Tuesday, January 11, 2011

cccccatfight!

I'm back from the dead. Thanks Ashley for the public service announcement. There really is no worse feeling than lying in bed, sick as a dog, knowing I was missing out on the Bachelor. I hated being the last one to see it. I refused to look at any recaps today until I watched it for myself.

So much to say. First, I have to start with Michelle "It's my freakin' birthday--I got a rose--it's my birthday--I'm obnoxious as hell--my thirtieth birthday--I'm a drama queen--Michelle. I haven't wanted to reach through the tv and slap someone so badly since Jake did his After the break-up interview with Chris Harrison and Vienna.


Did anyone get the impression that Michelle has used that "you've got walls, let's peel away the layers" thing like a million times. Skanky miss skanky. I'm sure Brad was super impressed with her walk off the set dramatics. I could spend all night on her but I must move on.

Ashley was adorable at the carnival. Didn't you all love her fluffy little gold dress? She scored major points with the twinner dad stories. Plus, she's a freaking dentist! That scores points in my book.


Speaking of jobs, Melissa (crazy like a fox) kept talking about how she quit her job to come on the show. You are a waitress! I'm sure you have already been hired back at Chili's as I write this...I like the girls with real jobs.


Through the entire episode, crazy Melissa and Raichel the manscaper go at it. I genuinely think Melissa was the more crazy of the two but Raichel let herself get pulled into the drama. Did you see how they both had been crying so much that neither of them had any make-up on at the rose ceremony! Gimme a break. Ali and Roberto sniffed out both of them.


I'm all over the place tonight (sue me--I'm sick!) For the massive group date, the crew films some publc service announcements for the Red Cross. I have to confess, I hate the dates where they put on costumes and do fake soap opera acting. Haven't we seen this premise like every season? Someone dislikes their costume, someone totally makes out with the bachelor, everyone gets ticked off. Someone storms off.....shocking.

I loved Jackie's date with Brad. Sam, are you taking notes? A facial, followed by a hotel room full of dresses, shoes and Neil Lane jewelry and then a private concert by Train? Most of my dates with Sam entail a corner booth at Goodwood where we can plow through a platter of chicken nachos with no one watching, but I digress. Jackie ain't sticking around much longer though. She is too sweet and not nearly sassy and sexy enough.


Do you all think Britt looks just like Britt on Glee?


So now we have two Glee cast members. (Jackie looks like Rachel.)


I still like Emily from North Carolina:


I still like adorable Ashley S:


And I like Chantel O. too. She is no-nonsense.


The most-cringe worthy moment of the night was Keltie's exit interview. Sobbing, she says, "This was a last-ditch effort for me...I've tried every kind of dating imaginable...I think I'm meant to be alone." You are on national tv, girlfriend. Just walk away with your dignity.


That's it folks. What did you think? Am I being too hard on Michelle from Salt Lake? Who do you think are the front runners right now? There are still a handful of girls that get no air time but make it through. Weird.

17 comments:

SewSara said...

did you see the interview that barb smith did on abc4? i got the impression that michelle doesn't stick around much longer. and she's in some mormon-ish movie with that one guy from singles ward ... ?! weird. i'm embarrassed for her and how immature she's acted on the show.

i think emily and ashley s. are the front runners ...

The Mostess said...

I hope Michelle finds your blog and gets into a catfight with you. I would pay 27 cents to see that. I think Sam is with me (unless he's busy eating nachos and reading the SI Swimsuit edition, of course).

Laura B. said...

Great minds think alike!! :)

Sarah said...

I love your Bachelor posts. You always make me laugh out loud! Michelle is crazy. CRAZY. CRAZY. I couldn't believe when she pulled him away right off the bat at the rose ceremony and started asking his the stupidest questions ever. I think she has gotten by on her looks for so long, that she's never had to use her brain. I would be shocked if she lasts another episode. I want a room full of dresses and jewelry too, but I live in the real world... that probably involves something close to your version of chicken nachos at Goodwood. Funny stuff!

Linda said...

You must be my "kinfolk," my thoughts exactly!! Only I don't have all the names down yet. Only the really obnoxious ones. I said last week that Michelle was shallow - that was way too kind. She's a drama-queen brain-dead ditz. Has the rockette left yet? I knew you would love Keltie's exit interview - classic.

Sam said...

While a cat fight has a certain "je ne sais quoi," it is not quite HLA.

@The Mostess. I do love nachos. But to clarify, the SI Swimsuit Issue--which BTW does not come out until next month--is not read...it is enjoyed like a Monet, Degas, or Cezanne.

Adele said...

I was waiting for this post... Glad you're feeling better! Ah.. Totally agree... Michelle is CRAZY and I am so glad Melissa is gone. So what if you quit your job as a waitress!! Go get another one! Goodbye Keltie.. I had no idea she was so crazy until that exit interview... Seriously.. out came the CRAZY!

Heather said...

I only watch this show so I can appreciate your posts. Seriously... do these girls have NO self-respect? I just want to slap them. Also, I'm bothered by the fact that Jake is 38 and the oldest girl is what, 30? with the vast majority being early twenties. I'm not too impressed with any of the girls yet.

Heather said...

Obviously, I cannot keep the bachelors straight...I meant that Brad is 38. See how annoyed I am? We know it's all about the crazy women, anyway.

leandparkermakes3 said...

Heaven help us! What was up with the waving of the rose back and forth in the pool? So lame. As for the drama girls, good riddance.

Ashley said...

Agree, agree, agree. I While I thought Ashley looked adorable, all I could think about was how bad her feet must have hurt in those 4-inch heels running around the carnival. And Michelle--just plain rude. My favorite part about the crazy waitress was her telling Brad she ate four pieces of onion pizza. Seriously, you are on the Bachelor, Brad is on his way over, and you eat four pieces of onion pizza? I'd be starving myself and drinking gallons of Listerine. Save the onion pizza for the honeymoon!

Ashley said...

P.S. It's painful how much Mike Fleiss is controlling us! Bless his heart.

Amy M. said...

Who says (in a pouty voice), "It's my birthday" 100 times like that? I was dying. Yes, I also thought she had used that "walls/layers" line before.
I was glad the two fighters left. I had no interest in seeing that lameness continue.

Em said...

Of course I haven't seen this yet, but I have to say that I looked up Keltie's name because I was sure it was a dog breed. Come to find out I was thinking of a Sheltie.
Her hair looks like a Sheltie's, too.

nic said...

Glad you are back so you can post about the Bachelor. I was dying at Michelle and the birthday comments. We got the hint the first time you said it was your freakin birthday. I like Ashley the Dentist. The cat fights got really old. I am glad Brad got rid of those two. I thought Ali and Roberto looked already frumpy and married. She was cuter when she was on the show. They aren't even married yet. Ali needs to step it up and go back blonder. I still have no clue who Brad really likes.

Stephanie said...

I'm glad I waited to watch Bachelor before I read your blog. I couldn't believe all the drama and that we have another crazy Michelle on the show. Except Melissa seemed to take the part of the last Michelle--but it looked like the same location. Ahh,memories. ;) Michelle from SL,UT drove me crazy.I couldn't believe that all of her conversations were so shallow. She seemed like a guy trying to pick up a girl in a bar. It was odd. She couldn't think on her own or be real enough to just talk with Brad without coming up with a list of questions? What kind of a hairdresser is she?! That is one spoiled, self-absorbed girl. Wow! Stay away from her! I can't believe Brad fell for her "it's my birthday" game--I think he's smart enough to not fall for that one again. I could totally see her trying that again next week. I hope she gets dropped fast.

I love Emily and think Ashley S. was cute. I was surprised at the girl he chose for the "Pretty Woman" date, I still don't feel like I know her much other than she was one lucky girl to get the date. The next dates will probably be hurled from a building or some scary stunt. I love how she said this was probably the best date she had ever been on...really? I would say that was a safe assumption. I don't think any marriage could succeed with such a fantasy first date...what could you do to top that? Hmmm...

I almost didn't recognize Shawntal (sp?)out of the hideous yellow dress. Someone must have helped her because she looked so much better. Now if she'd learn to smile. I hope they find the Pretty Woman in her, she has been around dead people too long and just needs someone to teach her to be a girl and enjoy the living. I would like to see her come out of her shell more. She is the one I'd choose for a make-over and underdog, like Brittany Murphy in the movie, "Clueless." I love a good make-over :) heehee.

My heart broke for the poor Rockette. That was one of the saddest admissions I think I have ever seen on tv. I hope someone checked up on her after that. Wasn't she the one that had to be the girl in all those casts/slings? That was just harsh to make anyone dress up like that. Michelle should have played that role, her ego is the only one that could've handled that.

By the way, I think I'd rather have him end up with a dentist over a manscaper. What kind of a job title is that?

Stephanie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.