distinguishing between real life and fantasy. I think she believes she is only acting how a "real woman" would act. I'm going to miss the drama when she leaves--already looking forward to "After the Final Rose."

Anyway,that was a good Bachelor last night--I was in tears and heartsick to watch Emily have to go through that. I was so impressed with her though that she could she the positive in it and felt the NEED to do it--therapeutic for her. Touching moment. :) Even after all that, I'm not sure if Emily is ready to make such a leap. I think Brad would choose her in the end if she was ready. She doesn't seem sure about him yet.

I loved the Pretty Woman moment for Shawntal and loved to see Michelle's reaction. Okay, they all were a bit envious, but Shawntal (sp?) needed it the most. Not sure that anyone could have a love connection going shopping but who wouldn't want that. At least, when she goes home, she'll have a full closet. Brad had some funny/awkward moments with her--I loved that he couldn't keep a straight face talking about their conversation after--that was funny! :)

Poor Ashley. :(

Can't wait for next week!

Laura B. said...

I agree...good work in a rush! I actually liked Shawntel telling Brad that she likes dead people. He was laughing so hard it made me laugh.
Emily is still to reserved for me.
Michelle is crazy but I think she'll go far.
Why is Britt still around? I can't figure it out!
Do you agree that Chantal is the worst dresser ever??

Elizabeth said...

No one looks good in those Motorcar racing suits ... except Motorcar racers.
I will NEVER rock climb again after seeing that pic.
Exactly how much fake tan would I need on my legs to pull off the short short boots combo? Dont answer that ...there probably isnt enough in the world.

brooke said...

Mom--you made me laugh.

Ashley--you are right--the bag was fugtastic.

SewSara--You're right--Emily is too sweet for Brad and will leave on her own.

Kami--Emily still looks like a playmate but I forgive her.

Denise--I would totally put you on the show--that is, if something happened to Jimmy...

Liz-you know you love it. Bill, you secretly do too!

Stephanie--we are already planning a Midway to Heaven party for all who read this blog but not in the theatre--I don't want her getting a cent of my money. We are renting the DVD and enjoying it in the privacy of my home.

Laura B.--I totally forgot to mention how heinous Chantel's dress was--holy crap--holy boobs. Bad!!1

Elizabeth-I thought the same thing--may I never go rock-climbing again--not that I was going a lot to begin with.

Em said...

I actually watched this episode! And now I'm hooked. I hope he drops all of 'em again. Besides Emily, they're all crazy and I think you're right--she's out.

1. If a man stops eating because you're using words like "leakage" and "orifice," you should stop talking.right.then.
2. Just because you pull something off the shelf, doesn't mean you have to buy it, esp when it's upwards of 5K.
3. I hope you Utahns boycott whatever movie Crazy M is in. Yikers.
4. Listening to these girls talk about feeling rejected makes me sad. And on that note:
5. This show is hilarious, but wow, what mockery of women. It seriously, seriously sets our progress back 30 years or so.
But I'm totally watching Costa Rica and S.A.!!!

Have you read this?

Stephanie said...
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Stephanie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Carolyn said...

I want in to the mock michelle movie party! Too funny!

Jill said...

You're funny.

Lori said...

Hello! I'm Jill's sister Lori, she referred me because of your Bachelor commentary. I am also an intrigued onlooker of the show. It's so embarrassing but I can't get enough of their shenanigans! Michelle is totally crazy and of course he picked her. The only think that would've made her more obvious in her approach was a black leather outfit and a whip! Serious. I think she'll manipulate him with her sex appeal for a little while longer but he knows what's happening, he's just not fighting it yet.

Greg said...

Good post, Brooke!

Is it just me or does the pressure seem to be getting to Michelle (aka Miss SLC)? It seemed like her face was breaking out, especially at the beginning of the show. First the black eye, now this...

Second, Brad should not complain about having to be compared to Emily's ex-fiance after he forces her to re-visit all those feelings during the trip to the race track. Brad should have felt acted a lot more confident. I think it would have won him points.

Speaking of confidence, Alli could sure use some. I have to believe that one of the worst things you could do if you are a contestant on this show is to act insecure and vulnerable. I don't think that's ever attractive.

Ashley H. said...

I don't know you, but I love your posts! They make me laugh so hard! I had to fast forward through Shawntel's date b/c the "process of embalming" made me want to hurl! How could they talk about that while eating???? Alli needs to go next... she is so awkward!

Kim said...

I always love your posts about the Bachelor...You make me laugh!! I have to say I too hated Vegas at one time, but now that I live here.....It's not ALL bad! Just saying.

Anonymous said...

So here's the thing. I'm so sick of Michelle I want to punch her. I can't get over it...she bugs me kinda like Uma Thurman (aka Uma Throw-Up-Man). Is Brad so shallow that he can't see through her sluttness???? Gimme a break, Brad.

Am I the only one who feels Emily just isn't ready yet??? She is adorable, but she bores me and she's got boatloads of baggage. That's a tough package to take on.

I like Shauntel. She "matches" Brad and they look great together. The other Ashley needs to go.

BTW is it possible to "feel a connection" with ALL the girls?

nic said...

So it was a fun Bachelor. I felt so bad for Emily, but I decided she shouldn't have come on the show. I don't think she is ready to move on from her old fiance. It has been 5 years. So I think it is time to say goodbye to Emily. As for Shawntel's date it was the best date by far. I would kill for that date. It would be a dream come true. I agree enough about her job. I did feel bad for the Ashleys. Not so fun to be on a date with your best friend. I have to say I love Vegas for a weekend trip with your husband. Can't wait for next week. I think that is when it is going to get really good.

Holly said...

I said the same thing about Emily last night - he's not going to pick her and she'll be the next Bachelorette!

I thought the producers were evil for making her go there.

jacey said...

I always look forward to your posts and comments, so thanks! I was wondering why the rejected ladies left in a taxi and not the usual limo? Maybe they ran out of money from the Pretty Woman shopping spree?

Anonymous said...


I have a feeling you won't have to wait too long to enjoy Ms. SLC's movie in the comfort of your own home.

Despite having Kirby Heyborne in it, Ms. SLC's involvement could guarantee "straight-to-video" status.