cccccatfight!

I'm back from the dead. Thanks Ashley for the public service announcement. There really is no worse feeling than lying in bed, sick as a dog, knowing I was missing out on the Bachelor. I hated being the last one to see it. I refused to look at any recaps today until I watched it for myself.

So much to say. First, I have to start with Michelle "It's my freakin' birthday--I got a rose--it's my birthday--I'm obnoxious as hell--my thirtieth birthday--I'm a drama queen--Michelle. I haven't wanted to reach through the tv and slap someone so badly since Jake did his After the break-up interview with Chris Harrison and Vienna.


Did anyone get the impression that Michelle has used that "you've got walls, let's peel away the layers" thing like a million times. Skanky miss skanky. I'm sure Brad was super impressed with her walk off the set dramatics. I could spend all night on her but I must move on.

Ashley was adorable at the carnival. Didn't you all love her fluffy little gold dress? She scored major points with the twinner dad stories. Plus, she's a freaking dentist! That scores points in my book.


Speaking of jobs, Melissa (crazy like a fox) kept talking about how she quit her job to come on the show. You are a waitress! I'm sure you have already been hired back at Chili's as I write this...I like the girls with real jobs.


Through the entire episode, crazy Melissa and Raichel the manscaper go at it. I genuinely think Melissa was the more crazy of the two but Raichel let herself get pulled into the drama. Did you see how they both had been crying so much that neither of them had any make-up on at the rose ceremony! Gimme a break. Ali and Roberto sniffed out both of them.


I'm all over the place tonight (sue me--I'm sick!) For the massive group date, the crew films some publc service announcements for the Red Cross. I have to confess, I hate the dates where they put on costumes and do fake soap opera acting. Haven't we seen this premise like every season? Someone dislikes their costume, someone totally makes out with the bachelor, everyone gets ticked off. Someone storms off.....shocking.

I loved Jackie's date with Brad. Sam, are you taking notes? A facial, followed by a hotel room full of dresses, shoes and Neil Lane jewelry and then a private concert by Train? Most of my dates with Sam entail a corner booth at Goodwood where we can plow through a platter of chicken nachos with no one watching, but I digress. Jackie ain't sticking around much longer though. She is too sweet and not nearly sassy and sexy enough.


Do you all think Britt looks just like Britt on Glee?


So now we have two Glee cast members. (Jackie looks like Rachel.)


I still like Emily from North Carolina:


I still like adorable Ashley S:


And I like Chantel O. too. She is no-nonsense.


The most-cringe worthy moment of the night was Keltie's exit interview. Sobbing, she says, "This was a last-ditch effort for me...I've tried every kind of dating imaginable...I think I'm meant to be alone." You are on national tv, girlfriend. Just walk away with your dignity.


That's it folks. What did you think? Am I being too hard on Michelle from Salt Lake? Who do you think are the front runners right now? There are still a handful of girls that get no air time but make it through. Weird.