Monday, January 24, 2011

It is My Day. It is My Time

Tonight I watched the show with my friend Mandee. Well, not in person--we watched it at our own homes and texted each other throughout the show. It was pretty much a running dialogue on our phones and I laughed so hard a couple times that I think I was starting to annoy Sam. So Mandee forgive me because I'm just going to be saying all the same stuff I already texted you.

I have to start by saying I loved Chris Harrison's cardigan at the beginning. I usually hate cardis on men but on Chris, it worked.

Okay, let's talk about Chantel. She is my current favorite. I think she is good for Brad. She has a little fire. Loved the cabana scene. But is anyone else sick of the producers putting every girl on a date where she has to face her biggest fear? I would never ever tell the producers that I am terrified of birds or I guarantee Brad and I would end up at an aviary.

I actually liked the group date. My cousin Liz has a thing for Dr. Drew so I couldn't help but think about her the entire time. But I'm sorry, Liz, Dr. Drew? I just don't see it!

Britt brought her A game to the Dr. Drew date. I wasn't loving her heart hoops (and she desperately needs a hair cut) but she got it on with Brad. She might just be the dark horse this season. Brad apparently loves her. My friend Mandee commented about how tiny her bum is. She is a toothpick. And the worst is--she is a food and wine critic. If I had that job, I would be 300 pounds, no questions asked.

The Dr. Drew after party was where Ashley H. took a train to crazy town. I don't think she's coming back folks. From her rant in the hot tub to her sneaking up on Brad and Britt to her tear-filled complaint to Brad the next day, she is on an emotional roller-coaster. I understand that the dynamics of the show bring out every girl's emotional side, but you've got to pull it together in front of Brad. He just saw the next 50 years pass before his eyes and it wasn't pretty. Can you even imagine if you were one of Ashley's dental patients? Would you not be on the horn first thing tomorrow morning trying to find another dentist? Me too.

Alright. Michelle. Have I mentioned how annoying she is? "It is MY day. It is MY time. She is taking MY TIME on MY DAY!" Can you even picture how Bridezilla she had to have been on her wedding day with the MY DAY business? I loved how Chantel called her out about causing a scene on the first group date. Maybe that's why I like Chantel so much.

I could seriously spend the rest of this post bagging on Michelle. I don't have to. You all get it. She totally sucks. She is always acting sooo tough to the camera in her monologues and then so different with Brad. Don't get me started on the black eye....I honestly couldn't watch her time in the pool with Brad. When I see Brad with Michelle, it makes me question his judgement. Yes, she's pretty. She is also Crazy.Like.A.Fox.

I fast forwarded through the therapist. Someone tell me if anything good happened with him. Heaven help us if he is going to be a regular thing. Apparently, Fleiss didn't get my letter last week.

I kind of thought the little picnic with Emily was hokey. He clearly really likes her. She is a perfect little Barbie doll and so nice. I just honestly don't know if she has enough umph for him you know? Did you all love her 6 inch gold hooker shoes?

I was so embarrassed for Shawntel (not Chantel!) with her 1-2-3 leap into Brad's arms re-enactment. My friend Heidi thinks she looks just like Hillary Swank. Good call.

I'm so glad Brad sent home the ugly bartender Stacey (who is also a cheater.) Sheesh--how did she stick around this long? I was kind of sad to see Meghan go. She seemed the most normal to me with the best personality but we all know that ain't what it's about. I was shocked that Lisa (from Kansas) with the horrible hair got a rose.

Next week, we are going to Vegas. I hate Vegas. And seriously Fleiss, we are doing the Broadway show thing again? We've got to get some new date ideas and venues. We've been using that same pool on top of the building for years now.

And the racetrack? Good grief. Poor Emily. They are playing her like a fiddle. It is such good tv. I don't know how I'm going to sleep this week!


Linda said...

Great recap. I'm so embarrassed that Michelle is from Salt Lake City, and we keep being reminded of that every time she opens her mouth.

Ashley said...

Liz has a thing for Dr. Drew? It was great tv tonight. I loved Brad when he said "will you accept the damn rose?" He's soooo the best bachelor. Have I mentioned I like Brad?

I think I read somewhere that Ashley H. is a dental student, not a real dentist yet.

I actually liked the Dr. Drew date, because it wasn't another acting or broadway play date. Just once I'd like to see these people go to Chili's and bowling.

Monika said...

I've been stalking your bachelor posts and even clued my sister on to them. You are too funny. Thanks for the ammo in Liz, I will use that well. I had to laugh when the therapist came on again last night after reading your post last week. He basically gave Brad the go ahead to get "physical" with every girl so it could be a true test of lust, I mean love. I'll quote Brad and say by physical I just mean kissing.

Liz said...

Did not see it, though did Tivo it because of Dr. Drew. It's not a major crush...I just love anytime I see him rip a Hollywood type up one side and down the other. Can't really explain it. Bill just rolls his eyes.

Carolyn said...

Oh Brooke - You make me laugh! I read in the paper today that Michelle is in a new mormon movie. Oh Please! Can't we just get rid of her!!!

Denise said...

Your friend is right, Dr. Drew is hot...for an old guy.

Michelle is a skeezer....and I'm not even sure what that word means. I think she is acting, too.

I LOVE how relaxed Brad is with Chantal although I don't get how she is always saying she is so tough. She cried like 50 times last night. She is my new fav, though.

I can actually see him ending up with Emily because I don't think Brad has that much of a personality so he doesn't necessarily need the spunk of Chantal, but I'd be thrilled if he picked her. I think Chantal might get bored, though.

Total crap that they make Emily go to the race track, but Brad should've stepped in to say he wasn't going to include her on the date. I'm pretty sure that she told him her ex was a race car driver. I guess it's hard to keep things straight when you're dating a 500 people at the same time!

Jenn J. said...

Michelle is absolutely crazy and hard to watch, but I'm rooting for her to make top four just so that I can see what kind of things they do in Salt Lake on her home date. She's crazy, and I wonder how this will affect the movie she's in.(I think it's called, "Midway to Heaven" or something.) I do have to say I thought it was funny when she said, she thought she "kicked her own ass in her sleep."

Emily is great and I feel bad that they are making her go to the race track. Everytime they exploit her story in some way I feel bad for her. Then I realize she signed up for this, so it's kind of her own fault. But I DO like her, hooker shoes and all.

Chantal is great, but I agree, maybe a little too spunky for Brad.

Laura B. said...

it's good to know that week after week, we're on the same page with this show.

Greg said...

Michelle is a piece of work. She is so selfish that it is hard to see what she brings to the table in any relationship.

Also, my favorite line of the night was when she gushed about how "real" her first kiss with Brad was. Yes, Michelle, it's so real to have your first kiss on national television as you rappel down a building. Very real.

Who hasn't experienced that?

Laura said...

I was pretty sure that my cousin was friends with Michelle. I looked on my cousin's facebook page and yep, there were tons of pictures of Michelle and her daughter Brielle. I am pretty sure I met her once while visiting my cousin. Too bad she is so crazy! I think it is all an act so that she can promote her new movie.

I like Chantal and Emily. I agree that Brad should have known about the racetrack thing, poor Emily. This season really is fun to watch.
p.s. I love your blog and found it through Denae Harlow's blog. She is a friend from high school

alexandra said...

Every time I read these posts I wish that I had caught the episode. I love that you won't be able to sleep this week over upcoming Bachelor developments.

Mandee said...

It was so fun hashing out the Bach with you over text-- and I loved when Brad said "will you accept the damn rose" too. Ahhh, Brad Womack. I could handle his kind of boring any day.

Stephanie said...

Wow, I'm having too much fun at Michelle's when they read the date card that said, "Michelle, Let's hang out together" and Chantal pointed out that everyone else's date card said something to do with love and then Michelle got so overly concerned about it. haha. I like Chantal but she certainly finds time to use her claws--not sure how Brad would feel about her after seeing her toy with Michelle like that. Although, Michelle would have much more of her actions to worry about Brad seeing (That is, if she could even see that how she was acting wasn't normal behavior)--so no worries there.

I absolutely loved how she demonstrated how she was going to elbow Ashley in the face if she didn't get a rose because of her...I may have to use that move of hers on a daily basis--that was hilarious! We watched that over and over! Her eyes flared afterwards to add emphasis to how serious she was---hahahahaha. Oh, I love this show. :D

I missed the Dr. Drew part because I decided I would rather take a bathroom break than sit through that again. I assume we didn't miss much. I think it's great that he is so comfortable talking with his therapist and being in touch with his emotional side or whatever but I don't want to see it. Although, I could see how Ashley could just fit right into that part of his life--couldn't you just see that? She needs to set up an appt.

Shawntel, take the attention while you can get it, it won't last long.

I still love Emily--I think they would be great together. I was sick to see that they were making her go to the racetrack like that! That was cruel! I don't understand why Brad acted surprised about it--I thought she already covered that and can't imagine forgetting that tidbit.

Note to the next girls on the Bachelor--don't fill out what your fears are on the application if you don't want to face them head-on. Better than that, write down I'm scared of fish,snorkeling...if that is something you love doing. I'm still wondering how they got Michelle to go over that rail and rappel down that building. No amount of money, pride...would have gotten me to do that! Wow!

Can't wait for next week!

Elizabeth said...

I have questions.
Do any of the guys and girls stay together in the end? Do they have to get married? Is there prize money?
That is all.

brooke said...


Only two couples have stayed together. One couple actually got married and have kids. There is no prize money. They don't have to get married. The goal is to "find love."

nic said...

Good recap. I die at the therapist. Why do we care about him. Enough. I am with you the dates are getting old. They need some new ideas. Especially the group dates struggle this season. What is up with Michelle and the black eye. Can you honestly get one in your sleep. I think she is totally acting. I think Chantel is good for Brad. They both seem a little hickish. If that is a word. Can't wait for next Monday.

Price Cream Parlor said...

I found your blog via Jills - you are cracking me up with your Bachelor recaps! SOOO funny!

I was dying when I realized that Michelle is on that new movie that comes out Midway to Heaven. I am SURE that is why she is 'playing' the crazy one - more air time! She is on all the time because of that. I bet she just wants to jump right into the Hollywood movie scene now - that she really doesn't even like Brad... ha!

Thanks for the extra fun entertainment by recapping!

Linde said...

Hey just read that you are having Luke train Ryan. When he is done, can I borrow him for Jacob? :)

marta said...

okay.. i cannot wait to hear what you have to say about the bawl baby fest tonight. and seriously!? michelle? could she be any worse!? and too bad those special little notes did not work for that one girl who got the boot. oh brooke, your recaps are seriously my favorite.