Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Strongest Woman in the World

I go to the gym regularly. I lift weights. But I have a weak upper-body--No getting around it. In fact, if Luke ever falls asleep in our bed, and I have to move him, I can't do it anymore. He is a solid 50 lbs of dead weight.

The other night, I had an experience that convinced me that under the right circumstances, I could kill a man with my bare hands.

Luke had been in a foul mood all day. He wasn't listening. He was being pouty, defiant and snotty. My in-laws showed up with some cookies for the kids. Luke was stretched out on the couch. I told Luke to scoot over so they could sit down. He ignored me. I told him again. He ignored again (in-laws looking on), I asked him a third time, no response. All of a sudden, I grabbed him, lifted all 50 pounds of him over my head just like Mangus Mangusen lifting a tree trunk on World's Strongest Man and carried him to his room and heaved him onto his bed. He never knew what hit him.

My in-laws were impressed. Sam couldn't believe it. This is how I know that under the right circumstances, when adrenline kicks in, and I get mad enough, I could take anyone. (Weak upper-body be damned!) Yes, I'm bragging--it felt good.

14 comments:

The Mostess said...

You teach tha6t kid a lesson!! You rule.

I realized I was out of shape when I strained my back lifting my suitcase in Germany. Time to hit the gym and work that core!

I'm impressed!

Sam said...

I can vouch for the story. My parents have been fortunate to see Brooke lose it on the kids on multiple occasions. I don't think it phases them at all.

I do think there is big difference between hog-tying Luke and "killing a man." What if he happened to pop you in the nose first? Or you stubbed your toe during the melee? Last time I checked, you had a microscopic tolerance for pain.

As a side note, I love the "World's Strongest Man Competition." I used to watch it all the time, and, ironically, Brooke would always complain. I loved to watch the steriod-saturated contestants carry iron anvils, lift cars (with passengers inside!), pull a firetruck, etc. Ten times better than the Bachelor/ette.

Christie said...

I have a weak upper body, too. I've been working out with a trainer for a year and a half, and I can ALMOST do one push-up (guy style). He laughs at me and is convinced that someday I will be doing all my push ups guy style. I just laugh at that.

Amy said...

First off, I love Magnus. He's crazy strong. Second off, I think it runs in our genes. I've always said I'm freakishly strong. And I've proven it time and time again. I have no doubt you could take on just about anything given the right mood!

Forget the weights, just spend alot of time with your kids!

Linde said...

That is sooo funny! Children act that way? Ignor you???? ;)

Ashley said...

There is nothing like a disobedient child to send me into a superhuman rage. I love that it happened in front of your in-laws. Great pic on this post. I wonder if you'd have the same strength to carry him out of the house if it were on fire?

Alexandra said...

I think it is great that you don't devolve into Shrinking Wimpy Woman when your kid acts up in front of guests. It is so tempting to appease them in order to avoid the embarrassment of a big showdown in front of others. The reality, though, is that it is more embarrassing to not correct improper behavior. I always have to remind myself of that so that I don't plead and cajole and spoil my kid when trying to contain my son's behavior in public.

Heidi said...

You are hilarious! Rowdy is starting to get so dang heavy I can barely lift him...but when I am mad at him I can throw him around like he is a feather. I think this is a gift straight from above...they must have a little fear, or they take over :)

Reximus said...

It has been many years, but I have felt the wrath of Brooke's rage. Amy was always the strongest cousin, though, and ironically one of the most petit. Brookie, would that adrenaline strength kick in against an attacking crow or is it only good against bratty kids?

Em said...

This has to be one of the greatest posts of all time.

Adrenaline is fantastic. If anger could spur you on to huck your kid onto his bed, you could easily shlep him and who knows what else out of a burning house no problem.

Julie said...

Okay so I found the link to your blog from your facebook profile and I took a little looksie. Girl, we need to live a little closer to each other because I have a feeling we would be good friends! (Not like we aren't now, but you know what I mean, peeps) You made me laugh hard. And then to top it off you write a post about Jon and Kate!! You are a woman after my own heart! Come visit us anytime. Remember Becky Miner? She lives around the corner from us. And we are doing our darndest to get Steven and Suzie out here. It could be like old times back in Provo. And then for me and Sam it would be like old times at Skyline High!! Rock on Wonder Woman!!

Jill said...

Awesome story! I have weak upper body strength too, but have been known to harness the adrenaline and kick some butt when necessary.

Marni said...

I am glad I am not the only one that physically moves children and tosses them into a room when I have had it!

Corinne said...

oh that is too funny! it is crazy the sides of us the kids can bring out when they are naughty and we have had it!